28 June 2009

Daily Chat 28/06/09

The coronation of Queen Victoria took place on this day in 1838. Infamous Australian outlaw Ned Kelly was captured on this day in 1880. Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie were assasinated on this day in 1914. The Irish Civil War began on this day in 1922 and the Stonewall Riots took place on this day in 1969. Celebrating birthdays today: Mel Brooks, Hans Blix, Kathy Bates, Alice Krige, and John Cusack. Today is the feast day of St. Vitus in the Orthodox Church.


  1. Where hank and his buddies is at right now


  2. Well it looks like either there's ablanket ban on regular CIF antagonists, or their LOUSY software platform is malfunctioning deeply this weekend.

    Given thnat that, and Facebook are down (where I collect all my love-bombs),I'm going to turn in.

    Happy today everyone.


  3. Sorry, Bitterweed. I forget that you're often on here in the wee hours... Looks like you went to bed about 45 mins ago.

  4. Sheffpixie & Stoaty:

    Could you please e-mail me at:

    thewildhack AT gmail DOT com


  5. This is the best music you will hear all day

  6. Montana,
    Will do later. Off to bootfair now.

  7. Bitterweed,
    Gladly, aint gone yet.

  8. Awake now! The sun is shining here!

    Gardening today!

  9. annetan
    @ 8.25 - LOL

    Enjoy your day in the garden.

  10. I see from WDYWTTA that there have been serious problems with modding on the MJ threads. I haven't been following these, but one of the MJ threads is currently lacking comments at all and is displaying this message instead:

    "Apologies, something has gone wrong and this action cannot be completed. Please try again later".

  11. Will do, montana - then off to the allotment - things are going crazy up there - mostly the weeds.

  12. @ annetan & MsChin/Scherfig/Sheffpixie
    and other Andy Capp fans

    (anne thanx for link)

    In the latest version of Capp you can almost sense that the 'frames' of the strip these days are computer generated.

    I'm no expert on these things but the lines don't seem to have the flow of a proper curve if you know what I mean. The Andy of old could proper waltz his way from betting shop to pub and then float his way on home

    And it really is PC gone crackers - Andy without a fag (complete with ash just about to fall) hanging from his mouth is simply not Andy.

    As you guys said/sensed the role of the whippet/pigeons/betting slip/rolling pin were all such essential ingredients both in the continuity and in the never ending plot.

    And of course Andy's minds eye was never empty. Always a dream (the next pint or some such pleasure) or nightmare (the rolling pin or flo) lurking there even when ratted.

    All in all it really was in its day fucking brill and plainly provided some amusing memories for us all.

    I hope DanPearce calls by today - he might be able to tell us where we could access an archive of some of the original stuff.

  13. The Andy of old could proper waltz his way from betting shop to pub and then float his way on home.

    Yeah, deano, 'modern' cartoons do have a kinda join the dots look about them.
    And Andy without a fag is weird. But he's lucky he's still got a local to go to, since so many boozers have closed down ...

  14. @ MsChin

    Pictures are of course always going to have that 'join the dots look' (that's how comp screens work) but I sense that you too know that the latest Capps started out on a computer - and thus they somehow have that "double" join the dots look.

    I'm sure that an original Andy Capp displayed on a computer screen would be distinguishable and have only a "single" join the dots look.

    Curves are curves you either see them (even in sentences) or you do not. You plainly do.

    Regards - dog walking calls

  15. PS - there is a seat in the boat for you too.

  16. @ Montanna

    If the wobblies were advising you they would probably say:

    Please give some thought to finding a way of avoiding being seen as the shop steward. If some spiteful tosser were to have a go at you it would distress me and others.

    SwiftyBoy as one who has mostly given up on cif could for example be asked to ask others to contact HQ as required

  17. Hi montana - been over to the phone booth (seemed to have walked in on some private pain). tried posting but got chucked out. did all the right things ie google account etc but no joy. Does it take a while to set it up?

    Quite a few Andy C types dossing around on the allotments this morning - generous with their veg though - had to scrounge some cabbage plants as the bloody pigeons have scoffed mine.

  18. sorry - seem to have signed in with an old profile name (above). The oldbag is really me - not that its not true of course.

  19. Re Andy Capp - if you use igoogle (very good as a homepage), go to 'add stuff' and find GoComics. You can customize it and get cartoon strips of your choice which are updated every day. Andy Capp, Doonesbury, Calvin and Hobbes etc etc. It's well worth having in order to cheer yourself when necessary.

  20. I remember when Andy Capp first came out, have you noticed that Florrie is the one with the brain cell? just like real life.

  21. man-with-no-name's dog- walker28 June, 2009 13:17

    Dear Moderator ( or should that be Miss Modess)

    I'm back from my walk with the dog, it's sticky out there so I thought I would change into somebody else.

    I know it's Sunday it's a fagend shift and that most likely means that your an intern. That is why I am going to spell out my message as clearly as I am able without quite splitting my syllables - if you know what I mean.

    If you have any doubts about the precise meaning of this post then please coy/cut and paste it to Mod HQ and take a printed copy of it with you to the next mods meeting or mod school. I do so want you to understand what is going on.

    You will have seen that the Wildhack woman has summoned the stoat and the pixie to HQ. The outstanding question remains why?

    I can help and as a Christian sort of chap(cross dressing banned on Sundays) I want to direct your attention to the appalling and unacceptable licentiousness that these cifs were up to yesterday.

    @ 16.17 (yesterday) the stoat said "...I only joined to get off with......Sheff.."

    @ 16.31 the pixie replied ".......if your up for (my wonderful largesse) I could be your woman"

    @ 16.34 the stoat (frothing a little around the mouth) said "You're on girl is it too early to ask what you are wearing?"

    Plainly such knicker wetting lewidty is not acceptable to readers of the Untrusted and that is why Ms Wildhack has summoned the said tossers for a dressing down. And quite right too.

    Whilst you are at mod school I wonder if you would ask on my/our behalf if that Montana Wildhack is a respectable midwest schoolteacher with high IQ sprog who writes scripts for Auntie's Dr Who or is she that porn actress of same name?

    I/we would be pleased to receive Mod HQ's views on this delicate question. Alternatively you could just piss off.

    Yours sincerely

    Man-with-no-name's-dog walker.

  22. Man-with-no-name's-dog walker

    Good grief....I do believe you're jealous. But just to put your fevered mind at rest Ms Wildhack invited us to join her elsewhere.

    PS: I think stoaty has had second thoughts - he must have been trawling through my previous on cif and thought better of it.

  23. Not a jealous bone in my soul - you have a seat in the boat the matter is at an end.

  24. Na, sheffpixie, mr stoat's simply sharpening his wit in readiness, judging by his post at 13.04!

  25. Sheffpixie,
    Don't you believe it.

  26. Ms Wildhack merely wanted to know what I was wearing.

  27. @ Sheffpixie

    I must get on do some outstanding and pressing tasks like get a wash and scrub me teeth (if only I could find where I put them) but one for the future - I really must get down my favourite post strike story - I'll do it for you to take/post to the Orgreave soc someother day.

    Best W ( You Chin and fig and Any Capp had me pissing myself yesterday)Cheers.

  28. Czarnykot

    Just thought I'd drop you this link as a fallback. Keep on the way you're going and you'll soon be finding cif ain't as f as you suppose.

    CIF and their right-on, uberliberal sensibilities can only take so much of a shafting from the left. It shows them up. Tories, cryptofascists and religious nutters are always welcome as they're part of the problem. Any genuine, non-identity centred left-wing dissent has a limited shelf life; particularly when you imply they're simply fiddling while Rome burns and the BNP keeps marching on.

    Anyway...if cif does pull the plug..there's always a spot for you here.

  29. ps and of course stoat "..Is it too early..." - fucking pricless dear sir.

  30. Good to see you monkeyfish
    Regards deano

  31. Anonymous said...
    "you have a seat in the boat the matter is at an end."

    Will this include the seven other 'ladies' with interesting sensibilities I believe you mentioned yesterday.

    And will it it be punting or rowing?

  32. When I speak with Miss Montana I will demand the immediate scragging of 'the man with no name etc'. Can't think who it could be.

  33. Hello Deano

    Just nipped on to point Czarnykot in this direction. Always liked his posts.


    How goes it? Read all the other stuff. Might give Hank a text in a while if he ain't back. Wouldn't be the same etc.

  34. @ Sheffpixie

    Do not push your luck young miss you have a seat in the boat - but which number it is cannot be drawn from my soul by a heard of ants.

    I wouldn't be seen dead in a punt and a water borne device propelled by a man - whatever do you take me for!

    If you have time during your working life next week and you don't actually know the story of Frederick Furnivall (the first and most useless editor of the OED) and his teashop girls google it.

    It's a fabulous yarn and truly knicker wetting. If your too busy or have bastard mods at work too I'll get around to telling the yarn - prob' next w'end

    Now I really must stop fucking about here - much fun that you all are - and get on.

    (Gather that Furnivall was actually the inspiration for "ratty" the mate of toad of toad hall - fucked if I can recall the book title)

    Regards deano.

  35. @ monkeyfish

    Hank was here fri night if I remember right.

  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

  37. MF, not bad me old mucker, pout in the sun for a while again now.

  38. "out in the sun" even
    I fucking hate this pisspoor incy-wincy laptop keyboard. designed by right on porgs no doubt.

  39. Still in premod all over the shop btw. Gang of fucktards.

  40. Deano

    I seem to recall the beeb did a programme about the beginnings of the OED - it was rather good. Have just looked the old bugger up and I note that Furnivall's papa ran a lunatic asylum. Could that account for F's apparent uselessness with keeping staff - he's described as being irascible and capricious. They did like to do weird experiments on the allegedly bonkers in those days and perhaps F had a bit of that.

    OK - no punts

  41. Deano

    Wind in the willows is what you're searching for. Loved it as a child - then in late teens it was pointed out to me it was all about class warfare and was never able to see it in the same way again. Another joyful childish illusion shattered.

  42. Back from the allotment just before the rain started.

    Raspberries and peas, and a couple of artichokes that someone else gave me. Now I just need to work out how to cook the latter and which bits to eat. Anyone any thoughts?

    And with a nod to what happened 95 years ago, here’s Franz Ferdinand

  43. Artichokes!! MMMmmmmmmmmm

    I guess you mean globe artichokes. Simple to cook, but takes a while to boil them. Rinse them in water with vinegar in it to make sure you get rid of any little bugs in the leaves, cut their stalks leaving about 3 inches in length, then boil in salted water - depending on how big they are, for between 30-40 mins ( approx 2 inches circumference) to an hour (3 - 4 inches.)

    Make a vinaigrette with mustard, wine vinegar and about twice as much sunflower oil to vinegar, crush a garlic clove into it if you like, salt and pepper and shake to make an emulsion (or buy it)

    Let the artichokes cool a bit, then eat by pulling off the leaves and scraping the fleshy bit at the base of each leaf into your mouth with your teeth - dipped in the vinaigrette first.

    Once you get to the middle, there will be lots of purple hairy bits - what would be the flower if it was allowed to go to seed and bloom. Pull these off and chuck them, then dip the light green fleshy heart of the artichoke in the vinaigrette and eat.

    A french comedian called Coluche used to say artichokes were food for poor people becaue you always ended up with more on your plate when you finished than when you started. :o)

    God I'm jealous. I won't get any til I go to France on me hols in August.

  44. I really should write a cookery book. My ex BF's mum in France taught me all the tricks of basic french cooking, making mayonnaise, all the sauces. I could give Jamie a run for his money any day... :o)

  45. Thanks BB.

    Your suggestion is very similar to my friend Rachel’s (she gave them to me), so I’ll give it a go.
    Water’s boiling now; I’ll let you know how they turn out.

  46. Problem with going to France is that fruit and veg is always so cheap, because they source locally and tend not to import much stuff out of season. A kilo of chicory - £2.50 vs Tescos, 3 pieces of chicory, £3.00. A tray of ripe peaches, £4.00 vs half a dozen rock-hard peaches that will never "ripen at home" no matter how hard you try, £3.00

    When I come back I spend weeks going round the shops shouting "I'm not bloody paying that!" and sulking.

  47. BB, solution is obvious:

    Grow your own.

    Allotments are unobtainable in north London, but you might be able to get one down your way.

    Maybe you could share with Swifty!

  48. Well we are lucky enough to be endowed with a fair sized garden so we could probably do a plot here if we weren't such indolent buggers at the weekends (although that is not strictly fair cos my hubby is on every committee under the sun and I spend at least 3-4 hours working for the week ahead, but hey...)

    My other half bought this place in 89 - it was built in 1920 and had never been renovated, so he had to replumb, redo the electrics, install central heating etc - most of which he did himself or with a mate.

    But that meant that it had more than a postage stamp for a garden, which is great. We have a few trees, including a couple of apple trees, a big pond at the back and a kind of wild grassy area that is nowhere near neat enough to be called a lawn, but feels really "rustic" for the middle of a small town. We are bloody lucky really.

  49. Bloody French - "........to make sure you get rid of any little bugs.........."

    Really BB - that's the protein gone!

  50. LOL!

    True dat...

    Although if it was the French, they would probably find some sauce to put them in and eat them.

    They eat anything that moves. And if it doesn't move, they kick it to make it move, and then they eat it.

  51. I love France too for all the same reasons.


  52. Deano

    This is where I used to live: http://www.maillezais.fr/decouvrir-maillezais/maillezais-en-photos/

    In an area called Le Marais Poitevin, which is also known locally as Green Venice. Lots of those flat-bottomed boats you were talking about to SheffPixie earlier. Still got my heap of stone cunningly disguised as a house out there (it cost me 16 grand in 1990). Shame we only get out there once a year, though.

    Really beautiful, peaceful village, about 45 mins from La Rochelle, which is my favourite city in the whole world, and where I used to work (well, of those I have visited... so that is kind of limited really).

    The abbey in the village is twinned with Glastonbury abbey, so I kind of felt like it was a hippy connection... ;o)

  53. Hmm, that’s thirty minutes of my life I’ll never see again, and I’ve not even finished the first artichoke. I think I’ll pass next time I’m offered any of those.

    BB: gardening doesn’t have to be an ordeal or a chore – it’s supposed to be fun and relaxing. And if you get something to eat at the end that’s another plus.

    Pick a few things you like eating, and try to grow them. It’s not rocket science. You could even bribe your son to do the digging for you.

    Right, I need a proper meal now – risotto, can’t go wrong.

  54. You see! This is what I miss about being in France! http://www.vendee.fr/

    Headline on the left - more than 2000 vendeens unite to defend SKF. 2000 doesn't sound a lot until you realise that Fontenay le Compte - the nearest town to my place - only has a population of just under 14,000.

    When did we lose that fighting spirit in this country? It was here when I left in 87, but it was gone by the time I moved back in 94.


  55. Andy - send your artichokes to me! I will pay postage and packing! :o)

    Bon appetit!

  56. Nice one Andy - LOL

    Will have pleasure in looking at the pics later BB

    Dogs are nattering for a walk.

    @ Sheffpixie - your right it's a luna house that the family fortunes came from but what the bastard did with them is the funny bit.

  57. "risotto, can’t go wrong"
    want to bet ? Ask my big brother. He found seven new ways to fuck up risotto once.

  58. Deano

    When you're back from walking the mutts - tell us the story.

  59. BB; sorry, they’re not mine to give away (otherwise I would, believe me).

    Seriously, try growing your own. I believe they’re not that much work once you get them established, just a bit of manure each year and you’ll have more artichokes than I, for one, would ever need.

    BW: OK, maybe I should have phrased that differently.

    Risotto can be a bit tricky, if you don’t give it your full attention, but once it’s cooked, it’s a proper, substantial meal. Not like bloody artichokes...

    Has your brother mastered it yet?

  60. Well that was a bloody disaster.

    You would have thought that at my age (62) I would have known what was going to happen next.

    That bloody dog of mine Mungo is a sod.

    I live (camp)on the edge of a largish field (guess about 15+ acres) this year its planted with wheat. I have a walk way round all four sides of the field and access to open countryside beyond. That's the route I usually take twice a day. My dogs are nearly always off the lead and usually under my voice command or a loud whistle if need be. I have one of those voices that can fell a decent sized dog if required.

    The thunder storm has just passed. The sun now shineth and the air is completely still. It was about 7pm when I left. It's within 10 days of either side of the solstice.

    All of the ingredients which when combined - lead fucking lunatic dogs with a strong hound gene, and thus scent detectors, to go bonkers.

    In the normal early evening the air always becomes more impregnated with the scent of other animals rabbits game birds etc. It seems to hang and doesn't easily disperse as it does earlier in the day.

    Odour de rabbit - is always a good smell for Mungo. But after an electric storm the atmosphere seems to stall and then break down into streams and rivers of pure smell.

    Mungo in these circumstances can no longer see, he can no longer hear, all he can do is smell. Smell is simply too much for Mungo. Even my bellowed threat to take him back to the dogs home from whence he came is of no avail.

    The bastard thus ignores me and takes off at a gallop like a fucking lunatic stallion in pursuit of a mare. Off across and around the field of wheat. I can't actually see much of him - all I see is a river of rippling wheat forming and then vanishing in an otherwise perfectly still field of wheat.

    In the distance an occasional momentary view of a head as he rears up looks round takes a bearing and sets of again.

    It's like watching the ripples on water that a large fish makes as it darts around beneath in search of food.

    Dog as rapid attack submarine (in the command of matelot George Melly) in a field of wheat - got the picture?

    It's just as well that wheat is as it matures becomes a strong grass that is quite elastic to accommodate the wind. Otherwise I would have been looking at a 15 acres of flattened crops.

    Result I've got one wet smelly dog covered in seeds grinning at me and I ain't amused. Good job I live alone my caravan will stink to high heaven by the morrow.

    That dog simply does not understand the words "I will thrash you to within an inch of the sixpence I paid for you".

    I plainly have a problem with the language - now about that OED yarn......

  61. Cracking tale, deano! Dogs will be dogs, though ...

  62. Sounds like Mungo had an absolutely banging time Deano.

  63. @ sheffpixie

    I will I promise (in due course) tell you the yarn. If you haven't already seen or heard it.

    There are a number of problems though. Firstly I have just checked and sadly I do not have sufficient clean underwear to complete the task tonight. Truth be told not even this week.

    The problem here is that I simply cannot get through the yarn or even a goodly fraction of it without wetting myself. I have tried discipline. I am just no good at it.

    Frederick Furnivall reduces me to fits of hysteria whenever I think of him. He really is my most admired Victorian.

    I trust you will understand and forgive - I simply cannot tell the yarn in one go.

    Because I reserved a place in the boat for you I will endeavour to make a beginning. But it can be no more than that - do you understand?

    Oh rabbits are shagging outside my window now.

  64. Oh good to see that you around MsChin since I have given a place in the boat to you too.

  65. deano30
    Very ammusing. Thanks.

  66. deano. set youself free. stop wearing underwear.their only purpose is to make you worry about changing them or not.

  67. Before I go any further......

    It would be discourteous of me not to make plain that there is an honorary place in the boat to be taken, or rejected, entirely at the discretion of the senior lady around here - anntan42.

    A lady with the skills necessary to teach a recalcitrant adult the art of subtraction is the kind of lady I admire. In any event numbers are important in the matter of navigation and I have no intention of troubling myself with such mundane matters. Furnivall would have had non of that nonsense.

  68. Heheh

    Now we know how the crop circles are done!

  69. No let us be serious for one short while.

    We are all adults here - we all have children or close young relatives and neighbours for whom we have a care. Our responsibilities are thus far reaching even inter generational so to speak. And as for those overseas cousins who from time call here - well plainly a note a of caution/direction is called for here.

    Since we all will have a continuing responsibility to ensure that they are only ever acquainted with the true tale of Frederick Furnivall.

    I make clear the there are hundreds of thousand of words in the OED - but the one that we shall use to start, and indeed to end, the story of Frederick Furnival is ..............lascivious.

  70. It is not altogether clear whether the word predated the man or the man the word.

    No matter. Had the word not existed it would have had to be invented to give meaning to Fredericks life. Whatever - the moment the word and Frederick came together they were bonded as one. No matter what the word might have meant before it and Frederick were introduced - thereafter it meant Frederick Furnivall

    Ah I see time has cometh for me to say..............

    ""to be continued""

    this timeish next week. If an audience can be found.

    Regards friends.

    Anyone else who knows the yarn is welcome to add to or complete it if they have a wish.

  71. I like the guy already;-)

  72. Deano - you do know that you can e-mail me any time, don't you? You're quite welcome at t'other place.

  73. A special note for Annetan - Frederick could, as you will see get himself into quite a state over "numbers". A lady with numeracy skills would have had him over the moon. So I hoe you will take a seat in my boat.


  74. Sunflower oil BB!!! Absolutely not... The only oil to ever be used in a dressing is extra virgin olive oil.. preferably Greek and preferably from kalamata... sunflower oil indeed! whatever next!

  75. Deano I accept with pleasure!

  76. Good morning Deano

    Loved your all nose, deaf dog in cornfield story, it made me long for my old mutt who also practiced selective deafness when after rabbits. No dog now as I work four days a week and couldn't leave one alone all that time.

    Will accept the Furnivall yarn in episodes as it pleases you to produce them.

  77. Article by Ed Halliwell treatment for depression and the increase in cases has generated the some good responses bur there are still people who depression is 'just feeling a bit fed up' and we should 'snap out of it'.

    Its the ones that think the stresses put on people today are 'normal' that get me!

    The subs have excelled themselves - 'The drugs don't work' I suppose we should be greatful they didn't continue the quote!

    Article is wooly but somewhere there is the germ of a good idea - find out WHY people are depressed before throwing either pills or therapy it.

    Oh and that fewer people would be depressed if we were nicer to each other!