14 November 2009

Daily Chat 14/11/09

In 1889, pioneering female journalist Nellie Bly(aka Elizabeth Cochrane) begins a successful attempt to travel around the world in less than 80 days. She completes the trip in seventy-two days. Jules Verne eat your heart out.

Czechoslovakia became a republic on this day in 1918, while in 1940, the city of Coventry is attacked and Coventry Cathedral almost razed to the ground by the Luftwaffe.

In 1971, the Mariner 9 reaches Mars, inspiring David Bowie as well as one of the best cops shows on British television so far this century. In 1982, Lech Walesa, leader of the outlawed Solidarnosc movement in Poland, is released from internment.

Happy Birthday to Freddy Garrity of Freddie and the Dreamers, Bernard Hinault the cyclist, Letitia Dean, Sharon from EastEnders, and, interestingly, both Dominique De Villepin and Condoleezza Rice (which just goes to show that astrology must be a load of bollocks).

245 comments:

  1. Check out the WDYWTTA thread, people. rexmundi, hermionegingold and heyhabib seem to think that it's amusing if we try to discuss unhappy childhoods or abuse seriously. They get a sad kick out of lurking here and then having a laugh about it on Cif. They're real nice people, aren't they? Intelligent and caring - typical Cif drones. But please don't call them cunts, they don't like it, and that's a bad word one should never use, no matter how accurate it might be. It's terribly rude.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Just seen it scherf. Bit disappointed in heyhabib - I thought more of him than that.

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  4. Good morning, Montana.

    Apparently it's the Day of Columbian Women, in honour of the anniversary of the death of “Our heroine, Policarpa Salavarrieta”. Policarpa was a revolutionary in the early 1800s. She was executed on this day in 1817.

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  5. Oh bugger

    This popped up while I was carefully crafting one for today. Soz.

    Is there any way of merging them, or can I call the other one something different or something?

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  6. I'll copy and paste your info into this one and then delete the other. Thanks for doing it, BB.

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  7. Cheers love! I thought you were probably still tucked up in bed, seeing as it is Saturday. xx

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  8. Not a very pleasant thing to do, no. If people want to say something they should come here and say it really.

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  9. Morning all.

    Montana! Alleluia - good luck with the new position. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person (waves).

    If it is only until May, and you are still planning relocation, my limited knowledge of French burocracy (sp?) - which certainly is not limited - is at your disposal. From friends, I understand that working in french schools would be difficult as you would need to pass a language test (which is f-ing hard) as well as basically doing a degree course to get the relevant registration. But there are a hell of a lot of 'anglos' here and I know several people who make a decent living (in the course of a hippy-ish existence) teaching English, and those teaching kids are in demand. But it's not very constant, so that might not be practical. As someone mentioned that you have lived here before, you may be on top of all that, but I can ask around for the current situation if you are considering coming to la belle France.

    Given the continuing moves towards mainstreaming kids with learning difficulties etc in the UK, that could be worth a look as you would be more likely to have directly transferable skills (without the language / French beaurocr...red tape thing). Can ask mate who used to be a single-support classroom assistant if you like. And nurseries are always after staff (and from my mother's experience, particularly in specialist support).

    I don't know if you can reach people directly through blogs or whatever, but if I can help in any tiny way, just let me know.

    MsChin - am not going to post again on the 'chemical cosh' thread as it's just too depressing. Am hoping the maths in nature thing (thanks to deano and dot particularly for adding to that) might me a more whimsical and life-affirming topic, but then I am prone to hopeless optimism...

    To everybody on yesterday's thread sharing their experiences of childhood, good vibes. Thank you and good vibes.

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  10. Also, relating to charitable activities, which came up, having been an advisor to the sector for ten years or so, I've seen a lot of the 'high end' organistion of events.

    The kind of community group effort that was referred to in 'parish news' is, perhaps, a function of tight-knit communities, i.e. those outside the big cities. My parent's village is much the same - there's always a bring-and-buy sale or some fundraising effort going on. I tink there's an argument that solidarity within a small community means a less 'individualistic' approach, which then spreads out to mean support for those outside the community as well. And yes, a lot of it may be 'faith-based' but I think that might be something to do with churches (usually) being social / community focal points in smaller communities, as well as religious institutions.

    So there are really two types of this charitable engagement, perhaps - the 'small community' efforts, which may bring in relatively small sums but are in the round more common, and the 'high-net-worth' events. Because the latter did occasionally confuse me - I would wonder why somebody organising a £1000 a plate dinner didn't just ask everyone she knew to give a donation - but having worked with several of them, I think I understand.

    The high-net-worth individuals are very happy to give. Some of them do so quietly and significantly. And some of them are prepared to spend frankly stupid sums at a charity auction, if they get something out of it - a dinner, an auction, a performance, etc. Now, one could argue that a donation should be entirely freely given, but if the end result is shedloads of money for a good cause, good luck to 'em, I say.

    I will however note that such events are usually more complicated to organise in tax terms (it's a requirement of my job to bitch about this), and that the people in charge are often less practical than the doughty ladies organising a tea party in the church hall for war on want. Maybe because money is tighter at the smaller level so they work out (for example) how many cups of tea you can wring from one bag, and which loaves have an even number of slices. But that's just my experience.

    So I think both have their place - because its the end result that counts. I'd estimate that there are more people involved in the smaller community efforts, and so if you looked at the 'take' from the two types, it wouldn't surprise me if this was fairly equal. But I have absolutely no stats on that.

    Anyway...

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  11. Montana

    Ever thought of attracting some advertising to help tide things over while you sort something out job/ relocation wise. You have a very healthy comment count here and a small army of lurkers.
    Prada and Jimmy Choo are obvious choices, while of course I'd be very interested in cheap lager promotions from Supermarkets etc...something to keep those creative juices flowing.

    Also, I'm sure Bailey's, Babycham, Pot Noodle and Farley's Rusks would knock themslves out to get to the lurking demographic

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  12. 1. Sorry about the delay. Someone was keeping me occupied and as soon as that was done and I was getting ready to get a thread up, my computer decided it was time to do some automatic updates that were slowing me to a crawl. Hence, the loss of the photo. Thanks to BB for getting the info up.

    2. I'm really disgusted by those comments on Waddaya. Intended to address them over there, but I've decided against it. If I ever see one of those three trying to take the moral high ground about rudeness, I'm going to rip them a new one, however.

    3. Philippa, I'd be happy to live anywhere in Europe. My French is very rusty, but it's not beyond repair. If you click on my name at the top of this comment, it will take you to my profile. From there you can e-mail me. Would appreciate all the help I can get in figuring out some way of moving!

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  13. Philippa

    I agree that the small community-based charity work in rural areas can be central to the social life of people living there, but it can also be true for urban areas as well.

    I'm sure that more people are involved in the smaller stuff than the big fundraisers, and that the reason for this is they want to be involved in doing something they percieve as real and valuable for them, as well as the cause they are supporting. So it's not just about the money raised. I'm not sure that fundraising dinners (and have only been to one, when given a free table for the community project I was involved in) have the same ethos.

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  14. MF -- actually, I could put Google ads on this site, but I never really felt like it would be appropriate. We're bombarded with ads everywhere. Nice to see them here, isn't it?

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  15. Nice not to see them here, I meant.

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  16. Monkeyfish

    Ads might be a good idea for raising some dosh, but I think wellies might be more appropriate for some of us - think of deano walking the dogs across the fields in his Jimmy Choos ...

    Montana
    Fingers crossed - we'll get you & the lad over here one day soon.

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  17. Thanks, MsChin! Good to see you again -- you feeling better? I'll see your answer later -- I've got to get a bit of sleep now. It's 5 am here.

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  18. Good Morning all,

    nursing a corking hangover having gone on a worldwide beer tour in Republic bier hall in Glesga (it does something like over 500 beers).

    Started off in Iceland via Kenya, India, OZ, Argentina and ended up in Belgium before I staggered out.

    The worldwide beers give a very apt hangover as I feel like I'm in 17 time zones all at after a 27 hour flight.

    Anyway, a word on our old chum- CiF moderation.

    I lost it yesterday on one of the Glasgow NE threads at some posters whose quite outstandingly insulting posts towards the people of Glasgow NE were allowed to stand.

    Personally, I don't believe in moderation but if the things said about the people of Glasgow NE had been said about ethnic minorities or women, they would have been zapped quicker than shit off a shovel.

    It's the hypocrisy and double standards of the moderation which galls.

    It appears to be ok to accuse certain people of being pig ignorant, incapable of having a thought in their head, useless etc but not others.

    I wish you all a less worse hangover than mine. However, I have the magic ingrdient: A chilled glass bottle of Irn Bru.

    Goodbye Mr Hangover.

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  19. Montana - have emailed you so you have my address - I hope - not particularly good at configuring things. Anyway, if you haven't received anything, let me know and I'll try again...

    Right. Need milk, bread, and fags.

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  20. Just looked at the Whaddaya thread again. 'Lame' doesn't do it justice...couple of Vauxhall conference posters who've had their arses soundly kicked over here before now and a would be Dorothy Parrker who comes across more like Dorothy Cotton after a pint of Sherry. Much better class of insult all round about these her parts..

    Speaking of Dorothy Parker..

    "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to"

    Classic

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  21. Mr Fish
    Also, I'm sure Bailey's, Babycham, Pot Noodle and Farley's Rusks would knock themslves out to get to the lurking demographic

    Can live without most of those but have to confess to munching on the odd Farleys rusk when feeding small children.

    Deano in Jimmy Choos - with a Prada handbag draped across his Drizabone....hmm...quite a picture. Mungo will have thoughts on this.

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  22. Monkeyfish,

    pedants corner time. It's not the vauxhall conference, it the Blue Square Premier League North, South and National.

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  23. Yeah...but they're so "last season"

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  24. You could argue that rebranding the conference to the Blue Square premier League is a valiant yet doomed attempt to ''polish a turd''.

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  25. MW

    Thanks, I'm fair to middling, to use a Yorkshire expression. Sleep well.

    And I see habib has posted something of an apology on Waddya now.

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  26. Nellie Bly was an utterly fascinating woman - have stuck a piece on her at the end.

    Re moderation and inside jobs, discovered at Heresy Corner that Bella is Ruisbridger's daughter - I suppose you all know that already!


    1889: Nellie Bly Meets Jules Verne
    Elizabeth Jane Cochran was born in 1864 in Pennsylvania. Her father, a judge, died when Nellie was 4, leaving a financial mess. At 18 Nellie read a piece in the Pittsburgh Dispatch saying that women should keep to their proper ‘sphere’. She wrote a protest letter to the editor which so impressed him, he commissioned a second piece and hired her. She adopted the pseudonym ‘Nellie Bly’ (derived from a Stephen Foster song).

    Nellie proved to be not just a good writer but a brave investigative reporter, and at one point was thrown out of Mexico by the government for exposing corruption. In 1887 she was recruited by Joseph Pulitzer for the New York World where she continued to push the limits of what was acceptable for women reporters by getting herself committed into a lunatic asylum to expose its horrors. And in November 1889, in a stunt inspired by Jules Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days (1872), she set off from New York to travel around the world within 80 days, and in France took a detour to meet Verne. They met at Amiens railway station, wth a translator (and Mme. Verne) in attendance.

    Verne was amazed at how young Nellie was and asked about her route. She said: ‘My line of travel is from New York to London, then Calais, Brindisi, Port Said, Ismailia, Suez, Aden, Colombo, Penang, Singapore, Hong Kong, Yokohama, San Francisco, New York’ (Nellie was travelling light - two small cases, a reliable timepiece and some good flannel underwear).

    Verne asked why not visit Bombay, as Phineas Fogg had done:
    ‘Because I am more anxious to save time than a young widow’, I answered. "You may save a young widower before you return”, replied the gallant (smiling) Verne.

    Then, in a passage somewhat startling for the modern reader, Nellie records that Verne’s wife ‘put up her pretty face’ for a kiss. ‘I stifled a strong inclination to kiss her on the lips, they were so sweet and red and show her how we do it in America. My mischievousness often plays havoc with my dignity, but for once I was able to restrain myself, and kissed her softly after her own fashion’ (see also 1882: Oscar Wilde gets a kiss from Walt Whitman). Says Nellie: ‘I had traveled many miles out of my way for the privilege of meeting M. and Mme. Verne, and I felt that if I had gone around the world for that pleasure, I should not have considered the price too high’.

    What Happened Next
    Nellie actually did the trip in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes, a world record, and when she arrived back in New York she had become probably the most famous woman in the world. She was greeted with fireworks and brass bands, but not with the financial bonus she reasonably expected from her employer. Nellie’s experiences on her voyage had appeared daily in the World and were followed eagerly by much of the (lower-case) world as well as America. Nellie resigned in indignation, but returned to the World in 1893, and became a leading instrument of reform, exposing sweatshop oppression of women andthe struggles of unmarried mothers. She died in 1922, mourned by thousands whose lives she had helped change forthe better.

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  27. True..but renaming St James' Park the Sportsdirect.com@St James Park just took the all time biscuit for crass sports rebranding. Mind you, it's pretty much what they deserve. If a set of fans ever suffered from false consciousness, it's that lot. It should give them a sense of perspective. Hardly 'blue chip' is it? Even they must be getting the message.

    Maybe Netto will step up to the plate and sponsor CIF.

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  28. Your Grace

    How the Dear Green Place has changed. The pubs I went to usually had 500 varieties of whisky.

    As to the abuse hurled at the good folk of the Eastend (I haven't seen the threads) - what I remember most about them was the incredible work they put in (started by the women) to stamp on the drugs trade that was killing their children. And at great risk to themselves.

    I knew some really good people from that end of town - the kind of people you want on your side when the shit descends.

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  29. "Bella is Ruisbridger's daughter"

    News to me. Can't remember but I certainly hope I've hurled a bit of invective her way at some point. Wasn't she the one who nipped over here much to the delight of a couple of well-known abuse victims?

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  30. Edwin
    The tale about Nelly Bly is absolutley fascinating. Thanks.

    Sheff, Duke

    Unbelievable how holier than thou some people can be about their fellow human beings. And you're right sheff, I know who I'd rather have with me when the going gets tough. My mate's a Wybourn lass, and there's no-one with a bigger heart.

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  31. Monkeyfish,

    talk of Netto reminds me of the following viz letter:

    I've heard that supermarkets waft bakery smells around the store to subconsciously encourage customers to buy bread. I can only conclude that my local Netto supermarket is trying to encourage its customers to buy toilet rolls.

    Sheff,

    I know. Being born and bred in a similar area what you say is absolutely true and that was what enraged me so much about the comments made. As I said before, it appears ok to label certain people in a derogatory fashion on CiF but not others.

    Edwin,

    lovely post. Speaking of Jules Verne, have you ever read 'The Underground City'? It's set in a secret city built under Loch Katrine and was inspired by a holiday Verne had in Loch Lomond and the Trossachs.

    it's a lovely read.

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  32. Goodness no your Grace that's completely new to me - a friend has all the Verne novels will borrow it thanks for the tip.

    Was drinking in Babbity Bowser's last night with friends feel fragile. . .

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  33. Am I the only one without a hangover round here today?

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  34. Looks like it MsChin,

    go and knock back a bottle of vodka quick style, nip out for a kebab have 5 minutes kip and you'll be able to join us!

    Edwin,

    haven't been in Babbity's for years. Do random blokes with accordions, guitars and pipes still wander in for an impromtu sing song or has that been banned under Health and Safety?

    Just been reading some of PeterGuillam's latest Cif work.

    If CiF postings can be termed legendary then Mr G's is the twelve tasks of Hercules, Ossian and the lost Cities of Gold all wrapped into one.

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  35. Nellie Bly also the inspiration for the main character in a book about a female journalist investigating a murder at the world fair...have been wracking my brain for the title but come up with nothing. damnit. hate it when that happens.

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  36. I'm not hungover, even though I was a bit drunk when I went to bed! \o/

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  37. Duke

    A few of us here are PeterG fans.

    ***
    Just heard that the Halifax banking system is down, so if you're a customer of theirs, you can't get your card accepted in shops, access your on-line account or get owt out of the ATMs this morning.

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  38. That Viz letter has had me crying with laughter again. I tried to read it out to my other half and couldn't so I ended up taking the lap-top over to him instead. Brilliant.

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  39. Probably only a flying visit, but re: the WDYWTTA thread, of course its not very pleasant, but Hermione at least has come in for some unwarranted grief here, so you can somewhat understand. I'll probably be more discreet about what I say in the future.....

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  40. Well, as I said last night, I don't read Waddya anymore, but if any of them have the guts to come over here, I'll be happy to chat.

    And Bella is Rusbridger's daughter. Well, quelle fucking surprise. Who did Seaton shag to get his gig?

    Wankers.

    I haven't got a hangover btw, mschin (-;

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  41. 'Do random blokes with accordions, guitars and pipes still wander in'

    Oh no it's quite busy with media types - there was a film director in last night - and the other sort of upmarket squeeze box!

    Am going to the Scotia for a night out soon can't remember why but there will be music am sure(of a sort).

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  42. BB,

    there's another Netto related Viz cracker:

    The person who coined the term ''as different as chalk and cheese'' has obviously never bought Netto cheddar.

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  43. Update on Halifax - apparently they've turned if off and on again, but it's still buggered. They're going to try hitting it with a hammer and anticipate it coming back on-line later this afternoon...

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  44. the viz jokes are cheering me right up - keep 'em coming....

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  45. PB

    LOL!

    Also appreciating the Viz jokes today :)

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  46. "...it does something like 500 beers"

    Something like, Duke? Didn't you try them all? Lightweight.

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  47. LOL Pip.

    Reminds me of the old joke about the mechanical engineer, the chemical engineer and the IT engineer who share a lift on their way to a conference.

    Half way up the M1 the car shudders to a halt.

    The mechanical engineer suggests it must be the big end that has gone.

    The chemical engineer wonders if was down to some sort of pollutant in the petrol.

    And the IT engineer suggests they all get out of the car and get back in again...

    *badumching*

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  48. I have a shedload of work to do this weekend and so far I have managed to put it off. But I really must log out of here and stop enjoying myself and get my nose to the grindstone for a bit, otherwise I will just have to do it tomorrow instead. ARgh..

    Have fun guys - see you later on. xx

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  49. "Just spent £70 on a facial."

    Which one did you have done this time, fruitcake?

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  50. Bru, please, for the love of god, take that down. It is utterly inappropriate.

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  51. "Diddums you don't like being called names? Can dish it out can we but can't take it?"

    NO..please stop...you're SOOOOOO good at it. Your brilliant, pithy little well aimed jibes are just too excruciating...I can't take any more.

    Oh...while you're there...maybe you'd like to tell me what it was you were getting at the other night you demented harridan?

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  52. Bru

    OK, you've made your point, but surely you don't have to humiliate Montana by sharing this act of kindness of yours with the world, though?

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  53. Bru I second what PB said - dear lady not only is it profoundly offensive it demeans you.

    If you do not remove it - it will be cut and pasted and posted to your eternal discredit.

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  54. You're right deano, it demeans the lady.

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  55. I'm keeping out of this otherwise, but that's one of the lowest tricks I've seen, Brussells. Shameful.

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  56. ...and then you go immediately to WDYWTTA to crow about having posted that, and urge everyone to come and read it?

    My god, woman. Please, please take it down.

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  57. It's in the breeding..."blood will out" as she would no doubt say to her attractive top brass confidantes.

    Revealed now in her true light, and with only the sinister cryptofascist Rexmundi showing any signs of appreciating her latest low blow, what will our doughty heroine do next to try and recover her sullied reputation?...and how will kiz react to this stunning development?...pass it off as a 'misunderstanding'?...claim she was driven to lash out by constant abuse from the patriarchy...or condemn it unreservedly as she knows she should?...tune in next week for another gripping episode of The Beast from Brussels.

    The writing's on the wall kiz. Your friend's a sneering, condescending, self-serving, heartless monster.

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  58. monkeyfish - while i appreciate you're mad as hell, and think that you should get an apology for the implication that you were 'that troll' (which the rest of us know you weren't), you would appear to be banging your head against a brick wall, and you're doing it in a way that's not going to lead to any change.

    As this has resulted in really unpleasant knock-on effects for Montana (which is not down to you), maybe Hank's proposal of 'non-engagement' would be the best practical way forward. Yes, this should be just between you and Bru, but it isn't now. To avoid any more nastiness falling out on third parties, could you consider your views taken on board, and just ignore her?

    God, I'm bad at this kind of thing.

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  59. Philippa

    I was just about to post something along similar lines.

    Please, MF, let it go.

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  60. Comrade do not loose the high ground through thoughtless rashness.

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  61. Hank,

    Something like, Duke? Didn't you try them all? Lightweight.

    You're accusing a Glaswegian of being a lightweight drinker?!

    Next you'll be saying the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist.

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  62. Well...fair point

    but..Firstly, I hope you're not implying that anyone should actually believe what she posted above. If there is any truth to it then I'm pretty certain it's been stretched, mangled, exaggerated and spin dried to suit her malicious intentions. She doesn't exactly have a spotless record in the truthfulness department.

    Secondly...Now that she has finally shown her true face(s), I wanted to make the point that anybody still taking a lenient view of her her actions or intentions, has disturbing issues of their own.

    Other than that, I'll say no more on the matter until she returns.

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  63. Duke

    On whether Glaswegian drinkers are lightweights - you'll have to ask deano his opinion. He's a Yorkshire man & they are known for their capacity to imbibe large quantities of ale.

    And of course Nessie exists. Doesn't it?

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  64. MsChin,

    I've been fortunate enough to see a lot of the world and the first thing all different cultures do after offering me a whisky is ask whether Nessie exists.

    To which I give the most incredulous look as if they have just told me gravity doesn't keep you down.

    I don't know how to do an incredulous emoticon so consider this post incredulousified, or something!

    Edwin will back me up as to Nessie's existence.

    And I would love to hear where deano puts Glaswegians in his list of big drinkers.

    deano?

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  65. Have just asked Cif for Bru's 'go and see' post to be taken down on grounds of abuse.

    Bru if you are here, I actually enjoyed your posts; god I like shopping, I like opera and classical music (two concerts in last month) I even now have a Glasgow Waitrose to shop in!

    Everybody normal falls out, I've done stupid unpleasant things myself, and have no axe to grind between you and the guys here - please take the above post down.

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  66. Bru - Please take that post down. I agree with the others, it does demean you and is incredibly humiliating for Montana - what on earth were you thinking?

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  67. My Nessie theory is that she lives in a parallel universe, and just happens to live that has weak points so she breaks through form time to time.

    This is my account of the first sighting!


    Possibly while on a journey to Inverness to meet the Pictish king Bridei, Columba's biographer Adamnan (writing 100 years after the event) says Columba and his men came across Picts burying a man by the river Ness, who had been killed by a monster in the river. Columba then sent one of his own (doubtless eager) men into the river as bait: the monster promptly attacked but as promptly fled when Columba ordered it to leave his follower alone. This account is of doubtful historical merit as (a) Nessie, who was presumably on her way into or out of Loch Ness, seems shy and peaceful, and has never attacked anyone else; (b) Adamnan records so many miracles performed by Columba - drawing water from a rock like Moses, multiplying fishes like Jesus, and even driving a demon out of a milk pail - that they all seem a trifle devalued.

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  68. Ha Ha,

    just read Daniel Radcliffe has been caught smoking weed at a party. Any truth to rumours that JK Rowling's next book is to be entitled:

    Harry Potter and the fucking munchies

    ???

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  69. I adore Glaswegian piss artists - no other tribe would I prefer on my flank when are attempting to outsup the Icelandics

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  70. Already done, your grace - wasn't the first one "Harry Potter and the Stoned Philosopher"?

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  71. good man, monkeyfish. am off in search of wine and televised sport...

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  72. Goddam, have I got to the Harry Potter jokes far too late?? I knew I should have got up earlier.

    deano, cheers for the 'big up'. When you're at the World Drinking Championships there are few finer wing men than the Glaswegian.

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  73. Mr fish

    What Brus just done to montana knocks anything she's ever said about you into a cocked hat. we need to support montana now and if Bru won't take that post down I think someone else should.

    I find it it incredibly offensive but worse it's a piece of deliberate cruelty that is beneath contempt.

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  74. You are welcome Duke - it takes real men to sick it up into a glass and then sup it back down.

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  75. Sheff

    How do we take it down? Were you asking me? or requesting I remove mine?

    I'm just not choosing to believe it btw, or anything else she comes out with and based on past experience, I feel pretty justified in that.

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  76. Bru please take that post down, it amazes me that cannot see what it makes you look like.

    To suggest that Montana owes you special support because of what you say there is appalling!

    Can't say any more. Upset frankly.

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  77. Monkeyfish

    I meant take Brus post down - is there anyone besides Montana who can do it? Nothing else that anyone else has ever said on here compares with that post for horrible cruelty and outright stupidity too.

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  78. Dunno? I think it's probably just Montana. Well...there's always the poster

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  79. Deano and Duke: In journalistic drinking contests across the world, the finest exponents I have ever encountered have been the plucky little Finns, closely followed by one committed and committable Icelander by the name of Arne Arnesson. On the other hand, Glaswegians have done well under difficult conditions, as has a bold and curiously young contender from Eastbourne.

    I am a mere dilettante from Lancashire.

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  80. Mumford & sons

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrDVjmio7Ko&feature=fvsr

    I have a folk-y heart...

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  81. and little lion man (needs time to buffer)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E

    ReplyDelete
  82. You have got to give it to Damien Hirst for sheer chutzpah. Apparently Rembrandt was not a genius - with enough hard work and application anyone could do it, including him.

    Anyone can be Rembrandt

    In his dreams!!

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hi Peter, nice to meet you.

    Interesting one the Finns. You wouldn't think of them at first when thinking of the great drinking nations of the world.

    But then.....they did hand the Soviets their arses back to them on a plate in the Winter War in 1939-40 and the climatic conditions always mean the Scandinavians are up there with the best.

    My Grandad was one of those blokes who drank a 'hauf and a hauf'- heavy and a whisky, bam, bam, bam, bam....all night and it didn't affect him, not one little bit. He looked and sounded exactly the same as he did at the start of the evening.

    I swear it must be a genetic thing, that hasn't quite been handed down over two generations.....

    ReplyDelete
  84. Anyway, I'm off out.

    And as I bid you all a great Saturday afternoon and evening, if you're going out tonight I leave you with the wise words of Pauline Calf:

    If you like it do it. If you don't like it, try it, you might like it.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Duke: I, too, hadn't come across the Finns in that context before. My eyes were opened on a press trip to Japan in 1984, when the UK contingent comprised me, Richard Littlejohn (then at the Evening Standard) and a guy called Ed Something from the Times. There was a group of four or five Finns who, having discovered that the earthquake-proof hotel in Shinjuku had a bar that opened 24 hours a day, stayed in there full-time. Every time you walked past the door you could see a collection of bowl-cut blond heads bent over large glasses, and an array of Japanese waiters nudging each other and pointing at them.

    Even when we moved off by coach to some factory or other, they regularly stopped the bus at vending machines that, they were delighted to learn, delivered litre cans of Sapporo on demand.

    It was like the Finnish equivalent of Aladdin's cave as far as they were concerned.

    You're quite right about the Winter War, too. I first learned about that from a Biggles book.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I like CiF today. They have removed a certain European person's post and left all the ones which criticise a certain European's post elsewhere. Nice, CiF.
    Thanks, Edwin.

    Hi Peter & welcome.
    Even though you're from t'other side o' Pennines!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Hi MsChin. I haven't actually lived on the dark side for... oooohhhh... about thirty-odd years, but there's a bit of the old loyalty left. I did spend a lot of time in Sheffield and Leeds, though; preferred the former to the latter.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Peterjj

    There are at least three of us on here who live in/around Sheffield. I'm not a daughter of the city but came here donkeys years ago and have been here ever since, apart from a few years out in the 90s. Its a good place - even with all its shortcomings (architectural and visually illiterate city planners). Still has some of that old community feeling left and a fair bit of decent culture too.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I'm back. And I can't believe what I am reading on here. That is positively vile, Bru.

    Clearly you feel that money can buy you whatever you want, including people's undying devotion and friendship.

    How unutterably sad. And how unspeakably spiteful to do this in public, particularly when it appears to me that Montana has never ever done anything to warrant it.

    Montana may not be able to delete the post, but she could probably delete this blog page and start up another one. In fact, I think any of us could with "blogging" rights.

    All those in favour say Aye...

    ReplyDelete
  90. Montana can delete the post.

    We all truely know that it is not Montana that is tarnished.

    I very rarely disagree with you BB but on this rare occassion I say Nay.

    Even the vilest who shit on the porch be given a fair cahnce to clean up their own shit.

    I am delighted that the WDYWTT crew who choose not to post here are nontheless reading and thinking and learning - and speaking their honest disgust. - many of them have gone up in my estimation as a result.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Hi Sheff: I really loved Sheffield when I was there. I used to live in an ashram in Crookes, S3, and play aggressive dominoes in the West Indian pub that survived on the bombsite at the end of the road. And then a good friend lived on Heavy Gate Road for many years.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I am sorry I didn't get chance to deal with the typos before I hit the post button in my angst.

    I'll leave it as is I can think you can read my drift through my eccentric spelling.

    I know for a fact that she can delete if she so wishes because she was kind enough to remove one of my posts at my request when technically I could not.

    I do not wish to see our friend hurt (I am a big fan of hers) - but truth be known she will feel more warmth than chill from this page.

    ReplyDelete
  93. I'm not too worked up about Bru's comment. The package she sent was lovely and much appreciated. I am satisfied that I expressed my gratitude adequately.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I am going to have to make an effort one of these days and visit the People's Republic properly. The only place I have ever been is the Bradford Asylum and Immigration Tribunal in Pudsey, and the Travelodge near it. Not the most edifying of experiences though.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Hi Montana - what a dignified and measured response. Fab.

    ReplyDelete
  96. BB

    Come and stay with me - have got spare beds. We could get MsC and the Princess out and take you to some of the places worth visiting up here.

    PS: Theres also a large HO/UKBA presence. Perhaps I could arrange a tour!

    ReplyDelete
  97. There I told you so - the lady has grown a foot and more as a result of the unexpected manure.

    Loves yer Montana - we must stop meeting like this.

    A secret admirer.....

    ReplyDelete
  98. Sheff - I'll stalk you. Four of my favourite crew members in one place all at the same time.............phew

    ReplyDelete
  99. ps _ I'll sleep on the floor.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Montana - big hugs.

    Deano - not very secret, you daft wassock! :o)

    Sheff - that sounds like a plan for some time next year. We could have an Untrusted party! \o/ I wouldn't let me near the UKBA though. Or if you do, make sure I don't have any flammable liquids on me...

    ReplyDelete
  101. Deano - I would hope you would grace us with your presence at the pub if and when I do make my way up there next year. No stalking necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  102. A lady in horsehair - there is no way, sensible or other, that I could possibly refuse.

    x.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Oops, I just deleted the freak's post - didn't see you there monatana! I can put it back up if you want, but what's the point really?

    ReplyDelete
  104. Brusselsexpats said...
    Fine - well I have the guts and I want to straighten a few things out. Diddums you don't like being called names? Can dish it out can we but can't take it? Can ridicule people but can't bear to be ridiculed in return? Pity.

    OK I wasn't going to do this but given the level of vitriol I've had to put up with, without any support I will. I have had it with protecting people.

    Late August/early September I sent Montana a huge parcel full of stuff from Belgium and Germany which cost me (as it was heavy and fedexed) a little under 300 Euros. I was glad to do it for someone I felt had had a rough deal.

    This was just a try-out and I had in mind to do much more. I also promised to send another such this month in time for Christmas and I was planning a really big thing. In fact a few days after dispatching the first one I had already bought items for it so as not to rush things at the last minute. In addition to many presents there would have been money in it as well.

    It had been my intention, although I'm slow to start things up, to continue on a fairly regular basis till things got better for Montana, which they would have done eventually as her son grew up.

    When Montana needed support, somehow she always managed to find my email address and I always gave that support both then on on the PB. Everyone knows that.

    Yet when I'm vilified - not just once - but indefinitely it seems, not only does she lose my email address but can't even be bothered to say one word in support. Well my eyes have certainly been opened.

    Those of you who so enjoyed trying to blacken my name can sleep easy now that they have lost Montana a great deal in money and gifts. There were no strings attached by the way. It was done out of genuine sympathy, nothing more.

    But of course it could be that Montana really shares your opinion of me, in which case I would say "Enjoy the revolution."

    Being such a chivalrous lot no doubt you'll all club together and have a whip round to make up the shortfall. Hank can be the first to get out his checkbook. And Hank, when next you open your big cyber mouth - reflect on the fact that everything has a price in life, even for hardy class warriors like yourself (snigger).

    That's it folks - have a good Saturday. I certainly will and a great Sunday as well.

    Lovely comment of Dorothy Parker's. Just spent £70 on a facial. Get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  105. oops - oh dear now the dear lady will have to ask me or Montana to remove it.

    ReplyDelete
  106. She was warmly and fairly warned and has no basis for complaint.

    ReplyDelete
  107. deano, why did you post that again?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Personally, I think that whether it disappears or remains should be the sole decision of Montana.

    Anyway, I wonder if anyone can enlighten me as to the score of the Wales/Scotland game? We've painted, made cookies, read stories and played with water and now I've given in and put the TV on to entertain the toddlers.....Last I saw we were getting our arses kicked 3 nil.....

    ReplyDelete
  109. Scherf read the thread. From Bru's unwelcome post to the one above yours at 17.30

    I am more than happy to remove that post if Bru or Montana ask me to.

    Montana does not need my consent she can remove it whenever she wishes if she thinks that appropriate.

    I was once an educator _ I believe that we should all learn whatever we can, whenever we can - for that is in the common good my dear friend.

    My warmest of regards to you.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Vari - I hope you noted my acceptance of your wonderful offer - I fear it may have posted after you left.

    ReplyDelete
  111. God I am such a luddite, I can look on the internet, which obviously I am on - had been hoping for a miracle 4 goal comeback....*sighs*.....

    ReplyDelete
  112. Sorry Dean - it's official, you are honorary grandfather to a just about to be 2 and a 3 and a half year old.

    Think that requires some sort of party to celebrate!

    ReplyDelete
  113. Fair enough, deano, I only deleted it because I thought montana was in bed, and most folk wanted it removed. I think we would wait a long time were it up to bru herself. But, as you say, it's up to montana. Sorry, folks.

    ReplyDelete
  114. I just ventured out to stock up on beer and bits and bobs for tomorrow's lunch with the Wrinkly, and I cannot believe the force of the wind! Reminds me of the 87 storms, except I was in France then, not the UK, and it was bad enough there!

    ReplyDelete
  115. How lovely Vari - I have my glass in hand.

    Here is a fine wish for my honorary, soon to be two year and three and half year old, wonderful grandchildren.

    Long and happy lives kids

    XXXXXXXXX HGd

    ReplyDelete
  116. Ah, the big storm. I was down south at the time & it was bloody scary, then got back home to find my house here had lost half its roof!

    Also had to drive the M62 & M1 on the day the lorries were being blown over, a couple of years ago. That was truly terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Blimey, Ms Chin. That must have been scary!

    ReplyDelete
  118. Cheers Scherf

    What everbody wanted was:

    i) Montana not to be hurt or insulted by it;

    ii) Bru to remove it;

    Montana has now demonstrated her class and wisdom.

    It is now for Bru to seek her own salvation, the time for her control of the game having now passed. In the meantime all of us learn more from the crassness of it by thinking about it in idle moments.

    Hope that don't sound pompous - i hope you know what I mean

    ReplyDelete
  119. BB
    What was more scary was the lorries ignoring the 'HGVs leave at the next exit' warnings on the matrix. Saw one smaller truck actually balanced on the crash barrier like it was on a seesaw.

    ReplyDelete
  120. And now I've got to brave the weather & go out for a while.

    Which means I miss Merlin :(

    ReplyDelete
  121. And before you ask - I do take prisoners but I always let them go in the end..

    ReplyDelete
  122. Argh! I don't know what's going on, but my computer is still running incredibly s l o w l y.

    If it doesn't stop, I might actually have to give up and clean my flat!

    ReplyDelete
  123. Well, that's weird. I had a lot more space between the letters of the word 'slowly' when I typed that in. Where did it go?

    ReplyDelete
  124. PeterJJackson

    Good to see you again today. I'm sure you will enjoy your time here at Untrusted. Most of us do.

    We have some class posters here. There are not many days when I don't learn something new or enjoy lots of laughs from those who freely choose to post unmoderated here.

    It really is as the lady who set it up intended it to be - fun.

    ReplyDelete
  125. MW,,you could sell this years body of posts as a novel,,"On this day, the weather and the wether it is nobler"

    A gritty and searching exploration of 21st century class struggles and tribal values set
    on a trans global stage upon which stride stumble and crawl intimate strangers blown by the tempests of suspicion and blessed by the sunny radiance of peer esteem."

    after a long reflection upon why i am so strongly
    drawn to the dialogue here whilst rarely posting,

    (ignore slings and arrows)
    (scrolling, scrolling)
    (ifn thee as nowt good to say)

    deano and vari,, i have an honorary grandchild and feel it gives one a unique perspective on the benefits of the village raising the child,, a folk wisdom always presented as for the childs benefit,,but when we hang out she is just having fun,, i am finding the meaning of life,,a different meaning from having my own kids,,

    Deano,, when you let your prisoners go have you become friends,, do they flee,,do they stay,,do they come back to visit ?

    ReplyDelete
  126. 3p4

    This is quite an amazing website, when you think about it. People of all ages, from all walks of life and from all over the world come here to chew the fat.

    I love it here.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Never had much time for the Atlantic but this is a cracker...

    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/rosin-prosperity-gospel

    "Did Christianity Cause the Crash?"

    #More recently, critics have begun to argue that the prosperity gospel, echoed in churches across the country, might have played a part in the economic collapse. In 2008, in the online magazine Religion Dispatches, Jonathan Walton, a professor of religious studies at the University of California at Riverside, warned:

    Narratives of how “God blessed me with my first house despite my credit” were common … Sermons declaring “It’s your season of overflow” supplanted messages of economic sobriety and disinterested sacrifice. Yet as folks were testifying about “what God can do,” little attention was paid to a predatory subprime-mortgage industry, relaxed credit standards, or the dangers of using one’s home equity as an ATM.

    In 2004, Walton was researching a book about black televangelists. “I would hear consistent testimonies about how ‘once I was renting and now God let me own my own home,’ or ‘I was afraid of the loan officer, but God directed him to ignore my bad credit and blessed me with my first home,’” he says. “This trope was so common in these churches that I just became immune to it. Only later did I connect it to this disaster.” #

    In the words of a wise and sainted man..

    "It's feasible"

    Although you'd suspect greedy fuckin bankers and the inherent instability of Capitalism played a part. Might explain a lot though.

    ReplyDelete
  128. i forgot to say that my young friends fun is actually being in school with a strict and controling despot who doesnt even have a babysitter TV,, never buys candy or pop and who insists on excellence in grammar,,math,,handwriting,,vocabulary,, tree identification,, bug handling,,bird naming and song mimickry,,flower arranging,,money counting,,
    food preparation,,dog training,,graphic arts and computer skills,,she is 4 going on 9

    ReplyDelete
  129. 3P4

    I am Quaker like - we are all children of the moment. We all seek the truth. The key to the lock of your yoke is in your hands.

    I am told that once encountered I am rarely forgotten. I think it is a myth.

    I really enjoy your comradeship 3P4,,

    ReplyDelete
  130. What happened to rich men, heaven, camels and eyes of needles as a concept I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Generosity that barks its own name endlessly into the night is no generosity at all. It is narcissism.

    Bru - I have not once blackened your name, but you have blackened your own. What a lack of class.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Kings and Queens

    they blind your eyes

    and steal your dreams

    ReplyDelete
  133. Sheff

    Not to mention the birds in the air and the lillies in the fields.

    (I don't do a bad line in Christianity, for a Buddhist :p)

    Thaum - do not read my joke. You won't like it :P

    ReplyDelete
  134. MF - what a load of bollocks. If these are the people we have to look to to save the economic world, we are really in dire trouble.

    But we knew that already, did we not?

    ReplyDelete
  135. I hope that it is a myth - else I shall have much explaining to do..

    ReplyDelete
  136. BB - which joke where?

    *genuinely confused but have had a bit of wine so no wonder*

    ReplyDelete
  137. The prosperity gospel shit has really been rampant here in the US. Megachurches in the suburbs are particularly strong bastions of the notion that, if you pray hard enough, God will make you rich. Poor people are poor because they just haven't accepted Jesus into their hearts, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Here's an appropriate song for this thread. Dylan always nails it.

    ReplyDelete
  139. You two do realise that all it takes to comment over there is a google account or Live ID?

    oh dear,, have i posted that on the wrong site ?

    (class post MW)

    i would rather be a quaker
    than a mover and a shaker
    and turn the other cheek
    than use munitions when i speak

    ReplyDelete
  140. this blogsite is a village and we all here can be either the child the adult or the senior depending on our intentions and more significantly the rest of the villagers interpretation of our intentions

    ReplyDelete
  141. Megachurches in the suburbs are particularly strong bastions of the notion that, if you pray hard enough, God will make you rich


    cos then you can give some of it to the church,,
    i guess the book of James is not exactly top of the megachurch charts,,

    "m e g a c h u r c h" ,, ugly arrangement of characters,,looks like someone throwing up,,

    ReplyDelete
  142. 3p4 - can I be the village idiot?

    ReplyDelete
  143. oh wait ... I don't think that's an elected position and I may already occupy it.

    ReplyDelete
  144. 3p4

    It would good to have a space where we can alternate between child and adult as we felt the need.

    I'm out of the boss thing - never seemed to qualify.

    Leni
    Leni

    ReplyDelete
  145. Hi Leni - nice to see you here! You may indeed have found the place in which to alternate between child and adult.... !

    ReplyDelete
  146. Leni
    It would good to have a space where we can alternate between child and adult as we felt the need.

    We do that here Leni - and you're most welcome to join us - the music is good too.

    ReplyDelete
  147. now just suppose that one*blockquote* opened a tab for UT and a tab for the waddya where the comment box is now permanently open */blockquote*along with its geek widget shortcuts to html

    what would the result look like if then one could compose on cif and post on
    UT

    one last controlX and an alt-tab,, a controlC and

    Your HTML cannot be accepted: Tag is not allowed: BLOCKQUOTE

    try again

    ReplyDelete
  148. Great to see you here Leni.

    We are trying to sort out a welcomer - but in the absence I speak for mesen and really no one else.

    But I am pleased to read you here. Enjoy it's fun.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Thauma

    Thanks. Hello all northeners - I,m from Cumbria to Wales via Cornwall, Hampshire and Sussex with a quick glance at Norfolk en route.

    Finished up in Yorkshire once - when I stupidly hitched uo the wrong motorway.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Thaum - the one being rude about IT engineers.

    Leni - welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  151. 3p4 - yes, for some annoying reason, Blogger doesn't accept blockquotes. Use italics or bold instead.

    ReplyDelete
  152. thaumaturge said...
    3p4 - can I be the village idiot?

    by intention yes,, please do i will be happy to share that space with you,,power to the sheeple

    but by interpretation,,then no not in my estimation,,
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    hi leni,,nice to see you here,,

    bosses are the people who lead from the rear

    ReplyDelete
  153. Deano Sheff et al //Had quick look through previous threads -- like the diversity and the bordering on the sometimes insanity. An insane. of beat view of the world is the only thing which keeps me sane.

    Off to cook.

    Brilliant site Montana.

    ReplyDelete
  154. BB - oh, I'm rude about them all the time; didn't notice! Here's another:

    At the end of a hard day of debugging code, two IT engineers were walking to the car park together when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, "Take what you want."

    "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

    ReplyDelete
  155. 3P4

    You trying to be a smart arse? -;)

    ReplyDelete
  156. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  157. It's been a good day comrades - I may in innocence fall asleep soon.

    If I don't wake - be assured UT it wasn't something you said...

    ReplyDelete
  158. Deano if i were Buddha
    there'd be no woulda coulda shoulda
    and if i'd made a better plan
    i'd be like you and live in a caravan

    seriously,,i am jealous and so is my dog,,

    ReplyDelete
  159. That was meant to fun - not an early signal of known demise....

    Oh fuck it it's hard but enjoyable work here..


    resting....

    ReplyDelete
  160. 3P4

    Would you allow Montana/me/you to reserve a claim on your knowing poem:

    Deano if i were Buddha
    there'd be no woulda coulda shoulda
    and if i'd made a better plan
    i'd be like you and live in a caravan

    seriously,,i am jealous and so is my dog,,
    14 November, 2009 20:23


    The fund of which (when printed on T shirts would be to repatriate Montana (and £P4 if wished)

    ReplyDelete
  161. The fund of which (when printed on

    no rights of any kind reserved
    for my simple thought and playful word
    take it all and pass it on
    i'll be remembered when i'm gone
    payed in full
    in deed

    ReplyDelete
  162. BB,,its just rhymes not poetry,, kinda like the
    difference twixt 'Justice' and common sense

    ReplyDelete
  163. Poetry ... rave on, Thomas Hardy:

    "Ah, are you digging on my grave,
    My loved one? -- planting rue?"
    -- "No: yesterday he went to wed
    One of the brightest wealth has bred.
    'It cannot hurt her now,' he said,
    'That I should not be true.'"

    "Then who is digging on my grave,
    My nearest dearest kin?"
    -- "Ah, no: they sit and think, 'What use!
    What good will planting flowers produce?
    No tendance of her mound can loose
    Her spirit from Death's gin.'"

    "But someone digs upon my grave?
    My enemy? -- prodding sly?"
    -- "Nay: when she heard you had passed the Gate
    That shuts on all flesh soon or late,
    She thought you no more worth her hate,
    And cares not where you lie.

    "Then, who is digging on my grave?
    Say -- since I have not guessed!"
    -- "O it is I, my mistress dear,
    Your little dog , who still lives near,
    And much I hope my movements here
    Have not disturbed your rest?"

    "Ah yes! You dig upon my grave...
    Why flashed it not to me
    That one true heart was left behind!
    What feeling do we ever find
    To equal among human kind
    A dog's fidelity!"

    "Mistress, I dug upon your grave
    To bury a bone, in case
    I should be hungry near this spot
    When passing on my daily trot.
    I am sorry, but I quite forgot
    It was your resting place."

    ReplyDelete
  164. hermione,,i often have a great deal of trouble getting the first post of the day onto untrusted
    but one small detail that might help is if you
    post and get the message
    "sorry your comment failed blah"
    then do try clicking a second time without changing anything or going elsewhere first,,i eventually get the exact same post up on the second attempt when the first click assured me it aint gonna fly,,once the first one is up it seems to work ok,,

    i help that hopes

    ????!!!!!!!
    whoah thats a goodie eh ?

    hope you help yourself,, (everyone)

    too gnomic for my own conundrum

    ReplyDelete
  165. Yes, 3p4, good point! I'd got so used to the "your comment cannot be posted" thing that I'd forgotten about it.

    BB - if you liked that one try this.

    ReplyDelete
  166. dig then friend within my grave
    for you i shall forgive
    as you so often did for me
    a trust i found to set me free
    a keep me from veniality
    and a better life to live

    hey tommy me old mucker,,just riffin,

    ReplyDelete
  167. Nice, 3p4 - TH was a serious animal-lover, so I'm sure he'd agree.

    ReplyDelete
  168. 3 adore have some confusion with me breath...

    ReplyDelete
  169. Hehehe - I didn't know that poem. And I like the extra verse, too.

    That link is funny as f00k, thaum. Just emailed it to the other half so he can see it later when he logs on.

    ReplyDelete
  170. the dilbert thing is totally me but i am an artist not an engineer,,my kids talked about
    "dads laying on of hands" in regard broken appliances,toys games tools,,

    (just fixed my sons xbox last week with a piece of rope and an old paintbrush)GOSPEL

    the normal life bit was right

    ReplyDelete
  171. peterjjackson - have read your post from yesterday, and if you're about, I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  172. BB, 3p4:

    Oh, I've got loads of geek jokes. I collect them in a small way. Here's another oldie but goodie:

    Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

    If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
    If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

    The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

    ReplyDelete
  173. i had seen that one Thauma and thought it very funny and clever,,

    have you collected the one about the most common computer user error is called,,do you know this error codes identity number ?
    its I.D. 10 T

    ReplyDelete
  174. Two disturbing baby stories - the baby on life support over whom the parents disagreed has died. Another baby has verses of the Koran appearing intermittently on his legs -(see A Brown's blog).

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  175. X Factor over for another week...job done.
    Just took a look at the WDTTIL thread. Not sure if anyone on there referring to truculent posters has me in mind. Wish they'd make it plain if that's the case...it's always 'one or two' or 'certain posters'..one of whom, I think we can take it is Mr Scorpio..and possibly BW following an uncharacteristic indiscretion the other week.

    Not that I totally give a fuck, but since you're so plainly viewing the goings on here..if it is me, then do say so.

    Other than the last week or so when I'll admit I've been ramping up the abuse against a well known Brussels based philanthropist, I'm not aware of personally laying into anyone over there. If I have..and I've forgotten then please put me straight and I'll either apologise or tell you that you had it coming.

    Meanwhile I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the African orphans I adopted to tell them how much they owe to me and my superhuman generosity.

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  176. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  177. monkeyfish

    it was me who mentioned the word 'truculent' over on wdywtta. And yes you can be truculent at times, although i don't see that as a particular problem. do you want to make something of it? :-))

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  178. Invited by Bru to visit this site to read what I understood to be a post of interest to ciffers I was horrified when i read it - publicising it on Cif was even worse - mean and vicious. Twas the poster hurt - the target magnificent.

    But it brought me here where I found several 'missing' ciffers.

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  179. Hi Leni

    You were right about the baby story on Brown's thread being disturbing. As are some of the posts BTL. sarka's post made me smile, though.

    As for the other little one, a heartrending situation.

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  180. Some lovely lines in the Thick Of It tonight

    "I will rain down so hard on you you'll have to put together by air crash investigators"

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  181. "do you want to make something of it?"

    No, not with you Sheff. I'm just wondering why people over there who never come on here are worrying about the tone of the place..unless they're implying they'd be here otherwise. If so then surely they have to realise that the whole point of the place is that you can let rip occasionally without being modded/ banned etc.

    This sniping from a distance thing is just bullshit...calling for restraint and politeness etc. is just another route to censorship..a point that has been convincingly made before as far as I'm concerned. (OK..I think it's a typical middle-class/ liberal / Fabian tactic to keep certain types in their place and deny them a voice etc- I'm sure there are plenty who disagree etc but there ya go).

    Particualrly ironic on the day a 'much respected' cif stalwart who was always making similar calls is exposed as a pathological narcissist and Bella M turns out to be Bella Rushbridger...in fact wasn't it the appearance of that particular beneficiary of nepotism and middle-class exceptionalism which kicked all this off in the first place...a demand that she she be accorded some respect for deigning to descend and walk among us.

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  182. Oh I wish everyone could just get on and accept that sometimes even well intentioned pranks go wrong, 9/11 being a great example.

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  183. You gotta love these guys and their "Constitution", though, haven't you?

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  184. Right, wathcing the footy now. Back laters xxx

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  185. monkeyfish
    This sniping from a distance thing is just bullshit
    Completely agree with you there and as I said Brus comment today is by far the worst thing thats ever been posted here by anyone so far imo.

    BW
    sometimes even well intentioned pranks go wrong, 9/11 being a great example.
    Oh god BW - there's provocation and then there's provocation.

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  186. I want a pair of Jimmy Jews. Sex and the Concentration Camp.

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  187. MsChin

    I love this bit, though:

    "Dad's great, but listening to all that talk radio has put some weird ideas into his head," said daughter Samantha, a freshman at Reed College in Portland, OR. "He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care."

    LMFAO! Just reminds me of when my dad starts spouting on about stuff and I just pat him on the head and smile at him. He's 73 though, and entitled to be a bit doo-lally.

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  188. Here's staff benda bilili

    They know...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtVZhaZp6Ng

    yum

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  189. BW

    So you should be. What the fuck are you on?

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  190. Nice one BW...especially liked the "turn yourself into a cartoon" popup. Had you emailed that link to someone in Brussels earlier today?

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