04 November 2010

04/11/10


The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-H. L. Mencken

134 comments:

  1. Quack.Quack.Waddle.Waddle.Quack.Quack!

    Caytiffes, vile and miserable.

    The incantation is carved into the ceiling of the winter parlour at Brereton Hall, a Tudor mansion house in Cheshire. I bought the guidebook when I visited. That is where I copied it from. On the mantlepiece in the parlour there is a carving of the Green Man. It leaps out at one in a quite startling fashion.

    The incantation is pagan, not Christian. I thought it would be quite appropriate for Hallowe'en.

    So, no plagiarism there.

    Likewise with Tolkien.

    My post paraphrased Gandalf when he was giving support to the hobbits or discussing strategy with Strider. Gandalf was a very wise wizard. His words come straight from memory, no need to google or even look them up. I only have two books about Tolkien, his authorised biography by Humpfrey Carpenter and his edited letters. They tell me all I need to know.

    Plagiarism eh? Dear me.

    Some of us had an intellectual life before Google you know. It was called reading books.

    Quack.Quack.Waddle.Waddle.Quack.Quack!

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  2. "Some of us had an intellectual life before Google you know. It was called reading books."

    ...reading the Hobbit is an 'intellectual life' in your universe? Is that were your 'wisdom' comes from?

    don't tell us...you're also an accomplished sportsman cos you play darts every Tuesday?

    You fuckin deluded Muppet

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  3. Shef just caught your bad news about your brother. So sorry - hope they've caught it in time.

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  4. MonkeyFsih;

    I think our 'Ducky' is 'Special Needs@

    hello Les Visiteurs from Islamic Republic of Iran, Japan and Sweden !

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  5. morning all!

    given the avian turn that the UT is taking, have added another picture to the photo gallery.

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  6. Sheff - best wishes to you and your brother. I too have a friend who's made a full recovery, and I think his was quite a nasty case.

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  7. Mornin' PB -

    Ta for the birdie photo - I love Terns.... the tumbling flight, the little stumpy legs, the tail streamers.... used to watch a regular summer visitor - fishing every day along the Regents canal ;)

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  8. Sheff

    Just read about your brother and wanted to add my good wishes, great message from you about getting to the doctors whatever the problem, it is a simple thing that can save lives.

    I hope they have caught it early and that everything goes well. x

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  9. Sheff

    Hope your brother makes a speedy and full recovery!

    All

    I would like to state here and now that avians are a diverse bunch, not all of us are quackers.....

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  10. Oh and...

    (possibly not work safe although I got it from a guy at mine on our work e-mail....)

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  11. No time to actually read this properly or the comments below, but it seems that CiF is disappearing up its own backside.

    Presumably, like a siphon, it will drag some of the turds back in to marinate.

    Deborah Orr:

    Everyone is entitled to her opinion, apparently. Opinions that self-evidently provoke further opinions appear to be particularly valuable, especially to the media, which tends to ramp them up. But opinion is not thought. Often it is the opposite of thought. Sometimes an opinion is so patently the product of a lack of thought or knowledge that it is, or should be, worthless to the holder or the receiver. Yet it is those very sorts of worthless opinions that sometimes gain most currency, at least for a brief time.

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  12. AB
    Hmm. Saul Bellow gives some context.

    Our media make crisis chatter out of news and fill our minds with anxious phantoms of the real thing — a summit in Helsinki, a treaty in Egypt, a constitutional crisis in India, a vote in the U.N., the financial collapse of New York. We can't avoid being politicized (a word as murky as the condition which it describes) because it is necessary after all to know what is going on. Worse yet, what is going on will not let us alone. Neither the facts nor the deformations, the insidious platitudes of the media (tormenting because the underlying realities are so large and so terrible), can be screened out. The study of literature itself is heavily "politicized."

    By the way, I know some guys in a punk band called Sick on the Bus. One of our visitors reminds me of a song of theirs:

    40 Watt Cunt in a 100 Watt World

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  13. BW & AB

    Just left a comment on that thread..... grrrrrrr....

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  14. Good post larit.

    I can't believe so many wankers use twitter to thril over all those banal aphorisms. Following eachother round like a Human Centipede

    ;-)

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  17. over the hills and far away...

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  21. What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
    infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
    admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
    a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
    to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
    nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

    Whatevs.

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  22. Fuck me has he been at the glue ?

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  23. What's that I hear? It's the sound of little webbed feet stamping in petulant frustration because somebody's being ignored!

    Here, ducky - have a biscuit (it's a stale quacker). Feel better now?

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  25. Fucking loony, this is making me chuckle.

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  26. Ducky - only one word for you sweetheart, BORINGGGGGGGGG!!!

    Incidentally, I couldn't give a fucking toss how many recommends I get and I certainly don't post on CiF to garner a coterie of admirers like wot that EnglishFuckwit does.

    Do qwack off now, you're making a tit of yourself ;)

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  27. BW

    I think our Ducky's been at the glue, the lighter gas, the little blue pills, the little pink ones and a few absinthe's to boot ;)

    Poor ickle fing ;(

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  29. And some of them make you ten foot tall... just ask Alice...

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  30. Alice, Alice? Who the F@&* is Alice?

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  31. Dott

    Alice kept a restaurant.

    Cif is extremely tedious today.

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  32. Hi Bitteres

    True - true

    Had a quick scan of waddya - people working up easily whipped up , meaningless outrage about paedophiles. The same people who happily support the dropping of bombs and political policies which allow children to go hungry.

    Off to do something constructive.

    Love to all.

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  33. I might only have been around for a few days, but I seems that I am already a father. Nothing wrong in that department then. You may have noticed the arrival of montanawildduck junior. It's easy to tell the difference between us. He hasn't learned to quack properly yet. Don't worry. It takes a little time. He can hang around the pond looking cute and getting lots of ooohs and aaaahs from the old boilers.

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  34. afternoon all

    I see the webby brained genius of the Anas Platyrhynchos world is still with us. Hey ho...such attention we're getting...

    Are there any tickets left for the blues bash on Sunday - think I need cheering up.

    MsC - are you going down? Any chance of a lift if you are?

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  35. No, No, No, little fluffy one. That's not how you do it. Your quacks just aren't loud enough and there are not nearly enough of them. Leave it to the grown ups.

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  36. Eh up, did you hear the one about the duck with multiple personality disorder?

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  37. Sheff

    Fuck the duck!

    Here's an uplifting tune from ELLA to help cheer you up :-)

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  38. Sheff

    Just looked back over last night's thread.

    Sorry to hear your sad news. Best wishes to your brother - stay positive. xx

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  39. Hi Leni - Rufus T Firefly here- will mail you later; Sheff you likewise.

    Like MF says. Be cool.

    ;-)

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  40. Dott

    is there a recommended way of dealing with disturbed ducks?

    I once had an imprinted duckling - Francis - he was incurable but not too much trouble. He grew very atached to the dog I had at the time.

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  41. That depends Leni, cyber ducks are a whole different species to normal ones....

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  42. Paul

    Now thats the kind of bird I warm to. Thanks! Here are some birds for you

    Three little birds..

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  43. There once was an ugly duckling
    With brains all stubby and brown
    And the other birds
    In so many words
    Said
    "Quack" - Why don't you take a long hard look at yourself and realise what a truly childish individual you are?

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  44. Leni

    Am now in optimistic mode - having got over the initial shock and resisted rushing up to Edinburgh to fuss about.

    Paul

    Talking about fucking ducks, I don't think the sad and lonely little duck that has imprinted on the UT will ever make a Swan

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  45. damnit, they've put up the speechwriter article i asked for and i can't get the page to load. is anyone else failing to see any CIF articles at the mo?

    sheff - good vibes in your direction, pet.

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  46. phillipa

    I am failing to see any CIF articles at the moment but that is because I haven't looked at it for a few days, I would like to think that I have broken my addiction to it but like all addictions I am sure it will be back.

    Have I missed much?

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  47. Whatever you do..don't ignore the duck...That's what he wants...keep telling him what a fuckin tool he is. He must not stop posting. If he did stop, it would only be after we'd had a repeat of the delusional "I think I've made my point...let that be a lesson to you".

    See I don't get what the point is...or rather I do...Fuckwit gets genuinely offended when he's told what a pointless and useless dickhead he is and tries to hit back...only he hasn't really got the ammunition..last time he got into a slanging match, he got a bit of a shock...so now he's sort of looking for a way to stop without looking like a complete tool again.

    He could just walk away..but what would that like? He's actually regretting having stared now..but as he never really had a plan..or a fuckin clue..he was always gonna look a tit..only now he's got a choice...walk away-try the "I hope I've made my point" thing and look a tit...or stick around knowing that the longer he stays the more of a tit he looks...so whatever you do, don't ignore him...tell him to say something interesting which is his own..or at least original..that way he'll be snookered and have to resort to 'quack' etc.

    There's nothing you can do about it anyway. These messages don't have a terrestrial origin. They have travelled many lightyears from the distant galaxy where EnglishFuckwit has an 'intellectual life', the guy from Scunthorpe is a respected political analyst, kizbot is fair-minded and rational and the rest of the Waddaya regulars are actually either genuinely profound(duh)or comic geniuses.

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  48. @sheff

    Best wishes for your brother.

    * * *

    Evening all. Got back to La Belle France this afternoon and the weather's much better here in Normandy. Had a wonderful time in England, though, and it was great seeing all those of you that I saw. Brought back lots of gifts and now have to perk up my finances. Fortunately, I've got loadsawork so I'd better get stuck in.

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  49. woroking again. good article, actually. hence it only has 20 comments. so try that one, jen, although i'd stay away from waddya, it's all dolphins and binary code...

    anyway.

    bienvenue chez toi, spike!

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  50. Right, I'm off to get cunted on special brew then lay into a few of those cunts over on the other chanel. Just fucken watch me.

    MW Jr

    PS fuck off dad, have another bowl of mushrooms eh ? fucken loser.

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  51. heh...heh...MF...well done! I think our wee ducky just had a tantrum

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  52. that's it Muppet boy..try and get angry...you're sooooo good at it

    just don't get so carried away that you reveal the 'masterplan'...you fuckin lightweight prick

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  53. Muppet boy

    That's why I love Giyus's EnglishKermit.

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  54. MF

    if you are a duck 'quack' is probably interesting.

    In its written form 'quack' assumes a rather uniform meaning - lacking affirmatory or inquisitorial markers .

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  55. Nerve hit there Monkeyfish.

    My impulse was to ignore him but I have been wrong before,is it my imagination or is he claiming that he has spawned an imitator?

    Philippa, binary and dolphins sounds interesting but I am sure it's just your way with words that has mades it sound that way.

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  56. I'm off to get cunted on special brew

    OK, if it's a six-pack.

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  57. Jen - it's actually a far more interesting thread than usual!

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  58. Thauma, you temptress, we all know Waddya is the gateway drug. ;)

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  59. right.

    am keeping things crossed after the wolves fiasco.

    and yet again wondering about language. because i don't speak dutch and yet i can more or less work out what the nice people at NVS1 are saying.

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  60. I meant what I said above btw. He wants a way out so that he can stop posting here now and try and walk away with a bit of dignity. He's started something he shouldn't have, never had the brains to carry it off, is totally out of his league and his depth and if you let him, he'll try and sidle away trying to give the impression he's achieved something...don't let him.

    He sticks to 'quack' because he lacks the wherewithal to even troll properly...hasn't got the skills...even when he posts 'non-quack related' comments, they tend to be someone else's words...and when he goes down the insult route, he comes over like a 6 year old who hasn't quite got the hang of swearing yet..

    "sod you you big bloody retard fuck-face" etc

    ...truly, he is the most fuckin all-round useless poster in the history of the interweb...soon as he reverts to quack, we'll know he's lost again.

    Here's an interesting thought experiment.

    You are a predatory psychopath with a bit of time on your hands...you get hold of a gun and track down EnglishFuckwit then point it at his head and scream..."say something interesting or you're dead motherfucker."

    Are you more likely to blow out whatever vestigial brain-like object remains inside that cavernous skull if...

    1) He starts telling you about how he once got rid of some greenfly by smearing his whole garden, house and face in mashed parsnip and nettles.

    2) He says 'quack'.

    exactly...it's a defence mechanism....we must attack

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  61. Philippa - it's probably language roots. I speak French (badly) and a little Spanish, but can get the gist of Italian and Portuguese and, to a lesser extent, Romanian, because they are all Romance languages.

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  62. MF: dignity? He lost it with the first Quack! (At the quacker dawn, even.)

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  63. Now you made me go and look at Waddya.

    I agree Thauma it is pretty interesting, I have realised that Waddya is about my level, lots of opinion and not much knowledge, the perfect intersection for know all, know nothings.

    I am trying to do better though so I will leave it alone.

    If I was to join in I might ask if scent comes into the language equation.

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  64. Thauma

    Quakerdawn (groan) genius.

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  65. Here's some recent political analysis from a well-respected Cif commentator:

    another severe economic crisis within the EU.........the enormity of the economic crisis in the US...........the ascent of China as a global player ............areas once prosperous but now rust belts..........a well-paid corporate environment.......... fund decent healthcare...........global collapse.

    Apparently all you have to do is link the cliches together with suitable anodyne phrases, and there you have it - an accurate picture of the state of the world today! And if you run the resultant sentences through the GIYUS super-computer (you'll need the secret codes) in the correct order, then you'll also have the solution!

    I came up with 'Obama should cut interest rates by 0.3% and also fuck some ducks', but I suspect that the halfwit might have hacked my computer and replaced all my codes with meaningless Elvish runes.

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  66. thauma - aye, think that's it - Romanian surprised me, have to admit (*cough*more football*cough*), in that it seemed very familiar, but the clue is in the name, suppose.

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  67. Jen

    If I was to join in I might ask if scent comes into the language equation.

    Just waitin' for Bracken to have a go at that. ;-)

    Sheff/MsChin - please do come down this weekend ... it was weird going to a meet-up without the two of you! Everything starts on Saturday although I must warn you that rugby could be involved.

    Now that Jen has declined my hospitality (such as it is) I have a spare room. It has a double bed so could potentially be shared!

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  68. Philippa,

    Dutch is een makkelijk taal (an easy language). Just follow my easy beginners guide.

    - do try and practice first thing in the morning when you wake up coughing phlegm from the night before. It also helps if you're a heavy smoker to get that authentic 'ccchhhccchhhchhh' sound.

    - It also helps your pronunciation if you have end stage whooping cough.

    - add a double vowel any time you fancy, whenever you like for absolutely no grammatical reason whatsoever. The more irrelevant the double vowel the better.

    - same goes for 'j' and 'z'. Throw in as many of those bad boys whenever you fancy.

    - if you have the sentence in your head in English, twist the structure around completely, except when the exception is brought into play which is any time and for completely irrelevant reasons except when you don't need to use the exception, except then you do when you don't but think you have to but then it turns out you do have to when you don't in this instance. Sometimes.

    - use the words/phrases "lekker", "gezellig uh?" and "leuk" in every situation.

    Succes.

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  69. Hehe, Duke, my aunt worked in Holland for a while and had the misfortune to work with someone named Gaag. She said she had a sore throat by the end of every workday.

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  70. arse, stream is cutting in and out.

    unlike SWP.

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  71. heheheheh, nice one, your grace.

    of course, i'm very much at the A1 stage of comprehension with the footy, as it does help that very third word is recognisable. a bit like that sketch that the 'suits you' chaps did with the south american tv station.

    gordjelets tevez deka, en de city of manchester stadium, haiz bevinst, in der europa league...johnson. johnson... a lescott, viera, adebayor, hechte vebreum, sehe fanatik, die supporters von lech poznan. richards, ah, zes do. city as forne sluitje. corner! corner...

    that's kind of what i'm hearing right now.

    plus phlegm.

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  72. Thauma, I am sure your hospitality would be fantastic and I am very sorry that I won't be there.

    I was talking to my sister yesterday, the one who lives down south, and I vowed that I would never go and stay with her again (I didn't disown her or anything it was just a nightmare visit) and she wants me to go for Christmas!

    I probably will go, just to see the kids, but she makes me look like Ms Sanity UK.

    She knows my views but still started telling me about how the 7th of November is some kind of tipping point and how something major, terroism wise, is going to happen on the 7th of this month.

    Apparently a website she is reading has proved it, they predicted 9/11 don't you know.

    She actually made me promise that I wouldn't go out on Sunday.

    I am seriously worried about her.

    She has always been a bit 'spiritual' but now she has started stocking up water (which isn't a bad thing) but this is extreme.

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  73. I swear SWP was just tackled by Viera, who has clearly decided that he'd be better placed to mount an attack...

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  74. Jen, I am getting the family pressure to join them for xmas (one in the States, one in NI). So far I have resisted as nothing is less appealing.

    Perhaps a non-event on the 7th will convince your sister that the website is a bit pants?

    Philippa, have been forced to watch various rugby matches on S4C (Welsh language) and cannot understand a fuckin word except for the players' names. The weird part is that you might have a match between, say, Cardiff and the Ospreys, and they keep talking about Brian O'Driscoll or someone else who isn't on the bloody pitch.

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  75. damnit, now i'm dealing with polish.

    the language, not the cleaning material.

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  76. Allo all, have I missed much? 'Interview' was a waste of 12 hours and £80. I've put a post about it on UT2..

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  77. Philippa,

    aah, so you're listening to a Dutch football commentator or in Dutch 'voetbal verslaggever' (I'm not making this up).

    It could be the two phenomenally named commentators Frankie Snoeks (pronounced Snooks) or Bas Tichler (pronounced Tickler) with the anchors in the studio Jan Joost van Gangelen or Tonie van Peperstraten.

    Dutch names are the gift that keep on giving.

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  78. blimey, jen, difficult one to deal with.

    mind, if the date they're worried about is '7/11', couldn't it just be a massive hoax? sorry, first thing that popped into my mind...

    she wouldn't be talking about terror at Christmas, thought, would she?

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  79. ah, sorry to hear that, turm - any chance of it coming off?

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  80. right, have to go stealth for now, oisette is coming round and we're going to make tartiflette.

    night all. good vibes.

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  81. Welsh rugby names: Dai Young. Jonathan Thomas. (All the rest are called Jones: Jones the tighthead, Jones the loosehead, Jones the fly-half, etc.)

    Irish: Rick O'Shea. And there's another funny one I can't think of at the mo.

    And that Fiberglass bloke who plays footie.

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  82. Duke and Philippa

    I thought all you have to do is clear your throat to make yourself understood in Holland.Although i'm told Dutch etiquette states that you should also sneeze occasionally if you're sitting astride a dyke with friends and eating raw kippers whilst the wind's blowing.

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  83. No chance Phillippa. I can't get there for 7am, or get back at 6pm, let alone 8.30.. Had a hard days cleaning at the big house, crap TV and an early nite for me.

    Atb folks p x

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  84. Paul

    you have that one wrong - that's in Norfolk.

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  85. Philipa, that was my first thought, they have just taken the 7 from the London bombings and the 11 from the America bombing.

    She, however is telling me that they have a genuine mathematic system that predicted them both, she is pretty casual about it until you try to talk sense to her, then she comes out with a lot of gibberish and acts hurt because you don't believe her.

    She is very isolated down there and I am seriously wondering how serious she is about it, she seems very serious.

    I think if nothing happens on the 7th then she will say that the 'authorities' listened to them and prevented it.

    Philippa, I don't think she will talk about it in front of the kids but the fact she is talking about this kind of shite, knowing that I am not with her (trying to convert me) has got me worried.

    Happy fucking Christmas. ;)

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  86. Sorry the interview was a bust Turm.

    You did the right thing by going but there is nothing more annoying than thinking that something is a waste of time, and being told that it is the right thing to do, and then it being a waste of time.

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  87. commiserations turminder.

    Paul, you are spot on with everything except the kippers, it's actually raw herring they wolf down. Which I quite like myself actually.

    The greatest Dutch name I came across was when I ordered something from bol.com, the Dutch equivalent of amazon. I got a generic confirmation of order email and the customer service managers name at the bottom of the email was Joop Flarecrackers. I shit you not.

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  88. Sorry about the repeating of both Philippa and serious, I was watching Hollyoaks.;)

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  89. I'm listening to a re-run of the Jeremy Vine pro on radio 2, as recommended by the other half.

    It's on the massive hike in student tuition fees - NUS president v. some LibDem MP for Birmingham. Fecking brilliant!

    MP: "This is not a debt, it's a graduate tax ... if it quacks like a duck ... This is a future tax liability, it's not like a debt ... "

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  90. The first year I went to uni was the last year of grants,I am not kidding myself that if it had stayed the same I would have stayed on but I can say without any doubt that if it was now I would never have gone in the first place.

    That is badly written but you know what I mean.

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  91. wildduck

    Come on mate..where are ya?

    We need sorting out and putting in our place...we hate you...for your freedom...
    ..(from the usual constraints of objectivity and rationalism)

    Why not let rip with more of your biting satire...oh..hang on a minute..what am I talking about?...shit!...slaps head
    ..this is the point where I get to call your posts "vile obnoxious abuse" etc...oh yeah...and 'hate speech'...and misogyny..and all the usual shit

    So come on you vile obnoxious hate-filled misogynist...man up..or hobbit up... for once in your boring little life...let rip...let's have a few more 'months of outrageous abuse'

    I'm really getting the hang of this now

    PS

    Am I at the stage where I can start going Dagga Dagga and 'reporting for duty sah' and all that other hilarious stuff?

    I noticed someone else doing that kind of thing once...everyone thought it was fantastically funny...you could tell by the way they sort of ignored it and pretended they weren't just a little bit embarrassed by it all.

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  92. monkeyfish

    I understand why you are so angry with engishfuckwit but I hope that its gibberish is not all that drags you to the UT.

    I find him very inpropriate and boring.

    When Sheff is venting about her anger with her brothers problems and Montana herself is having diffuculties.

    We come here to spout off and get angry because we need it.

    I am alone and I come here for a bit of a laugh and a whinge.

    duck fucker is having a laugh at everyones expense.

    I would get angry at duck man but meh

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  93. Having said that.

    The dagga dagga stuff was just pathetic.

    I hid my face in shame for you.

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  94. "duck fucker is having a laugh at everyones expense."

    I don't think you're right. In what sense is he having a laugh? To do that he'd need to have scored apoint or two...all he's done is make a prick of himself. Now he's got some options:

    a)fuck off with his tail between his legs

    b) stick around and try to score a few points

    a is out of the question because he was genuinely outraged at the treatment he received during his last attempt to 'make a point'...and he wants some sort of revenge...which leaves b

    However...b requires that he actually has the wit and nous to score a point or two...he hasn't...he's fucked...and a bit embarrassed and feeling a bit sorry that he ever started...and so..he's left with option c: go 'quack'...and the longer he goes 'quack', the more of a tool he looks.

    Personally, I'm hoping he's really fuming now and has another crack at b...cos he's so fuckin dumb he'll let something slip out...maybe a bit more of his quasi-fascist-folk-scene-middle-earth-little Englishness...but more likely some outstanding new piece of hypocrisy

    Watch this space..he's sitting at his desk now desperately thinking up an insult or two...the stupid cunt puts hours of work into his snappy instant comebacks.

    Seriously "Don't feed the troll" is the single most stupid piece of advice ever...the correct approach is "Give em some more rope"

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  95. Ok, I said my gut feeling was wrong but I am ok with calling the duckfucker what he is.

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  96. Right on cue MF - but far too weedy to rise to your challenge. Imagine, lurking round the UT just to have an inept quack at winding us up...

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  97. 'Pathetic' doesn't even begin to describe it. There aren't words.

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  98. Well all right, I think Monkeyfish is pretty good at finding the words. ;-)

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  99. I,m trying to find something that would be appropriate for our guest and the best i've come up with so far is THIS.

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  100. "Well all right, I think Monkeyfish is pretty good at finding the words. ;-)"

    Indeed

    as it happens

    "Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack."

    is Elvish for...

    "I post on here because when I walk up to the bar to ask for another pint of 'Rumpole's Ferret-Fucker' everyone suddenly pisses off for a game of pool, plays the fruit machine or is suddenly fascinated by the Sky Sports News presenter's round up of this week's show-jumping highlights..Oh God..why won't anyone take me seriously?...and respect me as an expert on middle earth and vegetables...it's not fair...at least on the internet I can pretend to be interesting and have some integrity...I was only doing it to try and impress everyone on waddaya...don't hate me...I'm just a sad old man."

    Elvish is a very concise but expressive language you see.

    AS it happens I think he's just lost the will to go on...he's fucked.

    See I'm a great fan of the Harry Lime Cuckoo Clock soliloquy...very few truer words have ever been given such raw and brutal expression on film. I regard waddaya as Switzerland...peace, harmony and convivial mutual congratulation have led to a cesspit of mediocrity and the conviction amongst the regulars that they really are witty, profound or inciteful...if they tell each other so often enough they start to believe it...whereas this place is like Italy under the Borgias..it's not always pretty etc but it makes progress

    The very fuckin idea that an A1 window-licking numpty like Muppet boy can nip on and make an impression is just risible..ignoring him pays the useless fucker a compliment he just hasn't earned...he needs telling what a sad cunt he is on every occasion.

    No doubt he'll regard his next few "Quacks" as a sign of defiance...devoid of any self-awareness, he'll be at a loss to explain the continuing contempt..let's face it the credibility's left the building... that he'll amass.

    Nice work EnglishFuckwit...as in life...as on the interweb...everyone knows what a fuckin loser you really are...did you really think you were fooling anybody?

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  101. Getting out-trolled on your own little trolling mission...and no way of fighting back...or even fighting your way out of a paper bag...you might yet become an internet legend..like Max Gogarty

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  102. duck fucker is having a laugh at everyones expense."

    I don't think you're right. In what sense is he having a laugh? To do that he'd need to have scored apoint or two...all he's done is make a prick of himself. Now he's got some options:

    a)fuck off with his tail between his legs

    b) stick around and try to score a few points

    a is out of the question because he was genuinely outraged at the treatment he received during his last attempt to 'make a point'...and he wants some sort of revenge...which leaves b

    However...b requires that he actually has the wit and nous to score a point or two...he hasn't...he's fucked...and a bit embarrassed and feeling a bit sorry that he ever started...and so..he's left with option c: go 'quack'...and the longer he goes 'quack', the more of a tool he looks.

    Personally, I'm hoping he's really fuming now and has another crack at b...cos he's so fuckin dumb he'll let something slip out...maybe a bit more of his quasi-fascist-folk-scene-middle-earth-little Englishness...but more likely some outstanding new piece of hypocrisy

    Watch this space..he's sitting at his desk now desperately thinking up an insult or two...the stupid cunt puts hours of work into his snappy instant comebacks.

    Seriously "Don't feed the troll" is the single most stupid piece of advice ever...the correct approach is "Give em some more rope"

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  103. Think I'm gonna respond with Quack?

    Useless predictable fucker...by all means repost my stuff Muppet boy..all over the net, lampposts, your living room wall...take your pick sunshine

    Great poetry doesn't get enough of an airing these days..knock yourself out

    Better still...try just one..single...original thought of your own...for once; ie something that wasn't first said by a fantasy figure from turgid adolescent literature masquerading as a profound sentiment...or something you've picked up on CIF...go on amaze us all

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  104. Good night me duck.

    I'll be sleeping under my duck down duvet tonight .. I believe it was your cousin once.

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  105. Better still...try just one..single...original thought of your own...for once

    He's just stuck in a loop of his own witlessness...no good expecting anything original MF.

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  106. "I'll be sleeping under my duck down duvet tonight .. I believe it was your cousin once."

    Your duvet was once a six-fingered, moron in a pointy hat...how does that work?

    "Quack. Quack."

    How does that feel? You feelin clever now? No...don't tell me..."Quack Quack"

    Why not try something else?...something that isn't gonna get ripped apart in about 10 seconds and leave you lookin like a tool again?..oops forgot..you can't actually manage that can you...night night Muppet.

    PS

    It's OK..I know.."quack quack"...never mind

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  109. Fuck me that deranged duck's still with us.Got nowt of interest to say right now so here's a tune instead from THE POLICE

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  110. And one more from my main man Mr Al Jarreau

    Nite all

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  111. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkhDSOq1ZwQ

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  112. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTpUVAcvWfU&feature=fvw

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  113. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywhmOURCPBM

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  114. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7cQyb4ejY0&feature=player_embedded#!

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  115. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkt8E2Ul-Xw

    That's what I'm gonna do.

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  116. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12j1yAWFMPA

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  117. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvW1U_RALV0&feature=player_embedded#!

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  118. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvqtkfIPbtA&NR=1

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