28 May 2009

Who's Next? It's Parliament, Jim, but not as we know it.

We might as well all have a bit of fun while the tumbrels roll majestically and inexorably from Westminster towards Madame La Guillotine, and further to the Tower where heads will be displayed on pikes as in the good old days of the Mother of Parliaments. Here are the challenges for all politically-savvy refugees:

How many MP's will not re-stand for election as a direct result of the current expenses kerfuffle? Any excuses such as 'more time with my family' and 'health problems' will be ruthlessly discounted. If someone has nicked a fiver from the petty cash for some tampons, this will be taken as conclusive evidence of being a thieving bastard and will outweigh all other considerations.

Predict the next casualty before the Torygraph prints his/her own very personal and specific financial indiscretions. (And there are still about 400 MP's to go, so everyone can be a winner! ) Extra points for predicting surreal claims such as horse manure and duck-chalets.

Some distinguished hand-in-the-till casualties so far: Kirkbride, Moran, Steen, Vickers, Hogg, Morley, Chaytor, Chapman, Malik, Martin, MacKay, Sir Nicholas and Ann Winterton. I'm sure I've missed a few, but not to worry, there will be many, many more.

Good luck!