16 November 2010

16/11/10


We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. 
-Arthur Schopenhauer

380 comments:

  1. As expected Geert Wilders has forgiven PVV MP Eric Lucassen for not disclosing his past criminal offences for sexual misconduct and intimidation and has allowed him to stay in the party thus saving the Governments on seat majority.

    It’s like this- women wearing headscarves in Government and public office(as well as the burqa) is against Western values and will be banned, Immigrants who do not speak perfect Dutch should not be allowed to stay in the country. However, convicted sexual offending criminals who did not disclose their past are allowed to remain MP’s and play a crucial role in the passing of Government laws.

    The PVV are the “party of law and order” and campaigned particularly against neighbourhood violence (intimidation of neighbours etc), exactly one of the offences Lucassen has been done for!

    Wilders Western values- dontcha just love ‘em?

    This comes on top of the hypocrisy of the ruling party, the VVD, who campaigned when in opposition against Govt ministers holding dual nationality (one Minister held a Turkish passport and one a Moroccan as well as Dutch passports) who then gave a Dutch-Swedish dual nationality holder a ministerial post.

    Lastly, Nick Clegg was in the country yesterday. He was interviewed on the news (he speaks perfect Dutch as he’s half Dutch) and came across a right c*nt- or should that be right wing c*nt?.

    Clegg,
    rot op klootzak

    ReplyDelete
  2. Morning, your Grace.

    Klootzak? Is that anything like drittsek? I do hope so.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So basically the party of law and order lets us know that you can commit acts of sexual violence with relative impunity, as as long as you say sorry, and your victim isn't wearing a burqa?

    It's a confusing place, the west, these days.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Morning Peter,

    I think so. Klootzak literally means scrotum (or in Glaswegian "bawbag")but can also be used in the way we would call someone an arsehole or dickhead etc.

    "Rot op klootzak" means "get lost bawbag". Very apt I'm sure you'll agree.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Meerkatjie,

    that's it in a nutshell. The excuse is that it wasn't "sexual violence" but that he slept with young female recruits (when an army instructor) and was done for it. He has also been done for threats and intimidation of his neighbours.

    But he's white and Dutch so that's ok.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Indeed, your Grace.

    I just looked up why I associated 'drittsek' with politicians, and was reminded that it was applied to John Selwyn Gummer by his Norwegian ministerial counterpart in a dispute over sulphur dioxide emissions.

    So. wrong language, right sentiment. But you don't often find 'shitbag' in the diplomatic lexicon of any country.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...with relative impunity, as as long as you say sorry...

    Ok, that's it, then. I'm not going to join that bunch of wishy-washy, lickspittle bedwetters.

    I want full, unassailable impunity.

    I want legal immunity.

    And I ain't fucking saying I'm sorry. Never.

    Because I love this crazy power kick.

    Oops! Time for new boots and panties.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have decided I want to have Selfmademan's babies now!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh I do so love Selfmademan. Whoever s/he is, s/he's made my morning.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Whoah, simultaneous posting. Was it good for you too, baby?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Monkeyfish - from last night - I had a look at that Spiked online. Some of it was quite good actually but the rest as you said not so much.

    Jen - this made me laugh: '' I got to the point of verging on grasping some of it and then running away because it was difficult and made me feel uncomfortable. ;)''

    Snap!

    ReplyDelete
  12. princess,

    Spiked is much ridiculed for its contrarian posturing.

    There was a very good twitter pisstake of spiked called Spiked in the 18th Century

    a couple of the best ones were

    - Against the tyranny of "healthy-eating": three cheers for Marie Antoinette and the peasants right to eat cake

    - Smallpox Is Good For You: Mr. Richard NORTH exposes the lies of the vaccinators

    - Newton and his "Laws of Motion" - the tyranny of unwanted legislation

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  13. Another stunning day in East Yorks - the sunrise was class.

    Good to have a nice spell of weather for James' home visit.

    Mungo and I are back from walk which was bliss. With the sun low in the sky at this time of year the angle of the light is different and you see things that are 'invisible' at other times.

    Leni - if the old tales are right we could be in for a hard winter - the angled light shows the hedgerows with a delightful sheen of red. They are really loaded with berries this year...

    Fucking light has also sadly embarrassed me.

    Me glasses fell off me head (as they often do I have a tendency to sit on them and they kinda get out of shape). As I picked them up the angle of the light made a tiny shiny nameplate on the arms stand out.....I'd never seen it before ........me I've been wondering about ranting against the crap of the modern world and railing against consumer labels etc

    Some bastard has stuck a label on each arm which reads Giorgio Armani. I ask you what sort of tramp with attitude wears Armani.

    If me kids find out I'll be a laughing stock.

    I lost me last glasses when they fell off me head whilst pissed on the ferryboat in Hong Kong harbour - I was on me way to me sons wedding to a Fijian lass in Fiji at the time.

    I hurriedly got me latest specs in Sydney, must be about three years since now, and I've been giving the cunts unwitting free advertising ever since.

    I feel a right twat, indeed a violated right twat.

    There ought to be a law against this kind of abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tim&Meerkat - lot of dog nuts on UT - we have photo gallery were most have posted photo's of their dogs.

    Feel free to put a picture of yours.

    You modern kids have life so easy - you can't get pregnant down a computer line. I'm sure my sometime would have done so if you could.

    I remain convinced that one of ours is down to modern telecommunications though - I think one arrived from a telephone box whilst waiting for a taxi.

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  15. Duke - does playing about with the words work in Dutch....is there such a thing as a 'sack of kloots' or am I reading this all wrong?

    On my laypersons understanding it looks like I was an innocent at large and it was the kloots what done for me.

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  16. Deano

    It is indeed a beautiful day in these 'ere parts.

    Although I'll have to take your word for the sunrise....

    ;0)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Right I must be away to get on with the next installment of our assault on the bastard custodians of Incapacity B .

    laters all.

    good to see you around PCC - remember do not under any circumstance complete the questionnaire (IB/ESA 50) without advice and don't dream of going to a medical without a witness.


    Breaking News:
    Fucking bastard Prince William is getting Wed next year - that will take the public's attention for while whilst they get even more of a shafting

    ReplyDelete
  18. Good morning.

    Beautiful day here too.

    Waddya's getting quite entertaining these days. Which says a lot about the quality of the other stuff on CiF.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thought about another dog yet Chin/3P4? - there's sure to be one out there just waiting for you to come by.

    regards.

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  20. Yes, deano, and the answer is 'no'.

    Don't have enough time to give to another rescue dog or puppy right now. Mind you, we said the same thing 20 years ago & ended up with a two!

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's brilliant MsChin! Bru keeps digging and handing ammo to SMM. Pen's rant against meerkatjie is getting weirder and weirder, the tabs are patently not working. Kiz seems a bit lost.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "I am thinking of Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Littlejohn to name but two"

    ...clipped...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ah, the vicissitudes of freelancing. I worked 12 hours yesterday because I was snowed under. This morning, two jobs postponed and one cancelled. So I have about an hour's work left.

    So one hour of paid labour and paperwork today, then if nothing comes in, tomorrow, I'm looking at a day spent slouching around, posting and watching telly. I can't wait.

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  24. damnit, selfmade's follow-up has been removed, just as i was clipping. spoilsports

    ReplyDelete
  25. Darn, I should have done a' cut & shut' & posted SSMs latest over here. I wasn't expecting a deletion ..

    ReplyDelete
  26. Normally I have two tabs open, just for this eventuality Philippa - but alas I too have lost this one!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Why the hell was it deleted?

    Mod moves in mysterious ways, his blunders to perform.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ah, the kaleidoscopic vagaries of WADDYA, in all its oily, sticky wonderfulness.

    SelfMadeMan has just had a post deleted, at much the same time as SpecialBrut is doing her best imitation of the landlady of a dreary bed-and-breakfast establishment in a derelict and forlorn seaside town, telling the drooping and defeated guests what "real class" looks like, if you manage to capture it and poke it with a stick.

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  29. I lack class, I believe. I see that as a mark of distinction.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, sorry.

    Posted that without catching up first and now see everyone has it covered already.

    As you were, chaps.

    ReplyDelete
  31. deano,

    it wouldn't really work. Nuts is 'noten', peanuts 'pindas'.

    nuts in the male anatomy sense is 'testikels' so it's really just a coloquialism. If medve still posted he would be able to give further background.

    re Wills and Kate. Applying CiF right wing dingbat logic, I assume that they should not be allowed to breed at a cost to the state? Should the taxpayer have to pay for them to live a life on benefits popping them out?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh you have made me look at Waddya again, and I promised myself I wouldn't.

    Missed selfmademans post. :(

    On the plus side I have learned that real class is all about education and politeness (David Cameron is very polite, apparently he writes notes to the servants) and that you can't attain class you either have it or you don't!

    That's me buggered then, along with just about everyone else in the world.

    I won't be hurrying back there, my blood pressure can't take it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. A rare Waddya comment from me:

    "deano30
    16 November 2010 12:08PM

    ".......Basically real class is about politeness towards others and letting them have their say without sneering. I also never use foul language towards others. I prefer the American idea of class...."

    Is that the one were a poster allegedly shows a less fortunate friend generosity and then outs them as a recipient of your bountifulness 'gift' on public threads Bru. .........sure that's real class but not of a kind I would admire. .

    It's top of the class in spitefulness in my book
    "

    ReplyDelete
  34. @Atom

    SpecialBrut, you think? Or possibly BrutForMen?

    BTW, thanks for the landlady idea, I've extrapolated on it a little.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Spike - maybe you can shed some light on a recent demand from the tax peeps - "taxe pour frais de chambres de commerce etc etc etc " of €349 - which has just shown up.

    this is because i registered self-employed and stupidly told them i worked from home, yes?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Is it his character that attracted Kate? I don't mean to be cruel, but he does look an awful lot like his mum, which was all right for a woman, but a bit of a burden for a balding, young but middle-aged man.

    But then I'm probably horribly superficial.

    ReplyDelete
  37. @Phil

    Yep, you've got it in one. It's what's replaced the old Taxe Professionnelle.

    ReplyDelete
  38. @Philippa

    Looks like what was called "nominal use of house for business purposes" here, which I used to use to avoid any CGT problems at later dates.

    ReplyDelete
  39. OK, let's get this one parked.

    Dear Mme Expats

    You are of course absolutely right! Your unerring eye has discovered my secret - I am a selfmade man (though how you realized, I have no idea). And as a selfmade man who dragged himself up by his own bootstraps I have only the haziest sense of 'real class'. Growing up in the classless society of Turnip Street in the East End of London offered few opportunities to sample the fine arts, still less Greek cuisine, and all my efforts were devoted to building up a viable business.

    Now in my declining years I want to make up for lost time and to that end I have a proposition for you. Clearly you are well-versed in cultural matters, whilst also moving in only the best social circles (where they have the best chocolate) so perhaps you could bring me up to speed, class-wise? What I have in mind is that I accompany you to the ballet, galleries and receptions for the better sort of person (I would, of course, remove my hat so there is no need to fear embarrassment on that score). In essence I would sit at you feet (or under your tutelage) and in that way hope to learn enough to contribute to the debate with as much elan as your good self.

    I should stress that this would be a business transaction. I am not without means and I don't expect you to take declasses selfmade men under your wing out of the goodness of your own heart. On the contrary, if there is one thing that my business career has taught me it is that there's 'aught for naught' so I would be willing to pay top dollar (or, as it might be, top euro) for your mentoring. Which brings me to a rather tricky matter. Before embarking on this course of action I would want to be assured that you are absolutely out of the top drawer yourself and can indeed introduce me to high-end cultural events. It is not that I doubt your credentials but clearly I wouldn't want to shell out considerable amounts of moolah only to discover that all you could offer was a day trip to the Musee des Frites in Bruges and an introduction to Kate Middleton's cousin's hair stylist.

    If you could reassure me on that point then I think we are ready to move forward, real class-wise.

    Your dazzled pupil

    Selfmade

    PS Miss Meerkatje - despite my reference to being in my declining years I am by no means lacking in vigor should you still want to have my babies!

    ReplyDelete
  40. "Dear Mme Expats

    You are of course absolutely right! Your unerring eye has discovered my secret - I am a selfmade man (though how you realized, I have no idea). And as a selfmade man who dragged himself up by his own bootstraps I have only the haziest sense of 'real class'. Growing up in the classless society of Turnip Street in the East End of London offered few opportunities to sample the fine arts, still less Greek cuisine, and all my efforts were devoted to building up a viable business.

    Now in my declining years I want to make up for lost time and to that end I have a proposition for you. Clearly you are well-versed in cultural matters, whilst also moving in only the best social circles (where they have the best chocolate) so perhaps you could bring me up to speed, class-wise? What I have in mind is that I accompany you to the ballet, galleries and receptions for the better sort of person (I would, of course, remove my hat so there is no need to fear embarrassment on that score). In essence I would sit at you feet (or under your tutelage) and in that way hope to learn enough to contribute to the debate with as much elan as your good self.

    I should stress that this would be a business transaction. I am not without means and I don't expect you to take declasses selfmade men under your wing out of the goodness of your own heart. On the contrary, if there is one thing that my business career has taught me it is that there's 'aught for naught' so I would be willing to pay top dollar (or, as it might be, top euro) for your mentoring. Which brings me to a rather tricky matter. Before embarking on this course of action I would want to be assured that you are absolutely out of the top drawer yourself and can indeed introduce me to high-end cultural events. It is not that I doubt your credentials but clearly I wouldn't want to shell out considerable amounts of moolah only to discover that all you could offer was a day trip to the Musee des Frites in Bruges and an introduction to Kate Middleton's cousin's hair stylist.

    If you could reassure me on that point then I think we are ready to move forward, real class-wise.

    Your dazzled pupil

    Selfmade

    PS Miss Meerkatje - despite my reference to being in my declining years I am by no means lacking in vigor should you still want to have my babies!"

    I think I'm in love. It was Tim who wanted your babies, though, sadly. And I suspect he'd need a bit of Dutch courage to follow through...

    ReplyDelete
  41. arse - so i don't earn enough to pay income tax, but i have to pay this? think will get colleague to ring up and ask if i can get it reduced.

    a total of 34 notes support the calculation. fucked if i'm looking all that up in a dictionary.

    ReplyDelete
  42. SSM's latest post is so good. I've got to stop interrupting the book writing by giggling so much!

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  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  45. Woohoo! SelfManMade reads here.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Just sneaked home for lunch. Can't believe they deleted SMM - he's on such wonderful form too. Mind you the Bru wind up was becoming a bit obvious. Poor soul - she hasn't a clue...just goes on blithely digging her hole.

    A royal marriage huh? Well that'll cheer the nation up when they're choosing between food and heating this winter. Must remember to ask Bru what she'll be wearing to the wedding.

    Absolutely blessed day here - clear and blue and cold - can't bear the idea of spending the afternoon in the office...

    btw thanks for all the poems yesterday folks they were really lovely - we should do it more often.

    ReplyDelete
  47. >>I won't be hurrying back there, my blood pressure can't take it.

    With you there Jenn..

    Minister for social care on r4, just been asked, "you pay carers 45p PH, how the hell do you sleep at night?" Slimed an answer about respite care, bloke came back called it "absolute bunkum" : )

    ReplyDelete
  48. peterj - aye, but as that's 30% of what i made from that work this year, i may have to argue with them about the meaning of 'nominal'.

    [sigh]

    thanks for the parking, all! off to work now, see you later.

    ReplyDelete
  49. turminder - heard that - caller clearly on the verge of tears. very moving...

    ReplyDelete
  50. @Meerkatjie

    Shall I remove mine? After simultaneous posting, we don't want a simultaneous deletion, now do we?

    ReplyDelete
  51. Hey Deano - won't get anything under ESA anyway don't think. If it is to be means tested after twelve months I won't get anything paid to me - not even stamps I imagine - due to my insurance policy being taken into account as income.

    So once it changes over for me, I will lose any state support I think.

    Is it April next year it gets rolled out nationwide?

    Are you still doing work on helping people?

    I will go to the CAB near me when the time comes - I did before and they were great.

    ReplyDelete
  52. What régime did you declare under, Phil? Micro entreprise?

    ReplyDelete
  53. That selfmademan post is fantastic, a textbook example of how to puncture someones ego without obvious insults and swearing, that is real class.

    Don't be so quick to knock him back Meerkatjie this thing with Tim might not work out and I'm sure the children would be adorable. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  54. For new readers to UT - my above comment refers to a post which deeply offended my sense of fairness.

    It is a matter of unmoderated record here in the UT archive that Lady Bru privately sent single mum Wildhack a' a parcel' of goodies from her bountiful purse.

    A nice and civilised thing to do as a private deed. Sadly when sometime later Montana did not take Bru's prefered position on a matter ...she then actually outed her gift here on UT and on Waddya and then asserted our hostess was ungrateful.

    Montana to her credit put the Lady well in her place with just a few honest and sincere words.

    The plain nastiness of the act angers me to this day. As my long dead and much loved mam, a modest but firm woman would have said "Lady Bru is a right Cow".

    I never disagreed with me mam.

    Despite my loathing of said lady her friends who read UT should note that I did not out the Cow on her beloved Wadddya - truth is she did it herself although I think it was then removed but not till it had shocked many who can speak to the truth of what I say here.

    ReplyDelete
  55. just dumping this here incase it gets modded

    Dear Mme Expats

    You are of course absolutely right! Your unerring eye has discovered my secret - I am a selfmade man (though how you realized, I have no idea). And as a selfmade man who dragged himself up by his own bootstraps I have only the haziest sense of 'real class'. Growing up in the classless society of Turnip Street in the East End of London offered few opportunities to sample the fine arts, still less Greek cuisine, and all my efforts were devoted to building up a viable business.

    Now in my declining years I want to make up for lost time and to that end I have a proposition for you. Clearly you are well-versed in cultural matters, whilst also moving in only the best social circles (where they have the best chocolate) so perhaps you could bring me up to speed, class-wise? What I have in mind is that I accompany you to the ballet, galleries and receptions for the better sort of person (I would, of course, remove my hat so there is no need to fear embarrassment on that score). In essence I would sit at you feet (or under your tutelage) and in that way hope to learn enough to contribute to the debate with as much elan as your good self.

    I should stress that this would be a business transaction. I am not without means and I don't expect you to take declasses selfmade men under your wing out of the goodness of your own heart. On the contrary, if there is one thing that my business career has taught me it is that there's 'aught for naught' so I would be willing to pay top dollar (or, as it might be, top euro) for your mentoring. Which brings me to a rather tricky matter. Before embarking on this course of action I would want to be assured that you are absolutely out of the top drawer yourself and can indeed introduce me to high-end cultural events. It is not that I doubt your credentials but clearly I wouldn't want to shell out considerable amounts of moolah only to discover that all you could offer was a day trip to the Musee des Frites in Bruges and an introduction to Kate Middleton's cousin's hair stylist.

    If you could reassure me on that point then I think we are ready to move forward, real class-wise.

    Your dazzled pupil

    Selfmade

    PS Miss Meerkatje - despite my reference to being in my declining years I am by no means lacking in vigor should you still want to have my babies!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Turm

    Did you see Breakfast News this morning.

    A 17 year old lad who cares for his disabled mother and younger brother was on and he basically called the Government spokesman they had wheeled out a liar, it was pretty upsetting stuff for Breakfast, they had a report about an 8 year old girl who looks after her mother, how can things like that be allowed to continue?

    ReplyDelete
  57. @Sheff

    Heheh. That's the third parking of the same post. It's going to get crowded in here.

    You haven't got the second, deleted one, have you?

    ReplyDelete
  58. Well what a surprise - I was quickly de;eted on Waddya but the record is up thread here and despite disliking the graceless Lady she can have a reply here:

    "Brusselsexpats
    16 November 2010 12:21PM

    Deano
    _______

    Drop it - I still have emails that show a completely different slant on the story. I was the one whose friendship was grossly betrayed."

    ReplyDelete
  59. Bet the latest SSM goes fast!

    "selfmademan
    16 November 2010 12:41PM

    Dear Mr or Ms A. Moderator

    I was delighted to see that you read my letter and thought it of sufficient importance to merit removal. I have perused the "community standards" very carefully and I assume that I fell foul of them by straying from the topic of the thread which is to suggest possible articles (either that, or my mention of the Vauxhall Viva was taken to be hate speech). I notice that other contributors to these pages are always punctilious in adhering to this rule and I am sorry for having failed to understand. All I can say in mitigation is that I was carried away by mixing with my betters if not elders.

    Thank you for pulling me up on this. I will take it as a lesson in how to achieve an altogether more classy contribution to this august forum.

    Contritely

    Selfmademan (Esq.)"

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  60. PCC - I'm only helping me mate so far.

    But I am amassing a lot of knowledge which I'll try and make available to help others in due course.

    We are already have two separate appeals to tribunals in prospect and we have just submitted a new 'linked claim' which will probably gives us three separate appeals to keep the bastards busy.

    We are still working on the notion of small claims court action for Disability Denialagainst Atos/Sec of State (New Equality Act effective from October 1 gives a possible window of opportunity

    I always thought you would be well prepared but as I've said to Jen - if/when you get called you can't get a local friend to join you at the interrogation (it's not a medical) let me know and I'd join yous if it would help.

    regards

    You going ATL? PCC

    ReplyDelete
  61. Spike

    No sadly not - I was at work and can only glance at things now and again. 'Spose I'll have to trek back in a minute.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Dear All

    How kind of you to take an interest in my humble efforts. I am available for projects of all kinds, and, as regards babymaking, can be available on most Friday lunchtimes (so long as this wretched back holds out). I am necessarily writing this on the QT as Mrs Selfmade is sniffing around suspiciously.

    Do you think that Mme Expats truly likes me? Or is she just pretending? And what, I wonder, have I done to offend A. Moderator. As a humble selfmade man it is all beyond me.

    Your friend

    SMM

    ReplyDelete
  63. Wow, just wanted to say, Selfmademan, I'm a big fan!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Montana - the lady Bru and cabal is shit hot on the private link to delete/moderate waddya.

    My waddya post (reproduced here on UT above at 12:11 and developed at 12:30) was deleted within 4/5 minutes although it hardly broke the rules.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Selfmademan
    You funny bugger. Thanks for the appearance !

    ReplyDelete
  66. How lovely to see you here Mr Selfmade.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Hello

    Recd. this - what do people think about AV - proposed boundary changes, fewer MPs makes outcomes unclear

    Hello friend,

    My name is Iestyn Davies -- I'm your Yes campaign organiser in Wales.

    I am here to help Yes campaigners like you to build your own campaigns so that Wales says "Yes" to AV on 5 May 2011.

    Your leadership will be critical to this effort. Right now, I am looking for local organisers to help build the campaign where you are. Will you take up the challenge and join me?
    ----------------

    i,m not surewho these people are or how they gor my address.

    Lovely day here - cold and bright. SMM is indeed a delight - waddya has been amusing in parts today.

    Montana

    Your avatar has been tickling the back of my mind for weeks - took out a book on Celtic myth last night and there you are are on front cover in all your glory.

    Deano

    We have lots of berries here - mountain ash and haws. I am hoping for a cold and frosty winter.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Ah I see the Cow had her reply deleted too.

    Covers the track nicely. But at least we got both comment and reply copied for the UT archive

    Welcome Selfmade

    ReplyDelete
  69. Felicitations, Mr Selfmade.

    ReplyDelete
  70. My dear Dotterel (what a charming name!)

    How delightful that you are a big fan. That is of little use in today's frosty weather but I may have need of you come the summer. You see Mrs Selfmade does tend to come out in hives when the weather turns warm and, frankly, having to smear her with unguent is no picnic (especially with my back). Thus anything that between us we could do to cool her down would be welcome.

    To be honest, I think she could do with some cooling down metaphorically as well. Last night I was expecting Shepherd's Pie but when I went to the dining room she had come over all Nigella, had basted herself in chocolate and made curious remarks about 'ripe plums'. All I want is my meat and two veg, I told her, to which her cryptic reply was 'me too' before I was banished to the spare room.

    Life is difficult down my way, and I still haven't finished my scale model of 'Professor' Waltz, to be made of cheeseparings I have been collecting since 1972. Perhaps this afternoon, when I have finished with Madame La Bru I will be able to get out to the shed.

    Your friend
    Selfmade
    PS - and be candid - do you think my hat is ridiculous?

    ReplyDelete
  71. How delightful that Mr Selfmademan has graced this humble blog with his presence.

    It is nice to see the tone raised once in a while.

    (There are some terribly foul-mouthed posters here sometimes, Mr SMM. It's shocking.)

    ReplyDelete
  72. Just a small warning to suggest that Mrs Selfmade might at this point like to occupy herself with some hoovering in one of the further corners of the room.

    Meerkatjie in the other place said this:

    I'm always interested in the idea that 'foul language' demonstrates a lack of class. I'd suggest quite the opposite. That understanding the appropriate use of all the language available to us, including expletives, is a mark of true cultural literacy.

    Yesterday, I saw an elderly woman struggling to get out of the passenger side of a car.

    There was no traffic and as I got closer, I could hear very clearly everything she was saying, which was clearly the easy farewells and quick details of the next meeting with the driver, who was, perhaps, her daughter.

    The woman was probably in her eighties, very smartly dressed and speaking in the loud, clear, impeccable and confident tones of the upper-classes.

    Despite this, she was not having an easy time getting out of the car and her daughter must have asked whether she needed help.

    Her reply:

    "No, it's all right. I can manage. It's just this fucking leg."

    ReplyDelete
  73. "Deano
    _______

    Drop it - I still have emails that show a completely different slant on the story. I was the one whose friendship was grossly betrayed."



    I have no interest in the contents of private correspondence.

    I reacted to the evidence of chronology. It spoke for itself and it put Lady Bru as vengeful aggressor as some of her supporters know full well.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Good lord. I just went to make another comment on CiF and find I have been placed in premod.

    Can it be that La Bru complained about me? Is CiF succumbing to a severe humour by-pass? It's very odd as SMM has never had any trouble before posting in this vein.

    Let the word go out: Free SelfMade Man now!

    Oh well, back to the shed for me.

    Au revoir, my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Dear Mr. SMM,

    Please excuse my perhaps unseemly curiosity, but given the dearth of Shepherd's Pie, did you manage to ascertain the cause of the bleating in the kitchen you mentioned?

    Best wishes to you and the good lady. Perhaps we could play a round in Weston super Mare when the weather turns more clement (in the hives season, so killing two birds with one ball by providing you with a pretext to escape the house for a few hours).

    Yours inveterately,

    Spike Class-Struggle Esq.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Let the word go out: Free SelfMade Man now!

    Your wish was my command, Mr Selfmade, and my pleasure.

    ReplyDelete
  77. MsChin

    Re: Baseball Caps

    They should only be worn with extremely casual clothes, or for sport. They should never be worn back to front.

    A baseball cap worn back to front round here is known as an IQ Reducer

    ReplyDelete
  78. Dear Mr Selfmademan,

    Thank you for your reply, I'm humbled, also allow me to commiserate with you: I too am in premod (does this term make anyone else think of a Tom Cruise movie?)

    So, I would post my support of FSMM (not to be confused with the FSM) on WDYWTTA, but I'm afraid it wouldn't reach publication!

    Your humbly,

    Dot

    ReplyDelete
  79. SMM in premod? The cabal strikes again..

    That's it for me - off for the day. Laters all. try to be good - if you can't manage that at least be funny. x

    ReplyDelete
  80. Dear "Spike"

    I can only assume the bleating was Mrs Selfmade bringing herself to the boil and, MsChin, your words are having the same effect on me.

    Oh it's no good, I can't stay in character.
    I am too downhearted to write more. Hours of work down the drain and a post with 280 recommends - 280 - gone forever. Not only that, but probably SMM gone forever and I have built him up judiciously for months and months and had a lot of laughs with him. Still, no doubt at all that I got to La phoney, eh? And perhaps good reason to think that she and her chums are CiF's teacher's pets?

    Goodbye cruel world :-(

    essessemm

    ReplyDelete
  81. tascia

    Really? They are de rigeur round these parts for man, woman and dog. Kind of a modern take on t'owd flat cap.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Heheh. My post has been very quickly deleted:

    It seems that Selfmademan has been put into pre-mod.

    WTF? A sense-of-humour meltdown?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Nooo! SMM, solidarity brother!

    We shall not, we shall not be moved...

    ReplyDelete
  84. To be fair, Kizbot has posted:

    What's the problem with selfmade? I don't understand why his posts here today have been removed? Has he been put on the naughty step? Why? What am I missing?*
    *please explain slowly... am not that fast on the uptake..

    ReplyDelete
  85. FFS, SMM. They've vaped all your posts now. At least we've kept a couple of them here.

    ReplyDelete
  86. to be fair, she is either very,very stupid, or completely disingenuous!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Was reading with the thread open...

    ****

    selfmademan
    15 November 2010 8:24PM

    Dear Ms B. Expats

    I was thrilled, as always, to read your latest bulletins. I am amazed that, having so active a social life, you have the time to share it with us, but I am sure I am not alone in my gratitude. Things have been pretty hectic this end, too. Sunday saw Bridge night at the Weston-super-Mare Golf Club. I sometimes encounter a supercilious, de haut-en-bas attitude there (something you will not be familiar with!) which I ascribe to the unfortunate occasion when, on the first wives' night after my acceptance, Mrs Selfmade mistook the Captain's intentions when he went to shake her hand and made a scene which gave rise to ribald (and, I may say, ill-informed) speculation in the Gazette. But those days are long past, and she was able to play Dummy in ways which would pass muster even in Belgian circles.

    Monday. To the Crown and Sceptre on Bristol Road. They do an excellent pensioners' lunch, as you may have heard. I may have erred in taking the chili con carne but, like you, I have never been one to play safe. Would you have had me queue up at 'the carvery' with the common herd? One has one's pride and in any case I suspect it comprises no more than Sunday's leftovers. Apres-midi found me at the local library, flicking idly through the pages of Debretts in search of information about my betters. If only I knew your real name, I might have found you!

    As you will imagine, after all this activity tonight has been 'me time'. A glass of Blue Nun and the latest book - I am discovering J.B. Priestly who is sure to be the next big thing when others get to hear of him - is all I need. Inevitably, my mind turned to the wider world and like you I wonder how our local shops will fare in these days of austerity. Of course as a selfmade man who made his pile from import-export I am not affected personally, but it does cause a pang of distress to see the pinched white faces in the queue outside Poundstretcher, and one can't help but be moved by the plight of the little folk, for one is nothing if not compassionate.

    On a happier note, there are so many cultural events to look forward to! I have booked my tickets for Jack and the Beanstalk at the Playhouse on Boxing Day. It will be a glittering occasion, with people coming from as far afield as Minehead. And also to die for will be the medley of hits from the great West End musicals which the local operatic society are performing in the church hall next Sunday. You haven't lived unless you've heard them at full throttle.

    OK, off to dinner now (like you, we only eat sophisticated cuisine and judging by the bleating, Mrs Selfmade has been rustling up a Shepherd's Pie).

    ReplyDelete
  88. In case it goes too, I posted:

    @Bru

    Since you insist you have as much right to post as anyone, I take it you feel that anyone has as much right to post as you and will be joining us in supporting Selfmademan?


    The answer?

    Has he been incarcerated?

    Can I just say that I did not contact the mods or Jess and never have done in any of the cases where posters have attacked me?


    Yes, Bru, it's all about you, as usual.

    I hope you weren't expecting her to defend you to the death, SMM.

    ReplyDelete
  89. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  90. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Selfmademan on the UT, afternoon squire.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Do we have the tech to set up a petition on UT and send it to the mods? I think SMM will get a hell of a lot of support.

    ReplyDelete
  93. selfmademan
    16 November 2010 9:56AM

    Dear Ms B Expats

    I was delighted to receive your reply. How you find the time amidst your racketing around the finer venues I'll never know. I call it public spiritedness, pure and simple.

    I do so agree with your comment on the propensity of too many of we British to despise things of refinement and intellect. True, we have our share of intellectuals - I am thinking of Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Littlejohn to name but two (I would have included the late Terry Wogan, but, strictly speaking, he is Irish) - but having spent my working life in import-export I have come to realise the limitations of our small island. By contrast, I think it was Gore Vidal who recently said that he had been talking to a chum about that rum cove Berlusconi and was of the view that he might have shot his bolt this time, but we'd have to wait and see. And I will never forget the late Jean-Paul Sartre taking time off from writing 'Being and Nothingness' to opine that he didn't quite 'see' Celia Johnson in the role of Laura in Brief Encounter. That's the kind of intellectual insight that simply isn't on the radar of most British folk.

    As for refinement, I was encouraged by your comments since in my own limited way (I have to be careful, given the state of my back) like you I try to keep the flag flying for the finer things in life, no matter how the hoi polloi may scoff. A case in point is shoes. Visiting 'Feet R Us' the other day I was appalled to find that they did not stock Oxford Brogues and demanded to see the manager who quickly capitulated, promising to "look into it". It may not have made me popular but, like you, I feel one has to make a stand against the barbarian horde.

    I must admit that your words about my hat stung but, on reflection, I have to concede that you are right. What an unerring sense of refinement you have! The fact is, it was chosen by Mrs Selfmade who, entre nous, is not a refined person (she even takes brown sugar in her tea). This is surprising, since she was born with every advantage in life (her father was a Turf Accountant) and has an Open University degree in Mechanical Engineering (with social theory). This has equipped her admirably for spouting Baudrillard whilst adjusting the tappets on my Vauxhall Viva but has rendered her less than useless as regards couture.

    I appreciate that you are not purporting to offer a guide to good taste service, but I would very much value your view on what hat I should favour. The trilby is the latest thing down our way but I imagine that you, having an entree to the salons of the beau monde of Europe, might advocate something altogether racier? I am on tenterhooks to hear your opinion on this, or any other topic that, it occurs to you, would prove edifying for the little folk.

    Your friend,

    Selfmade

    ReplyDelete
  94. It may not be any of the WADDYA underlings and cup-bearers, although I would not trust any of them not to put up their hands in a gesture of feigned disbelief.

    JessicaReed, in a comment some months ago and, I assumed at the time, aimed at me, said that it was perfectly possible to make comments which were both polite and contravened no CiF guideline but were none the less unwanted on the hallowed grounds of WADDYA and made it difficult for the team to delete them and, ultimately, ban the offender.

    Basically, if you don't fit in, you're out.

    CiF is becoming a comedy suicide cult.

    ReplyDelete
  95. 16 November 2010 11:04AM

    Dear Ms B Expats

    It was kind of you to take time out of your hectic schedule to write. As an ex-serviceman myself (I rose to the rank of Private, purely through my own efforts) I felt a thrill of uplift at 10am on Sunday. At the time I thought I had gone mad, as it was an hour before time but now I realise it must have wafted on the wind from Antwerp as you paid your respects in continental time. What a generous person you are. I do hope that the Ambassador served Ferrero Roche chocolates at the reception as I know you appreciate only the finest things in life.

    As a matter of fact, in my career in import-export I moved in very similar circles. In Malta back in the 50s I was frequently a guest of Duncan Sandys (now he did have class) until an unfortunate misunderstanding at the Ra Ra club in Valetta rendered me persona non grata. Since then I have had to live the high life at second hand, which is why I find your letters so thrillingly adorable. For someone who is so obviously at the centre of things, and able to write about them in a way that is as unpretentious as it is convincing is surely a rare accomplishment.

    I am disinclined to take your friend Kizbot's advice on anything and let me say why. Mrs Selfmade recently suffered a flare up of her longstanding knee problem (the result of a particularly inelegant parturition many years ago - the first sign, if needs be, of the trouble Master Selfmade was going to cause) and sought the relief of a Greek masseuse. No sooner was she on the table than Sapphic alternatives were proposed which had Mrs Selfmade squealing like a scalded cat. True her knee took a turn for the better but my attempts to secure a refund proved fruitless. So you will understand my reservations.

    By the way, I should be delighted to introduce to our local vicar. In order to avoid any awkwardness this could be achieved as if by accident were you to come round for tea. I would regale you with stories from my import-export days, so the social side of things would be well-catered for; Mrs Selfmade could be prevailed upon to bake some scones (so long as it wasn't a Wednesday, which is her day for the hoovering) to satisfy our earthly appetites, whilst the vic himself could address our spiritual needs. Your own role I see as essentially a cultural one, perhaps encompassing a short lecture on modern developments in the arts. Ars gratia Artis, so to speak.

    Frankly, I think we could sell tickets for an event of that sort, and so could cover your fare over, to boot.

    Your friend

    Selfmade

    ReplyDelete
  96. "....I am too downhearted to write more. Hours of work down the drain and a post with 280 recommends - 280 - gone forever....

    I hope not.

    Folk really do owe it to Hank/Monkeyfish/Scherf et all to learn from bitter and cruel expeience.

    I hope the best posts were copied and saved prior to posting by SMM and will therefore find themselves given to a yet to be found friend..........who will in the fullness of time simply repost them at an oportune time.

    The agenda on Cif is such that there is always a guarantee that a good post with only light editing can usually be fitted into another thread at another time.

    So don't be downhearted SMM hopefully your class can reshine through in due course.

    FFS when are folk going to learn the few can always outwit the many

    ReplyDelete
  97. Woohoo!

    I (heart) Scientology!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Bet you never thought you'd hear yourself say that AB?

    And Selfmade, if you're still there, I think the hat is very fetching!

    ReplyDelete
  99. "To be fair, Kizbot has posted:

    What's the problem with selfmade? I don't understand why his posts here today have been removed? Has he been put on the naughty step? Why? What am I missing?*
    *please explain slowly... am not that fast on the uptake.."


    Come on Spike try disingenuous. Kiz ain't slow.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Dotterel

    Strictly, er, speaking, I didn't.

    I pressed a shoulder to one ear and a thumb to the other, as I typed with one finger and ululated to myself: "Lalalalalalala!"

    ReplyDelete
  101. Note to security services:

    I am not a professional ululator and am not involved in bomb-making or other acts of terrrr.

    (Although I would not risk Twittering to that effect).

    ReplyDelete
  102. @Deano

    I was simply pointing out that she's at least expressed surprise, implying that there was no good reason for the deletions and pre-modding unless she's missed something (which she obviously hasn't). Qualified support, at least.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I note they seem to have now completely removed the collective calls to free SMM.

    ReplyDelete
  104. If it makes you feel any better, it's short for scientologyisadangerouscult :-)

    ReplyDelete
  105. AH Ha the SMM post we never did get to see - above.

    Thanks for that Scientology.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Fairy snuff AB!


    I notice MIE is accusing SMM of being a "multiple".....

    ReplyDelete
  107. The mods have gone into meltdown. Sipech asked how we knew SMM was in pre-mod. I answered that Whaddya wasn't the only thread on the Web, a statement that apparently contravenes community standards.

    All mention of SMM is being deleted. Congrats, SMM, you're officially an unperson.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Bloody hell. It looks like a mod has fallen asleep with his nose on the delete button on WADDYA. SMM's certainly kicked up a storm and a half!

    ReplyDelete
  109. Spike - as you know I don't go there a lot I'd be banned in no time if I did. Diplomacy is not one of my developed skills but what I do see is that there ain't much gets past Kiz.

    As Bru herself evidences she has a propensity to email her alleged friends.....

    If there is one thing an active life in the awkward squad taught me it was..................never underestimate the opposition.

    regards comrade.

    Kiz ain't milk monitor for nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  110. *completely* removed - as if the posts were never there, not just the text of the post taken out. Very odd.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I notice MIE is accusing SMM of being a "multiple".....

    Of course. When you are dependent upon something, addicted to it and fulfil the role of fawning supplicant, you have to defend it and maintain the illusion of its unalloyed perfection.

    Woohoo!

    I (heart) isadengerouscult

    PS I assume I can rely on people here to warn me if the Hanman woman ever gets round to actually addressing the moderation issue.

    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Oh dear have they been doing the disappearing post trick again?

    Selfmademan is obviously a dangerous subversive or something, talk about incest is fine, as is talk about pedophilia but don't you be gently mocking other posters in the guise of an import/exporter from Weston super mare, some things are obviously just beyond the pale.

    ReplyDelete
  113. "If it makes you feel any better, it's short for scientologyisadangerouscult :-)"

    'ology is shorter - lot of other ology's are questionable too

    btw. Welcome/welcome back

    ReplyDelete
  114. Meerkatjie

    Not that odd, it's happened before. Posts are sometimes vaporised and not just deleted.

    Mind you, on occasion, I have to admit to being grateful for the vaporiser - for example, when someone was advocating sexual relationships between adults & minors.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Afternoon everyone

    What a bloody shame Mr Selfmade has been put in premod. His posts are always brilliant.

    God there is a serious sense of humour bypass on CiF these days and no mistake.

    Right - off to browse some threads.

    ReplyDelete
  116. I've fired off a quick mail to Jessica Reed and I imagine others will be doing the same. We'll see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Sipech

    I am going to put this here, which you wrote at the other place but which may have been missed.

    Sipech
    16 November 2010 12:37PM

    meerkatjie

    I suspect the issue here is about how best to discuss these things in a manner that encourages inclusion.

    Agreed. When I first found this little corner of Cif a few months ago, there was plenty of discussion on "the Atos issue" though I have never been provided an answer as to what the issue actually is, or provided with any references where it might be researched (Google doesn't show up anything).

    I have reasons for being concerned about unethical dealings about Atos, though I can't discuss them here because of confidentiality clauses in various contracts. But unless anyone can be clear about what the issue is, then I can't raise that or present evidence to the appropriate people.

    Sorry for the slight obscurantism above - necessary for legal reasons!

    __________

    PS You do understand that you are probably now persona non grata on WADDYA, having soiled yourself, figuratively speaking, in coming here?

    ReplyDelete
  118. It's a shame, that was such a funny thread too, I do fail to see how gentle humour like that goes, and blatant out and out nastiness stays - it's well bizarre!

    ReplyDelete
  119. Ah latest theory is Monkeyfish

    Because obviously, there can't be more than one person who likes to gently take the piss out of them...

    ReplyDelete
  120. More than that Chin - much more than that my dear young miss (IMHO).

    I'm hardly a a regular antagonist on Waddya.

    The small quips I put in today have all been completely removed......

    It's more likely about the rewriting of history at the behest of smug.

    ReplyDelete
  121. hey Scientologyisacult, long time no see. How's tricks ??

    ReplyDelete
  122. Dotterel

    Ah latest theory is Monkeyfish

    Presumably not put about by EnglishHelmet, who was convinced that anyone who said anything with which he did not agree must be GIYUS.

    WADDYA is like watching a group of toddlers.

    But without the fun.

    Or intelligence.

    ReplyDelete
  123. My dear friends

    Your support has quite restored me to my former self. I think it was the news that I have become an unperson, and the sight of most of my long lost letters re-appearing here that has cheered me. As a selfmade man I am used to the ups and downs of life and so I am sure I will take it in my stride.

    True, life as an unperson will be different but who is to say it will not be full of exciting new opportunities? Clearly I will not be able to write any more letters to the Manchester Guardian (since my offence is being myself, so there is nothing I can do to avoid the censor and in any case they will soon discover that my email address no longer exists at which point I will surely be booted out for good) but there are many other avenues to explore and I will not allow this small setback to deter me.

    But for now I think I need to be on my own for a while. Mrs Selfmade has gone for a lie down so I will console myself by looking adoringly at the photo of Ms Meerjkatje and dreaming of what might have been.

    Thank you for your kind comment about my hat, Dot. Looking back over what has been an exhausting day it is really only Madame Expats cruel words about it that will leave an enduring sting.

    Otherwise, je ne regrette rien - and how many of us can say that?

    Yours,

    Unmade man

    ReplyDelete
  124. Thanks Deano.

    Hey BW, very good here thanks, yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  125. By the way - GENERAL APB PLEASE

    I'm in and out pretty inconsistently at the moment - if anyone comes accross checkhov in the next couple of days, can you get him to email me at hardbjorn@googlemail.com

    - work related.

    Cheers !

    ReplyDelete
  126. @Atom

    No, a suggestion from notsorabid, who's always seemed to be to be OK, unless I've missed something.

    ReplyDelete
  127. scientology
    Very busy unfortunately, so can't follow thread very well ;-<.

    Life's fine outside though - pretty busy with work/music. Do you still CiF ? I dobn't bother any more.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Atomboy said...


    JessicaReed, in a comment some months ago and, I assumed at the time, aimed at me, said that it was perfectly possible to make comments which were both polite and contravened no CiF guideline but were none the less unwanted on the hallowed grounds of WADDYA and made it difficult for the team to delete them and, ultimately, ban the offender.


    Yeah, you get a warning shot, and if you carry on, it's probably pre-mod. They'll let you have a closing comment if you do it veeeerrry carefully not to be antagonistic.

    It's a bit of a tightrope. Point out someone might be being hypocritical, get modded. Point out a contradiction instead, and it's no longer personal and you're probably OK.

    It's not a game to everyone's taste, understandably. Neither is facebook for expats, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  129. SMM doubleplusuungood, humour used to encourage questioning think, ownlife ungood to Party line. Goodest MO, make SSM nonperson soonest. AR

    "If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say this or that even, it never happened—that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death."

    ReplyDelete
  130. Oh and I do have another CiF identity, but it is not,as seems to be being suggested there, Monkeyfish, or any other UT or Waddya regular ...

    ReplyDelete
  131. Intriguing Selfmademan, but my instincts tell me it isn't Julie Bindell ?

    ReplyDelete
  132. I'll keep an eye out for himBW

    notsorabid is a UT reader (and follower) who has spoken nicely of the place. Just floating an idle observation I thought

    I hope one day herm joins us - come on down?...btw are you a kiwi?

    ReplyDelete
  133. BW - don't comment and only read the odd article - usually on the science pages - and occasionally WADDYA, like today. I find I spend far too much time just scrolling on by...

    Glad you're well :-) would post some music but at work so can't really get anyway with it...

    ReplyDelete
  134. Atomboy - Persona non grata is a label I am not uncomfortable with. Though any explanation of the Atos issue would still be appreciated.

    Thanks for the welcome Deano.

    ReplyDelete
  135. AB shall we open a book on how long it'll be before somebody suggests MF is/was GIYUS?

    ReplyDelete
  136. Selfmademan said...

    Oh and I do have another CiF identity, but it is not,as seems to be being suggested there, Monkeyfish, or any other UT or Waddya regular ...

    Yeah, wondered if I'd seen you before. Perhaps gently mocking some of the right wingers? Just a guess...

    ReplyDelete
  137. Without comment:

    ........Behind the monkey a head emerged from the water, two yellow eyes, a flickering tongue as two giant fangs moved slowly towards the monkey's head.

    The duck flew into the air, quacking for all it was worth, but the monkey, now in fits of hysterical laughter was oblivious to its fate. There was a snap and a hiss and the monkey was under the water, the cold coils of death squeezing the last breath from him.

    "Fuck him" said the fish.

    "Quack. Quack.", replied the duck.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Likewise scientolgy - got to be orf again now. should be around in the PM over the weekend though - party time !!!

    And cheers Deano, much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Deano,

    I've come to the conclusion that the person who wrote that is permanently on the sorts of substances that make the whole world appear like the back of their avatar.........

    ReplyDelete
  140. Hi Sipech

    I think the 'ATOS issue' is just shorthand for the whole, blame the poor/sick/disabled/mentally ill/benefits recipient schtick that the Govt are wheeling out. Why are these people taking the brunt of the cuts and the mega rich getting richer? Why are our leaders, most of whom have never worked beyond a six month placement in PR or broadcasting , so blatently pulling up the ladder and blowing raspberries?

    I was saying to Dave (FF) the other day;

    [This is the bottom line, in some way shape or form 'they' have a finger of fear in all of us. Be it the have & have yachts who fear loosing it all, and thus the scramble to protect self interests.

    And the fears. more manifold, immanent and visceral, of the have nots, who will genuinely suffer when the little thus far allowed will be wrentched away.

    On this shittty canvas it's very easy to paint gaudy pictures of "ragheads" 'immigrants' "refugees & asylum seekers", benefit cheats and push the perceptions of this fear from it's true sources on to the scapegoats.

    I think that a movement to reject the Big 3 parties is a sound effort, wonder how to promulgate the idea, without giving a leg up to the BNP or worse?]

    ReplyDelete
  141. hevers

    It's not a game to everyone's taste, understandably.

    No, but it could get to the stage where it is not to anyone's.

    They clearly want to create a soft play area, where all the toys are squashy and padded and everything is pastel-coloured and everyone speaks in the hushed tones of a concerned social worker.

    The idea is that if everyone knows that nothing ever happens to which anyone could possibly take offense, visitors and advertisers will flood in like a goldrush.

    Of course, posts which are utterly offensive can stand, as long as they comply with the ideology of CiF or whatever government it is fellating at the time, so the inconsistency generates unrest, which has to be smashed with the iron fist of moderation.

    The problem is that CiF has no idea of its purpose, other than being happy-clappy, faux sincere and a general purpose bike for advertisers.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Poor old monkeyfish. He always gets the blame on Waddya when it isn't even him wot's responsible.

    ReplyDelete
  143. I'm fine 'ology thanks.

    150 posts on UT by 3pm - that's a bit of good news .

    I really must get on with pressing matters.

    ATOS as a force for evil is often discussed here sipech a few UT folk have experience of it's vile modus opeandi

    ReplyDelete
  144. Dotterel

    It might be too late.

    Apparently, GIYUS has been captured and negotiations are progressing to sell him to The Three Daves as a general scapegoat.

    They seem to like his chameleon abilities to be both everywhere and nowhere and forever to be last seen running down the road with a "Kick Me!" sign stuck to his back.

    Bleah!

    Gottago.

    ReplyDelete
  145. @Atomboy

    One gets the feeling that there is not necessarily a consensus on what the site should be like, which isn't surprising given a reasonably sized organisation.

    Some threads they seem to want fluffy, some seem as though designed for feral. Some journos people insult at their leisure, the threads of others are wastelands of deleted posts.

    When it comes to Waddya, you see some of the deletions, and yeah, it seems like a clean-up. But so much collateral damage remains, they'd have to clear half the thread at times to keep it properly fluffy.

    I tend to eee Waddya as perhaps more what JR might want, rather than GMG per se. And you can see a change the minute Bella takes over.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Got held up - have not yet gone out - saw Sipech's posts.

    Re ATOS

    Sipech
    There are 'issues' around ATOS beyond the cruelty. For instance using non specialists to over rule the findings of specialists - a midwive apparently knowing more than a neuro surgeon abot brain tumours.

    The refusal to use medical evidence from NHS consultants - already employed and paid from taxation - so we pay twice. Once to determine medical problem - and then to deny medical evidence and patient history.

    The employment of NHS staff by ATOS - again double payment and dual role anomalies.

    The over ruling ofv the UNUM model in USA - this model denying existence of such recognised conditions as ME to avoid paying out on medical insurance policies. (See Unum/Cardiff model)

    Lots of very murky stuff going on.

    Hopefully now really going out.

    ReplyDelete
  147. You're everywhere and nowhere, Giyus,
    that's where you're at
    Going down the bilderberg highway in your tinfoil hat
    Flying across the web getting angry
    Saying everything's conspiracy
    while the sheeple grow fat

    And it's hi-ho silver tin foil, get it in you hat!
    'Royal wedding?' go now, baby
    I see the lizards are breeding, but best not make a fuss
    The mods are all over us...

    ReplyDelete
  148. AB

    Ten to one he's already escaped....

    Beneath GIYUS there is more than flesh. Beneath GIYUS there is a troll, Mr. Mods, and trolls are bulletproof....

    ReplyDelete
  149. "......When it comes to Waddya, you see some of the deletions,......"

    hevers you do 'see' if you happen to be logged on and alert -----some of today's quite mild messages of opposition were gone within a few minutes deleted by moderation .....and then a few minutes later all traces of their existence was airbrushed away.

    Still a lot of blinkered waddya readers and participants. Perhaps that's discourteous and I should have said indifferent readers and participants.

    For many ego evidently takes priority over principles....nowt so blind as them as wont see.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Choon, Turm!

    And good lyrics as well! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  151. "Met closes down anti-police blog

    Police force suspension of website that offered advice to students involved in last week's rioting"

    ReplyDelete
  152. Can we change the UC thing to Countdown please!?

    ReplyDelete
  153. "....Ex-Guantanamo inmates win payouts
    Payments would be in exchange for dropping claims that British agents knew they were being tortured.....
    {Indie}

    I think that's also known as a bribe...

    ReplyDelete
  154. G'day all!

    Had a look in earlier, before I went out. Blimey, Waddya had a Stalinist purge, didn't they? Nice one, Scientology, for saving Selfmademan's very witty words.

    Meerkatjie, you might be getting an attack of the bracken/hicks. Don't worry, it's not the real thing.

    ReplyDelete
  155. I like the new photo's in the gallery.

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  156. hevers

    I tend to eee Waddya as perhaps more what JR might want, rather than GMG per se. And you can see a change the minute Bella takes over.

    Yes, I think that is true.

    It is a petting zoo, where the petting is generally heavy and indistinguishable from mutual masturbation.

    Typewritten pornography for the unthinking.

    A virtual froth-orgy for bubbleheads.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Habib

    Bracken hicks made me LOL. :o)

    Deano - of course it's a bribe! If the cases go away, so do the case papers. And any evidence linking any members of the government or civil service to crimes that might be indictable at the Hague. Not silly.

    James - I would do better at Countdown than UC, that's for sure. Although I am never all that good on the arithmatic bits...

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  158. Interesting thing about selfmademan (posts now deleted) - he's been posting his hilarious 'Henry Root Letters' stuff since April 2008, and never ever been deleted. Suddenly he gets three posts zapped! I wonder why?

    Of course, the usual fuckwits (like bru and MIE, and also others who should probably know better) seem to think he's a banned poster. I doubt it myself.

    ReplyDelete
  159. BB,

    As it turns out, I'm actually shit at Countdown too.

    I got a bit carried away after getting a nine letter word in the first round, but it's gone a bit Pete Tong since then!!

    ReplyDelete
  160. BTW - I wasn't having a pop at those who post both on waddya and UT.

    It would be even worse if the self congratulating cabal who think they have exclusive control of wadddya were ever left to think that they had achieved their objectives.

    Those who post in both places and are regulars here always help encourage others to join UT. In my view your contributions are important and every new face here is encouraging news

    It's the existence and thriving of this place that gets up their collective tits so in my book your posts over there and here are good news.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Sorry, posted before I'd read all the comments. I now see that SMM has popped up here in person. Well done, sir, and commiserations on your recent demise.

    ReplyDelete
  162. It is very strange that his pre-modding and deletion coincide with his beginning to take the piss out of Bru, in a very subtle, amusing and inoffensive way (you could see it dawning on her gradually, which was extremely funny in itself). As I said in my mail to Jess, if mocking Bru were an offence, Waddya would be near empty.

    ReplyDelete
  163. btw, I tried the University Challenge thing you talked about and got 32. Do I win anything?

    ReplyDelete
  164. 32? Is that the number of correct answers? No ten points or five points then?

    ReplyDelete
  165. 32 correct answers before they said them. Isn't that how you play it?

    ReplyDelete
  166. @deano

    Regarding your reply to me... It's a bit vague as to who it's aimed at, but just to be clear, I am well aware that deletions can baffle. I think most of us have experienced and witnessed deletions that make us go "uh?" and "Eh??" and "Wha???" and "WTF!!"

    And others where we have a pretty good idea why, but we may still not agree.

    The issue - for those who are bothered about deletions, as opposed to those who may understandably have given up - is therefore how to have your say without being deleted.

    And part of that involves gauging site motivations, hence my discussion with Atomboy. Because taken as a whole, at times the motivations can also make you go "Uh", "Eh", etc.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Duke yeah see what you mean:

    "Dutch(klootzak)
    English Translation()
    klootzak son of a bitch (klootzak), bastard (bastaard, schoft, onecht kind, klootzak), sod (zode, graszode, sodemieter, klootzak). Consider also: fucker (smeerlap, neuker, klootzak), fink (stakingsbreker, reclameartikel, doorslaan), arse (kont, gat, aars). Additional references: Dutch, Netherlands. (volunteer & more translations)"



    Looks like a fine language to me. I always enjoy the company of Dutch folk I come across on campsites.......

    Right I'm away with Mungo to watch the Evening Star brighthen

    ReplyDelete
  168. 32, props anon, It's not 'Jezza' or "Bamber" is it? ; )

    ReplyDelete
  169. hever -".....involves gauging site motivations....."

    no problems with that - waddya's cabal appear to outsiders like myself to be plainly self serving.

    If Guard had sense it would split the thread to end the nonsense.

    As others have pointed out a thread for those who might want to post suggestions for ATL and one for those who want to go in for toe sucking

    I would like to see a thread in which the cabal were isolated and left to disappear up their own orifices - but I suspect they are probably aware of that possibility

    ReplyDelete
  170. Atomboy said...
    hevers


    Yes, I think that is true.

    It is a petting zoo,


    Lol, Petting Zoo. JR comes across to me as quite sensitive to criticism, and quite a few of the journos are, actually. I had a couple pop down BTL early on in my days there, and I figured I would not last long if that continued. I wasn't even insulting...

    To some extent it's understandable as they are more readily identified than many, and their career depends a bit more on the criticism.

    So rightly or wrongly, maybe there is a certain gratitude towards those who do not publicly rip them a new one every day.

    That said, you do get the feeling at times that maybe they like some of the carnage, and can tut disapprovingly looking down from the tower.

    There is another issue, in that at times some of the journos seem rather out of step with the boards. Sometimes it may be intentional, but at others, you can kinda see them trying to catch up with where everyone else is at. The disconnect can result in frustration.

    And then there's the problem, highlighted in the ATOS debates, that the Graun isn't necessarily interested in campaigning. Since the whole point of the involvement in trying to influence content for many hinges on things they find rather urgent, a lack of interest in campaigning can frustrate all the more.

    ReplyDelete
  171. I don't really understand the Waddya thing either.

    I mean, even Jess should have figured out that it's not sustainable to delete and ban everyone who ever has an issue/encounter with any of the 'protected' regulars.

    (And, at some point, given the many, many who do, she must have asked herself, at least in passing, if maybe they might have a point).

    Fair enough, the regulars are prolific, and perhaps they give the place the appearance of being full on the slower days, sort of like the drunks used to do at Kings Cross, but how long do they think they can continue to delete, moderate or otherwise alienate anybody who has an issue with the 10 or so chosen ones??

    Given that they post an average of eleventy-twelve posts a day, and given that a fair few of these present a rather large target, that's a hell of a lot of people to have to mow down, regardless of how committed they are to their pursuit of blandness.

    Truly bizarre.

    Again, I give 'em one year, two tops!!

    ReplyDelete
  172. @deano

    Yeah, add me to the list of the many who have suggested the separate thread thing. Also suggested a thread for moderation issues as well, like many other sites have.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Parking...

    bettystanton
    16 November 2010 5:11PM

    Thank you very much, CommentisFree! Perhaps now my useless husband can finally put those shelves up and fix the conservatory door instead of wasting his time on the worldwidespidersweb.

    Yours in eternal gratitude,
    MrsSelfmademan

    PS Are married persons allowed to sign up for Guardian Soulmates?

    ReplyDelete
  174. I've just replied to that thauma - don't know how long either of them will last. Must show some solidarity with Mr Selfmade considering how happy he has made me whenever he appears.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Just seen it, Sheff - nice one! Have you saved a copy just in case?

    ReplyDelete
  176. Heheheheh

    Nice one from BettyStanton. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  177. thauma - I'll park it over here just in case:

    Dear Mrs Selfmade

    PS Are married persons allowed to sign up for Guardian Soulmates?

    If the gentleman I saw on the promenade at Burnham on Sea only a month or so ago was Mr Selfmade, (I could tell by the hat and the creaky brogues), then I believe he already has. He had on his arm a blowsy woman of indeterminate age, who was regaling him about the wonderful exhibition she had recently visited.

    Yours in friendship

    Sheff

    ReplyDelete
  178. SelfMadeMan - excellent stuff. Very bad form Guardian for deleting it all. The bit about the vauxhall viva hate speech was sublime.

    MsChin - ''Mind you, on occasion, I have to admit to being grateful for the vaporiser - for example, when someone was advocating sexual relationships between adults & minors.''

    Ages ago now I was on a thread about the Polanski thing - it was late at night - very few people posting - but one guy kept posting stuff that I thought was really disturbing. He wasn't actually saying it straight out - like that guy who did take over that thread ages ago - but he kept saying it was natural for men to find pre-pubescent girls 'beautiful' that there was something 'stirring' about their innocence blah blah.

    Anyway it went on and on and got more and more an open apologia for peodopahilia - and when I pointed this out my post was zapped. Just disappeared. So I posted again asking the Guardian why they were leaving posts up saying it was totally okay and normal for men to fancy little girls and zapping mine. It just got zapped again.

    It was so weird - every post on that thread from me got removed. Yet the poster in question was allowed to stay.

    I remember a similar sort of thing on a thread about pictures of a naked ten year old Brooke Shields - all done up in make up and posing provoctavively - that were being shown in some art gallery.

    I made the point of a lot of people being bloody hypocrites, because some bloke looking at stuff like that on his 'puter is a perv yet some Islington types looking at it in an art gallery are conniseurs of supposed high brow art -that got zapped too.

    ReplyDelete
  179. OK..time to come clean

    I am Selfmademan, Meekatjie, English Hermit and Brusselsexpat...I've also got Shergar's head stuffed and mounted on my bedroom wall and I've converted my attic into a little flat which I let jointly to Elvis and Lord Lucan.

    My real name's Jessica and I work for the Guardian...that bastard Rushbridger gave me 3 months to make the Waddaya thread viable..so I invented everybody...basically...in reality it's just me Martyn in Europe and Kizbot

    I start with someone I see on the bus...give them a name...maybe a jejune sense of humour...invent a picayune backstory...and I'm away...problem is some of my characters seem to have taken over...or at least are straying to try and assert their 'individuality'; it's becoming a real problem. Don't be surprised if "SelfMade"..(or DIY Stan..as I always think of him) or "Meerkatjie" come on later and try and establish their 'autonomy'...don't listen to a word of it..it's all me.

    I got so worried I decided to consult a psychologist...not a real one, of course, I just kinda invented one..I was inspired by this wide eyed sneering little git I saw in the pub...so I decided I'd be a sorta 'defrocked-psychologist' who didn't really know what he was talking about. Anyway I asked 'him' what I could do but he just started telling me how smart and misunderstood he was but then just said 'duh' or 'whatevs' whenever I asked him a serious question.

    must admit...I feel better for unburdening myself...the pressure was becoming too much..not sure I can continue to produce Waddaya single-handedly. Obviously there's my old mates Martyn and Kiz...but it's not like they actually add anything...they just kinda 'dilute' the place...and if there's one fuckin thing I can't stand it's anyone who puts water in their whisky.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Hello everyone; welcome to the "cesspit of bile" Mr Selfmade.
    I'm not even going comment on you know what!

    @"Bitterweed"; check your inbox.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Monkeyfish - please confirm that you are also Giyus or shall lose all faith in Waddya.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Loving your work, Sheffpixie, Mrs Stanton and Unmade....

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  183. Great God, MF! Then that means... I don't exist!

    And after all that looking up on Alexander the Great, too.

    ReplyDelete
  184. Oh FFS, they've deleted it all. What a load of tossers.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Evenin' all..... ah, plenty to keep me occupied.... WHAT is going on with bloody CiF?

    @Scientology..... I read yer full moniker as "ScientologyisadangerousBISCUIT" ..... whaaa????go figure as they say ;)

    Lovely to see the SelfMadeMan here ;) the deletion of posts and the pre-modding is just ridiculous.... has noone got a sense of humour on waddaya???? Thanks for making me smile and a 'hello' to Sipech too....

    Bin a bit bizzy since le Weekend, bloody marvellous night on Saturday, Lil' Louis is a genius DJ, was full of joy, which was marred by a full-on row with nasty neighbour on Sunday morning - the bastard barged into our flat uninvited, threatening to 'get us evicted' yet again (fucking fucker) Community Police coming round this evening to "discuss the situation"...Landlord's are thankfully taking this very seriously, just as well, I had extremely disturbed dreams last night because of it.

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  186. Strange the battles you end up fighting - but banning Mr Selfmade was a straw too far for me. So into the fray...

    ReplyDelete
  187. LaRit - hopefully the bastard will be the one who gets evicted, not you!

    ReplyDelete
  188. (either that, or my mention of the Vauxhall Viva was taken to be hate speech) My fav too, frog2.

    ReplyDelete