16 January 2010


The Medicis were appointed official bankers for the Vatican in 1412.  Ivan IV (the Terrible) became Tsar of Russia in 1547.  Ernest Shackleton's expedition found the magnetic South Pole in 1909.  The United States started bombing Iraq, beginning the first Gulf War in 1991.  Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf became President of Liberia and Africa's first elected female head of state in 2006.

There is not one single sleb birthday worth the effort of typing.

It is National Religious Freedom Day here in the United States.


  1. he may be cornball but i love rockwell - remember a 60s one showing a wee black girl walking past a hate-spattered wall - brilliant.

    typing this in lower case while waiting for apple to return my call sheesh

  2. heyhabib, Montana,

    was / wasn't around at the end of yesterday : real-life interrupts.

  3. Morning all.

    My darling son brought us up a bacon sarnie in bed at 9am, bless him. It was really lovely, but I could quite happily have stayed asleep another hour. I might go back for a little nap later...

  4. 'My darling son brought us up a bacon sarnie in bed at 9am, bless him.'

    Being a veggie I guess he hadn't eaten it first. . . sorry!

  5. Have just posted on the Brown thread. Utterly futile, of course, but God I feel better...

    Annoyingly, they've modded AlisdairC for citing imasmadashell's epic post from last year (the 'rotting corpse' one). Not even with a tag - just disappeared it. But it was up for a while and I enjoyed readin that particular cri de coeur again.

  6. great post there, BB.

    have taken the precautionary step of saving the imasmadashell post from my clippings into word, in case the mods decide to go back and rewrite history...

  7. Goldacre worth a read today - particularly the link to the email about Woolworths stores. I needed cheering up, and that did the trick!

  8. Good idea Pip - that post was superb. I have it clipped too. I shall do the same.

    Alasdair - boom boom! I am surprised that he is able to cook bacon for us while simulataneously nagging us for eating meat, but there we go. It was a lovely gesture.

  9. And hello Turminder if you're still lurking!

  10. Morning all,

    Edwin, I too like Rockwell despite the corny homespun ´americana´ of his work. He was the great artistic recorder of the American 20th Century.

    The problem we all live with is the painting you refer to above.

    What made the painting so effective was the fact that Rockwell was seen very much as part of the establishment and by painting this shocking picture in 1960, helped bring civil rights to the forefront.

  11. Hmph. I haven't clipped it, it seems. I will have to have a look through his posting history and find it again.

    That was the beauty of Rockwell - he could make some strong social commentary as well as the fireside schmaltzy stuff.

  12. BB - here you go

    • imasmadashell
    11 May 2009, 3:56PM
    "Those outraged by our expenses are not addressing deeper questions such as what kind of people we do want in parliament"
    You mean the kind of people I thought I was voting for in 1997?
    You people just dont get it, do you? This expenses scandal is the culmination of years of disillusionment that we have had to endure with the Nu-Lab project. Here's some home truths for you.
    The vast majority of voters in this country hate your guts. And its a double whammy, the ones who despise you the most are the very people who voted for you back in 1997. For the millions of us who celebrated the removal of the Tories that night, hoping that a Labour government would undo all the pain and suffering that the Tories had inflicted, you have systematically destroyed those dreams, whilst putting two fingers up to its supporters.
    You see, you have betrayed every single principle the Labour party once stood for, trampling upon Labours once proud traditions and shredding any sense of decency. Your party, a Labour party, has moved so far to the right, you have turned it into a Thatcherite Frankenstein. Using the pretext of a ‘war on terror, you have introduced draconian legislation, destroying our rights and freedoms, and are intent on bringing in I.D. cards. You now mean to pry into every phone call and e-mail, surveying our every move and spying upon millions of ordinary people in this country, in a remorseless drive towards an Orwellian nightmare of a totalitarian state. Meanwhile, you have rubbed shoulders with every right wing loon from Berlusconi to Bush, involving us in criminal, obscene wars that have cost millions of civilians their lives and destroyed 2 countries. And, as if we couldnt sink any lower, you have also willingly aided America in the use of torture and rendition, bringing disgrace upon our country and making me feel disgust at our actions. All these deeds should make any self respecting Labour politician feel deeply ashamed. But, when you have such a bunch of selfish, dishonest, unabashed shits so bereft of principles like yourselves, shame simply doesnt come into it, does it?
    You have seemingly cobbled your policies together by either consulting with Rupert Murdoch or the letter writers of the Daily Mail, ending in some of the most ludicrous policy decisions I have ever seen. You have crapped upon the working people of this country, but prostrated yourself before the rich and powerful, ensuring the biggest rise in inequality in this countrys history. You have handed over billions of pounds to ‘get rich quick spivs under the PFI scheme, whilst ensuring that this country will be paying for schools and hospitals for decades. You have overseen the destruction of what passes for a decent education, leading us to a situation where millions of kids only possess a rudimentary ability to read and write. You have stood by and watched as a bunch of corrupt, selfish, reckless bankers have destroyed our economy in the name of greed, and then used my taxes to bail the same bastards out. You pledged to ‘clean up politics, yet have indulged in offering cash for peerages and now this latest disgrace, lining your pockets with dodgy expense claims. On every level, your behaviour since 1997 is scandalous. The result of all your acts has left me, and millions like me, totally disenfranchised, with no-one who speaks for us and no party to vote for.
    The thorough thrashing you will receive in the upcoming election does not come close to alleviating the feelings of despair I have. I wont be happy until the body of Nu-Lab is hung upon a gibbet outside Westminster, with a placard placed around its neck, upon which is emblazoned:
    Behold this stinking corpse. It was a traitor to its people, a betrayer of its heritage and a criminal in its acts. May it rot in hell
    I despise you. I despise your party. I despise what you have done in my name. Go now.

  13. Many thanks your Grace - haven't seen it for ages, I remembered it as having some graffiti but then my RAM is going!

    Such an effective work - brilliant.

  14. Edwin,

    if you look carefully, the N word is scrawled over the wall.

    I never get sick of reading imasmadashell's post above. That along with RedNorth's one during the Tory party conference I think are my favourites.

  15. Hello pals! The Gordon Brown thread is a laugh eh? I've had 1 post modded, 1 completely disappeared. I'm having a T-shirt made with the disappeared post printed on it, n my mom is gonna picket Graun Towers ;- ))

    Here's a man on a skate board..


  16. v nice, turminder - most complicated emoticon?
    clearly someone has not seen the ROFL-copter...

  17. Goldacre always worth a look, v droll today. Thanks for the imasmadashell link as well.

    And great stuff turminderxuss, now here's a cop sledging on a riot shield

    o]-<| “You’re knicked you fucking muppet !”

    Right. Off 'up London' soon. See youse laters.

  18. PS Posted my hound last night. T%hanks for comments Edwin, ;-) I am also posting a piece of random grafitti I saw on a toilet door in Cornwall. I know nothing about the person involved, but it made me titter, and for some reason have kept it..

  19. Turminder,

    nice post on the Brown thread. I see you're going to vote SNP. I'm still undecided about independence.

    I believe that smaller states normally govern more effectively, but when you take a look at the ''Celtic wounded Tiger'' across the Irish Sea, that's the route I do not want an independent Scotland to take.

    As for Salmond-Chocolate. Eat himself. etc.

    His saving grace is that I have it on very good inside authority that Blair loathed Salmond more than any other politician in Westminster. Which puts him highly up in my eyes.

  20. Morning everyone - pissing down here and grey as scummy bathwater. But imasmadashell's glorious rant has cheered me up.

    Someone ought to re-post it on the GB thread - starting from "You people just don't get it...".

    Hello Turminder - great to see you over here.

  21. Sheff - someone did and it went. The number of posts saying 'well, here's an edited version of my earlier post' is quite ridiculous (although heartening that people are actually reposting) - I think they're hoping that this will cause us to moderate (ahem) our opinions - they've already broken one poor soul...

  22. Afternoon all

    Alasdair, BB, Philippa, Turminder: great work on the aspiration thread. i am moved.

  23. Please, please vote for Independence. Then I will move to Scotland. And hopefully Scotland will join the Euro and will be a darn sight better off than England anyway.

    I have dual nationality. Honest guv. I'm not a white settler! :o)

  24. On a complete non-sequitur, Sandy Toksvig made me LOL on the News Quiz by saying

    "The reason they're called Fox News is because that's what they do".


  25. What a warm welcome! Thanx all.

    "My comment that 13/62 comments have been modded, has been dissapeared. I take it the irony switch has snapped off."

    Ws modded. ;)

    I liked whoever it was that said, "OK mods, just tell us what to say, eh?"

  26. Nice to see you here, Turminder. :o)

  27. Phillipa

    just posted on the GB thread using part of imasmadashell's rant. Lets see how long it lasts.

  28. Sheff: great work on the aspiration thread. i am moved.

  29. Afternoon all, and hi Turminder.

    Yes, I think we all have need of the irony meter catalogue today. Jesus and Mo had previously cornered the world's supply, for understandable reasons.

    Here goes one now.

  30. well that lasted all of two minutes!!

  31. Sheff: the clip also got deleted silly me :(

  32. Sheff - you've been zapped...

    Medve - thanks. I must be boring the pants off people with my normal response to any Labour shills posting (basically, what is the point? as all of the other points have already been made) but on this occasion I couldn't not have a bit of a howl...

  33. Afternoon all.

    Good tactic from SarahJaneSmith, which everone could post:

    This comment has been removed by a moderator. Replies may also be deleted.

    (just thought I'd save the mods some time and just delete my comment myself)

  34. Zapping a sheffpixie post is nigh-on unheard of, isn't it? I don't think I remember you having many posts modded before, sheff. Bloody hell the mods are being well daft today, frankly.

  35. Peter Hennessy on Any Questions has just predicted how the three party leaders will perform at the upcoming debates (roughly):
    Brown will do his usual laundry list of Labour achievement, poor soul, "or a soul, as Frankie Howerd would have said"
    Cameron will do 'boy wonder', which he does rather well
    and poor Nick Clegg will just show the importance of being earnest

    Gales of laughter. I do like Hennessy...

  36. 48/241 + all the vanished, it ain't even funny any more..

    @13th Duke, I think independence is our only hope, not nationalistic, but anti imperial. If you can get a copy read Alisdair Grey's pamphlet 'Why the Scots should rule Scotland' It's 10 years old but as valid today as it was then.

  37. SJS's previous post was good too, I recall, but didn't copy it...

  38. Philippa

    Quite liked Louise Doughty's comment about being the token girl on the panel!

  39. It was quite a good programme, but I was very bemused when R4 seemed to start playing a weather report over the top of it! And Hennessy's line about "weapons grade gossip" was a definite keeper.

    Right - need to stock up on food while the rain holds off.

  40. i posted this drivel on WDYWTTA

    Stop Press!!

    Reports have reached our newsroom that a group of spindoctors armed to the teeth have taken the CiF moderators hostage and making them delete all posts that are not entirely on message at gunpoint.

  41. See it now your Grace - it's my eyesight that's going as well!

    Re independence - I share your position. I don't mind independence in the abstract and have a regard for the view of the Scott charcter (Meg Merrilees?) who said that London was too far off for fingernails to reach. But the SNP creep me out. The thought of the fish-eyed fattie ruling - yuck.

    Anyway, as someone observed, there are only two kinds of people in Britain -those who love air fresheners and those who
    hate them!

  42. ...................../"\...................
    ....................| ..|..................
    ............| ~ ~ ~ ~ |`...).........
    ................|.(( +==)) .|..............

    All the chat about classic and much admired posts reminded me of the above by greencustardflinger who posted it on a Mandelson thread way back in May

  43. ah, deano - that was a classic post and a classic moment on CiF.

  44. oops - 2nd post deleted on the GB thread. Clearly the graun don't like being accused of being the spineless mouthpiece for a discredited and despised establishment.

    Medve - if only you were right - but its much worse than that - the graun has bent the knee and totally sold out.

  45. Philippa, MsChin: thanks.

    deano: i was reading between the lines there ..

  46. Sheff: had reached somewhat similar conclusion myself.

  47. Take care gang, off to do a bit of building work. will check back later.

  48. Deano - I had just copied that post to paste on here but I see you have had the good sense to do it already. :o)

    Medve - I didn't spot your post. Has it been zapped already?

  49. sheff

    bent the knee and totally sold out

    Shall we defect to the Daily Torygraph?

    Back later, taxi duty calls.

  50. BB: i am in my building clothes already, but here is my bit of drivel.

    really going now ;)

  51. BB - it didn't last two minutes!!

    It's stopped raining must get the dogs out.

  52. Medve - saw it now.

    Deano - not surprised, but well done for doing it because at least some people will have seen it :o)

  53. deano,

    that post is a work of genius. It really is.

    turminder. I have the Alasdair Gray book. In fact I have everything by Gray. His last book 'Old Men in Love' was brilliant.

    There's a gaping hole in Scottish politics (as in England) for a true Social Democratic alternative. The one aspect the SNP play on is that they are not New Labour or Conservative.

    All the lefties in Scotland, Sheridan et al are cartoon parodies and there is a particular propensity for Judean Peoples Front/Peoples Front of Judea fall outs among the Scottish left.

    It could be time for my party- Action for Beer to fill the vacuum.

    BB, yourself and all UTers are welcome up here anytime.

  54. Your Grace

    But at least Scotland has a left wing to speak of. Unlike the New Labour eejits that just pretend to be.

  55. Action for Beer is very much needed ur Dukeship, the rate at which we are loosing beautiful old pubs is a crime.

    The SSP have kneecapped the scottish left for a decade, we're still reeling from the farce of their first terms.

    Independence and legalised ganja, I have a coffee shop open in a week...

    How does formatting and linking work on 'ere then?

  56. Well for formatting you have to use the b and /b> type thingy with the > < arrows, or i for italics, and i cheat on URL links by using a comment box as a scratch-pad to set them up, then copy and paste on here.

    dunno if this works though cos haven't tried before

  57. ah - quote /quote doesn't work. Ah well.

  58. Turminder

    As explained to me in their own words by fellow UTers last year, here's

    How to do hyper links:

    1. Insert the URL (web “address”) and the title you want to give it into this template.

    {a href= } {/a}

    2. It should look something like this

    {a href= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CO7FPU7a2g} Dread Zeppelin - Immigrant Song{/a}

    3. Then change { to < and } to > and paste it into the Post Comment box. When you click on preview, it will look like this

    Dread Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

    4. Post your comment

    5. Save the template somewhere, so you won’t have to keep bloody asking ;-)


    (a href=www.linkywinky.com)name of pointless link(/a)

    < instead of (
    > instead of )

  59. Using a cif box as a scratch pad seems to work just fine...

  60. Or should that be "Hoooooooooyih!

  61. Yr Grace/Turminder - I am now going to name drop quite disgracefully. I once met Alasdair Gray and James Kelman both at once at a fund raising gig in Glasgow back in the 90s.

  62. Turminder

    As you can see, I saved the hyperlink instructions, as requested in point 5!

    Blimey, in terms of moderation carnage, the GB thread is starting to resemble the TB thread which got Jay banned.

  63. Your Grace, Turminder (hi to you and Medve btw, glad to see you both), I only spoke once at any length to Alasdair Gray (he lives up just the road) and said something both pompous and wrong to him - he didn't correct me, just sort of smiled benignly, and passed - a gentleman as well as an artist and scholar damn him.

    But I don't agree with his world view or his interpretation of Scotland - indeed he comes perilously close to the exceptionalist view that Scots are somehow less racist than the English. Wish someone would persuade the local kids, who call anyone black nigger, anyone brown Paki, and any kid who looks different is a Mongol. I tried remonstrating with one of the dads and he hadn't a clue what i was on about; probably just as well.

    As for Sherry et al I can remember a well-known Scottish journalist saying how proud she was to be a member of a nation that had elected Tommy Sheridan - well that was a short lived joy.

    The collapse of the SSP is a reminder of the basic truth that none of us know anything - if just two years ago someone had said to me that Tommy Sheridan would be outpolled by the BNP in a Glasgow election I'd have laughed - I'm not laughing now!

    I see several people are predicting that the Tories may well take 10-11 seats in Scotland at the general election. Once I would have thought that bonkers, I don't now.

  64. BB Hey - Oooch!

    Given up on the GB thread, reckon, as others have said, looks like the hand of Baron Malfoy any way...

  65. "I see several people are predicting that the Tories may well take 10-11 seats in Scotland at the general election. Once I would have thought that bonkers, I don't now."


    My grandad would be turning in his grave if he hadn't been cremated, bless him.

  66. Sheff did you ever come across Tony Patten and the Laggan during the strike? They toured for months fundraising. What a gorgeous voice he had. I shared a flat with Tony for years.

  67. Cheers Edwin, 10-11 seats? Terrifying, Scottish Tories? I hate those guys!

  68. Sheff - you don't mean that Bitey attributed something to you that you hadn't said, do you?

    Blimey. That's never happened before has it? :o)

  69. Hah!

    One of our fave scenes from the Blues Bros in this house :o)

  70. Re: Norman Rockwell. I think some of his art is quite poignant. The image for today is "Freedom of Worship" from his Four Freedoms paintings, based on an FDR speech of the same name.

    As the Duke has already pointed out, The Problem We All Live With was a very powerful image. And then there's The Golden Rule, which is also a pretty powerful image, considering it was a time in American history when white Christians were the only people who seemed to matter for many (white Christians).

    (Do take note of the URL for the Four Freedoms poster, btw.)

  71. And yes, I've just realised that this is still a time when white Christians are the only people who matter to far too many white Americans, so the past tense was a bit silly.

  72. Sheff,

    I love Kelman as well. Was he as gruff and bad tempered as he seems to come across?

    What I particularly admire is his refusal to play the London publishing game. When his last book came out, he was awkward with the Guardian interviewer (refusing to play the luvvie game) and as a result didn't get a good review.

    And of course when 'How late it was, how late' won the Booker prize, Mr Establishment, Sir Simon Jenkins, stormed off the panel accusing the book of ''Literary vandalism'' due to its use of the Glaswegian vernacular. Hilarious.

    ''You have to be careful in the land of the free'' is a cracking insight into post 9/11 America.

    Edwin, dear old Alasdair Gray. I know what you mean about his outdated view of Scottish exceptionalism, especially in our globalised world. Scotland faces the same race issues as England, no doubt about it.

    However his literary canon is astonishing. Without wishing to indulge in hyperbole, ''Lanark'' is one of the greatest novels of the 20th Century. He's a national treasure, if an underappreciated one.

  73. BB your grandad must have done a fair bit of revolving above ground also as the Tories (with the aid of a few lesser allies) are actually the only party to have ever won a majority of the vote in Scotland - in the 1950s!

    My theory about their decline is that they killed themselves by persisting in putting up wacko candidates. But now they put up good candidates - look at the Guardian's video interview with the Springburn Tory, she wiped the floor with Harris (also look at the Sheridan interview and taste the bile). I heard the guy they are putting up for Salmond's Westminster seat - i think they'll take it.

  74. Edwin - Yes i have seen them but can't remember now whether it was in Scotland or NI. a man's a man...

    Yr Grace - Kelman was charming - he loved talking politics and was rather fond of a bunch of anarchists in Glasgow (they had the Solidarity Centre in town) that he gave quite a lot of support to.

    I found Alasdair Grey a teeny bit, how can I say it, not creepy but a bit strange. Think I'd just read 1982 Janine which I felt rather ambivalent about and that affected my view of him. Although I agree about Lanark. I also enjoyed Poor Things

  75. Montana many thanks for the Rockwell links.

    Your grace, Alasdair is a huge talent no doubt. A friend of mine (and of his) gave me a first edition of Lanark inscribed by him. I tried it and gave it to Oxfam alas alack, for when I tried it again I loved it.

    Not as awful as the story of the Scotsman guy who interviewed this single parent who'd published a daft kid's book about a wizard. At the interview ended, she pulled out a copy of the book and offered to sign it for him - he declined.

    Guess how much signed copies of that first printing go for now. . .

  76. Edwin - I've got a first edition hardback of Poor Things. It's beautiful and full of wondrous illustrations. Not signed though, sadly.

  77. Sheff many thanks for that link. Big Arthur used to host some great nights at the Star Club - I missed the night alas when Jimmy Reid was chased down the stairs by a wrathful folkie after Reid joined the Labour Party (and began writing a column for the Sun!!!)

    Alasdair has written some Stuff I can't read either. I go with KIngsley Amis on this one, porn without laughs becomes a bit tedious and Alasdair - talented as he is - doesn't have a light hand with it (so to speak!).

  78. Sheff,

    interesting anecdote. Makes me like Kelman even more.

    Edwin, I believe ''d'oh!'' is the phrase you are looking for re the the first signed edition of Lanark.

  79. I'd love to have seen that. I never really understood what came over Jimmy Reid. Were his original firebrand values overcome by ambition do you think?

  80. Edwin - it was rather grim I agree - so when meeting him for the first (and only) time putting the images and mood he'd conjured up in Janine, together with the man in front of me was a bit disconcerting.

  81. I have a major soft spot for Jimmy Reid as my Grandad was involved in the famous UCS ''work in'' headed by Jimmy in 1971.

    As he famously said:

    "We are not going to strike. We are not even having a sit in strike. Nobody and nothing will come in and nothing will go out without our permission. And there will be no hooliganism, there will be no vandalism, there will be no bevvying because the world is watching us."

    Interestingly John Lennon gave 5 grand to the UCS men.

  82. My favourite Jimmy Reid yarn (actually its his mam that stars):

    Way back in the great depression of the 1930's the middle classes were well disposed to assisting their sisters in the working classes...

    Old Ma Reid attended a lecture/demonstration by a body akin to Women's Institute - the topic "101 ways to make a nourishing meal from fish heads" Ma Reid sits patiently, listening carefully, for an hour so...

    The lecture ends with the lady inviting questions from the floor - up pops Ma Reid. " yea I gotta a question, never mind the feggin fish heads - who ate the rest of the fish?"

  83. Yr Grace - That was his best and greatest moment and I'll always admire him for that. I remember the huge furore it caused. Talk about the red menace was all over the tabloids and they went bonkers. I think it was down hill after that and he was accused of selling out, which is probably a bit unfair in retrospect but felt true at the time.

  84. Sheff,

    it was before my time (not intentionally wanting you to feel old!) but my Grandad spun some great yarns about it and it's an area of social history close to my heart.

  85. I have a Jimmy Reid story. I worked on a magazine in the early 80s that carried an interview with a famous actor who made a comment about JR that was harmless enough but could have been seen as sarky. By an odd coincidence I had to phone JR about something on the day the mag published, and I cringingly expressed my regret if he found the quip about him disrespectful and he laughed his head off - wasn't bothered at all.

    He's in the SNP now of course but rarely surfaces in the media. Lots of people see him as a lost leader but when he left the CP his cred went across the board really.

    I recall an account of his meeting with Heath, when Heath - in what he thought was an enticing manner - opened the drinks cabinet and JR told him to close it. And he gave a marvellous appearance on Parkinson (with i think Bobby Charlton).

  86. Meant to add it was a grand not 5 grand that Lennon sent. Still a considerable amount of money for those days.

    According to my Grandad he sent a hand written note with the money essentially saying ''fight the power'' with he and Yoko's best wishes.

  87. According to the news GB has just spoken and pitched himself as a class warrior!! Am I going mad? Or did I really hear that?

  88. deano/Edwin, great anecdotes.

    Edwin, he appeared on Parkinson? I'd love to track that down.

    Anyway, I'm off to the pub. Haven't had a drink since New Year and although I didn't want to drink until Burns night, my attendance at an emergency post mortem into Celtic's latest dreadful performance is required by my season ticket carrying mates.

    Have a good evening all!

  89. I'm begging your collective wisdom.
    How long does pre- mod last?
    How likely is a complete ban, if I keep posting in the meantime?

  90. freespeachoneeach2 - how long is a piece of string?

    I'm no expert and I'm sure someone with experience'knowledge will be along soon with advice.

    From what little I know (have read here) it seems to a movable feast depending entirely on how badly you got up someone's nose and whose nose it was...

    best of luck friend

  91. Hi freespeech

    Not having been in pre-mod, I'm not sure, but it seems to be an arbitrary thing. Bitterweed's been in pre-mod for months, I believe, but others seem to get back in a couple of days.

  92. Okay, so I now learn I'm not pre- modded, but banned altogether. "Commenting priviledges on this account have been disabled."
    Guess I need a new email address then!

  93. freespeechoneeach

    Bitterweed has been in premod for months, sadly. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason behind it.

    You could try being a good boy for a week or two then emailing the mods and asking them how long your Cif "tagging" is going to last? Just a suggestion.

  94. freespeech

    Banned now? Flippin' 'eck.

    You could still try the appeal to mods tactic, as BB says, but with no guarantee of success. Best route back is as you've said, I think.

  95. I hope you've learned your lesson freespeech:
    "I must not be rude about Gordon Brown
    I must not be rude about Gordon Brown
    I must not be rude about Gordon Brown"

    Seriously, though, when Jay got banned it was for calling Blair a cnut. There are seriously some things that the Graun will just not put up with, and that is anything rude about any New Lab grandees. Comment is Free my buttocks.

  96. Thanks, all.
    It's really very annoying. All I did was write why Labour can't claim to have been "fair."
    I wasn't remotely abusive. Everything was based on real policies and real outcomes.

    Been emailing community.suggestions@ guardian.co.uk all day asking for clarification. I've sent them some quotes from the thread which really are foul- mouthed and abusive. So far, I've been rewarded by silence.

    Not kind, and not fair.

  97. If you value your moniker, and it is widely recognised as yours is, ...I would try BB's suggestion first. Don't wait though, simply write and ask what is going on and when your normal status will be renewed.

    If you have not had a warning point out the breech of the rules of natural justice.

    If no reply wait a day or so and then write again...As Chin says you always have a fall-back

    Best W

  98. I notice, too, that "this comment awaits pre- moderation" really means "this comment has been deleted."

  99. Freespeech - as you may, or may not, know the mods read the Untrusted thread.....

    Saturday is not likely to be a day when the heavyweight mods are at work so hang on in there with your emailing.

  100. Freespeechoneeach, what a travesty,your posts are always considered, relevant and I've never seen you be nasty to anyone..

    Compassion is fucked, indeed..

  101. Seriously, though, when Jay got banned it was for calling Blair a cnut.

    Aw c'mon, BB. Call a cunt a cunt. You start doing stuff like that, all the UT haters over on Cif will think we're going soft.

  102. Thanks to all again. I'm really grateful for the support.
    I really do try to be courteous and rational, even with people I deeply dislike. It's good to know that's been noticed, turminder!
    And I do know I'm in the wrong quite a lot, and I do apologise when I am.
    Cath Elliott got an apology from me: I was suffering a bad sense of humour failure last year, but I said so at New Years' and she graciously accepted my grovel. (Hi Cath- hope all's well with you...)

    So- I'm hoping Siobhan Butterworth is worth her butter and can explain what I did wrong this morning!

    (And bloomin Leeds United go and lose too! What a stinky day! Must go and play some drums!)

  103. Soz Montana

    I just - well.. I am not very good at the C word unless I am in a screamingly bad mood, then it just kind of comes out of my fingers all on its own.

    I know I am a wuss! :o)

  104. So, if I have to assume a new identity, it wouldn't be so bad I suppose. I could try a new screen name. Here are a few possibles, for the benefit of all the mods who are watching....
    (That's from Mary Poppins, where Mrs Banks gaily declares she's "off to throw things at the Prime Minister!")
    but I think my favourite so far is


    Okay. I hear ya. Shutupandbangthedrums.

  105. Oh let' take a collective approach to the problem. I could use BB's ration of the word cunt.

    Blair Tony is a half baked cunt...

    Tony Blair wouldn't recognise a cunt if one ran him over on six wheels...

    Blair is a double twat as well as being a cunt....

    Blairess is a cunt on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and Tony takes over for the rest of the week.

    I'm no wuss.

  106. @freespeech


    @Deano30, I'm finding your comparisons offensive to cunts ; )

  107. Deano

    You're very imaginative Deano - so perhaps you could find a part of the male anatomy to use as a term of abuse (say I in a po faced kind of way) :-))

    I've always wondered why so many men, who allegedly find cunts so irresistible and delicious, insist on using the word for them as a term of abuse.

  108. :-))) turminder:
    I also thought of

    Roy Harper. A true hero.

  109. freespeechoneeach2

    This won't help if you are attached to your name in the other place but you might find it is actually something of a relief to be rid of it, once you make the decision.

    A friend of mine years ago taught all over the world and said that he liked to adopt a new persona each time he arrived in a new country.

    I change my CiF persona so regularly now that I can scarcely remember who I am most of the time.

    Good luck with trying to have any kind of meaningful exchange with the moderators, though.

    I think most of them are the ones who failed the burger-flipping test.

  110. I'd rather call someone a Bush than a c**t.

    But "banker" has to be the worst of all.

  111. Atomboy,
    I've liked all the posts of yours I've seen. I'll bet I liked them in your previous incarnations too.
    Do you have a theme to your names, or are they a jumble/ mishmash? Perhaps a theme might help me remember who I'm meant to be at any one time. Yeah, another Harper- inspired name might be just the job for me.

    I'm loving this replay of RadioActive, in case you're into it...

  112. When I was about 11, I was told by a family friend that a new series was starting on R4 that I would enjoy. It was series 2 of THHGTTG, the same 'uncle' lent me tapes of series1, I was hooked, I also had a brief hobby of building plastic model kits. One day I put the glue down on top of my clock radio, and it dribbled over the tunin dial, locking it to R4! Think that explains a lot about my subsequent development..

    30 years later it's still my primary source of news, education & entertainment. Used to love Week Ending et al

    At Freespeech, 1manRocknRollBand, what a peach!

    At AtomBoy '..the man that many lives doth lead, many deaths must die..'

  113. freespeechoneeach2

    I think I spent some time pondering a couple of times but after that, if a name came to mind, I just created an email account and got going.

    When it became apparent that CiF is little more than the propaganda channel for New Labour, my contributions became mere refutations of the propaganda du jour.

    Words only take you so far anyway.

    At some point you are going to have to smash a brick into a politician's face.

  114. May your prostate shrivel you wanker Blair

    Blair walks as he talks - through a strangulated prostate...that's one frustrated blank firing tosser..

    Sheff - it's absurd isn't it. I think it's something to do with the hierarchy of swear words. It's not a commonly used cuss in my circle but the need to have a word that shocks the children and the horses runs deep..

    Sex is a wonderful delight but it also proves that if God exists herm has a sense of humour - it really is a demonstration of a crazy state of affairs...it would have been more convenient if it was all about holding hands. Then if you slept in you could do it on the bus on the way to work.

  115. turminderxuss

    I try to practice with the petits morts.

  116. But "banker" has to be the worst of all.

    blanker is quite cutting....

    " yo Blanker Blair .....your going to have to have your cock reamed..".

    Had the Kop been persuaded to sing that every Saturday then who knows the politics of the late Twentieth Century might have been different.

  117. Philippa, that is a cracking post by imasmadashell, thanks!

    Freespeech - sorry to hear of your banning. From Jay's experience, I understand that a bit of grovelling to the mods works wonders, but I don't think you have the right e-mail address.

    My mother wants to come and visit.

  118. Tune 'cos I'm in the mood for revival

  119. MsChin - coincidentally enough, I think I posted this one a few weeks ago....

  120. thauma

    Yes, you did - I'd forgotten about the Idol version, I just love the mercy riddim of the reggae ones.

  121. "Sex is a wonderful delight but it also proves that if God exists herm has a sense of humour - it really is a demonstration of a crazy state of affairs...it would have been more convenient if it was all about holding hands. Then if you slept in you could do it on the bus on the way to work."

    Don't be silly deano...sex wouldn't be the same if it wasn't preposterous, inconvenient and could be done with clothes on...in fact..human anatomy being what it is..I wouldn't have it any other way..and I speak as someone who's done it on the top deck of a bus...a night bus..the N53 to Plumstead..even got a congratulatory wink from the driver as we got off.

  122. Here's another one from the same bloke covering another song from (I think) approx the same era.

  123. Mind you...I wouldn't advise it these days...it'd be all over you tube within minutes

  124. "The man who fucked his kebab on a bus"

  125. Only kidding...it wasn't a kebab...it was my then girlfriend's sister...and it was a very bad idea...for months afterwards..indeed it still is/was...and my kebab was cold by the time I got around to eating it.

  126. It may surprise you to know I've just got hold of some really nice weed.

  127. MF - ha ha, well done, mate! Beautiful sentiments.

    sex wouldn't be the same if it wasn't preposterous, inconvenient and could be done with clothes on

  128. Ooh, wait, I hadn't read the 'sister' part when I posted my last ... not quite so beautiful a sentiment. ;-)

  129. Indeed, MsChin, and about as licentious as you can get wearing the male equivalent of the burqa. ;-)

    If we're doing Motown, then you could have told me yourself.

  130. thauma

    Since you are doing classic golden oldies this was one of my faves

  131. Ooh, MsChin, that song has a very fine rhythm section, but the lyrics seem a bit "I just want your money".

  132. Sheff - that's one of my all-time favourites. The 'rape - murder' part sends chills down my spine every time.

  133. MF

    Good weed? I'd never have guessed. :o)

    Shagging gf's sisters is always a bad idea, though. Bus or no. Heheh.

  134. Yeah..it was too good..smoked it about half seven and I'm still wrecked and it's not even skunk..which I've given up.

    Problem is..I went out..don't like smoking in the house..got half way through..realised I was seriously fucked...put it out..went to my 'local'..not exactly local as there are seven pubs within 200 yards...got barred..'forever' this time when I told the guvnor's wife she was looking a bit too much like Charles Bronson just lately...had a big row about how long I was taking to finish my pint..went to the next one...got handed the Guardian Review by Radical Ron who told me I just had to read the piece by Naomi Kline...who I've always regarded as a Chomskylite attention seeker..this bit was about how Obama is a superbrand etc. since she seems obsessed with bringing branding into every sphere of political discourse..like we're gonna think: "yeah, 'No Logo' was a seminal piece of philosophy and henceforth we should view all social interaction through the prism of corporate branding and btw Naomi Kline's a friggin genius"..which she pure ain't...not that it wasn't a good read etc but she seems to be branding herself as the anti-branding guru and we should all wise up despite the fact that some..a lot of people, in fact are totally immune to the whole advertising schtick and didn't need her to come along and educate us etc...and I gave it back and said 'so?'..which quite offends Ron who I like and so he comes out and shares the remainder of the spliff and immediately falls over and bangs his head which starts to bleed and when we go back in I'm getting dirty looks and I'm saying "he fell over" but Ron can't vouch for this cos he's totally fucked and no doubt noticing a a particularly meaningful weave in the curtain fabric that he's never noticed before and just dripping blood...

    So I go home..and I'm watching All Star Mr And Mrs..and it turns out Gary Linneker's favourite band is Coldplay..and I don't know whether to laugh or cry or shout: "I bloody knew they would be"...and then I can't decide if Alan Hansen likes Willie Nelson or the Skids..so I nip up and post the bus thing..then nip down again and my daughter's watching Bridget Jones' Diary and when I try to turn over she tells me: "I'm watching that..it's really good" and I'm wondering if she's mine after all.

    Btw Thaum..it was a shit thing to do re. the sister but rest assured I paid for it a thousand times over...which the sister didn't...a few tearful apologies and wine soaked hugs and "yeah..he's just a cunt" seemed to settle it on that front after which they teamed up to lay all of it at my door even though I was GENUINELY the innocent party. And that's why..even after a lifetime of regarding "you've gotta try this..it's the best weed ever" speeches have left you deeply cynical and disappointed...THIS TIME IT MIGHT JUST BE TRUE!

  135. Sheff - brief anecdote re: "the C-bomb"

    Was in the pub, before a gig, with a mate. She's quite striking, got hit on. Said 'thank you, no' very politely, went back to our chat. He persisted. Possible beer / mates egging him on interface. Anyway, he wouldn't leave it alone, so eventually she told him to do one, she just wasn't interested.

    He finally gets the message, slouches off, muttering, rather loudly "fucking dyke"

    So she calls after him, "then why don't I find you attractive?"

    He, flummoxed, says "what?"

    "Because you look like a cunt"

    Cue us legging it out of the pub, while his mates (who are killing themselves laughing) hold him back from trying to run after us.

    Not a particularly edifying anecdote, perhaps, but the best use of the word I've ever come across.

    Good gig too.

  136. thauma

    Too true.

    Here's something
    from one of my fave ever albums

  137. Thauma - here's another one that calls up warm memories of a particularly good night back in the day

    such a night

  138. Plus, this version of that song actually my preferred one, Sheff!


  139. MF - excellent rant! - you should get Tom Waits to put a tune to it!

  140. MF - fuckin' hell, that's some good stuff, mate. I expect you can get un-banned if you go back all apologetic, like. Bit like Cif.

    Phil - great story!

    Right, catching up on the choonz now....

  141. MF

    Perhaps the landlady might have preferred a toke?

  142. Phillipa

    When I was in Glesga I had to get used to cunt being used all the time - quite often as a term of approbation as in "he's a cunt of a fitba' player". But if you called a woman a 'cow' you took your life in your hands.

    Heres a more recent fave

  143. Just catching up on the 'tobogganing coppers' thread and some poor soul has decided to have a go at speedkermit. they clearly don't know about his fine line in comebacks:
    "Only an imbecile would have taken that seriously. You are starting to come across like one of those poor souls who have fights with imaginary pigeons in bus stations"

  144. MsChin - think I need some acid to properly appreciate that! In some strange way that only my synapses understand, it reminded me of The Great Event.

    Sheff - the Dr. John is currently tickling my rhythm section soul!

  145. It's the Leith full stop. Fuck/fuckin is the comma. e.g.

    here's another one that calls up warm memories of a particularly good night back in the day

    here's another f'kin one that calls up warm f'kin memories of a particularly f'kin good night back in the f'kin day, ya cunt.

  146. Thauma

    Don't mention acid - It might make me root out some King Crimson!

  147. No idea what the Raging Bull link is, but this is great - saw her at ATP a few years back, the backline went, so she and the percussionist just starting making stuff up, and it was awesome...


  148. Sheff,

    I'll back you up there. Cunt is used as a verb, noun, adverb, the lot. In fact one of the all time great Scottish swearwords uses both the male and female parts of the anatomy and is normally reserved for someone you dislike:


  149. Turminder rofl! - that doesn't half take me back...mainly to a little pool hall above the Scotia.

    Thinking about sleep now so here's one to wind me down

  150. sheff

    Ooo, King Crimson. Here's a link

  151. Philippa - can't quite agree with you on the Sisters of Mercy version: it's interesting, but it's a drum machine and no decent rhythm section. I like a good bottom end, me.

    I do like your Led Zep selection, though: excellent post-breakup choon!

    Great speedkermit repartee!

  152. Yr Grace - cuntybaws yes! haven't heard that in years...oh how I miss the dear green place.

  153. probably shouldn't be chuckling at this, but there you go...


  154. which takes me on to some zydeco - well sleeps fucked now!

  155. Right, can't keep up, must be off to bed!

    Sheff - tried to find Dylan's Dark Eyes for you, but the only version I saw was a rather awful live one with Patti Smith.

    So instead I tell you it's all over now.

  156. thauma - no need to be polite pet, i know full well what many of my nearest and dearest think of my favourite band!

    it kicks arse live, though.

    their covers have always been bloody funny - Jolene? Gimme Gimme Gimme (a man after midnight)? and, my favourite ever, which had lots of very cool goths at Brixton academy dancing, coolly, then thinking 'hang on, i recognise this', and then realising the horror, the horror that they were dancing to this

    rider rider - haven't actually heard the version attached yet as it needs to buffer - it was good when i heard it honest - rider ends

  157. Right, can't keep up, must be off to bed!

    Me an' all, thauma.

    Night folks.

  158. Brilliant Pip! Reminds me of;

    'Doan matter how 'new age' you git, Old age gonna kick yo ass..'

    Utah Phillips a god

  159. Yup, that is actually pretty terrible, but you get the idea.

  160. turminder - there's a band called heartless bastards who i saw last year, and when picking a cd to buy - from the singer who was staffing the merch stand - i asked 'which one has the got old song on? that was my favourite...'


    their versions is great, though

  161. OK, I really am going to bed now ... but am inspired by Philippa to post this.

  162. oh, thauma, that's brilliant!

  163. NN all, RT, Roy Harper, shit, I love you guys...

  164. turminderxuss said...
    "It's the Leith full stop. Fuck/fuckin is the comma. e.g"

    Class turminder - LOL.

    Possibility of some sun around here tomorrow. It seem weeks since I saw the sun so an early night for me.

    Night all.

  165. Just to round off the earlier rude theme, here is a pearl from imogenblack posted on the previous WDYWTTA which had been left open accidentally apparently:

    15 Jan 2010, 11:53AM

    Gosh... has Cif gone home for the weekend early..? How come this is still open... ooo... naughty... its like being home alone... if no ones watching... can I say cunts?? Cunts cunts cunts...

    6 recommends

  166. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jan/11/you-tell-us?showallcomments=true#CommentKey:da4e9ffb-76cd-484a-9bca-cd3b845fd5b4