05 January 2011


Skagen Fishermen - Michael Ancher

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
-H.L. Mencken


  1. "The real man appears online, where the only consequences are disapproval and insults, as opposed to a size-11 boot up his hole. Jesus..."

    Not at all. I'll call you a cock to your face, politelyhomocidal. And you'll laugh nervously, turn a tad puce and slope off. As sure as eggs are eggs. Because online cocks are invariably gutless cocks IRL, too.

    Morning, everyone else.

  2. And a bit of sad news for the ex-fey amongst us...

    Mick Karn (out of Japan) died of cancer last evening, at the age of 52.

  3. Thought it was my job to clear the thread ...

    *whistles & strolls through the tumbleweed*

  4. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. -H.L. Mencken

    I used to be young and stupid. Now I'm old and stupid. - Edward J. Rapid.

  5. When I was a teenager, the only Japan record I had was the 7 inch single version of 'Ghosts' (apart from the odd excursion, I was pretty much a straightforward metaller). A mate of mine, a famed Slough wit, used to ask "Who's Toby King?" whenever I played it. Listening back, he may have had a point.

    The Toby King Song.

  6. RapidE

    I trust that you no longer have it?

  7. Ah, Bracken: the eternal chocolate soldier...declaring yourself the winner sans the battle, as usual.

    Doubtless a legacy of The Catering Corp (along with your matchless gift for bland, stodgy concoctions of meaningless verbiage and your gift for cooking the books when share-dealing).

    Do come again...your comic antics are mildly diverting on a dull day.

  8. "...declaring yourself the winner sans the battle, as usual."

    It's a testifiable hypothesis, PH. You turn up at some UT venue, I say 'how ya doin', you miserable cock?' You shit your pants and FO.

    We both know that's what'd happen.

  9. Just read (or tried to read the Hakim Document! Someone posted yesterday that it would be immigrants first and then working women, reserve armies of labour are not needed in a recession.

    For me the only position to take is one based on how we value human beings. Capitalism only values us on the basis of how exploitable we are. Women are less obviously exploitable in the Labour market because of their necessary role in producing the next generation of workers.

    Socialists would value everyone equally people male or female. The work done by women in the home would be valued. How many times have I argued with idiots on Cif who deny that housework is work because its unwaged.

    Society will never become truly family friendly under capitalism. The real feminist issue as I see it is equality in the home based on the contribution both make to the family. This will be directly economic(outside the home) and indirectly economic (in the home - childcare cooking cleaning etc).

    The latter is still mostly done by women and is not valued by capitalism, women who don't work in the home are seen as 'dependant' on the man. Yet isn't the man dependant on her for cooked meals, shopping cleaning, caring for their kids etc?

    People like Harriet Harman don't see this as they employ cooks, maids and nannies (whose is valued because its paid(although not paid much!) - funny housewife does it all and its not!).

    men and women depend on each other the dependency may be the same if both work but its mutual and should be considered equal.

    Thats why I would civil partnerships for straight couples - the name says it all.

  10. women who don't work outside the home (para 5)


    Oh and agree with ideas refered to in para 1!

    Think I need another coffee!

  11. Morning all!!

    Anne, also, what follows 'would' in the civil partnership bit, last paragraph!?


  12. @bracken

    If you're shaping up for teeth in a basket, I think there are a few of us here who could give a pedagogical slap to a blowhard major from the catering corps, even if you managed to turn up sober.

    I tend to eschew violence, but in your case, I'm willing to make you squeal a bit.

    @those who've met him

    He isn't very small, is he? I don't want to look like a bully...

  13. Anybody know the whereabouts of The Duke??

    Amongst other things, I've got a music tip for him!!

  14. (ello?)




  15. You're another gutless cock, too, Spike: the only violence communists entertain is against their families, who are easy pickings because they tend not to see it coming.

  16. Spike,
    "He isn't very small, is he? I don't want to look like a bully..."
    Are you asking if anyone happened to be in the gents with him?

    RapidEddie - Toby King, ha ha ha.

    Mick Karn. RIP.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. (Sorry, got a bit too cheeky)

  19. I used to get wound up about what a complete cunt Bracken is. Then I realised that he's such an amoral waste of human flesh that allowing myself to be wound up by him is a power over me that he doesn't deserve to have.

    Just like Stalin calling himself a socialist didn't make it true -- Bracken claiming to be a human being doesn't make it true.

  20. JAMES! JAMes, JAmes, James, james, ames...........

    Can you hear me? me me me e.....

  21. Habib,

    ironically, not properly (ipod's not a big fan of youtube links...)


  22. Take a drug to set you free
    Strange fruit from a forbidden tree
    You've got to come down soon
    More than a drug is what I need
    Need a change of scenery
    Need a new life

    Say something, say something anything
    James. :-)

  23. @MW:

    I reckon PB’s letting his reputation get the better of him. By which I mean, he’s always been somewhat abrasive, and we all love him dearly for it, but I’m thinking he now feels he has to “out-PB” himself every time he posts. Because it’s sort of expected of him, somehow.

    He’s maybe also feeling slightly threatened and defensive, somewhere deep deep down in the little soft core of “Bracken”, far far away from that rufty tufty Kontakt-5 plated exterior.

    I say “maybe”, obviously…

  24. (My above in response to habib!)

  25. Afternoon all

    @The London Evening Standard has a story about a failed asylum seeker from Morocco who wanted to return home voluntarily but was detained by the UK Border Agency-despite not having committed any crime-for 5 years so that he wouldn't leave the UK illegally.He's now suing the UKBA for the period he was detained.WTF is going on?

    @When i heard of Mick Karn's death i immediately thought of THIS TRACK from David Sylvian.Strange given i was never a fan of Japan and David Sylvian and i don't think Karn was involved with this particular track.

  26. Ok, people, we've officially lost!!

    Go back to your homes, tie up any lose ends, and prepare for the end!

    We fought bravely, at great cost to ourselves, on many fronts, against all enemies, but it would appear that some were just too powerful, too well-connected, and too ubiquitous.

    Therefore, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you all....

    that mother-fucking Jaffa cakes are 'trending' on Twitter!!

  27. Shiloh: that's rich. This apology for a discussion forum relentlessly abuses me and yet my rare response becomes the occasion for your cod psychology.


    "I used to get wound up about what a complete cunt Bracken is."

    Yet it's never bothered me that you're a scabrous lowlife. You just need to spare us - and your son - the victimhood that you wheel out to explain why.

  28. "This apology for a discussion forum relentlessly abuses me"
    Oh boo hoo! Yet you want to call people to a punch up?

    And bringing Joe into this, well, just shows what a plain and simple low life you are.

  29. Peter - that comment about our hostess was a cheap shot. I honestly thought that you were better than that.

  30. Peter

    I remember a while back a newcomer took a swipe at you, including your kids in the abuse, and they were roundly condemned, even by those who you seem to have locked horns with quite ferociously in the past.

    Now, that may not mean much to you, and you're free to say as you please, but bear in mind that many here thought that using your kids to take a cheap shot at you was unacceptable!!

  31. MsChin: She calls me a cunt, I call her a scabrous lowlife. You take umbrage at one but not the other. I think I've reason to question your standing before you question mine.

  32. open brackets maybe because you are actually a cunt...? close brackets.

  33. James:

    I haven't abused montana's son - I've criticised her for using him as some crutch for her heightened sense of victimhood.

  34. Hey, Habib, that seabed IQ of yours is such a drag.

  35. It must be if it always leaves you down in the depths.

    Victimhood? "This apology for a discussion forum relentlessly abuses me"

  36. Take your time for a come back, fuckwit, let me a have a smoke.

  37. Hello All

    Just emerged from nearly 3 days in bed no food since Sunday I'm balancing on rubber legs and looking very cautiously at the world through one eye - it doesn't seem to have improved much. The world that is not the eye.

  38. Leni, you've made me feel quite embarrassed. I'm sorry, couldn't help it.

  39. Peter

    And I didn't say you'd abused her son.

    I said that people here, even those who you're not particularly chummy with, thought that it was unacceptable to use your kids to take a cheap shot at you!!

  40. Afternoon Leni, was wondering where you'd got to!

    Hope you feel better soon!!

  41. Habib

    No worries - much of the back and forthing here reminds me of camel wrestling. Lots of push and shove but no biting.

  42. Peter

    I didn't make myself clear - must be my medication. It was using her son that irked me, as James has pointed out.


    My sympathies, I'm still in recovery.

  43. Camel wrestling gives me the hump.

  44. Peter

    Come on Peter you know there's an unwritten rule here that whatever differences we have with each other we don't involve family members to score points.And fwiw i genuinely think you're better than that.


    Sounds like you've been throught the wars.Hope you soon make a full recovery :-)

  45. Thanks James

    I have realised that this swine flu thing is all a bit hit and mioes it even exist ? I asked doc how soon it would before it was safe to go out and about - bearing in mind they keep telling us young children and pregnant women can die of swine flu. No answer really as without lab test there is no way of knowing if I had swine flu. This seems irresponsible to me - another money saving trick.

    Apparently out of those reported to have died of swine flu less than 10% of cases have been confirmed - other factors not ruled out.

  46. MsChin: well it's just going to have to irk. Montana sprays him all over this site like a marketplace commodity.

  47. Well, Bracks, you do know how to sell them short.

  48. Leni,

    (it's probably best not to get me started on the whole swine flu thing!!)

    As for you, I'm officially ordering you to stay in, keep warm, drink plenty of fluids, and get somebody else to run around for you for a change!!

    D'you hear me!?


  49. @PB:

    ”…Shiloh: that's rich. This apology for a discussion forum relentlessly abuses me and yet my rare response becomes the occasion for your cod psychology…”

    And that, in turn, is rich coming from you. Stop stomping around blowing hard, lashing out and generally acting the cunt, there’s a good chap. You’re just perpetuating the hate with every ludicrously over the top pronouncement, you great flapping bell-end.

  50. "And that, in turn, is rich coming from you."

    Why? Did you read my post? It's self evident that the 'stomping' round here isn't mine. You sound as thick as Hey, Habib - and that's desperately thick.

  51. Afternoon all

    Leni - hugs. Hope you feel better soon. x Laughed at the camel wrestling. :o)

    Anne - it was me that was talking about Capital discarding surplus resource in the form of immigrants and women at the drop of a hat in times of economic melt-down. We only have to look at the way women were re-designated both socially and actually to being bare-foot, pregnant and in the kitchen in the 50s, after spending most of the 40s keeping the country's industry and commerce - not to mention farms - running while the men were away fighting.

    It has already started with the same old boring articles about how women cannot have it all, about how children of working women are psychologically affected by it, etc. etc., and Hakim's "study" - I hardly dare use the word - is another nail in the coffin.

    Also a further glorious bit of anti-worker propaganda being spouted all over R4 this morning. My mouth dropped open literally as I heard Evan Davis announce just before the 7am news that they would be exploring whether Employment Tribunals were just a means of workers extorting money from employers!!!?! The French have a lovely onomatopoeic word for astonishment which is epoustouflant, which just about describes the noise coming out of my mouth afterwards...

    P-Brax, you're an arse.

    Shame about Mick Karn.

    RIP Mr K x

  52. Swifty

    "...great flapping bell-end"

    Excellent. I will file that one away for future deployment. :o)

  53. "well it's just going to have to irk".

    OK, lots of things irk me that I just have to live with ;(

  54. "You sound as thick as Hey, Habib - and that's desperately thick."

    Well you've just nailed me with your wit, there, Bracks. Honestly there's just no come back to such an erudite response.

  55. MsC, when you say that you trust that I "no longer have it", do you mean (a) my mojo (a la Austin Powers), (b) that indefinable something that George Best and David Bowie used to have but lost (a la Trainspotting) or (c) the 7 inch single of Ghosts?

    I've lost the first two but I never threw away any of my vinyl. Most of them are scratched to shit - including 'Ghosts' I'd guess - but two remain pristine: My 12 inch single version of 'Motorhead' by Motorhead (their first ever single) and my 7 inch version of 'This Charming Man' by The Smiths. Both are worth approximately thruppence each on eBay, but they're little bits of Rapid history to me.

  56. Anne & BB

    The reserve army of labour theory - women are pulled into the labour market when it suits capital and dropped back into the home when it doesn't. Veronica Beechey had some interesting stuff to say about this way back in 1977, but unfortunately she is no longer with us.

  57. Nice one, Habib.

    I have a good one too, although it is more for generally blowing one's top...

  58. "Excellent. I will file that one away for future deployment. :o)"

    Hmm, what will I file away? Oh, I know: a casual drunk who-likes-hubby-but-prefers-to-mentally-fuck-online-with-all-an'-sundry.

    Tad long, but apposite.

  59. Ahhh...Trainspotting. Great film, not only for the music. One of the best rants on celluloid:

    Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
    Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars,
    compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
    health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
    interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
    friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
    three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
    Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
    Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
    game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose
    rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
    home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up
    brats you spawned to replace yourself.

    Choose your future.

    Choose life.

  60. Soz P-Brax but on a scale of one to Bitey that was somewhere in the minuses.

    Try harder next time.

  61. (And my husband posts on CiF, although never on Waddya. :p)

  62. Back in a bit, so you should have more time to think up something really cutting and...er...apposite, P-Brax.

  63. Bracken, changing target?

    Are you still shit scared that I will always make you look like the fop that you are? All borrowed robes with nothing inside.

  64. Anne/MsChin/BB

    When people talk about a reserve army of labour they invariably describe it as something that is gender specific-namely female.But sometimes i think people forget that in many working class communities the women have always had to seek paid employment come what may.And that not bringing in an income to the household was never an option for them.

    Nowadays most working aged couple households need at least 1 and a half incomes coming in to provide a halfway decent standard of living.So not working is really only an option for middle class women who have a partner who's earning a decent crust.

    I make no apology for saying that the middle class women who dominate the debate as to whether mothers should work or not really piss me off big time.Because they rarely if ever acknowledge that the mothers who don't need to work usually need to be living with a man who's earning a significantly above average income.And that for most women it simply isn't an option.

    Finally i think the reserve army of labour in Britian today is largely made up of the over 50,s,the disabled and people from ethnic mionority communities.And consists of people of BOTH sexes.

  65. Bracken: The Comedy Gift That Keeps Giving.

    The chocolate Major will, I have no doubt, be delighted to know that I am (even as we speak and assess his essential worthlessness) collating his prison diaries--Bracken: The Anal Rape Years.

    Seriously, son....we understand why you're so interested (or desperate to appear 'disinterested') in cock.

    There's no shame in it. Just admit that you're a dim-witted, right-wing homo, like your buddy Mandelson. Now, fuck off to someplace where you'll fit in--like Mykonos.

    I mean...Jesus...I might even give you a little ride myself...except..yer too fuckin' dim, too fuckin' fat and altogether too fuckin' red-faced...aside from that, yer brand new.

  66. "right-wing homo, like your buddy Mandelson. Now, fuck off to someplace where you'll fit in--like Mykonos."

    Didn't like that, politely.

  67. Paul

    Not disagreeing with you at all - Marx's RAL theory was never gender specific and I only brought up the gendered RAL point in response to discussion about Hakim's preference theory. As for working class women's crucial contribution to family income, I'm in that boat - just like my mother and grandmother & great grandmother before me.

  68. habibi, you're every bit as vapid as that idiot Bracken. What you 'like' and 'don't like' are matters of inconsequence to rival news of the royal wedding or Lady Gaga's choice in underwear. Stick to 'chirpy' nothings...it's what you do best.

  69. Just saying I didn't like it, not insulting you.

  70. Forgive, me it's gone five. Song for anyone who wants to shout loudest and say nothing.

  71. Anne

    "I make no apology for saying that the middle class women who dominate the debate as to whether mothers should work or not really piss me off big time.Because they rarely if ever acknowledge that the mothers who don't need to work usually need to be living with a man who's earning a significantly above average income.And that for most women it simply isn't an option."

    Very true.

    I agree with this bit too:

    "Finally i think the reserve army of labour in Britian today is largely made up of the over 50,s,the disabled and people from ethnic mionority communities.And consists of people of BOTH sexes."

    But...I also think we are going to see increasing numbers of immigrants/ethnic minorities and women thrown on the scrap-heap, and increased societal pressure to facilitate it.

  72. Sorry, Paul, I thought it was Anne who had posted that. Bad reading skillez this evening.

  73. BB
    Yes I heard that about employment tribunals too! Unbelievable!

    You a absolutely right about womwn in the labour force, a reserve army of labour indeed!

    One of the many things that annoys me about that paper is the blithe way it just says women 'choose' the lower paid jobs. An amazing statement considering we really don't know how much of male/female 'characteristics' is inborn and how much down to social conditioning.

    We do know that individual men and women very often don't conform to the stereotype.

    But individual needs come second to the needs of capital the result is lots of unhappy unfulfilled people.

  74. Phone call from SWALEC - electricity supplier - with whom I have a long standing feud re. their less than transparent pricing system.

    They now admit they owe me over £1,000. It's always worth fighting these people though it can be hard work sometimes. They always assume we are more stupid than they are.

  75. That's great news, Leni.

    Ask them for the interest on it too. :p

    Anne - I am still seething from that bloody paper, to be honest. It's all so bloody self-referential and circular in its logic.

    I see someone on Waddya has proposed an ATL piece from Hakim - David Shariatmadari is considering it. That will be fun! :o)

  76. Bloody.

    Did I say bloody? :p

    Grr. Grumpy bum today. Very sweary.

  77. Just a bit of crowdsourcing - has anyone read anything dumber than this so far this year? http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/joan-smith/joan-smith-how-about-telling-men-not-women-to-stay-indoors-2175960.html

  78. MsChin/BB

    I wasn't disagreeing with anyone here.It's just the concept of a reserve army of labour is too often described as being gender specific when the reality as you both know is that it isn't nowadays.Plus the historical phenomenon of women being pulled into the workforce when they're needed and pushed out again when they're not is largely also historically irrelevant to many working class women.For even if they were pushed out of the workforce they still had to quickly find something else which often meant them having to clean up the shit of middle class households until something better came up..

  79. Well, while I am on the subject of "Choose Life" as I was earlier...


  80. Paul, you are of course quite right, women are a reserve army of labour, but that reserve army does indeed include people of all races and both genders.

    The 'advantage' to capital of women as a RAL is that the old tradition of the man as the sole breadwinner can come into play and the capitalists can persuaded that there no need to pay them benefits. only true for married women of course!

    Which why the Hakim piece is so dangerous in the present climate.

  81. Evening all

    Little film from Gaza that's worth a watch

    One family in Gaza

  82. Anne

    Just saw your post.I've got to sign off now but i'll try and reply later. Hope you're well.

  83. Don't know if anyone else has posted it but Nightporter was always my favourite from Japan.

  84. ' WAS largely also historically irrelevant.......' and not ' IS largely also historically irrelevant........'

    Right i'm off!

  85. That film is so moving, Sheff.

    And what an amazing man, after all they have lived through, to be able to say:

    "The bitterness in my heart and my sorrow over my son, I don't want any human to experience it, Israeli or Arab.

    Yes my home was destroyed, my life was destroyed. but this didn't destroy what's inside me. "


  86. Sheff, that was... well I don't cry much.

    "When Ibrahim was killed, we made a poster for him. They showed me some designs with head bands and holding weapons... for a kid!

    Ibrahim was never violent and never liked weapons. He always had a smile on his face. That's why I didn't want any form of violence or weapons, or political affiliation on his poster like Fatah or Hamas...

    I made it with children, stars, bright future... full of hope and with a smile."

  87. He is rather a great soul BB, I agree.

    Some more sad newsto add to all the rest - Joe Bageant, whose epistles from the redneck heartland in the US I have periodically linked to here has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Taking it on the chin like the rock solid bloke he is.

    A note from Joe

  88. I am sure everyone here will join me in raising three resounding "Hurrahs!" to the Flying Pizza Monster and the Sky People, who have ensured that we can sleep soundly in our beds knowing that our glorious MPs will soon be able, once again, to pilfer from the public purse and stick their snouts in the trough of plenty bestowed by hardworking families and hard-pressed taxpayers with the simpering smiles of impunity and the licked lips of a just and deserving cause.


    MPs' expenses will increase after watchdog backs down

    MPs may be allowed to claim more taxpayers’ money to rent larger second homes after the expenses watchdog signalled tough rules on parliamentary allowances will be watered down.

    Amid growing anger from MPs about the current expenses regime, the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority said it will review the rules on allowances. More MPs could be allowed to claim for second homes, and more money could be spent on travel for members' children.

    Ipsa, which has been threatened with abolition by David Cameron, admitted that its rules are “not perfect” and promised to listen to MPs’ concerns. Long-term changes could mean a “less demanding” approach where members are given greater responsibility for claims.

    It made the announcement even as its own polling showed most voters do not trust MPs on expenses and want an even harsher regime.

    So, that'll be, let's see - oh, yes! - three hurrahs and trebles all round!

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

  89. We're all in this together, though, AB. So I think you are being a bit mean there.

    I am pretty sure the poor, the ill and the dispossessed will be given more than enough money for their expenses, their children's travel and a nice second home to live in too.

    Well, I say more than enough. I mean "enough to keep them on the poverty line" of course, but you get my drift.

    Or, to summarise in four words.

    Heartless Thieving Tory Fuckers.

  90. Ah - that sense of entitlement AB - seems it's perfectly legit if you're an MP but makes you an idle, scrounging scumbag if you're unemployed and applying for housing benefit.

  91. evening all!


    will be interesting to see how the opposition spins this.....bet there won't be a a whimper out of them...........

  92. I see Atoms has beaten me to it, but I was going to point you in the direction of the 'principles to replace MP's expenses rules'!!


    In place of rules that were specifically created because the fuckers used every available opportunity to pilfer tax payers money.

    Well, there's absolutely nothing that could go wrong with that, then!!

  93. To answer a question I think was posed earlier, there are 40 HMV shops closing and 20 Waterstones shops.

  94. Yes, it's interesting that these mental powerhouses, whose combined minds keep the universe from shattering and spinning in a billion splinters into...well, who knows where, exactly, but the Astoria Ballrooms in Penge, probably...cannot actually fill in an expenses claim without losing an eye or a limb.

    The thing which a junior office equipment sales rep does while sitting in a lay-by in his Ford Torpedo cannot be wrestled and subdued by our legislators, sitting in a leather chair at one of the plentiful, cut-price bars in Parliament, even with tongues wriggling between glistening lips and the donkey work done by secretarial staff.

    Of course, all parties will unite in telling us that you cannot expect to get top calibre MPs unless you pay them a king's ransom, plus perks and slush funds and an endless supply of petty cash for anything bought, like an Eritrean servant, for less than 250 nicker, no receipts needed.

    Which makes it a mystery why most MPs have no qualifications or qualities which equip them to do anything other than wear a rosette and knock on doors every five years.

    Still, we cannot mind that much, can we?

    After all, we keep letting it happen.

  95. Strange, Google froze me out for a while.

    If Google is going to wage a vendetta against me, I'm going to revive Alta Vista and Lycos.

  96. I've still got a three and a half inch floppy (easy now...) for Netscape if you wants it....

  97. Just got in and looked at the 2/3 pint thread. How come I never noticed Nick Das before? What a useless cunt...what's he for exactly?

    "I do quite fancy the 2/3 size, myself. It's not that I necessarily want to drink less, it's just that I'm skinny and a fat pint looks a bit ridiculous in my hand."

    ...did you ever...?

    They finally get a fella to play the sorta 'hostess' role on the threads...so naturally they plumb for a lanky effeminate self-deprecating arsehole...would a regular geezer just be too 'threatening' for all those timid little lurkers? FFS.

    He seems to think he's providing sterling service as some sort of 'facilitator' / Devil's advocate / red-coat type role...he isn't..all he's doing is proving what a bunch of fuckin errant fantasists they are at the Guardian...I'm pretty sure they all think he's a bit of a sort...so secure in his own 'masculinity' he's happy to have the whole world know what a fuckin arse-lickin lap-dog he really is.

    and he's so desperate to crack a joke or two...it's pathetic...mind you he's fucked from the start..1) he isn't funny 2) unfortunately, most humour that's even half funny ends up upsetting somebody...and I'm sure sensitive little Nicky would sooner bite his own cock off than stoop to such depths.

    I say sack the cunt now and sign up Frankie Boyle...second thoughts...give Sadowitz the job

  98. What's the bleedin point of a 2/3 pint size, though?

  99. (Don't make me read the thread....)

  100. Have I been spammed? That's a first ...

  101. Spike/bttp/Shallcross

    I tend to eschew violence, but in your case, I'm willing to make you squeal a bit

    This from a man who argues that his hero, Yuri Andropov - the butcher of Prague, should have been leader of the second most powerful nation on earth?

    Until millions of better heads prevailed.

  102. "What's the bleedin point of a 2/3 pint size, though?"

    not a fuckin clue...but let me assure you, if they want to make a glass of beer big enough to make my hands look all small and feeble, I'm all in favour...that's what being secure in your masculinity is really all about...in fact, far as I'm concerned they can make the thing so fuckin big it that it takes two hands and you can hardly lift it...there you go see...true self-assuredness.

  103. Montana Wildhack said...
    I used to get wound up about what a complete cunt Bracken is. Then I realised that he's such an amoral waste of human flesh that allowing myself to be wound up by him is a power over me that he doesn't deserve to have.

    Just like Stalin calling himself a socialist didn't make it true -- Bracken claiming to be a human being doesn't make it true.
    05 January, 2011 13:31

    Except that some of your nearest and dearest internet friends have met the human being in the flesh and accepted his largesse.

    Am I the only person who's curious about why American parents entrust the safety of their children to the foul mouthed Ms Wildhack?

    Or is her claim to be an educational support worker just another fraudulent contention?

  104. 'sup, bitey? Nothing to fiddle tonight?

  105. BeautifulBurnout said...
    Soz P-Brax but on a scale of one to Bitey that was somewhere in the minuses.

    And anyone who refers to her partner as "hubby" is annoucing to the world that for her, marital sex is about as rare a hens teeth.

    Small wonder you spend so much time looking for virtual lovers.

  106. True that, MF. Many's the time I have thought "oh no, I couldn't possibly order a pint in public, because I'm a laydeeee...". Not.

    MsChin - unspammed ya! I wonder if it is to do with the type of links in a post or summat?

    And I see it is the night of the living dead again....


  107. habib

    Much harder for him to get some action in the UK than it is in, say, Thailand or Cambodia... :p

  108. Habib, I didn't much like it either. Come sit with me in the vapid corner. We shall be idiots together.

  109. BB
    Must be the inability to wear small swimming trunks. Still, that's Speedos for you.

  110. I would be in fine company, Meerkatjie, but with one never worthy of the accolade. :-)

  111. I hear vapid is the new sexy anyway, Meerkatjie... :o)

    LOL at the swimming trunks joke, habib. Nice one.

  112. Just a pet peeve, but I can't stand people who say 'muh' instead of 'my' It's that rolling grunt of a pronunciation beloved of a certain class of middle-aged middle-class south eastern male. I believe Jeremy Clarkson is their spiritual leader. They say things like "I said to muh wife, I'm off to the golf club. Have you seen muh gloves?" They're also found of "muh dear".

    I'd like to plant muh boot up their collective hole.

  113. peter bracken said...

    I haven't abused montana's son - I've criticised her for using him as some crutch for her heightened sense of victimhood.

    In exactly the same way as MrsBootstraps serves up her ginger headed, frequently bullied, runaway son as a shining example of her own moral, legal and political superiority. This despite her abandoning him to the bullies in his life until his education in state school was blighted and she was then able to brag about him taking five GCSEs courtesy of her home education arrangements. Small wonder the social worker, who I hope recorded her concerns accurately in her case notes, felt the need to question MrsB's motives.

    A couple with the intellectual capabilities of MrsB and her hubby should have home educated him into Oxbridge, Imperial or UCL by the time he was seventeen, if they'd really had his interests at heart, rather than their own self aggrandisement.

  114. Done the survey btw, MsChin. Anyone else who hasn't seen it since it was unspammed, please scroll up as there is a link to the IPSA website where you can fill in a survey about MPs expenses.

  115. Shallow Grave is just starting on Film4 - one of Danny Boyle's best.

  116. bitey

    you have really created a fantasy world in which you imagine others live, no doubt cos your own life is so shit you project onto others.....you really should put the same amount of time and energy into bettering your own life which is so seemingly void of anything that you feel constrained to fantasise about others......while you consider this i suggest you shut the fuck up.....

  117. Interesting. Apart from a comment about him coming home late one night having forgotten his key (I think that's right) in the 3+ months I've been here, I can't say I've noticed BB refer to her offspring much at all. I also don't think I've seen more than passing reference to Montana's son.

    Are we not allowed to mention our children? Is there some unspoken web-rule that I'm unaware of? I'm sorry, but I really don't get what the issue is.

  118. Production at a Cadbury factory near Bristol, which has been making chocolate since 1919, is to stop within days after Kraft decided to close it.

    I have now boycotted that stuff (never liked it anyway). So, then that's Boots, Vodafone, Cadburys, Tesco (AKA Satan's Store because the devil is in the detail), WH Smiths (just don't like being plied with junk at the till)...any more shops I should avoid people?

  119. gandolfo

    You met me! You know very well I am a garishly-opulent, self-obsessed mercedes-driving lush living in a mansion with a full bevy of staff to cater to my every whim, and that my son Tarquin is only brought down to the drawing-room once a week on a Sunday afternoon for tea!

  120. Please don't anyone say Argos, because it's going to seriously damage my shopping technique.....

  121. Heheh.

    Boy after me own heart, James. :O)

  122. Anything that allows you to effectively do your Christmas shopping in it's entirety while you're, ahem, using 'the facilities', is pretty fucking special if you ask me....

  123. I agree entirely, James! Almost every bit of my Christmas shopping was done online. I hate bloody shopping at the best of times, and the 7th Circle of hell is a shopping centre on a Saturday, so Argos is my friend.

  124. IanG

    The problem will eventually become one of where we can shop. Boycotts are fine -and I certainly avoid Tesco, Cadbury and some others - but short of growing all our own food and making everything we wear or use we do have to shop somewhere.

    We still face the problem of raw materials.

  125. BB

    i didn't want to let the fantasy cat out of the illusionary bag.....

    mum's the word an' all ;P)

    bloody nice aston martin though......

  126. OK who on god's green earth thought it was a good idea to get Naomi Wolf to write about the assange rape allegations? And how can people not *see* what kind of damage is being done by this kind of argument?

  127. "bloody nice aston martin though...... "

    ROFLMAO! :o)

  128. Meerkatjie

    That's another thread I've been avoiding ... as you can imagine, I've been a tad busy shedding a few tears after reading the very wonderful Giles Fraser piece.


    I had wondered where you were and now I'm wondering why I bothered wondering.

  129. leni

    "but short of growing all our own food and making everything we wear or use we do have to shop somewhere"

    i thought i looked quite fetching in my freshly harvested goat skin slacks, and my cat boob tube the other evening......not to mention the crow feather style footwear.......

  130. Meerkat

    What did Cath Elliott / MsWoman say to get deleted? Any idea?

  131. The UT 'feud' with waddya (which was always grossly exaggerated) must be totally dead by now. Here's a couple of the Untrusted's finest sharing a joke with the bores and the sycophants who infest waddya daily with their tedious bullshit and embarrassing attempts at wit.

    ah, bless, waddya to the rescue again...

    Fence LOL! I think you just saved me from a fit of the vapours there, mate ...

    If you throw in Spike's misguided efforts to 'belong' despite being constantly ridiculed by the rabidly anti-Communist dowager duchess of Antwerp and her fawning star-struck Greek sidekick, paul's perverse obsession with the queen of the predictably vacuous one-liners, burnout's rather desperate attempts to maintain her tired and tarnished Cif profile, meerkat's stultifyingly 'profound' banalities couched in meaningless jargon and second-rate sarcasm, you would be forgiven for thinking that there is not a fag-paper of difference (note the tired old cliche) between the posters on waddya and the posters on UT. Have you people no pride, integrity or principles? Is it all just a pose? Or are you all just very, very bored with your real lives?

    Things must be really bad when even the tirelessly vindictive bitethehand couldn't really be bothered any more. I get the impression that he's just going through the motions for old times' sake.

  132. saw the naomi thread....the damage meerkatjie is primarily to my patience.......jesus the graun never diversifies arguments one iota...for 30 bloody years they regurgitate the same bloody thing....i wonder if we should keep a tally on this.......

  133. Meerkatjie

    "OK who on god's green earth thought it was a good idea to get Naomi Wolf to write about the assange rape allegations? "

    Someone looking for lots of clicks to be able to sell more ad space?

    Surely not!

    And she is wronger than a wrong woman from Wrongshire.

    I can see an argument - indeed I have made an argument - for those accused of rape being given anonymity because it would probably lead to more women having the confidence to report if they have been raped by someone in their social circle safe in the knowledge that they couldn't be identified simply by virtue of their attacker being named, and could avoid being subjected to pressure from incredulous friends and family members. But I can never imagine how taking away a victim's anonymity would help at all.

  134. (Philippa, if you happen to look in at some point!)

    Wolves FFS. Wolves!!

    Right, I'm off to burn stuff....

    Have a good night all!!

  135. MsChin

    I think Cath's post was along the lines of "How terrible to see this from a former feminist". So not exactly in breach of anything serious...

  136. Luke

    I like you more than I like Bitey, so I will just tell you to naff off instead.

  137. luke, you missed giving us a link to your website. How is that going, by the way?

  138. "meerkat's stultifyingly 'profound' banalities couched in meaningless jargon and second-rate sarcasm"

    Bless. PeterBracken's made these points before, Luke. Even your insults are derivative.

    Unlike you, I've never claimed to be profound, nor would I. But be assured, I won't stoop to the 'profundity' of the racist and homophobic slurs you appear to favour.

  139. Okay, that's twice today I've copped for opprobrium for making a post on Waddya. So fucking shoot me.

  140. "Harris2010

    Here is my hand, I will walk with you.

    MsChin, you are an amazing and inspiring woman. Tears streaming down my cheeks now x

  141. Luke

    There never was a UT/waddaya feud

    There's a monkeyfish/waddaya-cif feud and an Atomboy/CIF feud, a scherfig/CIF feud, a BW/CIF feud and a Hank/ anyone who isn't Hank feud

    only there's no real feud cos there's no effective opposition...I used to nip on there to put a few people straight on certain matters (generally, what a bunch of arseholes they were) and, indeed, once they'd assured themselves that whichever incarnation I'd inhabited for the occasion had been well and truly banned, they might stick their heads above the parapet and get all self-righteous for a bit...knowing all the time that it was purely for effect since they were shouting and pouting at a vanished spectre (a fencewalker speciality)...but that was about it really.

    They rarely ventured over here without getting their arses kicked into oblivion...so, basically..what feud? In the months since I last graced the place with my presence, I know of at least 3 occasions when I've been accused of posting there and clearly we've achieved bogeyman /urban myth/ nightmare status but I'd say 'feud' is wide of the mark...'feud' kinda presupposes vaguely evenly matched belligerents...imagine Mike Tyson with a grievance against a three-legged hamster...'feud' wouldn't quite fit the bill.

    Waddaya's days seem numbered from what I've seen...and rest assured...I've got my 'victory speech' ready and waiting.

  142. BB

    I'm not amazing or remarkable in any way, I just felt another's pain.

  143. MsChin

    And you expressed it so beautifully, though. :o)

  144. I bow to your superior knowledge, monkeyfish, but so many morons on waddya really believe that there is a feud, so it must exist. They certainly seem to talk about it all the time, especially the muppet.

    What I don't understand is why so many otherwise semi-reasonable posters here play Cif's rigged game. They don't go to waddya to prick a few pompous bubbles, they go to be one of the crowd and to be liked. What the fuck is that all about? Can anybody explain? Perhaps it's because there is no real difference between them and the waddya crowd in spite of the righteous posturing people here like to indulge in?

  145. Hello monkeyfish & thanks for the return to reality.

  146. Waddaya's days seem numbered from what I've seen...

    Yes, it seems that MantovaniInElSavador has not been seen on CiF since the last day of last year, which might betoken ruptures in the firmament and planets hurtling into shuddering descents and spectacular collisions.

    Or, it could simply be that:

    1. He is waiting for someone to notice that he is missing and ask whether JezzeBella will beg him to come back or just wind things up and go into the greengrocery trade.

    2. He has been to the dentist and swigged a bottle of Vimto and gone gaga.

    3. He made a New Year's resolution and is now sweating it out with clenched teeth and sweaty forehead and shakes and fevers in the night.

    4. He finally decided that every time he put fingers to keyboard he just made himself look more of a tosser.

    The decline and fall of MaraschinoInEurotunnel.

  147. Meerkat

    If you're still around, Naomi Wolf is currently BLT responding to her critics.

  148. Hello everyone, hope your recovery is going well Leni.
    Re; the problem of boycotting and where there would be left to shop if taken to it's logical conclusion, I have a bit of a moral dilemma myself.

    My agent phoned yesterday with an offer of some acting work which was great news until she told me who it was for; (HSBC)!

    Oh dear, what to do? I need the money but how could I reconcile my "bank bashing" credentials on here with taking a job promoting a bank?

    How to wriggle my way out of that without seeming like a total hypocrite?

    Anyway, it's a bit short notice and I haven't agreed to take the job yet but as far as I'm concerned I never said that banks were a bad thing per se, just that they had been corrupted by a bunch of thugs.

    Then I got to thinking, if I took the job, how I could subvert it into exposing how the banking system is taking us all for a ride.

    If anyone has any ideas about how that could be achieved, I'd willingly take the risk of not getting paid for my time if it meant HSBC and any other bank for that matter were called to account for their "daylight robbery".

    If nothing else,this is an example of how easy it is to pontificate about what should or should not be done, until you are lobbed into a situation where you actually realize the interconnectedness of it all!

  149. Chekhov

    Good to see ya! And just think of it as getting some money out of the bastards.

    Anyhoo, early start tomorrow, so nighty night all x

  150. Oops, I probably shouldn't have posted on the wolf thread while grumpy. I should really have gone to bed as I planned.

  151. Chekhov, take 'em for all you can and feel no guilt.

  152. Meerkatjie

    Thought you were doing a very credible job there, tbh. At least she responded to you; she has ignored my question re: BEM women entirely.

  153. just in case he reads UT - nuisverige, you are a fucking idiot :) in fact you give fucking idiots a bad name!

  154. Anne

    Regarding the concept of the reserve army of labour i certainly think it's wrong to view it as a primarily female phenomenon in contemporary British society.

    Over the last 40 years the shift in the labour market from industrial to service based employment has seen a steady decline in male economic activity rates coinciding with a steady increase in female economic activity rates.And relatively few couple households nowadays can survive on a single male wage packet.Therefore IMO the days when women per se could be simply viewed as being a reserve army of labour are well and truly over.And as i stated earlier simply dropping out of the labour market was never an option anyway for many working class women.

    I think what we have now is a surplus of labour that can't be easily integrated into the labour market and which can be divided into two groups. Firstly there are those who've either never worked or those who've been unemployed for a long time.And a high % of these simply don't have any marketable skills.Secondly there are those who want to work and have the skills but face discrimination on account of their age,disability or ethnic background.

    I would describe the second group as being part of a reserve army of labourwho would be readily employable if employers didn't have access to a ready pool of young malleable employees to meet their demand.The first group however is more problematic insofar as much more needs to be done to make them employable. There is of course also the issue of the inflexible benefit system to take into consideration as well.

    Sorry if i've repeated points i made earlier but i haven't had time to re-read the thread.

  155. Tim

    Seconded, the man is a total twat.

  156. Paul

    No-one is disagreeing with you. We only brought up the gendered RAL theory in the context of saying that Hakim was wrong in her assertion about preference.

  157. "At least she responded to you; she has ignored my question re: BEM women entirely."


    She's not doing a terribly good job of defending her position. But then perhaps that's because there is no credible defence.

  158. The radical feminist wires are humming - pollystyrene has just arrived & made some excellent points.

  159. Pollystyrene is great - I wanted to jump up and applaud when she arrived.

    Honest to god, there's nothing I love more than a thread full of blokes explaining to me what it's like to be raped.

    I'm off to bed, before something gets broken.

  160. Polly has had lots of practice in railing against the numpties, meerkat.

    I must get to bed soon as well as I really have to get up & go to work tomorrow.

  161. MsChin

    Paul, you are of course quite right, women are a reserve army of labour, but that reserve army does indeed include people of all races and both genders

    I was responding to Anne's post which included the above.I think you'll find there is some basis for disagreement.I don't accept that female workers today are primarily part of a reserve army of labour.And if women still make up the majority in todays reserve army of labour i suspect it's a relatively small majority.