06 November 2009

Daily Chat 06/11/09

One of those days.  Nothing interesting happened.  No one interesting born.  (Well, no one interesting who's achieved enough recognition to be in a "born today" list.  I'm guessing there are actually quite a few really nice, interesting people celebrating birthdays today.  Happy Birthday to them.)

It's Swedishness Day in Finland.

No reason for the Tasmanian devil beyond the fact that I like them.


  1. "It's Swedishness Day in Finland."

    Why is this restricted to Finland ?!

    I am going to do a comedy muppets chef accent at work all morning to do my bit.

  2. On birthdays can i put in a word for Cranhill boy George Young of the Easybeats - most of us have Friday on our minds


    Swedishness day in Finland? there's a turnip for the books!

  3. EM - George Young ?!
    He's a cool dude, and here's my favourite song by him:


    Covered to great effect by by Jamaican shock-rocker Grace Jones.

    Also the "favourite song ever" of radio DJ Steve Wright - not a lot of people know that.

  4. After the science chat yesterday, check out material world where they're talking about making tiny little machines out of DNA and bits of string (I think - limited practical understanding of the subject)

  5. "little machines out of DNA and bits of string"

    Excellent news. There is too much string going to waste ;-)

  6. Oh dear. It doesn't seem to have done well at the Seaton-Campbells' last night...

  7. Am supposed to be working. So am desperate for distractions. Have so far commented on carbon trading, lexicography, and the ethics of speechwriting. Bah. Need a lengthy argument to get into. Any ideas?

  8. Philippa,

    Will that be the 5 minute argument or the full half hour?

  9. Dot - I really need an all-dayer, so I can put off this bloody area report as long as possible...can I test-drive it to see if I like it?

  10. You can't test drive an argument..........

  11. No you can't..........

  12. Yes you can.
    [engages clutch]
    You know, while Bea Campbell is undoubtedly a fool, this doesn't necessarily mean that everything she says is equally foolish.
    [change gear]
    She could say "we need to breathe air to stay alive" and that would be true.
    She could say "both sides in NI have outlying crazies who are continuing to cause problems" and that would be a starting point for a debate
    [into third gear]
    She could say "and this is a scary matrix that we need to look at to stop young men being sucked into a non-Marxist masculinist dichotomy instead of surrendering themselves to the nurturing feminist structure"
    [hits tree]

    See? Then, you just take it back to the shop and try another one until you get one that works...

  13. No you can't...........

  14. PhilippaB
    V droll, you've made me chuckle right there (in a swedish accent too).

    For some reason reminds my of the bumper sticker my mate saw in Arizona:

    "Da Vinci wasn't the only guy who made shit that doesn't work."

  15. And much funnier than my attempt at rehashing Monty Python, which, lets face it wasn't an argument: it was a contradiction!

  16. heh heh. am running out of threads to read, may have to clean flat.

  17. Things must be desperate, do you want to clean my car when you're done?

  18. "Clean flat"

    sounds like a euphemsim for "lie on sofa and watch cable"

    I would.

    Shut your festering gob you tit.

  19. BW

    I beg your pardon? I wanted an argument........

  20. OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!

  21. New idea - start making christmas cards. there's nothing on TV at the minute...

  22. Philippa, if you're looking for a scrap, try the latest MP's expenses thread. This time it's Gaby Hincliff arguing that the review will damage family life and force female MP's out of Westminster.

    You know, if we'd realised at the time how difficult this expense issue would make things for our poor MP's, I think we'd all just have said, 'Hey, don't worry, take loads more dosh - you deserve it!' Perhaps you could attempt to argue this view BTL. That could be fun.

  23. "making christmas cards"

    Make some Monty Python ones !

  24. Morning all

    BW - true that. Whenever I think I am going to clean the house I usually end up lying on the sofa watching cable instead.

    Pip - that Argument Main Dealer is going to be reet pissed off if you managed to crash it into a tree on a test drive. I would go for a second hand argument in future if I were you. The insurance will be more affordable.

    Dot- that wasn't a contradiction!

  25. BB: Yes it was!

  26. heh heh - good cards. am sticking to christmas trees at the minute - but am mid-icon for the parents.

    BB - am always worried about second hand arguments, as you just never know when you're going to get a cut-and-shunt, such as "MPs fiddled their expenses - the reaction is sexist" or other such non-sequiteurs, guaranteed to blow up as soon as you get onto an A-road, and sit there with smoke coming out of the bonnet.

  27. An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

  28. No it isn't........

  29. I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.

  30. No it isn't.........

  31. This is beginning to resemble a CIFBelief thread...

  32. Look, let's get this thing clear. I definitely told you!

    I know what you mean about cut-and-shunts, though, Pip.

    I understand that the Daily Hate-Mail has been caught red-handed on that one on many an occasion, though.

    Daily Mail-o-matic

  33. But I paid for half an hour!

    Enjoying this you guys should go on TV!

    Re: Henry Porter thread - the 'its better for me if the kids suffer because i don't have to pay for it' are out in force aren't they?

    First to complain if damaged kids start to show criminal behaviour though! I think they think that that proves them right!

  34. Great link ! Can we have a Bea Campbell one too ?

    "Loyalist Rapemen Flay Wheelchair Cancer Tots Online !"

  35. Bugger. Got to do some work. Laters.

  36. Thanks all - a great late start to the morning..after an enjoyable night out

    Now then about those female MP's being forced into prostitution in NI... I like an undigested salacious argument myself

    BB - if Sheff was right last night and science is ok at dealing with the large and very large via Einstein or the small and very small via that quantum stuff then perhaps God lives in the space inbetween the small and the large ....at that point, part way down a black a hole, where the the theory of relativity starts to break down.........I'm quite fond of a half baked argument too.

    Man makes a decsion to breakfast on lavendar honey on Vogel Sunflower & Barley toast and raises himself from bed..

  37. BB - that's brilliant...
    Favourite so far:

    annetan - good point - goes back to the 'value' point from a week or so back - would you prefer short-term cash in the pocket, or a better world? Discuss...

    They're even commoditising pollution now, which some people seem to think is the same as taxing it. Taxing something doesn't make it a commodity to be traded, it makes it something you want to avoid making unnecessarily...

  38. And every now and then you get one you could swear blind you saw on the news stand the other week..........


  39. anne - have kept away from the Porter thread since yesterday. Not good for my blood pressure!

    Deano - that is too philosophical a question for a Friday morning! :o) Lavender honey is lovely though.

    I think it was someone else on here who posted the Daily Mail headline generator a while back, so I can't take credit for finding it. It is great fun, though!

  40. I think the dream Daily Mail headline would be:


  41. I made the mistake of looking at it again.

    Armedleftist is a complete prat.

    That is all.

  42. Maybe someone should start posting the results of the generator on CiF and see how many recommends they get..............

  43. WTF?

    I posted on the 'whydontyougooutanddosomethinglessboringinstead' thread and everywhere I typed an apostrophe it came up as a question mark when it was posted!

    It gets more bizzarre everyday.

  44. There is something weird about it, Your Grace. It seems to crop up intermittently.

  45. How about that old NoW favourite which reported the sexual assault of a laundry worker by an escaped psychiatric patient:


    Oh it's a sad world but it's a Euro lottery superjackpot tonight so I must get on and attend to the possible casting for my film of Frederick Furnivall in case I win..

    I'm stuck on who to cast as the large working class lass Hannah (nee Cullick) who was married to Furnivall's mate the poet Munby. A match made in heaven evidently.

    Munby was consumed with passion for the lass every time she emerged from the chimneys naked and covered in soot after she busied herself by climbing and sweeping them to the delight of her adoring husband.

  46. Duke - did you copy and paste from Word or notepad, or anything, or just type directly into the comment box?

  47. deano30
    Mate of my brothers, also a journo, once managed to get on the front page of a Jersey paper:

    "Old Woman Beats Off Attacker"


  48. thaumaturge

    Just typed directly into the comment box. Weird.

    I look forward to the day when everything we type into the comment box will be displayed as 'wingdings' or hieroglyphics.

    It would still make more sense than half the posts on CiF at the moment.

  49. Speaking of news headlines I'm sure there was a sports one:

    ''Tiger Woods plays with own balls, says Nike.''

  50. "And so did Michael Jackson!", say Sony.

  51. My parents local paper frequently has some corkers, although the only one I can remember at the moment is the one about the "carbon free house".........

  52. Allegedly the most famous newspaper headline:

    'Nudist Welfare Man's Model Wife Fell For The Chinese Hypnotist From The Co-op Bacon Factory'.

    You can actually google it...

  53. Come on Swiftyboy - where are you??

    This is your forte!!

  54. My fave headline was in the Daily Record when Inverness Caedonian beat Celtic 3-1 -

    Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious

    The Daily Sport is always worth a quick glance. They had John Gielgud's death on the front page thus:

    Butler in Dudley Moore film Dies

  55. Edwin - that Cally headline was brilliant. Who says subs are paid too much when they can come out with stuff like that :o)

  56. Edwin - a pair of delights there!

  57. Guys stop it!! You are making me ill ! ROTFLMAO

    *staggers off to lie down*

  58. Today's winner of the "WTF? Please sod off" award, on the sex education and gay kids thread:

    We must be careful how we mould the mind of a child in case we unwittingly create a generation of demonic personalities.


  59. And suddenly we're back to the Daily Mail headline generator:



  61. ...thus making it perfectly reasonable to lock them up.

    (think this was the only argument not used on the Porter thread)

  62. Nigel Farage has an article up. I know that it's nasty to dislike somebody because of how they look but...

    Fortunately he's also an idiot.

  63. Bloody Daily Mail - I may have to rethink the inclusion of Arthur Munby and Hanna Cullick in my Furnivall film.

    See what the bastards at that paper are drawing to the attention of the Mail Femmes:

    Furnivall's mate exposed..

    What might have been seen as an innocent Victorian love story will now attract the attention of the ardent bondage fanatics from the Mail.

    It's not the impact on the box-office that I was looking for - I just don't want to see Furnivall's reputation tarnished by association.... with Daily Mail readers.

    Says something about the Guard and Observer that I never came across a review of the book in question this summer.

    I might add the book to my Xmas list of wants though....

  64. Goddam, the knuckle draggers are out in force today. Just checked out the Fort Hood and Galliano thread.

    When I opened both threads this started playing:


  65. Heheheheh. They really do infest our site now, don't they, Mr & Mrs Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.

  66. In fairness to the Guard:

    The book in question

    was reviewed by them in 2003.

    Perhaps I could include Hannah and Arthur after all - but I really don't want to encourage any false conciousness about UT becoming a men's chat room...

    Furnivall was into more than that.

  67. Sorry for my careless posting the above review is from the Observer. The following is from the Guard:

    Guardian Review of a Love Story

    Taking both reviews into account I am now minded to include some reference to Hannah and her man in the film.

    BB - the guy was a barrister so in homage to your noble craft Arthur has to be included. In any event since Furnivall was a solicitor the potential for mischief is too great to be let pass..

  68. I was just reading the Mail piece about him, deano. Sounds like a truly dysfunction barrister type, just like the rest of us :o)

  69. I can't wait for Xmas - it's available in paperback for £8 on Amazon.....

    Hope I have time to read it before any final decisions have to be made about the casting for the film - still the small problem of winning the Eurolottery may delay things for a while.

  70. Evening peeps - thank christ it's Friday.

    It has been confirmed at work today that my line manager is being changed to the one person at work I know for certain is the definitive example of premier league evasiveness, total tosspottery and world class skiving. Cannot believe it! But it seems it's my turn. The bloke should have been sacked years ago but this is the civil service so he just gets shuffled around - sharing out the pain I suppose. They should have cast him in the Thick Of It. Not a good day.

    13th Duke
    I had a quick look at those threads and that was enough. Can't face all the bile tonight.

    Think I might watch Andrew Marrs' The Making of Modern Britain again. I watched two of them last night on iplayer - he has a wonderfully exuberant style and I loved the way he put them together. A really interesting expose of the Edwardian 'golden age' myth and enlightening too.

  71. GRRRRRRR! what the hell is up with Cif they have just lost a quite long comment I tried to make on the Home education thread!

  72. Sorry to read your news Sheff.

    It's a universal truth that I always gently tell my kids about - life's going along well not a breeze but ok and lots of fun, and then....

    I've come to the conclusion that when us older folk are finally advised that we have terminal toothache we should volunteer for a rapidly expanding body belt. I would happily stand next to the tosspot you describe.

    I always liked the idea of Dennis Potter calling his terminal "Rupert" after his old friend Murdoch.

    Shits at work can make a tolerable life something else - you have my sympathy.

    Happy news for me today - the Henry Moore photo arrived - it was me dad. And it had his name on the back of the pic.

    Lovely woman at the Foundation also sent me a copy of the worked up drawings Moore is believed to have been making of dad in the photo.

    A Henry Moore sketch of my dad - fucking amazing. Amongst many angles and views he has him recumbent in a narrow seam of coal - you can fair see the reclining figures for which Henry is renowned

    I will scan the pictures and email them to Montana for a posting/link here so that those interested can see them.

  73. Deano
    A Henry Moore sketch of my dad - fucking amazing You lucky old bugger - can't wait to see them. There are some beautiful monumental reclining figures at the Sculpture park - I knew your Dad would be in there somewhere. It will make looking at them a whole different experience for you now.

  74. Deano - that's brilliant! You lucky thing - looking forward to seeing the pictures.

  75. Bad news that sheff. Nothing worse than having a useless boss. So glad I don't have bosses any more.

    Deano - would love to see those pix. Fantastic!

    Anne - try refreshing or coming out of Cif and going back into it again - look in your profile and see if the comment is in there. Sometimes it is just cached for some reason.

  76. Thank you friends - I will scan and share but it will take a little time.

    My scanner/printer is shagged. I dropped a tin of dog food/bottle of something disagreeable on the scan deck a few months ago. The crack across the glass distorts.

    I nonetheless promise I will make sure you have access to a view.

    I am duty bound not to engage in my favourite pastime of indolent prognostication for ever - 'cos I have to make sure that each of dad's eight grand kids have a copy of the picture and drawing for Xmas. That ought to prompt me to action - I already have the noise of my much loved late sisters in my ear.

    Sheff - I cannot tell you how pleased I am that a casual exchange between our two selves a short (sunday) time ago lead me to email the Henry Moore Foundation with such happy consequences.

    Who says UT is an empty exchange - cheers our lass.

  77. yr welcome deano - so glad it's turned out to have such an exciting result for you. If your scanner isn't functioning you should be able to find a decent printer locally that will copy them for you. It doesn't have to be expensive - even when you use decent quality paper.

  78. Worry not there are techno's in me family I will sort it - still have to a decent mpeg thing to email to Montana for you lot to see.

    If we can get a decent image for you who are interested to look at I'll post some yarns about the bastard and the even greater bastard my grandfather (dad's dad) who had died before I was born.

    Tell you one shortly as an appetizer?

  79. bastard is term of endearment in my family. As it often is amongst working class families to the North of the Watford Gap.

    Catch you all tomorrow..

  80. BB - thanks - its in my profile and has had 7 recommends so must be up! Phew!

  81. Fuck - that wasn't the appetizer what sort of a tosser do you think I am?

  82. annetan42 -

    " The idea that physiocrat and anntan42 - two posters who I admire - have a shared perspective gives me hope for the future,"

    You have at least 8 recommends - you do have a wonderful capacity for the talking of good sense.


  83. Thought I should preserve this comedy gem from 'Jesusthecitytrader' on whaddya, just in case...

    "Flashers. Are they extinct?"

    No. They've probably been reassessed as suffering from a dysfunctional exhibitory disorder and been assigned outreach workers who encourage them to attend support groups with similar sufferers. In fact, for all I know they're probably being funded by yours truly while they sit about trying to convince themselves their alternative sexuality warrants celebration. Maybe we could have a Flash Pride festival somewhere appropriate...Barnsley perhaps? The Guardian could send a couple of earnest young reporters along who could write moving life affirming columns about how broad minded, tolerant and mature we are these days. Maybe Dirty Macs will acquire a certain radical chic.

    Then we can have a self-pitying piece from an old flasher telling of the horrors of those unenlightened times when the reward for his 'creativity' was a kick in the bollocks and a smack in the mouth and we can all post supportive comments comparing his treatment to apartheid or the holocaust. Nice..


  84. Oh yes, Jesus is good. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I'm trying to place the writing style...

    He's doing cock jokes with gulliver on the Simon Mann thread, if you fancy some slightly less edifying entertainment, btw.

  85. Martillo - you are an archivist of that which is a delight..full confusion.

    Cheers bro.

  86. An everyday exchange with Jesus:

    "Gosh Jesus - you have an angry position at 9.22pm above - was it really something I said or was it you my friend."

    Neither Deano. My country is being taken over...by middle-class women with counselling qualifications and an acquaintance with the real world similar to my acquaintance with the tooth fairy.

  87. I abandoned you all earlier without so much as a "by your leave" - thought we were going out at 7.15 til His Highness announced at 7 that we had to go then.

    Just had a very nice dinner round at some friends, now all fat and full and tipsy. Will check out this Jesuscitytrader bloke - he sounds like a good laugh.

  88. BB - righteous anger expressed well is always amusing, even when you don't necessarily agree with him...

    night all

  89. I must take some sleep now for the fact of the matter is that with a little editing of the above - I find myself in an uncomfortable position.

    viz - My country is being taken over.. by class confused gender uncertain folk with counselling qualifications and an acquaintance with the real world similar to my acquaintance with the tooth fairy's grandma

    Fact of the confusion is I thought that whilst I bent to tie me boot lace today.

  90. Not an altogether wise choice of a picture of the Tasmanian Devil Montana - it is a wild smelly thing with a shape I .............and temperament I.............

    I guess it's some'at to do with the red ears.


  91. Have this night trippers....


  92. B- weed

    The lass arouses my old 62 disorder .

    Joy Bro you pleases me to have you here.