25 June 2010


Antoni Gaudi sun mosaic, Park Güell, Barcelona
photo by Brian Hewitt

Great acts are made up of small deeds.
Lao Tzu


  1. If it's a mosaic of the sun, why does it have two Snoopies (Peanuts cartoon) in the middle?

    Just nipped by to apologise for being drunk and disorderly yesterday evening.

    I feel my pain.

  2. Gandolfo:

    the best I've heard so far was the press conference with Landon Donovan blubbing and saying that the goal scored in the 90th min symbolised that there was still "good in the world".....jeeze get a fucking grip man.......

    What you're failing to understand, Gandolfo, is that the US of A has God on its side. Those referees weren't merely being crap, like they have been in so many other matches. When they're making calls and disallowing goals against the US of A, they are being anti-American, godless scum (or, worse yet, followers of the wrong god). We are the good guys, the guys in the white hats. God told us so.*


    annetan - oh my word! there's a pet insurance / mrs slocombe gag in there somewhere...

    Something about adequate coverage for your pussy, perhaps?

    (Oh, was I not supposed to actually say that?)

    About unemployment:

    According to official unemployment stats, there are currently 6 times more unemployed in the US than there are jobs available. There are actually more than that, because official unemployment figures only include people who are currently claiming unemployment benefit. Anyone who has exhausted their unemployment allowance, anyone who is unemployed but not claiming for any reason, is not included in that figure. On Thursday, every fucking Republican in the US Senate and one fucking Democrat, blocked a bill that would have extended unemployment benefits for the 1.2 million people who were due to lose their unemployment benefits today.

    Extending these benefits would have cost a few billion dollars (sorry, I don't have the exact amount at the moment). They said that we can't afford that right now. And yet...

    The very same fuckwads who say that we can't afford to help unemployed people keep their heads (barely) above water are pushing to extend to 2012 the Bush tax cuts that are due to expire this year -- tax cuts that take more than a trillion dollars from the US treasury and that disproportionately benefit the wealthiest Americans.

    *I don't need to put a smiley after that, do I?

  3. Could someone nip onto WADYYA and ask for at least 5 different articles on why the English media's reaction to playing Germany at a football match, highlights the chippy bigotry inherent in the English psyche?

    And indeed is this manifestation of anti-German footballing sentiment merely 'smaller nation insecurity' which hides a deeper, more sinister xenophobia?

    You know, just for fairness and balance?


  4. "...the chippy bigotry inherent in the English psyche..."

    Rubbish, and anyway, at least we made it to the World Cup, Jocky.


  5. Have to laugh at the Rachel Reeves , Labour Leeds West MP's article about the budget.

    The 31 year old London born, Oxford educated, ex Bank of England and HBOS business analyst/adviser (between 2006 and 2009) writing about how beastly the budget is 'to my constituents'. As she parachuted in from Islington.

    If you want a quick ready reckoner into the odious, tweedledum/tweedledee/neo-liberal managerial culture of British Politics, you can start with Rachel Reeves.

  6. Mornin' all....

    337 comments yesterday.... everyone was v chatty ;)

    Thought this little tale might cheer folk up


  7. I post it because this is the 2nd 'bionic' animal to be saved by pioneering implant surgery, I'm hoping that it can be transferred to humans as I need replacement joints in both big toes and the options are pretty limited at the moment - wih implant surgery having a poor success rate esp. for the big toe joint.

    Teddy Prendergrass is on some crap TV programme - what a voice....

  8. Duke

    I think it's a good point. I'm amazed that the anti-German sentiments and outright hostility persist. tbh it's disgraceful that it's so readily accepted.

    when are the dozy fuckers going to realise that the war ended 65 friggin' years ago and that the German people post-war, paid a very high price for their Nazi govt. actions.

  9. I'll no doubt be eating these ill-considered words come 4.45 on Sunday but I think we'll do enough to beat the over-confident Germans.

    And La Ritournelle, you think the anti-German stuff is bad, wait until we get Argentina in the quarters...

  10. Swifty:

    I've been singularly disgusted with much of the commentary on the matches I've watched thus far, the condescending sneering at the Ghanaians, was imho, boderline racist and then the England match t'other day. It really does spoil my enjoyment.

    I hope we do beat the Germans because we'll never hear the end of it.... not because I want England to win (I don't) ;)

  11. LaRit,

    to be honest, my point is aimed at the po-faced liberal article writers on CiF who try to view football rivalry through the prism of "actual existing xenophobia."

    And because football still has a "whiff of working class" about it, it's a done deal isn't it? Wanting a football team to lose is the "acceptable outlet" of darker xenophobic passions.

    Therefore, we had 4 articles on CiF which tried to portray Scots as small minded bigots because we don't support England.

    And it's the same with England-Germany. The German press (Bild for example) and your average German fan, can dish it out as much as they can take it.

    You take the piss taking and rivalry out of football, you diminish the game. But when you analyse these things through the Islington Kaleidoscope, then all types of beastly knuckle draggers and Nazis appear.

  12. Okee-dokee... got to shoot off now, oil be back later folks!

  13. @La Ritournelle:

    ...not because I want England to win (I don't)...

    Why not (genuine question)?


    You take the piss taking and rivalry out of football, you diminish the game.


  14. Gillesboy on the bullying thread yesterday:

    And while we're on the subject of definitions, there's a pious post above from someone who's attempt to publicly humilliate another is one of the nastiest things I've witnessed online.

    Who could he be referring to?

  15. Duke

    I agree with you, I had to listen to two presenters on some radio programme about a year ago, discussing the Rooney's and it was shocking, jealousy and a deep sense of disgust that working class people could make so much money. I was going to complain but never did.

    btw I don't want England to 'lose' because of some dark reason, it's the endless flag-waving and nationalism it brings out in people I can't stand, but hey, maybe I should examine the darker recesses of my mind!

  16. LaRit,

    I've been singularly disgusted with much of the commentary on the matches I've watched thus far, the condescending sneering at the Ghanaians, was imho, boderline racist and then the England match t'other day. It really does spoil my enjoyment.

    I did mean to say, by all accounts you're bang on here. I was looking through this When Saturday Comes messageboard on BBC and ITV punditry and boy oh boy it's been exactly as you say.

  17. I should also add that I just don't share that nationalistic fervour, after watching a really vicous football match at school between German exchange kids and our school, there were loads of boys were walking around Sieg Heiling and not being stopped by the teachers, it's always left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

  18. @La Ritournelle:

    Ah OK, well I'm not overly nationalistic but I do always root for the home nations against Johnny Foreigner (and the fucking Aussies).

    I'll be honest, I've not detected any racism in the output from the Big Two (the Beeb seems to be bending over backwards to show it ain't all wine and roses in the townships, although I'm not sure I'd have sent multi-millionnaire personality vacuum Alan Shearer to do the reportage), but I have certainly detected lots of patronising guff about "Africa's World Cup" and a good deal of platitudinous bullshit about the need for an "African" team to qualify for the knockout stages etc. If they're not good enough, they're out, in my view, whether they're African, European, South American or bloody Martian.

  19. Duke:

    It's been awful, same reason it spoils me enjoyment watching athletics, the way they talk about the women competitors is beyond the pale at times...

  20. Swifty:

    It's funny, maybe I should be rooting for them - cut our boys some slack!

    personality vacuum Shearer - priceless - he looks like he's on holiday and been dragged away from the pool and his cocktail at a very inconvenient time. Twat.

    "If they're not good enough, they're out, in my view, whether they're African, European, South American or bloody Martian"

    When I was offering my commiserations to my Nigerian neighbour the other day, he said simply, "they played badly"....

  21. LaRit/Swifty,

    there's a cracking post on that messageboard on the Beeb's baffling decision to do a one off special Shearer on Apartheid:

    A quick mention for Gabby Logan's cringe inducing interview just where she sings part of "When I'm 64" for Fabio Capello before asking if he'll still be pleasing us.

    But, that was Frost on Nixon compared to the staggering decision to let Alan Shearer loose in the Townships. "So, what was living through segregation like?". It surely won't be topped.Or bottomed.

  22. And I have to share this one, constructively criticising Mark Lawrenson's co-commentary skills-

    Lawrenson, you're shit, thrice shit and a shitologist in a world of your own small-minded stool kingdom. Fuck off, you mini-minded, jowly fuck monster and take your mean-spirited shitism back home with you. No, on second thoughts, stay the fuck away - piss off to the Arctic Circle.

    Would Beeb watchers consider this an accurate assessmenet?

  23. @13thDuke:

    I watched it even more slack-jawed in amazement than usual. If it's on the BBC iPlayer, it's definitely worth seeing.

    He was chewing gum the whole way through, which might have accounted for the weird smirk he was sporting.

    His "uh huh"s, lobbed in at odd, out of sequence intervals to show his interviewees that he was still awake, were disconcerting. And his line of questioning (for example, on hearing that an activist had lost her brother to gang violence, he managed "that must have been awful for you (smirk chew smirk)?" was just genuinely moronic.

  24. I still think there's more anti-French sentiment than anti-German in England. The English in my experience have always had a sneaking admiration for the Germans. The only thing I can't personally forgive the Krauts (they themselves call us "Island Monkeys") is their "comedy", which is generally absolutely dire.

    The main thing is keeping it fun and not vicious. For instance, I thought the 3 Lions video with all the German supporters wearing "Kuntz" strips was genuinely funny.

    I suppose I have a certain perspective because I get a lot of "rosbif" jokes in France, which are generally in good humour, and I try to reciprocate with things like inviting my French mates round for a drink to mark the bicentenary of Trafalgar.

    Of course, I was brought up on the Victor and Eagle, with Sergeant Fury knocking seven shades of shit out of the "squareheads", "sausage noshers", "hun", etc. and I imagine it was very difficult for those who'd actually fought in the war to forgive and forget. Still, there are fewer and fewer of those people left.

    I also think there's a big difference between jokey xenophobia about nations we have a comparable history with and those we've historically repressed.

    Did anyone else think it was distinctly unpleasant to hear the England supporters singing "Britons never shall be slaves" in Africa? Talk about insensitive!

  25. "there's a cracking post on that messageboard on the Beeb's baffling decision to do a one off special Shearer on Apartheid:"

    Hold up, is this for real? They actually did that?

  26. @Spike:

    "...Did anyone else think it was distinctly unpleasant to hear the England supporters singing "Britons never shall be slaves" in Africa?..."

    Seriously? No, I can't say I did. No "intent to offend" in singing Rule Britannia (funnily enough, not Rule Anglia, irony fans) at the World Cup, surely?


    Yep, they actually did.

  27. It's real Jay. I haven't seen it but as Swifty says above, it's available on iplayer.

    After the World Cup, the Beeb are continuing the series featuring superannuated, ex-premiership footballers on past harrowing world events with

    Jamie Redknapp revisits Rwanda

    Robbie Fowler retraces the Armenian Genocide and

    Steve Mcmanaman on the trail of the Khmer Rouge

  28. Watch in awe - the insight, the empathy, the emotion...

  29. @13thDuke:

    You've missed out the highlight of the series:

    Paul Gascoigne reads excerpts from Anne Frank's Diaries

    Apparently, he does all the voices himsen, like.

  30. @Swift

    There may not have been intent to offend, but I think singing that you'll never be slaves on a continent your nation spent hundreds of years enslaving is pretty crass.

    And remember that any older black South African was to all intents and purposes treated as a slave in his lifetime.

    A bit like American supporters going to Iraq and singing "The USA never shall be bombed and occupied".

  31. Whoever gave the green light for that reallly needs to lose their job immediately. I cant think of many things as absurd/inappropriate as Shearer revisiting Apartheid, its beyond parody. Shearer is the most boring, soulless entity I've ever seen on my TV, he even slightly beats Steve Davis on that front. I dont think he even has mind or consciousness, he is a materialists dream, a purely mechanical clockwork man.

  32. God Save the Queen is just appalling and vile full stop. I absolutely despise it.

  33. Didn't Beeb 3 do one with the WAGs visiting the townships?

    There was a nice comment on Whaddya pointing out that you can't be a WAG, you're a wife OR girlfriend, but that acronym has never caught on for some reason.

    Someone else pointed out that if she thought you couldn't be a wife AND girlfriend, she didn't know much about John Terry.

  34. montana

    *I don't need to put a smiley after that, do I?
    nah but you had me worried for a nano second!


    posted your request on waddya....


    I got as far as

    Shearer: "so when you were segregated how did you feel about that?"

  35. @Jay

    Agree with you on that. I've always said I'll start singing it when they change the words to "Marx save the Republic", but it'll be difficult to fit the words in.

    Even the tune's a dreadful, turgid old dirge. I've already suggested ad nauseam that we should adopt Radiohead's gorgeous National Anthem, so making ourselves the coolest country in the world, but I haven't drummed up much popular support as yet.

  36. @Spike:

    It's nothing at all like the Yanks singing that. In my opinion.

    I should add, I've had this deep and abiding fucking dislike of Alan Shearer since he scored a hat trick at Elland Road in his Blackburn days, 3-3 final score, 1993-94 season.


  37. Happy frog. I don't know who Shearer is. There are still some holocaust survivors too.

    France Inter good now...................;

  38. On the Today programme, they're saying that the markets are worried that some of the weaker European economies may default on their debts.

    What, like the markets did?

    If only I were president of the world, I'd have the banks and traders bailing everyone else out sharpish.

    Oi, markets! Your round! Yes, isn't it tragic? You'll have to forget the champagne and drink bitter like everyone else.

  39. G'day Spike
    Do you know GolemXIV from Cif ?
    Trying to find recording of Didier Porte.

  40. Do you remember that bit from I'm Alan Partridge when Partridge is trying to flog some his programme ideas to Tony Hayers, BBC chief of programming?

    'Shearer on Apartheid' would have been thrown out by the Partidge scriptwriters as too ridiculous compared with 'monkey tennis' and 'Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank'.

  41. Morning all

    Well you learn something different every day!!

    According to some posts on WADDYA BA has a policy of not allowing male passengers to sit next to unaccompanied children.Yet BA deny that they are being sexist.

    The rad fem mantra 'all men are rapists' is bad enough.But the rad fem mantra 'all men are paedos'somehow seems even worse.Nevetheless the fact that the BA has this offensive policy shows just how much the poisonous ideology of the likes of Campbell,Bindel and Bidisha has had an impact.And that we shouldn,t simply dismiss rad fems like them as being inconsequentual cranks.Men do face growing levels of gender discrimination.And there 'vulnerable' place in the world of children is just one example of that.

  42. Quantas also had that policy, Paul, its been around a few years now. The Guardian, enemies of discrimination and prejudice, never said a word. A good example of Graun integrity.

    "'Shearer on Apartheid' would have been thrown out by the Partidge scriptwriters as too ridiculous compared with 'monkey tennis' and 'Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank'."


  43. @frog2

    Hi. No, I don't know them, sorry.


    I'll second that. I've just commented on Whaddya. A whole generation of kids is growing up with the idea that the world is primarily an awful, dangerous place full of killers and paedophiles. I shudder to think how they're going to turn out.

  44. gandolfo,


    I just saw that as well about BA's policy. Gobsmacking.

  45. the same thing happpened to me as 'BTTP''s example. Put a toddler back on its feet twenty years' ago in Wareham -- Ma came rushing over looking daggers. Stranger Danger.

  46. The BA policy is news to you?

    Damn it, my proximity to MRA blogs is beginning to worry me, to me this is pretty old news ...

  47. I got stopped by Plod earlier this year at Victoria station, tired and tearful daughter in tow wailing about "wanting mummy" after a "bring your daughter to work" day.

    An "is this your child?" conversation ensued, all very amusing for the passers-by, no doubt.

    Worse was to come - when I got home, impressed daughter came out with "daddy got arrested by the police".

    A fun time was subsequently had by all.

  48. Spîke
    Golem was a top commenter on the Gdn business page until he made his own blog --


    France Inter
    videos breaking up down here but goood value --


  49. elementary watson

    ''The BA policy is news to you?

    Damn it, my proximity to MRA blogs is beginning to worry me, to me this is pretty old news ...''

    As you,ve known about this for some time do you just accept it?Do you feel comfortable with the idea that because you are a man BA thinks you pose a danger to unaccompanied children?

  50. Oh that reminds me - Herzlichen Glueckwunsch fuer Sonntag, lieber Freund... dass die beste Mannschaft gewinnt! (England, selbstverstaendlich).

  51. Paul: The policy is sexist, it feeds on and reinforces society's fear of men when it comes to children, which in turn leads to men being shut out of children's lives (often their own), reinforces women's roles as child-carers (because letting men do this would be dangerous) and damages children's ability to be able to trust adult men in the same way they are taught to trust adult women.

    But I guess I've resigned to the fact I'm not trusted with children due to my gender, even if that means despairing from time to time and enviously noting how happy women seem when they play with little children without having to worry what people might think of their proximity to these children.

    If the guy with the "You're not angry enough!" stick is around, he is welcome to beat me with it; however, I don't see how society's trust in men's relationships to children is improved when more men get angry about it ...

  52. Swifty: As I guess there are lots of people here who care a lot more about England's team than I care about Germany's team (and as I was frankly bored by the lacklusterity of the German team playing on Wednesday- if you really want to congratulate me, congratulate for not having fallen asleep during the game), I'll be all for England on Sunday.

  53. Have you ever noticed that right wing fuckwits on CiF's evidence for their views consists entirely of spurious anecdotal evidence?

    It's like when Viz magazine used to do the 'lame to fame' column when you could write in absolutely piss poor claims to fame such as:

    "my ex-boss says she once sucked off Gary Wilmott after he had performed at Southampton Mayflower Theatre, and she was working in the pub next door at the time."


    Andy McCluskey and another member of OMD went to my school, but they'd left about 5 years before I started.

    It's the same with the trolls on CiF. 'Lame to Swivel' or something.

    There was a priceless one today on Rhydian James disability article, where the posters entire anti-disability benefit philosophy centres on:

    "Every working day I have to cross the Severn Bridge to get to work. I'm amazed by how many times I'm delayed at the toll booths by cars with disability passes who are seeking free passage. Far too frequently these cars include BMW's, Jaguars, Audi's, Mercedes. If the drivers of these cars are able to afford to purchase and maintain these expensive cars then they should be expected to pay the tolls like myself and not be subsidised."

    Priceless. Genuinely piss funny. I also loved thfc123's anecdote that he's aware of a couple of blokes down the local that he knows for a fact have been committing benefit fraud.

    Therefore, We should dismantle the entire framework of civil society, stop all benefits revert to a non tax structure.

  54. @elementary:

    Good man, and heartening to see that England's beautiful playing style is winning friends all across Europe!

    How's things in your corner of Deutschland at the minute?

  55. La Rit:

    I've been singularly disgusted with much of the commentary on the matches I've watched thus far, the condescending sneering at the Ghanaians, was imho, boderline racist and then the England match t'other day. It really does spoil my enjoyment.

    I don't remember the names of the 2 guys who were doing the match commentary on ESPN for the Germany-Ghana match (they were both English, as it happens), but I had the same reaction. They never said anything overtly racist, but there was something in their tone throughout the match that just didn't sit well with me.

  56. Swifty: Weather warm and a bit cloudy, it's quiet on the streets, and whenever Germany plays, I realize someone should have taught all those goddamn vuvuzela players how to produce a sound with it which doesn't sound like it's been designed for torture.

    In other news, pupils in our parts of Germany are better in English and German than pupils in other parts of Germany (PISA test) and Germany's largest open air theatre will begin performing soon (saw the dress rehearsal of Schiller's "Die Jungfrau von Orleans" yesterday evening. Spectacular, but quite a bit Kitsch, I'm afraid).

  57. @elementary:

    Ah, nice part of the country you live in.

    Studied Maria Stuart as part of A level German, donkey's years ago. Passed me by a bit, to be honest.

  58. Oh, Maria Stuart ! Passed me by a bit, too - and mostly anyone else in my class, too. Why do they make British students read about English monarchy in a German play? That's ... weird ...

  59. Lord knows, mate. For what it's worth, from memory the complete reading list was:

    Dürrenmatt - Die Physiker (yeah, not bad)
    Hauptmann - Bahnwärter Thiel (best one of the lot, enjoyed it)
    Maria Stuart - ri-i-i-ight...
    Hesse - Narziß und Goldmund (second fave, enjoyed it a lot as well).

  60. Duke

    Agreed.But put another way it is extremely disheartening just how much stupidity there is.And how easy it is for those with power to control and manipulate the stupid.And stupidity isn,t just linked to academic achievement.For there are plenty of graduates and post graduates about who are also stupid-despite their apparent academic prowess.

    I believe that the in-bred aristos and in-bred chavs of this 'green and pleasant land' have an awful lot in common with each other.And between them seem to to underpin much of what is wrong in our society.So come the 'revolution' i,m afraid the chavs will have to go along with the aristo,s.And anyone who aspires to be either will be put on notice.

    Orf with their bleedin' heads that,s what i say.


  61. Morning all.

    The commentators here don't seem to even bother trying to disguise anything.

    So far, I've heard:

    'the cute little Japaneses'

    'the Swiss defence is the opposite of their cheese' (no holes).

    At least one mention of the irony of the Ivorians being called Ivorians, as opposed to, I guess, ebonians.

    Quite a bit of veiled discussion of 'commie work ethic' during the PRK v Brazil game, and...

    A fair few references to the French surrendering without a fight!!

    (I did giggle a bit at the last one, I'm afraid, despite my best efforts....)

    Throw into this what seems to be a bit of a side competition of which country has the best looking female supporters, and at times, it's like I'm watching World Cup coverage as imagined by Benny Hill, Ron Manager and Prince Phillip.

  62. Paul

    The logical conclusion of the 'No men near children' policies is to prohibit firemen attending house fires which may have trapped children and a women only policy in Police forces. No soldier may carry a child to safety , ambulance men must drive on by and lifeguards wave from a safe distance to children washed out to sea from the beach.

    There is something very sick about this fear that is being generated - comes from the oversexualisation in the media and advertising of all male'female relationships. Unfair to men and children alike.

    Quite why radfems fear men so much is a mystery to me.

  63. Can I remember what I had to read for English classes back then?

    Orwell - Animal Farm
    Salinger - Catcher in the Rye
    Williams - A Streetcar named Desire

    Don't remember anything else.

    No Shakespeare there - might be the reason I like Will far more than Schiller and Brecht, those two guys never let you alone for one single month ...

  64. Duke

    I should have clarified that my definition of a CHAV includes the nouveau riche.So come the revolution chavs like Kelvin MacKenzie,Richard Littlejohn,Piers Morgan,Alistair Campbell and Cherie Blair would all be in the firing line.

    @Hi Leni and James

  65. @elementary:

    Interesting list. I was having this same chat with a good German friend of mine a while ago, she told me her English teacher (back in the 80s) had set the class Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" as a "challenge".

    Now, I like Faulkner, but I'm not sure a class of 17 year old German (or English, come to think of it) kids would necessarily get much out of that particular book...

  66. Chaucer - Prologue.
    Shakespeare - M of V, Macbeth, R & J.
    Harper Lee - TKaMB
    Orwell - 1984 & AF

    Schindlers Ark
    Schaffer - Equs
    Testament of Youth!

  67. Montana:

    Glad you thought so too. If you have time, check out the Duke's link to the WSC footie boards, it is pretty funny - they're up in arms about the commentating...

    "Shearer is the most boring, soulless entity I've ever seen on my TV, he even slightly beats Steve Davis on that front"

    at least Steve Davis has that one redemming quality - he's an avid collector of northern soul records! Can just see him now at Wigan Casino sniffing amphetamines and dancing like a loon with his Bermo's on ;0)

  68. Ah, "The Sound and the Fury", the book I (25 or 26 at the time) considered at first to be a morbid joke by the publisher. Surely, I thought, this incoherent chatter can't be the novel so many intelligent people hold in such a high regard ...

    Well, it probably is, and I should stop calling myself Shirley.

  69. @elementary:

    Well, I've come round to it a bit as I've got older. I wouldn't rate it as my favourite (probably go with The Town or As I Lay Dying if I was forced to choose), but it gives a bit more insight into the steamy soap opera lives of the good (and bad) folk of Yoknapatawpha County, Mississippi.

  70. Lineker just made me chuckle about the Brazil Portugal match: "We've consulted our lawyers, and apparently any less that 4 all and we can sue". At least that's what I think he said...

  71. God pre-mod is frustrating me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

  72. Elementary:

    I've tried several times to read the Sound and the Fury, it's just one of those books I've given up on.

  73. What did you get premod for, Rit? I have now gone 14 months without a premod, though my deletion count has been rising again lately, always a sign of things to come...

  74. Feel like I've been left out of the pre-mod club. What exactly does it entail?

  75. Fess up La Rit, whom did you address as a pudenda?

  76. SK

    Its when al your posts are premoderated - ie they get submitted to the mods rather than appearing on the thread, 80% of posts never appear, and those that do tend to appear about 4 hours later, so you cant actually debate with anyone.

  77. That sounds pretty shit. When does that end then?

  78. Jay/Turminder:

    It was being rude to Imogen on the waddaya yesterday. Also I forgot, I told Professor Plums to stick his self righteous indignation where the sun don't shine ;0)

    actually, Jay, to be fair, they're a bit quicker off the mark than the last time - time lapse is about 10 minutes at the moment.


    As you are never overtly rude to anyone nor do you go for the savage attack dog mode as I sometimes do, esp. when pissed off and a bit pissed, I don't think you'll ever have to worry about the pre-mod. It's a right pain in the arse, although to be fair, I had a surprising pre-warn e-mail from Isabella Mackie and I agreed to cool me jets ;0)

  79. kermit:

    It is a bit shit. I've got to be careful though as it's happened twice this year - don't want to get meself banned :(

  80. Turminder:

    How's your Da' holding up?

  81. La Rit was it for calling Imogen clueless?

    My favourite bit of commentating so far has been when the bloke on the Beeb said that one of the Algerians had a big nose!

  82. "That sounds pretty shit. When does that end then?"

    Depends how naughty you've been, can be a few days, or a month, or longer. And they rarely tell you how long the sentence is, nice touch.

  83. Jen:

    I think it was the 'clueless' quip that did for me ;) oh and the pop at his Majesty Plums....

  84. Alan Green and Chris Waddle are having a right old moan on Five Live about Portugal - Brazil.

    Got to say, (T)Waddle's using the "footballer's past tense" beautifully, though - he truly is a master of the language. Not even Keegan could top him at the moment, which is remarkable given it was Wor Kev (I believe) who introduced that particular verb aspect into English.

  85. Ok ta, LaRit. Had mystery internal bleeding, 10 unit IV.. Hopefully on the mend now : )

    Is making me feel a wee bit stressed, I mean 40 0r 50 years ago he'd have just bled out there...

    Plums wants a good slap, and that wee shit Sweeting too, not getting into any Cif battles the now..

  86. Yeah what is that Sweeting guy on, I've noticed that he is a bit weird before but he is really taking the piss now.

  87. La Rit - you're right, although it's not for want of inclination or opportunity. I'm incredibly cagey about other users making stuff 'difficult' with my employers, and there's no shortage of vindictive ACAB monkeys on CiF who would rather play the man than the ball. I swear occasionally for emphasis, but I generally try to tone down what I feel like saying and if that isn't possible, say nothing at all. For example, Bru once accused me of threatening to shoot her, and I was beset by anxieties about it for a while. Stupid really, but free speech and the police don't really mix, and never more so than when it's one of their own 'bringing the force into disrepute'. When I say I feel left out of the pre-mod club, unpleasant though it sounds, I'm only half joking. I don't intend to be a copper all my life and I have a shitlist as long as my arm of people who are fucking getting it in the event.

  88. Turminder:

    God, the internal bleeding sounds a bit hairy, but glad he's OK now. I'll keep rooting for him if it's OK with you ;0) Just don't let any medical professionals give you the run around either, with my Dad, he was supposed to have an emergency by-pass and then they changed their minds. The rest is history I'm afraid. If you think something's not right - push and complain.

    Can understand you not wanting to get into any stressful battles and wind-ups with the likes of the Prince of plums or Sweeting, who as Jen points out is getting weirder every time he posts....

  89. Kermit:

    "I generally try to tone down what I feel like saying and if that isn't possible, say nothing at all"

    You have restraint, which is a good discipline to have, I could do with more of it - and not just on CiF!!

    "Bru once accused me of threatening to shoot her, and I was beset by anxieties about it for a while. Stupid really, but free speech and the police don't really mix"

    This is what I don't get, some posters think they can say what they like - it's outrageous, but a little mild ribbing back can get you into all kinds of hot water.

    I look forward to you letting rip though when your Uniform days are over ;)

  90. Kermit:

    Speaking of vindictive fuckers - ArdennesPate posted this about me on a thread a while back, I've saved it for posterity.... it's beyond the pale as personal abuse and specualtion about me, my life and my person it's a corker...

    "LaRitournelle - you're always one of the most abusive posters on CiF. Troll indeed. Reading your abusive posts to others, I've often wondered what makes you feel the need to be so unpleasant.

    Take some basic ignorance and combine it with a dash of denial.

    Stir in some hate, spite and envy - go on, as much as you like...

    Add a pinch of mediocrity and a large dollop of laziness. Put it in a cake tin lined with five kilos of lard and bake it in a so-so comprehensive school for eight years, a former poly for three years and a boring job in local government for life.

    et voila, one bitter and twisted CIF socialist who hates anyone who's done better in life than they have, ie: everyone else"

    i've never even worked in local govt!!!

    What an utterly nasty, unpleasant bit of work he is. Oh, he votes UkIP too

  91. Yeah, tell me about it. She was banging on about her Breakfast-at-Tiffany's,, hob-nobbing, Eurocrat lifestyle (as she does), and all I said was "when I hear the words 'glitzy fundraiser', I reach for my gun", and she went postal. Wouldn't let it drop.

  92. "all I said was "when I hear the words 'glitzy fundraiser', I reach for my gun", and she went postal."

    You hit the rawest of raw nerves then as she presumably is a 'glitzy fundraiser'! Never had much dealings with her tbh - but plenty with the likes of the one who thinks he's Pate.

  93. Turminder

    Sorry to hear about your dad.Hope he soon makes a full recovery.


    I,ve been in pre mod a couple of times.And so i tend to try and avoid those situations that put me there in the first place.Easier said than done i know bearing in mind some of the wankers on CIF.


    Was indifferent to Bru until relatively recently but have since recognized that s/he is an expert in twisting things around so s/he comes out smelling of roses.Accusing you of threatening to shoot him/her however is pretty OTT even by his/her standards.

  94. Turminder
    good to hear your dad's getting better

    Bru posts to provoke...so many of her posts are simple trolling....

    On the North Korea-Ivory Coast live thread discussing phobias....quite bizarre some phobias wooden spoons??? anyway I had a phobia of metal stairs going up or down...strangely my dog has the same....

  95. UKIP. Nuff said. We'd be wearing otter skins and bartering wurzels if those cretins has their way.

    Had my share of ad hominem attacks. The Porter threads were particularly fertile ground. The kinds of people who equate the UK in 2010 with the GDR in 1978 are always going to have pretty lurid imaginations.

  96. speedkermit

    I work for the UKBA - so I sympathise. People hate us nearly as much as the ACABs hate you guys. And I have to be careful for pretty much the same reasons - there are times when I'd really love to let rip but right now I need this job and can't afford to screw it up.

    PS: I know a bloke in Sheffield who actually has ACAB tattooed on his foerhead.

  97. Thanx for the concern guys! ; ) x

    What's ACAB?

  98. Ah, Every polis is illegitimate?

  99. turminder

    ACAB = All Coppers Are Bastards

  100. "All coppers are bastards". I could maybe agree with "some coppers are bastards", but I don't suppose anyone wants that acronym tattooed on their forehead in South Yorkshire!

    sheffpixie... Sheffield? UKBA? I don't suppose you're doing law at Hallam as well are you...?

  101. Speedkermit

    No, my college days are far behind me sadly. I got the feeling you are in Sth Yorks somewhere too. Am I right?

  102. Speedkermit

    SCAB - not a good idea round here. Were you in Sth Yorks during that time?

  103. Paul:

    It's a delicate path at times!


    They (UKIP) are deranged recidivists - that's for sure ;)


    don't laugh, but I had a crush on a guy who (weirdly as it turns out) looked exactly like Tim Roth, had and anarchy 'A' tatooed between his eyebrows and had to black German Shepherd dogs.... god, the fella's we look on with favour when we're 14!

  104. Not all coppers are bastards - our local Bobbies were dragged into the Miners strike - mild mannered country-bumpkin Bobbies doing Fatcher's dirty work. I used to work in a hotel as a pot washer when I was at school and they would always pop in for a cup of tea on their rounds.... I got into a bit of argy-bargy about the Miners and one of them took off his helmet and it was covered in 'Dig deep for the Miner's' stickers..... subversive no?

  105. Just heard on news that Alan Plater has died. another working class hero bites the dust.

    La Rit

    Am not laughing - just very glad that I'm not the only one who had what my mother would call 'unsuitable' crushes in my youth and in her case, caused her to call the police on at least one occasion.

  106. Sheff:

    I heard the news too. Very sad about Alan Plater ;(

    Re: unsuitable boys - I think my Mother thought they were all unsuitable!!!!

  107. Damn. Must remember to copy before hitting "post comment". Been 404'd and have to write it again.

    My sister had problems with the South Yorks police and she lives on the Isle of Wight and hadn't even been in Yorkshire. Don't remember the details, I'll have to ask her. I think it was some sort of guilt-by-association crap.

    The only set book I can remember:

    Clayhanger. Warmly recommended for anyone with insomnia.

  108. "Re: unsuitable boys - I think my Mother thought they were all unsuitable!!!!"

    Mine too!!

  109. james

    The more 'unsuitable' the more fun in my experience.

    Re set books...

    Henry iv part one (Shakespeare)...great raunchy play.
    The Trumpet Major (Hardy)

    ...are the only ones I can remember but it was eons ago.


    Sth Yorks police survived the miners strike but had a collective nervous breakdown after Hillsborough and are now much improved I'm told.

  110. For some reason my mother always wanted to know whether a girl was catholic or not.She could have been the town bike but if she was catholic that gave her a few brownie points in my mothers warped estimation.Not that i ever took much notice of anything either of my parents said mind!

  111. My mum tended to just be relieved that she was a real person, to be honest!

  112. Sheffpixie - I was twelve in 1984, but I've heard some pretty hair-raising stuff. I don't get the impression that anyone involved was particularly proud of it. Once the Met had fucked off with their overtime payments, SYP were left to police some pretty embittered communities. Many had lived there all their lives and weren't especially welcome after that, even the ones who ended up being sole breadwinners for extended families who were out of work. The police side is something people don't particularly care to hear, but it's fascinating nonetheless. There's more left who remember Hillsborough and that's a pretty sore subject too. As far as collective guilt goes, there's a lot less over that.

  113. Speedkermit

    Yeah, tell me about it. She was banging on about her Breakfast-at-Tiffany's,, hob-nobbing, Eurocrat lifestyle (as she does), and all I said was "when I hear the words 'glitzy fundraiser', I reach for my gun", and she went postal. Wouldn't let it drop.

    Oh, the irony -- it's just too rich. Hope Monkeyfish pops by and sees that.

    You know, for as big a foul-mouthed bitch as many people think I am, I have never been in pre-mod. TBH, this place is one of the reasons why, though. Usually, when I really want to have a go at someone, I do it here and then I can be a bit more restrained on Cif.

  114. She could have been the town bike but if she was catholic

    Where I come from, it's pretty much a given that they are...

    (insert winking smiley here)

  115. pfffffff it's hot. and when your office is a pre-fab steel box and the aircon stops working. blimey. think i've dropped a dress size.


    sorry to hear about your dad, TX - but glad he's on the mend. hope that continues apace.

    from the look of things, the set texts for english don't so much change as revolve. mine included R&J (of course), Mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye, Streetcar, Tess, Chaucer (can't remember which one - 'twas the erst morwe mai'?) all of which i think mentioned by others.

  116. sorry - anally retentive corrections department - that should be twas the erste morwe mai...

  117. Arec Balrin on the disability and carers threads - he's a blast!!

    "But to flesh out my policy suggestion we need to look at the really important question: why does the Pentagon have so many toilets? Go on, someone answer it."

  118. In English Classes at skool, I gone done:

    Of mice and men
    R and J
    Seamus Heaney
    and almost certainly some other stuff I can't remember.

    A level:

    Bill Bryson (no, seriously)
    Penelope Lively
    James Joyce
    King Lear

    Other than 'Of Mice and Men', not exactly inspiring stuff really, imo.
    (Luckily I liked reading anyway, otherwise I may have been put off it)!

  119. MW

    I've been aware of this site for a while now, but was always reluctant to join in because I somehow imagined it was invite only. Don't know why...

    Anyway, I'm hoping I don't have to be quite so guarded here. Time will tell I suppose.

  120. Oh, and 'An Inspector Calls'.

    Just 'membered that one!

  121. I did the first ever English GCSE and it was Macbeth, Tale of Two Cities and Cider With Rosie (with a bit of Ted Hughes thrown in).

    I recall seeing a reading list for English at University of Sheff that had Glamorama by Brett Easton Ellis on it and feeling particularly impressed.

  122. Spike:

    "Just been 404'd"

    If you hit the 'back' button - you return to the page and get your post back -ready to cut n paste before trying again.

    Also works when you get the 'Sorry' message. ;)

  123. oh god, portrait of the artist as a young man.

    thanks for reminding me of that. brrrrrrrr.

    speedy! invite-only? peh. that's for low-rent places like asmallworld...

  124. My English teacher lent me American Psycho to read, although it wasn't on the curriculum.

    (there were enough kids in my school trying to kill each other already, throwing a 'how to' manual into the mix wouldn't have been the smartest move....)

  125. Right you lefties out there, you know who you are, want to see some solidarity....general strike today in Italy...!!!

    how about 1 million out on the streets of various cities in Italy today to protest about the proposed government cuts....have a look lots of lovely red flags!..

  126. speedkermit

    You don't have be be so guarded here - but remember its public and we have a lot of lurkers - not all benign - particularly our archive obsessive, bitey.

    As its Friday evening and our resident DJ has gone walkabout (where the hell are you BW?) - here's a choon to start the weekend off.

  127. @Sheff

    I,ve notice Arec Bairin-dunno whether he,s a re-incarnation though.Gets very confusing



    Jude the Obscure
    Waiting for Godot
    Sons and Lovers
    One of the Canterbury Tales(can,t remember which one)
    King Lear


    Very true.The girls from Our Ladys Convent High School were well known for their charms and did the Servite Sisters proud with their well deserved reputation.:-)

  128. 'O' level: MacBeth
    Julius Ceasar
    Far From the Madding Crowd
    Animal Farm
    War Poets

    can't remember the others.......

    A level: Coriolanus
    Kongi's Harvest
    Great Gatsby
    A House for Mr Biswas
    Gerard Manley Hopkins
    My Life as a Dog (?)

  129. @james

    fack orf....ya naw when it was like proper exams not like rubbish inglish........

  130. James Dixon

    Loved American Psycho. It was really quite unlike anything I'd ever read before. I would kill to have read a feminist take on that on CiF. Glamorama was something else though - the first half was a pastiche on Vile Bodies and it mutated halfway through into something entirely awful and unprecedented. The plane crash scene is the most harrowing half a dozen pages I've ever read, with the possible exception of 'Guts' by Palahniuk. Lunar Park was pretty pedestrian in comparison.

    I said 'pastiche' in a post, whatta pseud...

  131. Paul,

    did Waiting for Godot as well for my Scottish Higher (equivalent of A level)

    Additionally- plays: Educating Rita and Macbeth.

    Books- Sunset Song by Lewis Grassic Gibbon- Wonderful.

    The Great Gatsby- Wonderful.

    Tess of the Durbervilles- take a warm bath, swallow 120 paracetamol, get the razor blades out and settle down. And boring as fuck as well.

    Like watching depressed paint dry.

  132. speedkermit

    I was twelve in 1984, but I've heard some pretty hair-raising stuff

    If you come to the next Sheffield get together we'll have to mull over old times. We're a very congenial bunch - you might enjoy it!

  133. american psycho god couldn't bring myself to read some of that just skipped the pages wot a wuzz...I had nightmares of being chased for me skin after reading silence of the lambs......


    was your teacher....well wierd or had she thought of it as careers advice ;P) ??

  134. Gandolfo

    Talking of proper exams... I don't know if anyone was tragic enough to watch 'Junior Apprentice', but I laughed when one of the candidates talked about how nine A* results in his GCSE's put him "in the top ten percent in the country".

  135. oh god i've become 'mogen bleck.... wierd???

    NO weird

  136. above lol to Gandolfo.

    This one > lol < to SpeedKermit's pastiche comment.

    American Psycho had a hell of an impact on me too. Pretty intense stuff, although I was gripped as much as I was repulsed.

    I actually have Glamorama in my 'to read' pile, and I think it might have just got bumped up a few places now.

  137. @La Rit

    Hitting back works for me on CiF but not here. I just get an empty box when I go back.

  138. Your Grace

    Like watching depressed paint dry.

    I'd hate to fall out with you but how can you say such a thing about Tess! As a 14 year old I spent a glorious few days reading and weeping - it was bliss.

    Am currently reading Soldiers of Salamis by Javier Cercas - a really interesting look back at an aspect of the Spanish civil war

  139. SK
    alas I can't see such gems as "Junior Apprentice" but I can imagine they really demonstrated their "intellect".....!!

    BTW my brother in law is a copper and despite my yooth being spent on demos shouting "Maggie Thatcher's Boot Boys" I am now able to differentiate between good cop bad cop...

  140. Gandolfo

    Haha - no, he was one of those quality teachers, and he frequently lent me books that I couldn't get from the school library.

    (Although I did have to promise not to tell anyone where I'd got that particular book from, and I did get a half-joking instruction/order not to 'get any ideas'...)

  141. SpeedKermit:

    "The police side is something people don't particularly care to hear, but it's fascinating nonetheless. There's more left who remember Hillsborough and that's a pretty sore subject too"

    I think it's an important side that needs to be told - when local Police have to effectively behave like an army in a vicous ideological neo-liberal war on behalf of Fatcher to break the Unions, I would have thought it would have caused rifts in communties in s.Yorks which may well never heal. The old 'divide and rule' in action.

    WRT to Hillsborough - two of my family members (3rd cousins) survived but the devastation it wrought on Liverpool as a city and Liverpool FC was unquantifiable. The mismanagement of the policing (what the hell was going on?) to the Sun newspaper printing pictures of people (who people would know) in close-up who had been crushed to death and then calling the Liverpool fans for everything - lying about them, even as I write I am inflamed with rage. It's something that's forever imprinted on my brain and gives me a terrible pain when I think about it.

    Anyway, I for one am glad you took the plung and posted on here, as Hank said t'other day, you make me think and you're always up for a debate - that's a good thing!

  142. Took the plung? That's a new one ;)

  143. We were an 'experimental year' at O Level.

    So we did:

    C.S. Forester, The Gun
    Gerald Durrell, My Family and Other Animals
    Bernard Shaw, Androcles and the Lion, Pygmalion
    Poems: Larkin, Spender, Macneice.

  144. Gandolfo:

    "oh god i've become 'mogen bleck.... wierd???"

    I can't type for laffing ;0)

  145. Duke

    There were other books as well .I think we had 8 in total.But 'watching paint dry 'is an apt way of describing some of them.

    Of course it was Waiting for Godot that first alerted me to the fact that hanging yourself may cause an erection.Something that many Tories have toyed with-allegedly.

  146. Re the police
    Pasolini (Italian filmaker, poet and political activist) actually argued that the student demos in the 60s and 70s in Italy should not vent their anger against the police as often they were the true working class being "sons of the poor south" and were being used by the state. He believed that most of the students were in fact middle class bourgeoise who had hijacked "the cause" for themselves were essentially hedonistic and should be attacking the political and legal system in Italy, not the police. Interesting analysis of those times and maybe also a bit now....

  147. Spike:

    sorry, I thought you were taling about CiF ;( that's a pain in the bum.

    Book that repulsed me the most?

    Junky by William S. Burroughs I was about 18 and I found it deeply disturbing to read.

  148. Oh bloody hell, 2 glasses of whine and I'm missing out words.....

  149. This comment has been removed by the author.

  150. La Rit

    Mike figgis included a local policeman in his documentary about the strike - he was very poignant.

  151. Sheffpixie - cheers for the invite, it would be pleasure, although not being torn limb from limb by angry miners is the bare minimum I expect from a congenial night out, so be sure to warn the group! There was time when other coppers were the only people I knew in Sheffield so I'm always happy to extend myself.

    James Dixon:

    Talking of the 'to read' pile, my Inspector lent me Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanance and I need to know whether I'm wasting my time. Apperently her husband wants to read it. Anyone?


    I actually bought several copies of Class War in my impressionable youth, which included the seminal 'Hospitalised Copper of the Week' feature, which was essentially a photograph of some bobby with blood streaming down his face. It's never too late to enlist!

  152. LaRit
    Oh bloody hell, 2 glasses of whine and I'm missing out words....

    whine it's fecking WINE ;))))))
    you are 'mogen bleck and I claim my £20 quid!!!

  153. Sheff,

    the delights of English literature, differences of opinion!

    Quite frankly, sitting down reading 'Tess of the D'urbervilles' is one of those experiences that makes you uncomfortably aware how many muscles there are in your arse.

    And you can stick 'Passage to India' on that list as well ;)

  154. Speedkermit

    on 'Zen...', Well, I'd have let you know in the next day or two, but it's just been bumped for 'Glamorama' (No, honestly..)

    But, if it helps, it was next because I've been told to read it by a few people now, who said it was worth reading.....

  155. I must admit that I never understood the Liverpudlian orgy of grief over Kenneth Bigley. Yes, his killing was horrible and I don't like anyone getting snuffed, let alone like that, but I'd tend to save my sympathy for people who didn't go out to Iraq to make shitloads of money being fully aware of the risks.

    I was far more distressed by the killing of Margaret Hassan, but the aid worker didn't get a fraction the media coverage. Perhaps because she was of Irish extraction and married to an Iraqi? Perhaps because she was helping Iraqi children? Who knows?

  156. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle

    yep interesting....philosophical motorbike road trip....essentially romanticism versus classic .....now if you're into that then you'll love it if not you may slash your wrists

  157. 100 years of solitude......another arse numbing read...

  158. Paul

    Of course it was Waiting for Godot that first alerted me to the fact that hanging yourself may cause an erection.Something that many Tories have toyed with-allegedly.

    There is a great play you ought to see if you get the chance called The Ruling Class by Peter Barnes. We did it in Sheffield years ago. It includes a scene where an old Earl accidently kills himself going through his nightly ritual of auto erotic strangulation (in a tutu).

    It was also made into a film with Peter O'Toole and Arthur Lowe. Very funny piss take of the British aristocracy and ruling classes.

  159. If we're moving on to Pasolini, no book requires as strong a stomach as his film "Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom". Ah, the scene where they all sit down to eat shit from tureens... I couldn't face stew for a while after that.

    Of course, if you want to traumatise the sensitive with the written word, de Sade's Juliette is just the thing.

  160. Gandolfo:

    20 quid on it's way to you ;) you Blekked me!

    I can recommend the Zen and the Art of.... another of those books I read because I was madly in love with my narcissistic boyfriend of the time... it's a good read, but it's been yurrz.

    Just watching Unreported World on C4 - to go back to Montana's post about unemployment and need in the US - people who are in work in the States are queuing for food handouts... surprise, surprise, in Chicago, they are are all Black. Apparently 37 million people in the States rely on food handouts......

    This will the the UK very soon.

  161. I watched Audition last night and it was pretty disturbing.

    We did Jude the Obscure rather than Tess for O level and I thought it was really dull and overwrought, kilt for we are too many or some such nonsense.

    We also did The Day of the Triffids as well and that was ace.

  162. And surprise, surprise, there's an epidemic of homeless people because of the sub-prime market collapse.

    It is fucking criminal.

  163. speedkermit

    I remember reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance years ago. Its fine if you're an old hippy, which some say i am. Is there a bit of hippy in you too?

  164. Jennifera:

    John Wyndam - one of the most ignored and brilliant writers to come from this country.

    The Chrysalids is one of my all time favourites.

  165. "Like watching depressed paint dry."

    God, yes...

  166. day of the Triffids....

    does anyone remember the BBC series (the 80's one James and SK) now that was spookey..that really fuelled my paranoia of nuclear doom....

  167. ah - missed developments - I love My Family and Other Animals, PeterJ! Possibly because i read it after watching the TV series, and never had to study it - that can take all the fun out of it...

    never got to grips with 'zen & taomm' meself, speedy, but am not sure really tried that hard.

    a favourite from childhood was Momo by Michael Ende - sort of Orwell for kids (so, happy ending) - all about what's important in life and not 'buying in', in a wonderful fantastical setting...miss not having it here, actually. anyone sees that in the second-hand, grab it.

  168. Just been sent this great little video - which aptly demonstrates life's absurdities

  169. I also remember the 'my family and other animals' TV series with affection.

    (Insert BRIAN BLESSED joke here....)

  170. james - they did a remake a couple of years ago - it just wasn't the same....

    'bootle bumtrinket'


  171. Evening all

    Home from the Smoke.

    Pint of Speckled Hen.

    Chinese takeaway.

    Dalziel and Pascoe (or Diesel and Arsehole as my lad calls it) on't telly.


    Reading back, I nearly choked on me beer when I read Kermit telling us we would all be wearing otter skins and bartering wurzels under UKIP. :o)

    Hope everyone is well - hope you dad gets better soon, Turm.

  172. Bugger. Spain have scored a second and Chile are down to ten men.

  173. Duke

    I don,t want to alarm you but when describing her fascination for dutch dykes yesterday i,m sure Bru mentioned a trip to Holland was in the offing.Now i may well have done an 'imogen' and skimmed over her post too quickly but i,m pretty sure that,s what s/he said.

    Now bearing in mind Bru has a well known soft spot for those with a title i felt it was my duty to warn you.So if you should at some stage come upon a 'fashion addict' sitting astride a dyke in your adopted homeland i,d just clear my throat-a well known dutch greeting-and walk away.:-)

  174. spike - it's horrible, isn't it? the thought that chile will go out in favour of the Swiss, who have just been so, well, swiss...

    According to L'Equipe, the Chilean team has brought with it a flag found in the ruins after the earthquake and tsunami in February which killed over 500 people - they fly it at their training ground, Ponce saying "it's another motivation, we want to bring a bit of happiness to those who suffered the earthquake".

    For them and Spain to go through, Honduras have to turn out to be good, don't they?



  175. "So if you should at some stage come upon a 'fashion addict' sitting astride a dyke in your adopted homeland"

    Gay Pride was three weeks ago in France, Paul...


  176. "i,d just clear my throat-a well known dutch greeting-and walk away.:-)"

    nawh a nonchalant elbow and over she goes....

  177. BB

    I never actually figured out how to pronounce that Dalziel whatsit (never actually watched it), so when my Gran asks me to read her the TV guide, it's always been 'Inaudible mumble and Pascoe'.

  178. phillipa

    if switzerland draw against hondura then chile go through......is that right?

  179. Their their children, no bullying please.

  180. gandolfo - yes - but that seems unlikely (Honduras being the international equivalent of Leiston Town inadvertently making it far enough in the cup to meet a professional team). however, the MBM says that match is 'incident-free', so keep things crossed.

    have given up with the feckin' wifi - as long as I stay on the sofa and don't attempt to move the 'puter back to my 'workstation' (ha!), I's staying LAN.

    old school.

  181. I see that another over-paid, cheating, diving bastard, Torres, has 'fallen over' again and now Chile are down to ten men. Does any other reader have interesting stories about how there's no fucking justice in the world?

    PS, why is Pinochet not on the bench?

  182. come on chile......

    beautiful goal

  183. James

    It's "Dee-ell"

    We got a yellow card the other day for "diving" when it was clear from the slo-mo that our bloke had been elbowed in the chops and knocked off balance.

    I'd rather see Pinochet in the Dock than on the Bench.


    Thangyouverrmuch, I'm here all week...

  184. @Phil

    Have you been following whaddya?

    You have a message from Bracken...

    A meet up would be fun, Philippa et al. Happy to travel (good excuse to get the bike out). Just email with the details (address on my profile page).

    I think he fancies you, Phil. :-)

  185. PS, why is Pinochet not on the bench?

    dead....could be a valid reason!!!

  186. Aren't we a few years to late to get pinochet on the bench BB - the old bastard died in 2006 so got away with it. still I wouldn't object to digging him up and giving him a kicking just to make sure.

  187. Indeed, PB, come on Chile! I was in the process of bunging a fiver on Chile for the draw (at 100 /1) when they bloody scored, and my bet didn't go through. So I've either lost £500 or saved a fiver - either way I want Chile through and Spain out!

  188. Spike

    I,m in a puerile mood at the moment and when i saw the 'good excuse to get the bike out' i was tempted to make a cheeky response but refrained.

    @evening scherfig

  189. "PS, why is Pinochet not on the bench?"

    'Cause he's round at MaM's getting his arse kissed!!


    Ahhh. Dee-ell, cheers.

    (How's that work, then!?)

    Still, next time it's on, I won't have to suffer the '3 years at University and you can't even read TV-pigging-quick' speech.

  190. Yep. Cheers, Jack Straw, you made Thatcher a very happy old psychopath.

  191. @Paul

    I think Philippa's in shock.

  192. Philippa
    start chanting this a favorite when I lived in Chile.........!

  193. think bracken lives in brittany or something, that's a hell of a bike ride...

  194. Evening, Paul.

    btw, what is this subversive communist talk of Pinochet being dead? He is not dead! He will never die! His name is hallowed on Cif, and he will never be forgotten!

  195. sherfig

    yep must admit as soon as those commies raise their evil heads in chile they'll zapp his body with 2000 volts and he'll be back...he's not dead he's resting......