02 July 2010


e-mailed to me by a friend, no clue where he got it

Too clever is dumb.

Ogden Nash 


  1. With apologies for the fact that I've forgotten who suggested it, I've started the first of what I hope will be a series of threads on the home page of Untrusted tunes, in the style of the "Songs about..." series on Cif (I prefer to think of this as homage, not theft). I've started us out with a theme of "Strange love songs". E-mail other theme suggestions to me at:

    thewildhack AT gmail DOT com

  2. Alisdair,

    your post last night re: Zizek was excellent. Bang on the money.

    Morning/Evening Montana.

  3. Mad cats huh....I've known a few of those. This one reminds me of one of my managers at work, to where I must now trudge off..Laters.

  4. apologies if I was digging a hole last night and missing the point left, right and centre.....sometimes I fail to take in stuff... a kind of word-blindness....

  5. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=125805047432582

    Sorry, tried to do the link following destructions and it didn't werk ;(

    The Fat Cat of Southwark Appreciation Society - an alley cat with his own farcebbok page.... check out the photos

  6. @La Ritournelle:

    I'm not on Facebook. But I haven't made my mind up yet whether that's because I have a deep-rooted objection to "social networking" sites, or because I just reckon it's slightly infra dig for a man of my age.

    Probably the latter, if I was forced to choose.

  7. Oh my sparkly vampire god ...

    This has to be one of the great ones, the really really great ones ..

    Savanah below the review of "Eclipse" wrote:

    Vampires by their very nature are aberrations against nature, because they're removed from the life-death cycle, hence the term 'undead' . I don't feel sorry for them, and get a real pleasure when they've been taken out and natural order is restored to the universe.

    Vampires with 'raw teen emotions'? I think it's disturbing that teenage girls are able to accept these freaks of death as potential boyfriends.

    Wow. Just wow.

  8. The Graun have poached the BabyBarista blog from The Times. Fancy flinging some shit around BB?

  9. Bindel alert!!

  10. @jenn

    I've answered you on the just-closed Whaddya thread. Not quite sure what the pb was...

  11. What is the point of that blog. The author, Tim Kevan, isn't himself a spring chicken or terribly junior. It's kinda whimsical/fanciful fiction (not much to my liking,FWIW), which is some kind of departure for the Guardian.

  12. Don't worry about it Spike I was a bit tipsy and getting carried away, I did have a point but I can't remember what it was. ;)

  13. @jenn

    Bindel on prostitution, no less.

    Well, to make things clear, I'm going to be staying well away from that one, not because I don't want to join in - I do - but because I've got unfeasible amounts of work and I can't afford to get dragged into a polemic and spend the next few hours posting insteading of earning a crust (and enough to make sure my republicdaughter and I have a decent time on holiday).

    But I'll be delighted to cross swords with all comers on the subject from July 17th on.

  14. OK Jenn, no problem. :-)

  15. @Alisdair:

    He's just shilling for the Graun as they attempt to woo the v. desirable "barrister" demographic away from the Times. Look how nice he's being:

    ..."particularly when their law section is now in my opinion the very best in the country which is freely available to all."

    Although as speedkermit rightly points out, that's not the world's most ringing endorsement when you think about it a bit.

  16. Sad news; Beryl Bainbridge has died.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. So farewell then
    Beryl Bainbridge
    You wrote An Awfully Big Adventure
    And like Keith's mum nearly did
    You are now going
    On one of your own.

    E J Thribb (17½)

  19. 'I'm going to be staying well away from that one, not because I don't want to join in - I do - but because I've got unfeasible amounts of work and I can't afford to get dragged into a polemic'
    thats a bit of a bummer spike, i hear your rather an expert on the subject

  20. Our Julie is out in force today. She's written a piece in the G2 The truth about the porn industry - interviewing Prof Gail Dines who appears to have stepped into Andrea Dworkins shoes.

    Having read the article (quite a bit to argue against and some to agree with), and discovered that men ejaculating onto a woman's face is, according to Prof Dines becoming popular - I can only say that if anyone tried to ejaculate on my face I'd bite their bloody dick off.

  21. @Sheff:

    "...and discovered that men ejaculating onto a woman's face is, according to Prof Dines becoming popular..."

    I find that rather hard to swallow. Ho ho.

    Anyway, they've always done that "pop shot" in porn films, does she mean it's getting more popular in "real life"? And if she does, how on earth does she know?

  22. @Swift

    I think she may be referring to "bukkake", which is rather like the previous UT hookline - things could get messy.

  23. Spat out rather than swallowed I think Swifty, I'm not a cannibal. :-))

    how on earth does she know?

    Well if you read the piece - she tells us it's deep research amongst a plethora of pornographers - who themselves, apparently, are rather bewildered at the increasingly extreme porn the punters are looking for.

  24. @Spike:

    Resulting in "A face like a plasterer's radio" as Roger's Profanisaurus tells us, synonymously.

    They've been doing that for yonks too. Or so I'm told.

  25. swifty

    You seem to be quite well informed on the subject. Is turning a woman's face into something that looks like a plasterer's radio a thing to be desired?

  26. @Sheff:

    I remember watching a documentary (a proper one, honest!) about porn actresses a little while ago, there was one woman who didn't "do anal", she said she was having difficulty finding work in LA, it was almost a prerequisite of the job apparently.

  27. 1st. My sincere condolence Deanno.

    2nd. An Annecdote, Apparently Native American Soldiers don't suffer much PTSD, they return to their families and 'act out' everything that happend to them, from leaving, training, all the combat, injuries etc. to their return. This process, and the acceptance by their community, seems to have a positive effect. I heard this in a pub a few years ago, would be interested if anyone knows more about it?

    3rd. Apparently more kids are demanding anal, and oral sex from their partners, as they wish to immitate what they see in porn. The absurd culmination being young couples not getting pregnant, and seeking medical advice. Telling the doctor, 'We have normal sex..' the doc then discovers that this finishes with the guy coming on her tits/face/arse...

  28. @Sheff

    Apparently so. From what I've read, bukkake (as its name suggests) became popular in Japan and then took off in a big way in Germany. No WWII jokes, please.

  29. @Sheff:

    No more informed than most blokes with an internet connection and the odd half hour spare of an evening for "defragging the PC's hard disk", I'd hazard. And personally, since you ask, watching a woman's face get covered in ten men's spunk wouldn't particularly do it for me, no.

    I am much better informed on the Profanisaurus, though.

  30. I should have added a smiley to the end of that.

  31. Swifty

    I can understand her not wanting to do anal - in my, (limited and somewhat distant), experience it hurt - a lot! IMO if men want to 'do anal' they can always fuck each other. And do, of course.

  32. Actually, it doesn't have to be a woman's face. I just googled the string "gay bukkake". 239,000 results, so it seems to be quite popular.

  33. Swifty

    I imagine the profanisaurus is on the net - I'll have to look it up - sounds interesting.

    Trudging back to work now.

  34. @Sheff

    Whether it hurts or not very much depends on the recipient and the technique.

  35. Is it me or is Bindel mellowing slightly these days? She came down for a chat on the thread and has been alarmingly reasonable.

  36. As far as I know/can work out (and I'm not an expert on this) isn't the 'money-shot' on the face or wherever something that's dictated by the mechanics of film-making (using film-making in the loosest sense), as opposed to what people actually like doing when shagging?
    In other words it's for visual effect: you can't show an in-body ejaculation (well not without internal camera kit, which might be kinda uncomfortable). What's curious is how a practice dictated by the cinematic (again loosely used) idiom then becomes something adopted in real life.

  37. @Jay

    Cheers, mate. I haven't got time to get involved in a thread that interests me greatly, and you're making it sound more and more interesting. :-(

  38. @Alisdair

    Well, it does have some rather SM implications. Dominance and all that.

  39. @Alisdair:

    Indeed, that's entirely the point - it's the culmination of the porn sex act. When this is captured on a still photograph, it is known as "lightning in a bottle", according to Roger Mellie.

    PS LOL at all us blokes "not being experts" on any of this...

    PPS Interesting thought on "real" sex imitating porn. Undoubtedly something in that.

  40. @ Swifty: PS LOL at all us blokes "not being experts" on any of this...
    Reminds of the old lines about speedy mammals. Forget cheetahs, nothing moves as fast as a bloke does across the room to the computer when his other half says "Don't log-off (end your session),I'll just nip on-line".

  41. @Alisdair:

    Funny and no doubt true. In other research news... among married men, "Delete browsing history" is the most clicked function in Internet Explorer.

  42. "Forget cheetahs, nothing moves as fast as a bloke does across the room to the computer when his other half says "Don't log-off (end your session),I'll just nip on-line"."

    Lol, i have no idea of the truth of this but from aquaintaces I've spoken to that have researched this awful misogyny online, it certainly strikes a chord...

  43. Tying this in with last night's discussions, Slavoj Zizek made a rum film a few years back called "The Pervert's Guide to Cinema".

  44. Seem to remember reading a story about Ms Bindel eating sushi off the naked body of a woman.Dunno whether the woman was paid to perform this service for our Julie !

  45. Apparently Safari has a 'private browsing' feature. What could that be for? ; )

  46. Turm

    Haven't you seen the windows 8 adverts, privacy browsing is for when you are buying your wife a present and don't want her to know where from, what else could it be for?

  47. And I believe "how to disable recent documents history" is also a very common search on Google. :-)

  48. "And I believe "how to disable recent documents history" is also a very common search on Google. :-)"

    Interesting.... hypothetically speaking i mean.

  49. What can be very entertaining, if you are on someone else's pc is to type, www.a

    into the nav bar and see what it suggests...

    Good way to see even the things they think they have deleted. Same with google, just put in a single initial, and see what others have been looking at....

  50. Do we have a resident hardware expert on UT? I'm upgrading my comp in September and need a mainboard with a sound chip that has stereo mix enabled so I can continue recording internet radio with Audio Recorder for free 5.6...

  51. @Spike

    Is this your set up?

    Microsoft Internet Explorer 8.x / Microsoft Windows XP

    If so, how are you proposing to transfer your existing windoze XP operating system onto a new motherboard? Interesting, or not, as you say.

  52. http://stream-recorder.com/forum/missing-sound-recording-option-stereo-mix-record-t4876.html?t=4876

  53. Swifty:

    "I'm not on Facebook. But I haven't made my mind up yet whether that's because I have a deep-rooted objection to "social networking" sites, or because I just reckon it's slightly infra dig for a man of my age"

    I have also have alot of issues with Farcebook - but you can still enjoy the link I think - the southwark cat so lovingly venerated is also a dead-ringer for our rather porcine Filay ;0)

    Don't worry about being 'too old' - but do worry about privacy....

  54. Trminder

    Suicide rates among black US suffering from PTSD are high - as they are among other groups.

    One report I read said that that a black soldier returning to US finds he is still black, unemployed and marginalised.

    The USAF runs virtual reality workshops for the fortunate few - very expensive. The guys re-enact the incidents which so terrified or damaged them in 'safe surroundings' knowing they will come out of it alive at the end of the experience. This helps to overcome the flashbacks to the moment of terror in which many of them have been trapped.

    One of the things they are helped to understand is that it was fear that motivated them and helped to keep them alive.

    More difficult to help are those who either participated in or witnessed things which betrayed their own standards of belief or values - such as rape.

  55. First sentence - "...black US soldiers ..."

  56. Aye Leni, wondered about that Native American tale, very wise...

  57. Peterj:

    "Sad news; Beryl Bainbridge has died"

    That is sad. I nearly got suspended from English classes at 14 for reading her 'dangerous' and risque novels.

    My sister always used to see her in the local Sainsbury's in Camden - buying bottles of wine and fags at 10 in the morning... ;0(

  58. Leni

    Please can I have some lessons from you on diplomacy and genteelness???? Am envious! ;0)

  59. Spike:

    "I'll be delighted to cross swords with all comers on the subject from July 17th on"

    I promise I will not tell you to Eff off this time ;0)

  60. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXnfsCjthuI


    Link to video - PTSD virtual reality.

  61. Hi Leni

    African American soldiers were disproportionately drafted to fight the Vietnam War.And when they returned their plight was largely ignored.Many veterans suffered from MH problems,high suicide levels,high rates of incarceration for violent crime etc.The way they were treated was shameful.

    btw relatively few middle class White American boys were drafted.Parents were able to get them out of it with student deferrments and 'friendly' doctors agreeing to classify them as unfit for service.

    Am expecting a Brazilian win but should be a good match.

  62. "Please can I have some lessons from you on diplomacy and genteelness????"

    I can happily tutor you, for a small fee...

  63. Many of the veterans interviewed described their tribes' purification rituals for returning soldiers, including sweat lodge ceremonies, talking circles, and the Hopi practice of giving their returning soldiers new names. Those who had undergone the rituals said these ceremonies helped minimize the effects of PTSD. Many expressed concern about the re-adjustment of the thousands of native and non-native soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.



    Your post encouraged me to look for more info on Native American soldiers . Found above. It seems that US military authorities are looking at the efficacy of these methods as well as advising the men to seek medical help.

    The giving of a new name is very interesting. Possibly helps men to 'cut off' from damaging experiences.

    Apparently NA soldiers in Viet Nam were used for their tracking skills and were often sent ahead of marines - thus more likely to walk into ambush.

    Were they better trackers automatically - or more expendable ?

  64. Paul

    Have found something about black US soldiers being more likely to be dismissed from army with 'pre-existing' personality disorders - in some cases after 2 tours of duty ! This suggests that PTSD is not being recognised but being seen as an inherent problem in the man's personality.Probably save $$$multiple and deprives the guys of the help they need.

    Could I but be God for just one day !

  65. LaRit

    i am currently working up to running workshops - " Bring back gentility ". Costs will be high but I am hoping for grant funding through the third sector. I will pitch it as a service to guarantee polite and genteel rioting among the poor and angry.

  66. JayR:

    Name your price!

    Leni - gentile rioting! Where do I sign up?

  67. I will need some coaching - have been invited to a local Lab Party meeting and it is rumoured that david miliband will turn up....

    Please feel free to e-mail me your questions!

  68. LaRit

    I think some Jews might join in.

  69. LaRit

    we need to formulate the questions so that they do not allow for get out clauses in the answers.

  70. Bloody Beckham getting around.... he's in the front row watching the Nadal/Murray match.... I hope he paid for his seat

  71. Leni

    "I think some Jews might join in"

    They're more than welcome - lol x berry fuddy!

    I'm very interested in trying to pin him down - in a Half Nelson preferably....

    If the Tulse Hill Lab lot come, he may well be in for a bit of gentle rioting!

  72. LaRit

    Millibug is only a practice target for the things to come.

  73. Yes! Go Holland!

    @La Rit

    Cool. :-)


    Yes, that's my setup for the moment. Well, whenever you change mainboard/processor model, you have to reinstall Windows, so as usual, I'll spend a day reinstalling all my software, tweaking it and then ghosting my spanking new installation.

    I'll probably also take the opportunity to change to Mozilla, since I strongly suspect it's Explorer 8 that's tying up all my system resources so I have to reboot every 24 hours or sit and watch the IDE light shining for quarter of an hour at a stretch as the comp performs mysterious operations that slow everything to a virtual standstill. I may even give Windows 7 a go.

    The problem is that a lot of sound chip manufacturers are now disabling stereo mix under pressure from the sodding music industry. There are other solutions, such as audio loop, but Audio Recorder is so delightfully simple, I'd like to stay with it if I possibly can.

    I'll have to do some Internet research during my hols.

  74. LaRit

    I would like to ask how NuLab intend to provide practical opposition other than silly oneliners and slogans.

    What woul be their suggestion - fully costed - for bringing actual jobs to deprived areas.

    Which industries would they develope and how would they provide the necessary skill and expertise training.

    Would they invest in science and technology and provide educational opportunities for WC kids in these areas.

    Don't want vague answers about nebulous training schemes which fund agencies.

    Lastly I would like to ask him how he would generate resistance to the coming horrendous cuts from the dispossessed and how many MPs will be supporting the people. I would point out to him this is as much about the dignity and value of WC people as anything else.

  75. Leni:

    I'll make sure I put the target on his forehead, if I can get close enough....


    No probs ;)

  76. Bloody hell Brazil,s out of the Cup.Didn,t see that coming although it was an own goal that buried them.

    Holland will be awash with orange tonight,throats will be cleared with ecstatic jubilation and celebrationary chocolate flakes will be consumed with greater gusto than usual.

  77. OMG!

    Holland are through? Will the Duke be pleased?


    Did you catch Tony Adams on Desert Island disks this morning?

  78. Paul

    On a waddya thread before the footy started I said Holland would win - because they are tall and wear orange. That is the extent of my footie knowledge.

    Surely they will celebrate with Jaffa cakes ?

  79. Leni:

    Truly, thanks for those questions....

    I'm saving them and will take a list with me and see how many I can work in.... it should be an interesting evening.

    If he wasn't a lilly-livered NuLab-ite, I'd quite like him.

  80. K - off to meet me old friend from BBK Bobs....

    I may or may not be gone for sometime ....x

  81. LaRit

    It is the lilylivered acceptance of neoeconomics by NuLab which so infuriates.

    I would also like to see a serious analysis of the economy - how we can institute managed change towards a mixed economy whilst at the same time maintaining and upgrading damaged communities and infr structure /transport systems.

    Disused industrial facilities and empty dockyards - what plans for those ?

    In fact I would like to change the whole futile debate. Is it really true that UKPC can survive only by destroying the lives of millions? What is his definition of survival in fact ?

  82. Hmm... Glad I made it out to the sales, these new speakers are great! The volume satellite was going on the old ones, so I had to keep opening it up and fiddling about to get the sound on an even keel. It can be exiled to the country now.

  83. Leni

    Excellent post from you on WADDYA ma,am.Tip hat!

  84. btw Leni,s excellent WADDYA post was at 5.49pm.

  85. First: YEA ORANGEMEN!!!!

    Second: Did some looking around for stats on PTSD. Everything I found (sorry, but you're going to have to trust me on this -- looked at about ½ doz. articles & can't be arsed to provide links) indicated that for Viet Nam vets, NatAms had about twice the rate of PTSD as the average. This was attributed largely to lower rates of receipt of services. No reasons for lower rate of ROS that I could see, but I think it's fairly safe to attribute it to lack of access combined with a bit of cultural resistance.

    Not sure why there's not much info yet about current wars (most of the articles I looked at speculated that rates were similar to VN rates, despite being fairly recent. Perhaps DoD hasn't released/doesn't have figures yet?)

    National Public Radio had a rather lengthy programme a year or so ago about Iraq/Afghan vets & PTSD -- you'll again have to trust me (& my memory) on this, but as I recall, officially PTSD is recognised as a legitimate disorder & consequence of wartime service. In practice however, military brass still tend to see PTSD as weakness or lack of character and soldiers are still very reluctant to seek treatment as a result.

  86. Evening all

    So happy it's Friday. Watching Andy Murray - first two sets down atm :(

    Just broke Nadal's serve in set 3 though, so there is always hope...

  87. No Enders tonight? Is that in case Murray goes into extra time? Ah well, I'll knock on with work and have a late dinner with Wossie.

  88. Tennis?..not exactly 'banter' is it?

  89. True that, MF. Not a trace of coaldust on those shiny white shirts. :p

  90. @Montana

    One linky reporting alarming rates of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
    Stiglitz is now on about 5-6 trillion dollars for the true cost of the Iraq war.
    Harrowing stuff.

  91. Hi All

    Well done Holland. Good game to watch, referee again questionable at times. Robben, despite being a fine talent, must be difficult to play against with his petulance and antics. Straight red was a good decision but players constant appeal for cards to be shown is a side of the game we could do without. This match showed, once again, that Brazil are not automatic winners for just appearing on the pitch. Dunga will be fried for this.

    Speaking of managers, I see Domenach has blamed the press for France's ouster. Says a lot about him, none of it good. Classless asshole.

  92. Montana

    ''In practice however, military brass still tend to see PTSD as weakness or lack of character and soldiers are still very reluctant to seek treatment as a result.''

    That doesn,t surprise me.And is probably the same in varying degrees the world over.First train 'em up to be real macho killing machines. And when they get PTSD as result expect them to admit the whole experience fucked 'em up? That they,re not as tough as the military told them a 'real fighting man'should be? Of course a lot of guys are going to be reluctant to admit that.It would be like letting the side down. After all 'only girls and cissies cry '.

  93. Just looked at waddaya...apparently Bella M's brought out a CIF T shirt..


  94. @Medve: Thanks for that link -- looks like a good website for reliable information, too. Will look at it more after I've watched Ghana beat Uruguay. ;-)

    @Paul: It is absolutely appalling the way we continue to treat our veterans. Really sad is the fact that, while the anti-war left has learned the lesson from Viet Nam that taking opposition to the war out on the grunts is wrong, wrong, wrong, -- it is the brass & government who are doing the maltreatment.

    Now, GO BLACK STARS!!!!

  95. "YEA ORANGEMEN!!!!"

    Funnily enough, 'orangemen' of a different variety will be staging their march tomorrow, spreading their xenophobic and racist bile through the streets of Glasgow. I'm sure Duke knows about this and can tell me more.

    The orange men are of flying Orange as the old flag of the Netherlands, for King Billy (William) of Orange who defeated the 'fenians' at the battle of the Boyne and thus ensured protestant control of Ireland- or so I believe.

    I think I will turn up, for a bit of 'social anthropology'.

    Meanwhile my Dutch gay male ballet dancers are still here. I will have to ask them if they followed the football.

  96. They have recently started advertising on TV here for one of the armed forces charities, showing a former soldier having PTSD flashbacks while he is washing the dishes. I have been trying to find a linky to it and I couldn't. Powerful ad, though.

    My other half's grandfather was given the Order of Orange medal, although what he got it for I've no idea. We have it now, holding it in trust for our lad.

    I'd rather have the Order of the Chocolate Orange, me...

  97. Just to clarify, that was a Dutch medal, nothing to do with Norn Iron and flautists.

  98. Shit. I was hoping the downpour would cool things down a bit, but it's just sent the humidity soaring. Apparently the temperature was over 35 in Paris today.

  99. @BB

    Is that the Order of Orange-Nassau? Foreign soldiers who fought in the liberation of the Netherlands in WW2 were awarded that one.

  100. Peter

    I have no idea! I will have to dig it out and take a look at it. It might well have been, although he was a tad old to be in active duty in WW2 I think, given that my father-in-law was.

  101. @BB

    I'd be curious... Post-war, it apparently turned more into an M/O/CBE thing for worthies of all types, although for foreigners it most went to diplomatic types.

  102. I am too tired and bone idle to go and look for it now, Peter, but I will over the weekend and let you know. :o)

  103. Montana - the music themes thread is a good idea. Only just remembered and took a look at it.

  104. @Nap

    The orange men are of flying Orange as the old flag of the Netherlands, for King Billy (William) of Orange who defeated the 'fenians' at the battle of the Boyne and thus ensured protestant control of Ireland- or so I believe.

    About the "Orange Flag" for the benefit of his Grice, firstly in Dutch:

    De vroegste voorbeelden van de driekleur stammen uit de 16e eeuw. De eerste versie die genoemd wordt is in 1572 een oranje-wit-blauwe vlag. Bij het sluiten van de Unie van Utrecht in 1579 werd dit dan ook de officiële vlag. Dit was de oorspronkelijke vlag van de Republiek der Zeven Verenigde Nederlanden, maar in de loop van minder dan een eeuw werd het oranje vervangen door rood, zodat bij het eind van de Tachtigjarige Oorlog in 1648, de vlag de-facto veranderd was in Rood-Wit-Blauw, al werd nog wel gesproken van de "Oranjevlag".

    The earliest examples of the tricolour stem from the 16th century. The first named version is an orange-white-blue of 1572. This became the official flag of the United provinces at the treaty of Utrecht 1579. This was the original flag of the Dutch Republic (of the seven united netherlands), but within one hundred years the orange was replaced with red, so that by the time of the end of the eighty year independence war (Peace of Westphalia 1648) the flag had de facto changed to red-white-blue, although it was still (also) referred to as the "orange" flag.

  105. Extra time for Uruguay/Ghana - come on, Ghana!

    Hello people - just back from a week away with yr 6 at Pestalozzi nr Hastings. Great week, lovely weather - absolutely knackered! Expect I have a lot to catch up on...

  106. OMFG now this is what I call a match.

  107. Hi Shazz glad you had a good holiday. :)

    I can't believe he missed, I think I might cry if Ghana go out.

  108. Shaz

    I am sure you had a fantastic time. That place looks really brilliant for kids, and with the good weather it must have been excellent.

    I had occasion to visit Pestalozzi briefly one night... My lad went with the school when he was in Yr 6 and I got a call at about 11.30 at night asking if I could drive down to Hastings and pick him up because he was so distraught.

    That was back in the days when we thought that his Aspie "traits" were just bizarre behaviour that he would grow out of, mark you. Since then, we have learned to manage changes with him far better (although as we are getting major decorating work done on the house at the moment, he has sequestered himself virtually permanently in his bedroom during the day, bless him)

  109. There you go kids!!
    If anyone ever tells you that cheats don't prosper, politely point 'em in the direction of Uruguay v Ghana 2010.........

  110. Nice one Turm

    I think hot nights and windows open call for me to repost what I posted on the music blog earlier tonight. Superb stalkerish love song.

  111. James - wasn't watching. Who cheated? :(

  112. @ BB - sorry your boy had a bad time. One of the boys in our class is ASD, and we were a little concerned about how he would get on. In the event, he had a fantastic time and in fact our instructor thought one of the other kids was ASD, not him.

    Was good to chat with some of the international students too - it's a great organisation.

    James - how true... :o(

  113. @BB - blatant Uruguay handball saving certain Ghanaian goal - then they missed the resulting penalty. Just crap.

  114. Uruguay.

    Pretty much for the whole match, but most notably in the last minute of extra time when they decided to play three goalkeepers at the same time....

  115. How the hell did they get away with it? Jesus, is soccer called "hand and football" in South America?!!

  116. Well, BB, without wanting to get too philosophical, there either is no god, or, he's South American....


  117. Unfortunately, after a week with year 6, the only music I can come up with at the moment is this... sorry...

  118. Hah!

    And did those feet in ancient times
    Walk upon Uraguay's pampas beige?

  119. @BB - have recently read Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time again. Still a good, heartbreaking book.

    I'm convinced that Aspergers affects teenage boys hard, but that the effects ease as they mature and find people they can relate to.

    Your lad might never be David Frost, or indeed Russell Brand, but he'll be ok.

  120. Here's one I was I was considering for the love song thread...

  121. Hank/BB

    there's a very good memoir by John Elder Robison called 'look me in the eye' about living with Aspergers.

    Made me laugh and cry in equal measure.

  122. Aspergers is a fuck of a weird thing isn't it, a friend of mine has a son who has it (he is kind of mid spectrum) and it is so difficult to even explain to people.

    He is 15 now and he is a great kid but only because his mam educated herself about the condition, she has some real horror stories about his younger years.

  123. Disappointing end to a good match. There must be a better way than fucking penalty kicks. Don't see Uruguay beating Holland. Should be a real brawl with Germany v Argentina. I'm picking The Teuts to control their emotions a bit better and win it.

  124. And let's all lay off Uruguay, please, people. Any country which discovered fray Bentos can't be all bad.

    Not sure if this has been posted on Cif yet, but the rumour running on the non-pc footie blogs is that the England captain, StevieMe, has got his teeange sister-in-law pregnant(ie the younger sister of Alex Curran of WAG central, who's been shagging a guy called Pancake, coke dealer and the undisputed top man in the Scouse bow-tie, steel toecaps and "you're not on the guest list" mafia).

    If the rumours are to believed, Stevie Me took out an injunction against one of the tabloids, and the judge agreed that it would be damaging to Our Boys' chances if the story broke during the most half-arsed campaign since Rorke's Drift.

    When John Terry was told that his glorious heir as captain of the Three Lions had been knobbing about but hadn't been slapped down for it, he decided to launch his abortive coup before the Slovenia game.

    Meanwhile, Rooney hates Lampard because Fat Frank won't pass to him, as well as the fact that Frank's in JT's gang, whereas The Roo is one of Stevie's capos.

    David Pleat gets paid loads by the Guardian to explain how we lost to the Germans because Muller and Podolski sucked our wing backs into Low's tactical trap. The truth is a lot simpler. None of our fucking idiots can keep it in their trousers.

    Pleat should understand that, given the reason why he lost his job as Spurs boss all those years ago.

  125. Tragic..but I like Uruguay too, as it goes.

    "I'm Ghana miss ya"

    Best 90 seconds of the world cup..tragic-sublime build up..almost the perfect spot kick and to be fair, once it hit the bar, Uruguay were through.

    Just watched it back 5 times...magical..Mrs Fish wasn't impressed, mind.

  126. I've never read The Curious Incident... because I am not sure I would find it an easy read. Perhaps I should give it a go. And thanks for the other reading tip James.

    "or indeed Russell Brand"

    Thank f00k for that, Hank! :o)

    His traits are mild compared to some kids, and he manages himself fairly well, but he still has his "meltdown" moments when things get too much for him, and he goes back into the small bedroom he used to sleep in as a little child and stays there for a few hours until he feels safe again. He is letting us decorate his current bedroom though, and has chosen the colour paint he wants etc.

    But this is the lad who wouldn't let us change our old 1980s telly until we forced it on him last christmas - and he still has days when he says he wants us to get the old one back...

    My husband went to the local support group meeting the other day and there are kids who are far worse than him. One poor mum has a child of 8 who will not wipe his own bum because he can't see it, and, as far as he is concerned, anything he can't see doesn't exist...

    Really we are very lucky with our boy, all things considered, even if he can be hard work at times. He is a great lad, and we get the added bonus of having an amazing guitarist in the house.

  127. Hank I don't know much about it but apparently Alex Curran hasn't got any sisters.

    Or are you taking the piss?

  128. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I despise S American teams. Fucking cheats. All of them. Hopefully, the Netherlands will hand their cheating arses to them on plates.

    And I hope Germany humiliates Argentina. I doubt that they will -- but I can hope.

    I must confess that I haven't read it, but Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin would probably be worth a read for anyone interested in Austitic spectrum disorders. I've seen a documentary about her and several interviews. She's a professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University and is autistic, herself.

  129. Boudican

    Was torn with todays Uruguay v Ghana match.Since i was a kid i,ve been a bit of fan of Uruguay.Would have been great however if an African country could have progressed further.

    Re Germany v Argentina that 'Hand of God' is passed down the generations you know.And may well do its worst tomorrow.Should be a bloody good match.Would like Argentina to win but i suspect your prediction may well be right.

  130. jenn

    "it is so difficult to even explain to people"

    Yes! There are so many things going on with them that are just, well, a bit weird but in no way life-threatening, but which makes life really hard for them.

    The thing that hurts my boy most is the social relations side of things. He really doesn't "get" subtleties of language and body language, and takes everything literally. And by the same token, while he has now learned intellectually that if a friend asks him if he thinks they are fat, "Yes you are, actually" is not the answer they wanted, it is something he can only intellectualise rather than reading unspoken signs and knowing instinctively what to say and how to react.

  131. @jennifera - just passing on what I've heard. If I checked my sources, I'd be a proper journalist, like Henry Porter.

    @BB - I distrust all talk of Aspergers. The autistic spectrum is very wide, as we all know. Aspergers is too often diagnosed by teachers too hard-pressed to deal with "different" kids and educational psychologists trying to justify their salaries.

    Happy to discuss this with you offline. If not, all I would say is that I'm sure you'll see an improvement over time.

  132. When there's two or three players on the line defending a free-kick or a corner, there's not a single footballer in the world who won't stop the ball with his hand and concede the penalty. And that's whether they're earning £200,000 a week in England or Italy, or playing on waste ground in Soweto, or playing in a World Cup. This sanctimonious crap about 'cheating', tends to come from people who know nothing about football and never even watch it.

    Still, it's a shame that the 'blackest' team have been eliminated. Perhaps the many white liberals here who have cheer-leading for Ghana can find another team with a few black players to take up the torch - try Germany (do Turks and Poles also count?) or Holland. The nineteenth century 'white man's burden' as reflected in the 2010 World Cup - patronising and racist, or just a demonstration of right-on credentials? Please discuss (no post-modernism allowed.)

    Come on, Uruguay! A population smaller than Scotland (3.5m) as opposed to Ghana's 25m. I'm supporting the little guys. I hope they beat Holland.

  133. First rule BB, never ask someone if they think you are fat. ;)

    My friends lad is obsessed with cooking, not eating he has his own rules for that but he has been telling everyone from the age of 12 that he is going to be a chef.

    He wouldn't study much unless it could be related back to his cooking and thankfully she has been able to come to terms with the fact that he won't pass any GCSEs (unless they are about cooking).

    He hopefully has a career before him and she has come to terms with the fact that he will never be academic and that cooking (even if it is just for the family) is all he wants to do.

  134. " Please discuss (no post-modernism allowed.)"

    Fuck off.

  135. "This sanctimonious crap about 'cheating', tends to come from people who know nothing about football and never even watch it".

    Well, I watch plenty of football, and I think it's cheating.
    And when I say cheating, I mean as defined by the rules of the game, as opposed to whether everyone does it or not.

  136. #The nineteenth century 'white man's burden' as reflected in the 2010 World Cup - patronising and racist, or just a demonstration of right-on credentials? Please discuss (no post-modernism allowed.)#

    As ever..that "loveable Wayward scamp who deserves a treat" view of a large and diverse continent is a fuckin millstone. There's a Victorian philanthropist feel about it all. BUT..they did play lovely, positive, inventive football...very pleasing on the eye and the highest tempo team in the competition.

    I'm missing them already but I'd like to see Uruguay do well. They're a proper team..bigger than the some of its parts etc.
    Oh god..I fuckin love the world cup.

  137. "S American teams. Fucking cheats all of them. And that is why I hope Germany beat Argentina."

    Jeez, leaving aside the fact that South American teams have only been cheats since Boorman, Mengele and the rest fled to Argentina in 1945, where the fuck was Herr Neuer's monocle when he didn't see Lampard's shot cross his line last Sunday?

    The Germans are the most despicable cheats in World Cup football.

    If you don't believe it, read about how Mighty Magyars beat Germany 8-3 in a group game in 1954 but lost Puskas to injury after he was cynically fouled by one of the "non-cheating" Germans. And then the Germans beat Hungary 3-2 in the final.

    Or google Jurgen Sparwasser and the miracle of East germany beating Beckenbauer's boys in 1974, and the implications.

    Read about Das Bild's involvement in the Germany-Holland final of 1974, and why Dannie Cruyff refused to let her husband go to Argentina in 1978.

    Or the fact that all final group games all kick off at the same time now wholly as a result of the famously fixed Germany-Austria game in 1982.

    Or read about Patrick Battiston's last involvement in a World Cup at the hands, or feet, of a German keeper.

    The Germans are cynical cheating scum. More so than any other team.

    I hope argentina whip their fucking arses tomorrow.

  138. scherfig

    What the fuck is wrong with wanting an African team to do well, just this once? God knows, in the great scheme of things, they never get much of an opportunity to shine. It is not patronising or racist, and nothing to do with right-on credentials or white man's burden. It is about what most of us Brits do best - cheering on the underdog. That is hard wired into our collective psyche.

    Still, nice to see you are still exercising your right to be bitter and condescending.

    Shame they don't have a World Cup in being a miserable fucker. You would sweep the board. If that is what people mean by being "edgy", I am really glad I am soft and squishy.

  139. Montana

    It's because when he's in the dugout he can't smoke.
    (When he got a sideline ban during the last Euros, he was up in a box somewhere chain smoking away).

  140. Deano

    How you doing? Been thinking about you. Hope you're bearing up. Hugs x

    Jenn - my lad wants to live in a VW Camper and busk...

  141. I think what Uruguay did was cheating, I don't care if every footballer who ever played would do the same, that makes them all cheats.

    I thought Ghana were the best team (althought they are shit at penalties).

    I did want to support the darkest team (right on Guardianista that I am) but sadly the Africans are all different shades.

  142. James Dixon

    The cheating was punished..according to the letter. What'd you do..declare them the losers and have them do a walk of shame to the airport? The procedures were followed to the letter...penalty..sending off

    If you're on about natural justice..get real..it's football. If natural justice had a hand nobody'd bother watching.

  143. Nice one BB. But how were Ghana the underdogs? A footballing nation of 25m people who have most of their players playing in the world's top leagues as opposed to a small S American nation who only have a few big names? Oh, sorry, I forgot, you have no interest in football, and know nothing about it.

  144. Hank

    When d'ya fancy a bevvy then? Or is it out your hands?

  145. Uraguay has been a strong footballing nation for as long as I can remember, Scherf. I may not watch much football, but that doesn't mean I am footilliterate.

    I certainly remember from the days when I was more interested in football - in the 70s and 80s - that they were a force to be reckoned with.

    And didn't they win the world cup once too?

    Not exactly a pub team done good, are they?

  146. Monkeyfish

    I'm not saying it wasn't punished.

    But I can't help but feel it's a little shitty that, ultimately, that act is the difference between one team going through, and one team going home.

  147. @scherfig - to be honest, mate, it's the World Cup and we all get to express our opinions whether we know anything about football or nothing.

    I'm not convinced that guys who support ManYoo just because of George Best know anything more about football than women who support Ghana because they're the underdogs.

  148. MF

    I don't read James as talking about natural justice or suggesting that Ghana should have won by default because Uraguay hand-balled. I just read it as someone having a moan because of dodgy play. Which is fair enough, innit?

  149. BB - am ok young miss.

    My twenty something foot caravan seems like an aircraft carrier deck without her'

    I hurt a lot but Mungo can't stop licking me.

    I spent a very fine quarter of my life with that dog. She was a delight there is only my sometime that I loved more.

  150. jenn

    This made me LOL on waddya:

    "Oh yuck Joe I am not jealous of the dinner party idea, if I want to watch a load of toffs laughing at the plebs I just watch Question Time."

  151. BB, they won the first World Cup in 1930. They haven't done a lot since.

  152. Well, they did OK at the 1950 one too!

  153. @monkeyfish - whenever mate. I'm flexible, if not supple.

    You've obviously lost my mobile number. I'll post it on here if you're around and can confirm you've got it. I've posted it here before and got nuisance calls from people from BrusselsGas so it will appear briefly(-;

    Actually, iirc, scherf's got it

  154. Deano

    Glad to see you posting here this evening. Was worried about you and if you had been awol tonight, I was going to try and find an email addy for you. x

  155. BB

    Uruguay haven,t been a major force for years.They won the first World Cup but haven,t done a lot since,

  156. "BB They won the first World Cup in 1930. They haven't done a lot since."

    They won the World Cup in 1950, scherfig. In Brazil.

  157. Hank

    What you were saying about the Germans cheating - I was watching with family over at my Dad's on Sunday and we were talking about how, right from the start, they were beginning to try and take people out. I can't remember who it was they started on to begin with, but there were two of them onto one of our guys, fouling him.

  158. Hank, mate, as you should know, I don't support 'ManYoo' just because of George Best, (I've told that old sentimental story before) but what's with the snidey women/Ghana/underdog thing? Are you trying to be provocative? Cutting edge, mate - you'll scare the horses that haven't heard it before.

  159. Winners 1930
    Winners 1950
    Semi-final 1954
    Quarter-final 1966
    Semi-final 1970
    Round of 16 1986
    Round of 16 1990

    So not too bad.

  160. After my ill-advised punt on Portugal, Uruguay in the work sweepstake is all I've got left. Reckon Holland will dick 'em though :(

  161. I lost my phone a while back. Just email me at fishymonk@googlemail.com. I'm here but getting off now.

  162. @BB

    In the Brazil/Holland game, Michel Bastos spent the first half kicking Arjen Robben until he was booked, and then Dunga brought on a substitute who could take over the job; Felipe Melo took it a bit far and got sent off as a result. In every game, there's targetting like this.

  163. @BB - yup, the Germans are racially similar to the English, athletic, hard-running and methodical. Neither country has the flair or imagination of the Latin sides. Where the Germans have the edge on us is that we believe in fair play and they venerate divers like Klinsmann or liars like Goebbels.

    There's a reason why Bobby Charlton is known the world over and Jurgen Klinsmann shares a shallow grave with Ernst Rommel.

    @scherf - sorry, why do you support ManYoo? I've forgotten. It's not your local team as such, is it?

    There is a certain irony in you slagging off others on here for supporting WC sides because they're underdogs etc as if that's what people who know nothing about football do.

    I'll let you join the dots from here.

  164. 1950, sorry Hank, that was a bit of a howler (I knew they won it twice, but my point still stands - they last won the WC 60 years ago.) Let's just say that they've done fuck all in at least 20 years.

  165. PeterJ

    Yeah, I s'pose so. Too much at stake for people to "play nice" I guess.

  166. "I'm here but getting off now."

    Alright. I'll email you.

  167. And we last won the WC 45 years ago. Does that make us an underdog too?

  168. "Uruguay in the work sweepstake...."

    Why do I think that the work sweepstake only involved teams with shit-hot riot squads?

  169. Hank

    OK Uruguay won in 1950 as well but haven,t really figured that much in the Cup apart from those two wins.Which of course is one more win than us!!

  170. @scherf - sorry, why do you support ManYoo? I've forgotten. It's not your local team as such, is it?

    hank, I'll refer you to martillos's article on football on UT2 a lifetime ago.
    which side are you on?>

    All our yesterdays, eh?

  171. @Paul - the first World Cup I remember was 1974 and Uruguay were there. I also remember Francescoli, Ruben Sosa and Montero in 1990 and a game against Wybourne and Hansen, which I enjoyed.

  172. Summarise it for me, scherf.

    Or explain, in fifty words or less, why you know more about football, or indeed care more about football, than the average ManYoo fan in Belfast, Tunbridge Wells or Bangkok.

  173. "Why do I think that the work sweepstake only involved teams with shit-hot riot squads?"

    I've no idea Hank, it's seems a bit daft to me

  174. Hank

    Sorry i was looking at their whole track record since 1930.Possibly lack of discipline has meant they haven,t figured as much as they should have.

    Was actually commenting as opposed to disputing.Should remeber to keep sticking smileys all over the place to let people know 'I COME IN PEACE'.But as a fan of Uruguay since been a kid i feel they,ve generally under-performed.:-)

  175. Fuck off, hank. If you couldn't be bothered clicking on the link, then don't bother bollocking on about summaries and fifty words. I'll leave you to your audience (hope you get an appreciative one). See you around, probably.

  176. That'll be the fleas Hank

  177. Paul

    "Was actually commenting as opposed to disputing."

    We only do dispootin' here, cowboy.

    "As a fan of Uruguay since been a kid...."

    Fair play, Paul. At least you've got a horse to sit on. There's plenty here who couldn't tell a mule from a nosebag.

  178. Paul

    Coming in peace on a friday night ? Keep weapons handy.

    Hi Hank

  179. @speedkermit - ha ha. Nice comeback.

    I'm still 96 ahead of you though.

    @scherf - "appreciative audience...." - funny thing is I don't care anymore and enjoy my time on here all the more.

  180. Leni

    This is the new me! Will probably last all of five minutes but it,s the thought that counts.

    btw-great post on waddya from you lady!

    Also i wanted to reply to your post late yesterday but the bastard thing wouldn,t go through.Will have to put that one on hold.

  181. "I'm still 96 ahead of you though."

    Talking to an empty room at half four in the morning doesn't count

  182. Paul

    the waddya thing - waste of time really. Got fed up with all the platitudes but thanks for support.

  183. None of my workmates have ever killed anyone through negligence and then claimed massive compensation payouts on the grounds of post-traumatic stress though.

    Or got early retirement on the grounds of incompetence.

  184. "Talking to an empty room at half four in the morning doesn't count "

    It does in my book.

  185. Apropos of nothing

  186. Of course not young officer.

  187. Fookin' hell, Lord Charles has turned up now. Can you make him talk whilst drinking a glass of water Hank? Where do you put your hand?

  188. class construct young kermit. Made me smile.

  189. Leni

    Trouble is that we,re entering the 'silly season' when not much seems to happen in the media. However i,m not gonna let this thing with ATOS drop.It,s absolutely scandalous that the Guardian isn,t taking that and fcuk knows how many issues more seriously .Your post was spot on and methinks that if more of us start regularly posting on waddya demanding the Guardian comes off the fence it may stir them into action.But don,t hold your breath!

  190. Evening deano

    Hope you,re feeling a bit better today.

  191. I'm struggling Paul but I'll get there. I have a fine family.

    And it didn't rain today.