01 October 2010


Dancers in Pink - Edgar Degas
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
-Jack Handey


  1. Seem to be stuck in humour mode this week. Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey is semi-legendary here. Used to be on Saturday Night Live.

    Concerning the spam folder:

    No, unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about it. Blogger has pretty much no tech support, which is one of the reasons I was thinking about migrating us to WordPress -- the main one, actually. What they have is a sight where you can leave a question, but the questions never seem to get answered by Blogger people -- you just end up in a discussion with other people with Blogger blogs who are having the same or similar issues.

    All I can do is remind/request that the admins in the UK check the spam bin from time to time. I try to check it every time I come here, but since I'm 6 hours behind most of you, that's somewhat useless.

    Assembly line work:

    I've never done it, myself, but there's a plant here that makes commercial coffee makers for restaurants, etc. Some of the women that I graduated with have been working there since the day we got out of school. Can't imagine assembling coffee makers for 30 years, with little to no chance for promotion. It's a non-union plant, by the way.


    My son is fine now. Thanks for asking. We've had a weird bug going around our schools -- nausea and vomitting, but no fever.

    We had the day off Thursday because of a "professional development" day for the teachers and tomorrow is a 2 hour early dismissal because of Homecoming, so it's been a short work-week for me. Nice in some ways, but it won't feel so good on pay day.

    Have a great Friday, everyone!

  2. What they have is a sight where you can leave a question,

    What the hell? Did I really type that?

    Oh dear.

  3. Simon Jenkins talking sense on Today. Blimey.

  4. My first full time job was in a car seat factory, in Handsworth. It was fucking grim, I worked 'trimming' which was using scisors to cut the flash from foam seats, hot from the moulds. They came thru a hole in the wall, and would build up into a big pile if you went to the loo. After a while I'd use my wrist watch to estimate how many cusions were coming thru an hour, then add up how many shifts I'd done to work out how many seats I'd trimmed to that day, then what number the next seat was. Blisters, cut hands, the chemical smells, it was a shit job, and put me off factory work for life.

    My job is finishing in 4 weeks. Nothing on the horizon. Might have to move as I don't see how I'm gonna sustain my present situation...

    Heard some disturbing news about friend's sisters's children. They have a stalker on facebook. The situation has escalated to anonymous threatening letters, the most recent containg photographs of the child (a 14 y.o girl) A local man has shouted at the children, calling them, 'wee hoors' when he's seen them out in their glad rags. Now this fellow has a 'record' of sexually harrasing a young work colleaugue. But is he the cyber stalker? I fear that the plod (who have been involved for 3-4 weeks)will not do any thing before a) the girls are harmed, or b) there is some vigillantte action with the neighbour... Grim.

  5. The new Govt in the Netherlands is about to be sworn in and boy do we have a nauseating set of measures to look forward to.

    Under the Orwellian banner Vrijheid en verantwoordelijkheid (Freedom and repsonsibility), the new administration has lots of new plans including:


    * Ban on the burqa and other face-covering garments
    * Headscarf ban for police and justice ministry officials
    * Integration tests to be made more difficult
    * List of dangerous countries for automatic refugee status to be scrapped

    Economy and welfare

    * PFI to be encouraged
    * Childcare and healthcare subsidies to be cut
    * Pension age raised
    * Childcare and healthcare subsidies cut (this includes removing the contraceptive pill from health cover)
    * Student grants to be reduced from four to three years

    Foreign Policy

    * Stronger ties with Israel
    * NATO missions to be paid for from scrapped overseas aid budget
    * New generation fighter jets to be bought.

    Other measures

    * Crackdown on cannabis cafes- now to be members only clubs with id schemes.
    * Public service broadcasting to be slashed.\
    * Parents to be made financially responsible for making sure their children speak Dutch properly. Whatever the fuck that means.

    I'm afraid the Dutch image of tolerance and co-operation is just that. An image.

    One of the most insidious measures is the removal of the pill from health care cover and childcare costs being slashed- indicative of that right wing, paternal "women should know their place" attitude of swivel eyed male politicians in their 50's.

    It's a depressing day but the word is, is that this accord and Govt is on extremely shaky ground and there's a real shitstorm brewing when these measures are finally implemented.

  6. And analysis of economic policies and taxation estimate that earners over €50,000 will not be adversely affected by tax, childcare and health changes.

    Everyone under €50k will.


    sorry to hear that. I hope everything turns out well.

  7. That is a nightmarish platform.

  8. Ach, 13th just wait n see on all fronts. Sounds bad o'er the water, just waiting for "work = freedom" to be unveiled as the new slogan for ATOS+JCP : (

  9. thauma,

    it is indeed. I forgot to mention that the minimum wage and basic benefits are also being reduced.

    The only silver lining in this pile of steaming swivel eyed crap is that the smoking ban on small bars and cafes has been reversed.

    As for the burqa- an internal survey found that approx 250 women in the Netherlands wear the burqa.

    There's already been widespread condemnation of the agenda from the Unions and opposition parties and the coalition is on very thin ice politically so interesting times are coming.

  10. That sounds shit turminder; I'm sure you'll get something though, person of your calibre.

    Did you see the Eye this week ?

    Two separate articles on 180 degree reversals pre-election pledges from both Clegg and Cameron's lot.

    One - about UKBA detention of kids (they said they'd stop it, but it continues apace), and PFI - the Libs and at least one Tory said they'd kick it into touch, but now, just like New Labour, they're are arguing that it's the "only game in town".

    The best bit ? PFIcos are now offering authorities significant "repayment holidays". Ahh. Look at the nice loan shark, isn't he nice saying he'll waith til next week for his HUNDRED AND FIFTY PERCENT VIG.


  11. The only silver lining in this pile of steaming swivel eyed crap is that the smoking ban on small bars and cafes has been reversed.


    A small glimmer of sanity in an ocean of shite.

  12. Good luck to you, Turm, and to your friend's sister.

  13. Turm
    I assume they've switched off the FB account ?

  14. more complex than that BW, the polis want to monitor the situation, the stalker is using an alias, and has even set up a 'clone' FB acc in the childs name... Also apparently using some thing like TOR, to mask their IP address..

    Horrible stuff, the stalker posted 'five days' then the next day 'four days to go', then 'Threedays to go, not long now..' Then 'Two days to go... to the worst day of your life!' Nothing happened on zero day, but imaging an envelope with 30-40 photos of the child (your child) coming thru the door, these aren't photos from FB, they have been taken in lots of different situations, or perhaps nicked from their legitimate owners? I'll let you know when I hear any more...

  15. That's really scary, Turm, hope they catch the bastard.

  16. I hope the polis get the real culprit, before some wild west (of Scotland) justice is meeted out to the wrong person : (

  17. Turminder

    Sounds grim Hope the sick bastard is caught soon.

    Regarding the job front a lot of positions are filled as a result of 'word of mouth'.Make sure you tell all and sundry you're looking for work cos you never know something may turn up that way.All the best!

  18. Cheers guys, will let you all know how things pan out..

    The 'stalker' could just be a daft laddie from the school, or a genuine danger, that's part of what's so shit.

  19. turminderxuss
    That is pretty horrible. I hope the rozzers get it sorted. I suggest you probably don't post any more about that here though; you know what some people are like in the internet zone.

  20. Vicious right wing politics, a stalker and job loss - Montana has no sick pay (why not) - factory conditions to delight the heart of a victorian industrialist.

    Welcome to the 21st century.

    Hi Folks - love to all in the midst of the gloom.

  21. Turm

    Thats awful. I hope it gets sorted quickly and good luck with job hunting too.


    If you're around drop me an email about tomorrow. Ta chuck. I thought i had a tel no for you but i seem to have mislaid it.

  22. Hello Sheff: did you get my mail? Give me a ring about tommorrow.

  23. chekh; deano - here's this also.

  24. Yippee it's Friday at last and tomorrow I will be in Northampton watching various UTers get might pissed.


    I thought Simon Jenkins was a patronising ignorant twunt on Today this morning.

  25. um, that should read 'mightily pissed', of course ...

  26. I shall remain decorous throughout MsC.....it's thauma you have to watch out for!

  27. Ah feck - just typed a long post then somehow the blogger "couldn't perform" the task, or something. So here's the highlights

    Wish I was coming tomorrow but can't cos I got too much work, but I will deffo come to Leam in November and book the bloody time off if necessary

    Holland - breaks my heart to read that.

    Turm - I can understand why the polis want to keep it going, so they can build a solid case. Hope the girls are safe, though, and managing to cope.

    Everyone else - evening and hugs xx

  28. To lighten the mood - just had these sent - signs in english from hotels, airports etc from around the world...

    Tokyo, Car Rental:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

    Yugoslavia, Hotel
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

    Japan, Hotel:
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    Russia, Hotel:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.

    Bangkok, Temple:
    It is forbidden to enter a woman even if a foreigner if dressed as a man

    Rome, Doctor surgery:
    Specialist in women and other diseases.

    Switzerland, Restaurant menu:
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

    Bangkok, Dry cleaners:
    Drop your trousers here for best results.

    ....made me larf anyway.

  29. LOL Sheff!

    The funniest translation I saw in real life was the description for use on a packet of nipple pads used by women who are breast-feeding.

    In French it made sense : Felicitations, vous avez choisi de nourrir votre enfant! (nourrir meaning literally "nourish" but, in terms of "enfants", it means to breast-feed.)

    The English translation: Congratulations, you have decided to feed your baby!

  30. Do you know the engrish.com website?

    It is always good for a laugh, despite the slightly dodgy title...

  31. Friday night and everyone's ... not here.

  32. MsChin + Shaz

    i am here too - reading and listen to gentle music.

  33. Hope everyone has a great time tomorrow.Can't make it,alas,some serious stuff going on prevents me.Photos please!

  34. Hi, mschin - the racist smeg ridden tosser is here too.

  35. Evening all

    who's this racist smeg ridden tosser then Hank?

    chekhov has arrived at mine enroute to the party and is now full of beer and takeaway curry.

    Shame you can't make tomorrow Alisdair - I promise you photos though...

  36. Evening MsChin, Leni, Alisdair...
    Having sleepy evening after two very late nights at work doing 11+ appeals... sadly have no wine and am certainly too lazy to go & get some.
    Would like to second Alisdair's good wishes for tomorrow's gathering.

  37. It's me, sheff.

    My name is Hank. And I'm a racist.

  38. Hi Sheff, chekhov and Hank

    hope you have good time tomorrow - pics obligatory.

  39. Alisdair

    hope all is well with Mrs. A and baby

  40. First I heard of it Hank. Are you gracing us with your presence tomorrow? PBrax will be disappointed if you don't.

  41. Hank
    Get your ass down to cobblers town tomorrow.

  42. Blimey, I got hijacked by the other half nattering on about why the dog licence should be brought back ...

    Hello folks.

  43. I've spoken to Hank. I don't know if my opinion counts for owt, but he sounds like a pretty good bloke to me. And I've been as twatty to him as any.

  44. Enjoy the get together tomorrow, everyone, those of us who cant make it will them selves accursed. :-)

  45. will "think" themselves accursed (sorry)

  46. Habib

    Is it that you can't come or that you won't?

  47. Racism is in the eye of the beholden, sheff. Having said that, I did call habib a paki when, in extremis, I got a bit pissed off with him stalking my every comment. There's no excuse for it even so.

    So, all things considered, I am obviously a racist and, as a result, I don't have the right credentials to turn up to BW's party tomorrow.

    I've spoken to Habib since and, to be fair, he's accepted my half-arsed apology.

    Paul, OTOH, isn't able to do so, which is why he plays the race card everytime I criticise him for his shallow subservience whenever he gets acknowledged by the middle class twats he sucks up to on waddya.

    I fucking despair of the identity politics that the Guardian has done so much to spread.

    I really fucking despair of it.

  48. "I've spoken to Hank. I don't know if my opinion counts for owt, but he sounds like a pretty good bloke to me."

    You want to try getting shedded with the guy. Proper soul boy.

  49. Best wishes for tomorrow, everyone who's going. I'm there in spirit.

    Meanwhile, some fascinating colour pictures from the Great War in this gallery from the Telegraph.

  50. Hank

    Stop bloody despairing and come and spend an evening with some friends. There's no excuse - you can practically walk there from where you are.

  51. Come on sheff, it's a bloody long walk down the M1 from hank's neck of the woods!

    To everyone who can't get there tomorrow - we'll no doubt raise a glass to absent friends.

  52. "Is it that you can't come or that you won't?"
    Sheff, the chance to meet Bracken would drag me from any great slumber.

    I really can't, sorry.

  53. Hank

    Paul, OTOH, isn't able to do so, which is why he plays the race card everytime I criticise him for his shallow subservience whenever he gets acknowledged by the middle class twats he sucks up to on waddya.

    What? i,ve never played the race card with you.And despite you behaving like a cunt the other night i actually said to Habib that i didn.t think you were a racist.It's all still there if you care to check.And as far as your comment about waddya goes you're talking out of your arse.

    Stop behaving like a twat and go and get pissed with everyone tomorrow.Oh and here's a TUNE for you to enjoy.

  54. @habib - thanks for your comment above. We have spoken and I'm grateful for your acknowledgement of the fact.

    I won't be there at BW's do tomorrow but hope to see you and others at thauma's or in sheffield.

    To those who are off to Northampton


  55. Sorry you'll not be there Habib. will raise a glass to you.

    Right, thats me for the night. Need all the sleep I can get to prepare for tomorrow!

  56. "It's all still there to check."

    You've deleted at least three of your posts, and one of the posts that remains refers to me as a "racist smeg ridden tosser".

    It doesn't matter to me, Paul. I care about what some people on here think about me, and I'm glad that habib and me got in touch and cleared the air.

    But I don't care about some people's opinions on here.

  57. Hi All

    Just finished splitting and stacking a cord of firewood. Not used to that worky thing anymore. That lovely sound you now hear is the pulltab on my first Stella of the day.

    Hank--Have you tried the full arsed apology?

    To all at the meetup, have a great time and give us some scandalous pics. Sounds like chekhov has a head start.

    Some easy blues

  58. hank - we still have the vinyl version of that round ours!

    I'm following sheff's example and getting some kip. I'll leave you folk to party on. Night.

  59. @Boudican - heh heh, I've gone as far as I'm prepared to go.

  60. Hank

    You fucking liar.When you're sober check the posts again and you'll see that i was calling Martyn a 'racist smeg ridden tosser' not you.And i've never deleted any posts directed at you.It's all in your head.

    Anyway you think what you like cos i'm past caring.You're just making this up as you go along and you know what i ain't gonna bite anymore.And btw you didn't apologize to me for behaving like a shit the other night so please don't make out you did.Tosser!

  61. Bloody hell, I drive all the way from Newcastle Upon Tyne to Sheffield for some stimulating conversation and Sheff's gone to bed already!
    Still, nice to be back home for a while.
    Look forward to meeting all those brave enough for the bunfight in Northampton tommorrow.

  62. @chekhov - plenty of stimulating conversation on here.

    That is, of course, if Paul's got the guts to respond to my post at 22.58.

  63. Habib

    Sorry i fucked up the last couple of posts.Decided also to delete earlier post as i'm not going to give that racist smeg ridden tosser the satisfaction.Methinks there are far more effective ways of skinning that particular 'cat'.

    In the mean time here's something much classier from STEVIE


    Listen old man don't flatter yourself.No one here needs GUTS to take you on.My response to your pack of lies in your last post ended up in the spam folder so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to read it.In the meantime the above post to Habib and the two deleted ones preceding it were about Martyn and not you.You,ve put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5.You're getting paranoid mate.

  64. Hank

    I,ve responded twice to your posts but they've ended up in the spam folder.

  65. Hey chekhov
    check this


  66. Hank, Paul
    STFU, you're both admirable chaps as well u no.

  67. "I've responded twice to your posts but they've ended up in the spam folder."

    Can't think why.

  68. Get up


  69. OK, any sign of my mate Paul?

    I am so fucking sick and tired of Paul trolling along in my wake, questioning what I have to say when Paul clearly doesn't have a clue about anything.

    Let's have it out, Paul...Put up or shut up.

    There's nothing to be learned from middle class black people just because they're black. Paul represents all that's wrong with the Cif/Waddya crowd. Identity politics bollocks twats who think that the world owes them a living because the Guardian has identified them as part of a socio-economic subset of oppressed mediocrity.

    Boring little pissants with no idea about society, or economics, or politics.

    And no guts either.

  70. Hymn for anyone getting banned on CiF


  71. Hank

    I,m not your mate,i,m not middle class and i,m not wasting my time justifying myself to a bitter'n'twisted shithead whose MO is to attempt to unload his own crap onto other people.You're a middle class man in a middle class job who is basically a 'rebel without a cause'.I may be in a minority of one on the UT for saying this but i think you're a joke.

  72. @Paul - get up off your fucking knees.

    Show some self respect.

  73. "I may be in a minority of one on the UT for saying this but I think you're a joke."

    You deleted three comments directed at me the other day because you didn't have the guts to back them up.

    I'm a working class man who does a job he's happy to do and which fits with his worldview.

    Let's hear you take my life and career to bits, sunshine....

    I'm happy to meet you whenever, Paul.

  74. Hank

    You wanna take me on do you? I don't do fisticufs with old men so that ain't an option.

    When my earlier posts reappear you are gonna look even more of a twat than you already are.The deleted posts you are referring to were directed at Martyn and not you.And in my post to Habib when i referred to the 'racist smeg ridden tosser' i was referring to Martyn and not you.Am i now getting through to you Hank?

    You keep trying to pick these fights with me and i'm getting bored with them now.Maybe there was a time when i was prepared to make an effort to get on with you but not anymore.

  75. @Paul - I don't care much whether the "racist smeg ridden tosser" is me or Martyn. The point is that you're stupid enough to toss those sort of insults around indiscriminately.

    I nailed you earlier.

    You're a liar, an idiot, and a coward.

    "You wanna take me on do you? I don't do fisticufs with old men so that ain't an option."

    Yeh, ok, Paul.

    Give it up, little man. You're a fucking joke.

  76. Hank

    Hit a nerve there did it? Actually you are very like some of the people on waddya that i don't like insofar as you shift the goal posts in order to promote your own agenda .People like Kiz/Bru/Martyn/Heverale your arguments are all over the place.And you're so lacking in self awareness that you are clearly oblivious to what you're doing.Thing is that people on waddya like Hermione and KT aren't like that.Which is why i like them and get on with them.They strike me as being basically decent people who don't get off on unloading their venom onto other people.Whereas like Bru and co you get off on it don't you?

    Oh and btw don't lecture me about tossing insults around indiscriminately because compared to you i'm an amateur in that respect.

    You need to grow up man!

  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

  78. One other thing Hank.As you know Martyn referred to me as the 'Fucking UT House Nigger' so don't you dare lecture me about calling him a 'racist smeg ridden tosser'.

  79. Paul - if you like people like hermione and KT, you're better off spending your time over at waddya.

    There's a big difference between that place and this one.

    You've tried to have a foot in both camps. It's not worked. You're not bright enough.

    Let's be honest, you've never actually added anything of intellectual value to this site, have you?

    Run along now, Paul, back to waddya. You know that you'll be happy sucking up to hermione and the rest of the airhead crew.


  80. Hank

    You,ve really shown yourself in your true pathetic colours .I have no respect for you man and i'm embarassed by the fact that i ever wasted my time trying to get on with you.And yeah i think people like Hermione and KT are worth 10 of you.You're a 'Rebel Without a Cause' mate and you're as much a working class hero as Cherie Blair.And as far as waddya goes you're still either lurking there on posting there so what the fuck is your problem?

  81. "You've really shown yourself in your pathetic colours." - Why?

    "And yeah I think people like Hermione and KT are worth 10 of you." - That'll be the same Hermione who was cheerleading for benefit cuts until she realised that the consensus on Cif was against benefit cuts, yeh? Like she's got any integrity or anything of value to add...

    As for KT, huh? Smartarse poster who spends his time on waddya, pissing the day away. Like your mates kiz and bru. Who fucking cares what he has to say? Or them? None of them have the brains or the guts to post on the politics or economics threads. They all wank the days away on the identity politics threads, recycling the same old shit.

    They're a bunch of wankers. They've got nothing to say.

    It's no wonder you suck up to them, and to hermione.

    You all represent all that's wrong with Cif.

    Bourgeois little mediocrities, the lot of you.

  82. Hank

    LOL! Give the wanker an oscar for that performance.You know jack shit about what life is really like for inner city working class people.Like certain other middle class people here at the UT you play at being a socialist-like Lord and Lady fucking bountiful.You intellectualize your political debates and totally lose track of what is going on at grass roots for the people who are being shafted every which way.You haven't got a clue mate.And i tell you what you wouldn't last 5 minutes in my world.As i said before you're a fucking joke!

  83. @Paul - and yet you suck up to the likes of Hermione, KT, Bru and Kiz just because they give you a little bit of attention.

    You're so needy. Pathetic.

    "And I tell you what you wouldn't last 5 minutes in my world."

    Oh fuck off. I'd last longer than some twat who talks about intellectualizing political debate...

    You're a fucking joke, Paul. A needy little black man who would desperately like to be white and loved by hermione.

    Sad thing is that you also want to be loved by me and when you sober up you'll start kissing my arse again.

    You have no self-respect and no clear sense of your own identity or class.

    You're lost.

  84. Hank

    This proud Black man would wipe the floor with your white arse anytime and any place.And FWIW i'm 100% stone cold sober now,i'm not needy and i most certainly won't ever need any validation from a saddo like you.You know what i don't know you,i don't want to know you and from now on you can say what you like cos i won't be responding to you.Certain other people here may hold you in high esteem but i most certainly don't.You're don't exist as far as i'm concerned.

  85. You're not proud, Paul. We all know that. Your humble and subservient, and very very greedy for approval. It's sad to see. You need to get some self-respect.

    As for wiping the floor with my white arse, don't be silly. You're playing up to racial stereotypes there.

    "You're dont exist as far as i'm concerned."

    Suits me. Fuck off back to waddya. As I said earlier, you'll be more at home there. Maybe hermione can take you on as her houseboy.

  86. OI!!--My name is nobody and I'm here to referee this late night rumble.

    1st rule--No reference to colour.

    2nd rule--Carry on.

  87. One fool and a submission, Boudican. I win.

  88. Boudican

    One fool and a submission, Boudican. I win.

    One deluded middle class tosser and quite frankly i don't give a fuck.

  89. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZaZqx9v3dU

  90. PS

    Can anyone remind me what "Waddya" is.


  91. Sorry guys, under the Marquis of Pilsbury (or Sainsbury if you like) rules, I score it a draw.

    Bitter--Good one, you can pick em.

  92. Oof.
    Kizzy cunty.
    Fat bloke.
    Is it.
    Chemical Bitches.
    Sureley Not
    Bruges ???
    Hmm... Schwwt...

  93. Cocker.
    Further-more Jenkins. Twattage

  94. Bitter--try this oldie.


  95. Here's some gay rock


    Not bad for 76.

  96. THIS is how to open a gig