03 June 2009

Daily Chat 03/06/09

In 1140, Peter Abelard is found guilty of heresy.  In 1889, the Canadian Pacific Railroad is completed.  In 1937, the Duke of Windsor marries gold-digging American hussy, Wallis Simpson. Celebrating birthdays:  Tony Curtis, Ian Hunter, Suzi Quatro, Susannah Constantine and Rafael Nadal.  It is the feast day of the Ugandan Martyrs in the Roman Catholic and Anglican churches.

Now, I'm sorry, but I have to do this:



73 comments:

  1. Don't apologise Montana! Its a classic - spellbinding!

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  2. I keep getting beaten to first post of the day, this didnt happen last week, very disturbing.

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  3. Bitterweeds on best of comments, good work old boy.

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  4. Yeah great song. I go with the stillborn baby off the bridge interpretation btw. Then again, I love a good conspiracy theory.

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  5. Yep...well played BW. Although personally I'm absolutely gutted. Another week slogging away at the keyboard, flashing my stylish prose and fulsome rhetoric coquettishly in front of Seaton and not a flicker of recognition. Guy's playing hard to get. But..he's only flesh and blood, he can't hold out forever.

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  6. @m/f:

    Just say something nice about Hadley Freeman's latest drivellings and you'll be up there in a shot. She's needing a bit of help at the moment with her 6th form essay on feminism as it is, so you'd be coming to the aid of a lady in distress AND boosting your own credibility with one single flourish of the keyboard.

    Go to it, D'Artagnan.

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  7. Bitterweed, it was that comment that kicked off the Tanya Gold discussion here yesterday. I reckon that Seaton read that, and is now starting to 'groom' you to take over her 'fat and fucked up' spot. You'd better be careful, mate. Those Cif editors will chew you up and spit you out. You're just fresh meat to them.

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  8. The Freeman article - i wrote quite a lengthyu comment on that which i thought was really rather good and contained not a single word of abuse or libellous potential but still it was rejected by the adorable premod system. This whole affair is so ridiculously frustrating, all for the crime of calling an established war criminal a c*nt.

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  9. Blears has resigned from the cabinet. Rejoice.

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  10. She 'wants to spend more time with her family'. Why do they keep saying that? Nobody believes it.

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  11. She's really stuck the knife into Brown in her resignation letter. It's going to be a bad day for Gordie's minions in no10 today - there'll be many a mobile phone smashed, desk diaries thrown across rooms, etc.

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  12. Adam Boulton on Sky is starting to suggest that "very senior" Labour figures are starting to call for Brown to step down.

    I'm thinking I might start the death clock. 30 days and counting?

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  13. "Blears has resigned from the cabinet. Rejoice."


    What a day!!!!!!!

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  14. I don't think the govt can survive the weekend at this rate.

    Qué lástima.

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  15. Here's a goodie from UltraGeorge (who dat?):

    #The only usefule thing she can do now for her constituents is velcro herself to a wall and let them throw wet kitchen roll at her. Then, after they boot her out whenever an election is called, she can go and live out her days in exile, on a duck island, surrounded by a moat filled with tears.#

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  16. Fair enough she's resigned from cabinet, am I a horrible person that I don't think this gesture goes far enough? I'd have liked her to fuck off altogether...

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  17. Doohnibor - agreed, and that for all of them. They're hanging on to the next election (hopefully not far off) so that they can collect their full pensions, the greedy swine. As if they haven't stolen enough off us.

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  18. And nobody's being prosecuted...

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  19. Good posts on the Hadley Freeman piece, Montana and Scherfig.
    She does write a load of drivel, doesn't she?

    I'm so glad NEW Labour is getting shafted but does it mean we're in for 4 years of Tory rule? That isn't funny...

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  20. The real question is, how much would you pay to headbutt Blears? In my current situation i'd stretch to about £400.

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  21. PMQs should be good - here we go!

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  22. I'd like to jab her in the eye, quite hard. I'd be willing to pay about £500.

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  23. I liked Annetans idea of buring them alive in a rubbish tip. I'd give a months salary for that.

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  24. I would rehabilitate her back into the 'community' she loves so much and has worked so hard for. Sell her houses (profit to go to OAP's) and get her a one-bedroom council flat and a job in McDonald's. Let her get back to her roots - she''ll thank us for it eventually.

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  25. @scherfers:

    Yep, that's the winner I reckon.

    I also think she should be packed off to jihadi training camp and used as target practice for AK-47 waving yoofs from Luton and Crawley, but hey ho that's just me.

    PS If that combination of words doesn't get the security services' alarm bells ringing in short order over in Vauxhall, I don't know what will.

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  26. Come on Scherfig, a little bit of violence surely?

    We could always go the rehab route afterwards.

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  27. Fucking great. They've put me in pre-mod. That'll teach me to complain about being deleted for no reason (and get the post reinstated). Happy days on Cif. Think I'll jack it in.

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  28. Go on scherfers, you know you want to! Intense feeling of liberation etc, knowing you're not going to have to don the trusty sword of truth and go wading in to the battle again... and again... and again... Groundhog Day was no fun for Bill Murray, and that's what CiF became for me.

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  29. Yeah, you're right, Swifty. I almost did it a month or so ago, but only hung on for a bit to report variois posters for abuse. I've probably still got the draft Email, so it might be time to fire that bad boy up their arse. I won't miss it.
    The funny thing is the only reason I can think of is that they deleted two of my posts overnight on the WDYWTTA thread, where I was talking to pen (his posts got decimated too), and I put in a link to this place.
    Still, who cares why they did it - they're wankers anyway. If Hazel can walk out, so can I.

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  30. "The funny thing is the only reason I can think of is that they deleted two of my posts overnight on the WDYWTTA thread, where I was talking to pen (his posts got decimated too), and I put in a link to this place."

    Premod for that? Thats completely ridiculous.

    I have just sent my 8th email enquiring about my sentence. Still no response.

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  31. @Jay:

    Mate, they're a bad lot, and they're under an increasing amount of pressure over there at the moment. I just get the sense there's a feeling chez Seaton et al that in CiF they've got a tiger by the tail and can't for the life of them figure how to let the fuck go and escape with skins intact.

    They have truly spawned a monster.

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  32. Rumour has it that Blears resigned because details of her flipping and selling yet another property are about to come out.

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  33. @scherfers:

    Blimey, she'd never have done such a thing, would she?

    Her dearly-beloved constituents in Salford are all over the news telling her in no uncertain terms to fuck off and never come back, doubt she'll be standing for re-election come the big day.

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  34. Dear me Swifty, the residents of Salford would never, ever communicate in such profane language.

    The very idea.

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  35. @D'nibor:

    You and I are such wide-eyed naifs, n'est-ce pas?

    I think the doughty residents of Salford have been driven to it by the foul profanity that is Hazel Blears, to be honest.

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  36. You could be onto something there Swifty.

    Although I wouldn't insult my own cunt by comparing her to one.

    How long do we think before CiF puts up an article about the misogyny inherent in Blears going and Darling et al not?

    I'll go for 6 hours.

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  37. And I'll have a £100 on it being penned by BTH.

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  38. @D'nibor:

    In turn, I think you're onto a winner with that. Could one of BiBuBiBu turn it round quickly enough? Highly likely, given the "back of a fag packet" jottings we normally get from the Awesome Foursome...

    There's something rotten at the heart of politics... victims of the patriarchy... errr, conveniently forgotten about Elliott Morley et al... errr, research shows us female MPs are 12 times more likely to have breasts than male MPs... errr, there's so much still to be done.

    Will that do?

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  39. "How long do we think before CiF puts up an article about the misogyny inherent in Blears going and Darling et al not?"

    No, im going to suggest Friday morning. To wangle a misogyny line out of this one will require some fairly impressive contortions. Its not that they lack the firepower to pull it off, they do, but even their crack unit, BiBuBiBu, would take some time to get it on the road. Work will be beginning in the next few hours i suspect.

    So, on the wager front, who's going to pen it?

    My money's on Bunting. Bindel is curiously apolitical (identity drivel aside), as is Biddy, and Burchill's just an exile. So im going for Bunting and Friday morning.

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  40. No it bloody well won't!

    Only 1 mention of patriarchy and none at all of oppression or misogyny?

    Nope, BTH is the man(?) for the job.....

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  41. Doohn, maybe a "blears" will become a popular neologism for female apparatus. "Her skirt was so short you could almost glimpse her Blears!".

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  42. Darling will be gone soon, so the misogyny angle is going to take an intellectual heavyweight to make it work. And to really capitalize on the physical appearance aspect (dwarf, porno-babe) there is only one TANYA GOLD.

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  43. scherf - LOL, you've come up with some good 'uns today!

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  44. "(dwarf, porno-babe) there is only one TANYA GOLD."

    Scherfy has indeed been on good form lately. Could be a sound bet. The name did flash across my mind briefly but i thought they would want to go for something more serious, more substantial, so i think Golds out.

    Mark my word, Bunting - Friday morning.

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  45. @jay:

    Well, No 1 Bu is already giving Brown the CiF equivalent of a blow job, so I reckon she's discounted herself there.

    But wait... what's this I hear? A thundering of tiny hoofs from far far away, a politically engaged feminist librarian galloping to the party with the simple message - "it just goes to show what I've been saying all along, and I think you'll find research will bear me out here, politics is simply the grossest manifestation of the patriarchy ever devised by men, I well remember in the dreary years of opposition being patted on the bottom and asked to make the tea at Labour Party activist meetings... drone drone drone... did I tell you I've got 4 kids... drone drone drone"

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  46. Jay - I'll adopt it immediately.

    Its been a complete Blears of a day, Darling.

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  47. Huh.

    I've just had this:

    Too many comments have been submitted from you in a short period of time. Please try again in a short while.

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  48. I'd forgotten all about this...one from John Harris's Blears thread reminded me...

    #bananasthemonkey

    03 Jun 09, 1:36pm (about 3 hours ago)

    Bet she wishes she'd not written that cheque for 13 grand now..#

    Cracked me up.

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  49. Wow. Joan Ruddock...
    'Whistling in the dark' is the phrase that comes to mind.
    Nice comment, Thauma...

    What is it- 'Blears' or 'Blairs'?

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  50. Well at least they took notice of my WDYWTTA question on pre-mod: they deleted it, and Montana's response and a coupla others.

    And now, to cap it all, Jessica Reed's talking about the accountability of authors to posters as if she gave a shit.

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  51. doohnibor:

    How long do we think before CiF puts up an article about the misogyny inherent in Blears going and Darling et al not?

    I'll go for 6 hours.
    .

    Spot on, and you were all wrong. The obvious candidate missing from our shortlist was wurr Jackie:

    "Gordon's gender issue

    Unlike Blair, Brown has never exactly nurtured female talent at cabinet level – a blokeish instinct that could now cost him dear"

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  52. Marcel Berlins' last column. Shame. He was always worth reading and his last piece makes sense.

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  53. Lions looking good thaum, BOD and Roberts looking a good combo and my boy Croft coming good...

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  54. Goddamit Ally, all I needed to do was give a little bit more thought to the author and the double was mine....

    TAKE THAT, JAY!

    As I make my victory lap around the living room, it will be tinged with bittersweet sadness that some poor sap will still see it as an issue of sexism rather than just deserts...

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  55. Goddamit... Ashley flicked across my mind but i ruled her out as she hasnt written anything that insanely thick for a while. Bloody Ashley...

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  56. Look what "someone" just posted on the "Life After Brown" thread:

    "Who should replace Gordon Brown as Prime Minister?

    "I'd like to nominate a much-missed CiF poster: HankScorpio (whatever happened to him, anyway? Haven’t seen any of his stuff for a while. Maybe he's been busy elsewhere).

    "Hank never suffered fools gladly, I seem to recall, and might just be the one to lead us out of the almighty mess were now in."

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  57. RapidEddie’s comment on the same thread @ 7.16 is a peach.

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  58. Funny thing happened to me on CIF today on Beatrix Campbell's knife crime thread. I was trying to put a comment together, gathered a few stats, was just getting into it, then decided I couldn't quite phrase it right and decided against posting.

    Unfortunately I then hit "post comment" and it came up as a blank post.

    Five recommends so far???

    On the same thread there was a masterpiece of misunderstanding between ex-Army and a poster called FoucaultsPaine. Ally may have noticed it as he was around. The disconnect between ex-Army's straight-down-the-line style and the airy nature of his protagonist had me in bits.

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  59. "On the same thread there was a masterpiece of misunderstanding between ex-Army and a poster called FoucaultsPaine. Ally may have noticed it as he was around. The disconnect between ex-Army's straight-down-the-line style and the airy nature of his protagonist had me in bits."

    Yeah i watched that one, amusing. I think i was gonna post on that myself, wrote a big chunk then thought fuck it and couldnt be bothered to post - premod tends to crush the spirit - spend time writing stuff only for it not to ever even appear.


    Where has Hank been?

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  60. Here's something to cheer us all up. Jackie Ashley - facepalm - doh!

    Anyway, here's something to cheer us all up.

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  61. Bugger, don't know what happened there. Just click the link.

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  62. Jay: Hank’s never far away.

    I bet he’s posting something, somewhere, somehow, right now.

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  63. Ex-Army cracks me up, I loved him from the first time I saw his name. I still don't know if he's real though, or someone posting in the style of their great-grandad. Surely to be that bluff an ex-RSM (I'd guess), he'd have to have served in 1915, wouldn't he? I mean, how long has it been since "lads' clubs" and "A bloody good clip round the ear" was a socially acceptable cure for loitering feckless youth?

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  64. News at 10 anyone ?
    God what a piece of slime that fucking mandelson is...

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  65. Good link Swifty!

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  66. @B/W

    Crooked Still have created a unique and rather beautiful sound I reckon. I love them. Gregory Liszt is a virtuoso banjoist, no question. And you don't hear those two words together very often.

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  67. Mandelson is the foulest slime alive.

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  68. SB, I'll be checking that out.
    JR, indeed, he is a fuck faced peddler of the worst slime imaginable.

    On a lighter note, my copy of Already Free (Derek Trucks) arrivd this morning.

    He's quality that boy

    Exarmy is quality also.

    Right, I'm foobarred bed now, laters peeps.

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  69. Jay -- Martillo disappeared while moving to a coastal village, but I would have thought he'd be settled in enough to be back by now. Maybe he's enjoying life on the beach too much? And what about Hank? He's been AWOL for several days now. I don't remember him saying he was going to be away or anything...

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  70. Got to give the man his due though, BW, his propensity to float like a particularly obnoxious turd is remarkable.

    He could be the next leader of the country, make no mistake.

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