20 January 2011


Vue sur Notre Dame - Jean Dufy

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
-Mark Twain


  1. Wakey, wakey! as [insert name of band leader when you remember it] used to shout.

    This from RedMiner on Dribbly might have some new links for people:

    Here's some evidence for English Hermit's Winter Campaign - The Advance on Atos








    When yo u've worked your way through those get back to me. I've a few dozen more for you.

    I Iook forward to you initiating proceedings against Atos Origin as soon as it's convenient..

    In the meantime, just showing up on a disabled thread now and again to post a bit of moral support in the face of the bigots would be helpful, or basically just doing anything other than sitting on your arse making noble speeches about how everyone is unworthy of your support, Napoleon.

  2. PS I scrolled up quite a way to see what the reference to Napoleon - Nappy, presumably - was all about, but couldn't see anything.

    Maybe it had been deleted or maybe it was just concealed by a yawn.

  3. PPS The band leader was, of course, Billy Cotton.

    I think he was father to Dot Cotton from East Enders and also ran a circus, called Billy Cotton's Flying Circus, but I may be wrong.

  4. @AB

    It wasn't Nappy Napoleon, but EnglishHelmet in his newly belligerent guise.


    "The reason I won't be going is that, as a disabled person, I loathe those who are using the disabled as a weapon in their 'war' against the government even more than the government. As far as I am concerned they can all fuck off. I'll fight my own battles and win or lose on my own. I've had to before, many times, and shouting, screaming and spreading disinformation is not the way to go about it. Not if you want to win.

    It requires facts. It requires research. It requires a lot of work. It means producing a report containing hard evidence that would stand up in a court of law. Then you will be taken seriously and you stand a chance of winning."

    And Billy Cotton - he nearly won the British Grand Prix once. It says on Wikipedia,

  5. PeterJ

    Thanks for the clarification and apologies to Nappy.

    I see the reference now.

    EnglishHelmet has said before that he doesn't want his own noble quest to be a clanky knight in makeshift armour, battered from salvaged tin buckets thrown amongst the rhubarb on the allotment, meeting the state in the lists, broom-handle to Trident missile, to be sullied or dimmed by the filthy, baying mob of...ordinary, common people, basically.


    As for Billy Smart, he was quite the Renaissance Man, wasn't he?

  6. @AB

    Indeed. The only solidarity he is aware of is the type beneath the battered bucket helmet that gives him his name.

  7. PeterJ

    ...the battered bucket helmet that gives him his name.

    I cannot seem to get out of this slough of dimwittedness, where I have been oozily trapped for days.

    I always thought it was because he is...well, you know...a dickhead, a cock.

    Oh, well, live and learn.

    Or not, of course.

  8. monkeyfish,

    just came across this very good blog post Why I have a problem with the liberal left- a retort against your very good friend Sunny Hundal.

    I particularly like number 3:

    3) A stubborn refusal to learn from failed tactics again and again. Any news on ‘reclaiming’ the Labour Party from the left yet? Because that particular tactic has been being argued for since before I was born. Without anything to show for it.

  9. @AB

    No, you were right the first time. It's one of those portmanteau terms. Or a double comprendre. Or whatever it's called.

  10. The omnipresent Penny was on 5live last night pontificating about EMA. She was fairly incoherent, rude, and strident and claimed to have read every policy document from the Centre for Social Justice from the last 5 years and accused her co-guest of being obtuse and not having read them. Her opponent's lame response was that he was actually the product of a single-parent family and had spent his entire professional life dealing with these issues. So she just interrupted him and shouted at him. Go, Laurie!

    She was also so wadical and angwy that she was sternly told by Tony Livesley "Laurie, watch your language."

    She's such a rebel!

  11. @badpenny

    Oh, was that her? I thought it was just some over-opinionated phone-in listener. But then, I was only half paying attention.

  12. @ Duke. That is a belter. BTW, Ms Penny is getting beyond parody now, she's damaging every cause she opportunistically attaches herself to, grabbing the spotlight ahead of those who actually know what they're talking about and have the genuine experience,rather than some vicarious posturing. She's going to come a cropper, and I reckon it will be via "friendly fire" as it were. It won't be pretty, but she can't blame the patriarchy, the neo-liberals,etc, as she'll be brought down by those very people for whom she's grandiosely appointed herself saviour.

  13. Comment on CIF, "No matter how many times I hear the name, taking the piss out of Max Gogarty never gets old..."


    Amusing stuff on Penny - to the poster the other day, "fariha"? I am not obssessed with her, i just find her fascinating, like Sarah Palin - cant quite believe they really exist as there is an unreal quality about them. Penny is a walking talking cliche, a cartoon character dreamt up by Richard Littlejohn as the archetypal representative of all that is wrong with the liberal left. And then i heard her squeaky kiddy voice, and that just iced the cake. So i thought.

    Then i heard she was privately educated, and thats the full house right there. She is an absurd human being, and a really quite shameless narcissist who would put her name to Nazism if it got her a bit of airtime.

    A "class warrior"? I think thats the first time I've ever been called that one. But anyway, good to see you're still reading ;)

  14. PeterJ

    Yes, I love those Portmeirion words.

    Like "Mini-Moke - bloke."

    That's one, isn't it?

    As for Splenda Penny, it almost makes you feel as if there is a god.

    A spiteful, nasty one.

    Wind her up and watch her go...

    ...then spectacularly, epically crash, as Alisdair says.

    It will be her MatahariInEbola moment, so keep the popcorn stocked up.

  15. Hi all
    here's the kiss of death to anyone's credibility....c/o "A socialist, feminist, deviant, reprobate, queer, journalist, aspiring author, freelance copywriter and sometime blogger."

    "....you get something to put on your CV that looks fairly good, and of course an acknowledgement in the front of the book. Plus any help that I can be at all with anyone's professional ambitions in freelance writing/journalism/meeja, I will of course facilitate to the limits of my ability."

    and doesn't hide the nepotistical nature of her brand of socialism either....mind you she obviously benefited from it herself.....

  16. Fuck me, Waddya's gone insane again.

  17. In case anyone misses it, there’s an absolute doozy on the Life and Style section about Burns Night and haggis. Here’s the digested read so you don’t have to:

    “I’m English, lived north of the border for 15 years but still find Burns night baffling! I then explain exactly why Burns nights have been held since the year after Burns death thus undermining the whole zany pretext behind this article within two paragraphs.

    But that doesn’t stop me, oh no. Haggis? You won’t believe this, but it’s full of animal stuff! Can you imagine?

    Just as well no-one else has anything similar like, erm black pudding, sausages, blutwurst, Andouillette…eh?

    And another thing. Did you know that the Scots market Burns night across the world now? (Doesn't realise that Burns night has been celebrated across the world by the Socts diapora for over two centuries, but anyway) How horribly materialistic.

    Imagine a country marketing a positive aspect of its culture worldwide for tourism and industry purposes. Awful……..continues in barely concealed contempt for the tradition throwing in some other stereotypes along the way…..”

  18. I'm must start getting the tweets/twits/twats/whatevertheverbis of the liberal(ish) leadership sent to my phone.

    pollytoynbee tweedles: "Good day to start tweeting, the best medium for protest."

    After a twatspat with guidofawkes, pennydreadful twees: "Lisbeth Salander would not stand for this bullshit."

    And in the never-ending search for something fresh, relevant and important, JessicaReed a.k.a. commentisfree twinks: "Hello Jane - would you like to write a piece about Angry Birds v Bubble Ball for The Guardian's comment section?"

    Every time you tweet, Jesus kills a kitten and Satan skins it to use as a codpiece.

  19. An absolute must read condemnation of the Labour Party.

  20. Afternoon all

    Celebrating Burns Night on Saturday by making "Flying Scotsman" chicken* for Spanish friends then going to an English panto. And a wee nip of Islay malt to go with it too. Excellent.

    Good way to hail the chieftain of the puddin' race, if you ask me.

    Haven't seen CiF yet today - sounds like I need to start off with a little visit to Dribbley. :o)

    *chicken breasts stuffed with haggis, wrapped in bacon and baked, and with a kind of chickeny-whisky gravy.

  21. @Your Grace

    Interesting piece, although I'm afraid I can't follow the author into the Greens behind Caroline Lucas.

    On a related note, I enjoyed reading this piece on the same subject yesterday.

  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

  23. Peter, agree about the greens.

    Re: the Labour Party. It was Harold Wilson, himself a driftee from the Bevanite left to the right of the party, who once said:

    "The Labour Party is a moral crusade or it is nothing"

    The Labour Party no longer has a moral crusade. It is a technocratic managerialist project for whom the pursuit of power is its only raison d'etre.

    Therefore it is nothing.

  24. Quick hello before I'm off to work...


    Haven't seen the Burns Night piece, but what its author fails to appreciate about the marketing thing is that Scotland really doesn't need to. Scotland (to outsiders, unfamiliar with any of the grittier realities) is just inherently interesting and romantic -- in the epic sense, more than the place-for-lovers-to-make-googly-eyes-at-each-other sense, though there is that, too.

    I think I've mentioned before that I don't have any Scottish ancestry but, if I did, I'd have a hard time not succumbing to "Thistles & Tartan Syndrome" even though, as an American with a fair bit of Irish ancestry, I've always been a bit disgusted by compatriots who suffer from the corresponding "Shamrocks & Shillelaghs Syndrome".

    Mike Myers used to do a recurring character when he was a regular on Saturday Night Live, who was the owner of a Scottish imports shop. His motto was, "If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" Yep. :-)

  25. Good read, your Grace, although I'm even more cynical than the blogger. I think the reason Miliband is favouring the "let's have a few conferences and steering committees" approach isn't out a wonkish desire to finesse policy but because there's a lot of dirty work he wants done for him.

    It was Labour who brought in Atos, so presumably they believe (heaving a heavy socially democratic heart and shrugging) that, yes, there's an awful lot of work-shy but perfectly healthy chavs who need turfing off benefits. Two years would be just about right to clean the benefits stable of their stench.

    Ditto the cuts. Labour acknowledged it would have had to cut massively anyway, so while they might mildly and intermittently agree with the scale of the cuts, once again two years is a decent timeframe to cut back expenditure.

    It's feels like a strange political game, where one party gives cover to the other to do the things that their own party or supporters won't countenance. So the Tories can cut mightily and not lose too much (if any) of their bedrock support, while Labour turns a blind eye because it agrees that it needs to be done. Labour can inflate spending via ludicrous means such as PFI and get a tacit nod from the opposition, because it knows that some investment is necessary.

    The blogger's basic point that there's very little difference between the main parties is pretty much spot on.

  26. Gandolfo:

    "A socialist, feminist, deviant, reprobate, queer, journalist, aspiring author, freelance copywriter and sometime blogger."

    You forgot to add she was also a stripper and a sometime prostitute.... apparently ;)

  27. PeterJ:

    "The reason I won't be going is that, as a disabled person, I loathe those who are using the disabled as a weapon in their 'war' against the government even more than the government.

    Ah, the lonely, quasi-tragic figure of the noble, long-suffering, Hermit, fighting his lone noble 'battles' in the face of adversity ("If I can do it anyone can") So noble in fact that, despite the actions of a duplicitous, heinous Government attacking disabled people from every quarter, he won't use his disability as an excuse to attack them - no siree - he's far too honourable for that!

  28. Montana,

    Haven't seen the Burns Night piece, but what its author fails to appreciate about the marketing thing is that Scotland really doesn't need to. Scotland (to outsiders, unfamiliar with any of the grittier realities)

    Where I come from is definitely the gritty reality! Although 30 minutes drive and you're at the bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

    I have no problem with marketing these things, I've always said we should take a leaf out of the Irish book in that sense who are leaps and bounds ahead. We've always suffered from the cultural "cringe".

    I remember when Saddam Hussein was captured, one of the Irish newspapers headlines the following day was:

    Irish marine captures Saddam

    in reference to the 8th generation soldier who found him.


    concur with every word of that.

    Peter, that fat man article was excellent. For me, the key passage was:

    New Labour's selling point was that they offered the prospect of electoral victory. They proudly trumpeted the fact that no Labour government had ever won two successive full terms, implying that even when they won power they were swiftly rejected by an electorate that did not like what they saw. Now, due solely to the modernisers, this was going to change; they alone held the secret of success.* And it is here that the academic historian in me begins to bristle.

    reinforcing the point I made that Labour is an election winning machine rather than a political party with social democracy at its heart.

  29. Wow.

    Well done EnglishHermit for fighting his own battles. If there are any judicial reviews in the High Court, they need to make a special note in the judgment that any review should not take into consideration any matters that might affect Mr Hermit as he clearly doesn't need anyone else's help at all.

    All for one and ... er ... one for himself?

  30. Heard the author of this book today on the Radio....

    Treasure Islands: Tax Havens and the Men Who Stole the World.

    From one of the reviews....

    "A brilliant expose of tax havens and tax avoidance.Quite topical with all these tory types not paying their fair share but be warned this book is bad for your blood pressure if you are one of the unfortunates who do pay your fair share in taxes. Its frightening how little the rich contribute to the countries they make their money from.Murdoch's companies pay about 6% tax in Britain,which shows what a parasite he is.Every honest tax payer should read this book."

  31. There is probably a very good reason why Mr E Hermit of Hobbiton, The Shire (snigger) is of the solitary persuasion - and not necessarily of his own making.

    I think a page of his school report read:

    "An outsider, he ploughs a lonely furrow..."

    Still, he does have the vegetables to chat to, instead of horrible, large-as-life people.

  32. Atomboy:

    Someone who eschews any kind of help and wears it as a badge of honour and a symbol of personal morality, is well, just stupid.

    If my friend, who has 2 kids with chronic diabetes (one 6 and one 11)had refused help and tried to 'do it herself' both her kids would probably be dead.

  33. AB

    Am gonna go through some of those links you gave at the top ;)

  34. "Amy Chua is a wimp"!


  35. La Rit

    Yes, I agree.

    However, I think the attitude of his Hobbitship is less to do with rugged, proud, pioneering independence and more to do with sniffy snobbishness and a wish to be seen to be remote and removed from the rowdies who congregate in roads with placards, ferried and funnelled and kettled by the kinder, gentler police-tazer hand.

    Obviously, some of those people have a tendency to drop their aitches and use loose grammatical constructions, so they do not deserve the company of the EnglsihFuckwit, R Swipe Esq, who sails far above on a bouncy little cloud of self-righteousness and splendid isolation.

    He epitomises the ease of the divide and rule principle, with each little thickie occupying his own cloistered and sequestered space.

  36. You won't be laughing when he launches another devastating quack-attack...

  37. larit

    "You forgot to add she was also a stripper and a sometime prostitute.... apparently ;)"

    Rit they were her words not mine she really is multifaceted don't ya fink? in that kind of fake deluded way....don't think she really given up the prossie work just change the dimension really........

    ........hasten to add my judgement would be less generous......

    media slut for starters.......(am i being sexist? or does slut transcend gender and sexuality nowadays.....????)

    come to think of it she'd like that no doubt........

    god i'm nasty today......but all in a good cause eh

  38. Penny Dreadful was not an, ahem, stripper, she was a burlesque dancer. And never to my knowledge a courtesan, unless you count media ho. There was a vile suggestion by a commenter on Guido's blog that she made a habit at uni of sleeping with friend's boyfriends, which is patently untrue as she positions herself sausage-averse.

    I'm not standing up for her because I'm waiting on word back on my application as a cross-dressing Congoan pygmy to work on 'Rent-A Voice Of A Generation: The Primrose Hill Years', but because truth and justice are the codes by which I live.

  39. RapidEddie

    There was a vile suggestion by a commenter on Guido's blog that she made a habit at uni of sleeping with friend's boyfriends...

    Oh, she was a bit of an old Penny Farthing, then?

  40. Evening all


    "Amy Chua is a wimp"! Linky

    I posted that linky a couple of days ago, but perhaps registration at www.nytimes.com is necessary for access. Thought it was an interesting view. A reader sent in this letter:

    Re “Amy Chua Is a Wimp” (column, Jan. 18):

    Undergirding Amy Chua’s book about her strict Chinese child-rearing methods and David Brooks’s response is the assumption that success is mainly measured by professional accomplishment.

    But I don’t think the key question is: How can we raise our children so that they are professionally successful and achievement-oriented?

    Maybe we should instead ask other arguably more important questions, like these: How can parents do a better job of morally educating their children? How do we teach our children what is important in life? What does it mean to be successful? Is happiness correlated with professional success? How can we instill important values like civility, kindness and personal responsibility, and important skills like conflict resolution, empathy, creativity and discipline?

    Mr. Brooks and Ms. Chua emphasize achievement, but this reader wonders, achievement to what end?

    John Gates
    Concord, Mass., Jan. 18, 2011

    Well quite.

  41. Looks like "Dead" Ed Milliband is starting to think about "stamping" (or maybe "lightly treading") his authority on the Shadow Cabinet... Balls in for Johnson... the other half of the "power couple", Cooper, set to take over as shadow home secretary and Douglas Alexander will become shadow foreign secretary.

  42. evening..

    she made a habit at uni of sleeping with friend's boyfriends...

    Such sisterly solidarity from our little revolutionary...

    Great series of pictures from Tunisia

    An uprising in Tunisia

  43. Atomboy:

    "He epitomises the ease of the divide and rule principle, with each little thickie occupying his own cloistered and sequestered space"

    Yep, the "I'm alright Jack, I did it all on my own" type who neglects to mention that tasty trust fund or an inherited house in Hampstead, the "I was just lucky bullshite that is intended to make anyone who hasn't succeeded feel like a useless incompetent piece of shit. How I hate it.


    He wouldn't dare!!

  44. Gandolfo:

    You can be as evil as you loike!!

    As for our Penny Whistle being a converted "sausage-lover" I do wonder if even the 'queer' bit is just for show....


    Oh, how that post made me laugh!!!

  45. sheff

    great pictures especially the baguette-gun man (no30) love that...

  46. LaRit

    i thought the same re the dyke stuff......kinda reminds me of the 80s when being a political lesbian was in its heyday.........as were black leggins.......

  47. I missed the political lesbian thing. Thank fuck.

  48. thauma

    missed it? don't worry there's nothing stopping you it's obviously back as are black leggins....hey you could end up in a flat share with penz......i'm sure you could get weekends off though..........

    i bet penz's wringing her hands trying to think up a disability and new ethnic origin just to further embellish her "credentials".....god the stress she must be under......

  49. Gandolfo - no doubt EH and MisfytInEmporium could help with Penz's creds.

    Anyone read Arec's original draft of the piece he has previously had published on Cif? The waterboarding was a particularly fine touch, I think.

  50. (Arec has posted the draft on Dribbly.)

  51. thauma

    Forgive me for being dense, but what is Dribbly?

  52. Medve - Waddya, aka Dribbly (c) Atomboy, or wtfyta (c) Tascia.

  53. thanks, on my way to have a look.

  54. can you link it thauma can't face trawling my way through "we're not replying to your posts cos you aint in the gang"

    lazy cow me...but i try to safeguard my sense of balance...

  55. The Indy has managed to find a particularly cack-handed way of inserting the underlying rumour about Johnson's resignation:

    "A senior party spokesman said Mr Johnson had requested that no more be said about the nature of the problem he is facing other than that it is a "personal and family" matter.

    It was not the case that a Sunday newspaper was about to reveal information about his private life."

    So absolutely, categorically and definitively nothing to do with whose mailbox he's been slipping his large package into then. Dirty game, this politics.

  56. Cheers Medve!

    Eddie - OoooooOOOOOOooo! Hadn't heard any rumours.

    Do they involve torture?

  57. thauma
    good piece.....doesn't bear thinking about someone that can't articulate themselves in that situation

  58. According to my Ma this morning (something she read?)Condom Cameron has a very real problem with... blushing... so why the red, shiny face????

    He must have been irreparably damaged at his prep school. Poor love :(

  59. SheffP:

    Thanks for the link to those photos... that's a civil war going on there.

    It's taken them 23 years in Tunisia, how bloody long is it going to take us?

  60. I'm quite glad Ed Balls is new shadow Chancellor.... he can't wait to get his teeth into Oinkbourne and Condom!

  61. Thaum, if you want the dirt, go to the shit-pit. In this case, Guido Fawke's Boy Friday, Harry Cole on Twitter. There are a couple of conspicuous twits/tweets/twats. In response to fleetstreetfox's observation that "This just doesn't smell like a shagging scandal to me. Besides, is that still a resigning issue? Not unless it's totally Max Moseley."...

    ...Harry responds:

    [It] is if you refuse to leave your wife over a long term affair.

    Then Cole appears to get a little braver with his gossip:

    Is that the pitter patter of tiny feet you can hear through all this shock resignation noise?

    Bear in mind the source, though. The man's having a field day. Mind you, even a couple of years ago, the Mail was sailing as close to the wind as it possibly could when alluding to Johnson's fearsome virility:

    Romeo Alan Johnson and loves Labour lost

    Taking it as a given that these things tend to be open media/political circle secrets, the only question is why now?

  62. RE
    gwad an illegitimate child.......why now? its birth??? or it's gonna be 18 an sell its story to the NOTW

  63. According to BBC London.... as we always suspected..... plain clothes police were used in the Student demonstrations to 'incite violence' and there is significant evidence that the Met's Spokesman (can't remember his name just now) lied to a select committee in the Houses of Parliament about it.

    Explosive stuff ;0)

  64. Who the fuck would shag Alan Johnson? What a revolting thought.

  65. Who the fuck would shag Alan Johnson?

    laurie penny????

  66. Maybe another case of an agent provocateur going waaaay above and beyond the call of duty?


  67. Guido's now saying that Johnson's wife has left him and pointing the finger at Alex Belardinelli - Ed Ball's 'special advisor' - for giving the story to the Sunday Times. Trust New New Labour, at a time when there's genuine hardship right now and a whole heap of pain down the road, to be more concerned with fucking each over than standing up for the people in the firing line.

  68. Evening all

    LaRit - yeah, I posted a bit about it on Waddya earlier. Interesting stuff, that. "Gold commander" Broadhurst assuring a parliamentary select committee that there were no undercover cops at the G20 at all, then the Met having to admit it more than 18 months later. I bet someone has been outed by that Kennedy/Stone bloke and they are bricking it now...

    Thaum - I always wondered who the fuck would shag Blunkett, and that awful bloke that looked like a badly in-bred pug - ex-Tory who talks a lot about football whose name escapes me.

    Power is, indeed, everything it seems. Ugh.

  69. Johnson. Mellor. Huhne. Shagger Norris. It seems that there's someone for everyone in the politics game.

    I also see that confirmation is in from Brussels that my reading of her bit on disability campaigns was correct, and that the 'torrent of abuse'(TM) that drove Hagbard to apologise for being right was, in itself, wrong. Surprise, eh?

  70. BB:

    "that awful bloke that looked like a badly in-bred pug - ex-Tory who talks a lot about football whose name escapes me"

    David Mellor'll be the one.... adenoids, thick glasses and Clarks' Cornish Pasty Shoes... looks like a winning 'shag-ability combo' to me! (not)

    Mind you, I have to admit I have lowered my standards once or twice in my time, however, was never offered a cool £250,000 in a suitcase to relay my 'experiences' to the News of the Screws...

  71. BB, you're thinking of David Mellor, who famously like to go about the devil's business wearing a Chelsea shirt. Hopefully he didn't shout "Goooooooaalllllll!!!!" near the conclusion of proceedings.

  72. Yes! Repugnant little oik that he is! And did you see the woman who was shagging him? The mind boggles. Or maybe her mind was completely boggled. Either that or she had to do with two paper bags - one over his head and one over hers in case his ripped...

  73. @Eddie

    Mellor did at least produce this memorable Sun front page.

  74. PJ, the mind boggles even as the stomach heaves.

  75. She sucked his toes?!

    I've just had me bloody tea, do you mind, you lot? Can't you stick a "not safe for full stomachs" warning on your links?

  76. I had completely forgotten all about that repellent toad Mellor, and his in flagrante episode with whoever she was- thank you all so much for reminding me.

    Rapid - stomach heaving even as I type this

  77. Hi LaRit

    There is a difference between lowering ones standards once in a while and mating with something that possibly (probably) belongs to another species. x

  78. Happy days, those. Tim Yeo started the rot as I recall.

    Well to be strictly accurate John Major started the rot by tempting fate with "Back to Basics" precipitating a tidal wave of Tory minister naughtiness which left Major squwarking desperately that he didn't mean moral propriety, he meant... well... you know... something else or or something.

    Oh how we laughed.

    How long til the tories start getting caught wearing Man City shirts with transexual dominatrixes do you think?

    My money is on Eric Pickles going first. But maybe in a different kit.

    Shall we have a sweepstake?

  79. BB

    Can't you stick a "not safe for full stomachs" warning on your links?

    Too right.


    On the other hand, talking of tory sex, i cannot resist mentioning that i seem to remember somebody saying that sex with Soames was like having a wardrobe fall on you with the key still in it.

  80. Julian Glover, believe it or not makes a salient point on his twitter feed which is to the right of CiF articles:

    When was the last time both the chancellor and the shadow chancellor were Tories when at Oxford? & in all male drinking clubs?

    alluding to the fact Balls was a member of the Tory students during the Young Tories most repugnant incarnation- the mid 80's pro-Apartheid, uber Thatcherite complete and total cunts stage.

  81. Leni:

    I don't think I've ever shagged a bona fide alien yet, but I do believe I might have shagged someone once.... who was a Liberal Party supporter - omg - does that count?

    (He was crap btw)

    it was only an experiment to see if I could overcome the 'gag-factor' ;)

  82. Duke:

    Re: Balls' 'Tory' past.... do you think that's why OinkBourne and Co. are all wetting their knickers about his appointment? He can dish the dirt like no-one else and is not frightened or intimidated by them?

    (Trying to spin this positively) ;0)

  83. Scary stuff, Your Grace

    And didn't Cecil Parkinson and his love child that nobody was allowed to talk about start the Tory infidelities shenanigans in Thatcher's day?

  84. Medve

    sex with Soames was like having a wardrobe fall on you with the key still in it

    :-D A very small key, one assumes?

    Yer Grace - it means practically nothing. Look at the lineage of the Milibandis, and Johnson claimed to be a leftist in his early career.

    The fact is, they are all complete and total cunts, regardless of background.

  85. larit
    so did "it"* pass the gag factor? s'ppose yes sort of at least you lived to tell the tale.... seemingly unharmed

    oh the halcyon days of student demos chanting "cecil cecil cecil in out in out...."

    *libdem non gender specific

  86. BB "And didn't Cecil Parkinson and his love child that nobody was allowed to talk about start the Tory infidelities shenanigans in Thatcher's day?"

    Well, perhaps technically. But, er, nobody was allowed to talk about it!

  87. I hate all the fuckers....well i have to be realistic.......

    as i sit hear listening to the umpteenth analysis of berlusco and underaged prostitutes.......as if it actually needs to be analysed....17 year old girl 74 year old man...nuff said he really makes... me puke

    i saw some disturbing film of sao paolo last night seriously under water.......hope james is ok

  88. thauma

    A very small key, one assumes?

    I'm afraid i cannot comment on the honourable member's member, but it's a huge big wardrobe!

  89. I've got to bow out folks... before I spill any more skeletons and beans from me dark past!

    Gandolfo.... I couldn't get past the 'gag' thing... he had really smelly armpits!

  90. Seriously, am off to watch mind-numbing TV!

  91. thauma

    The mind boggles at associations of C.S. Lewis, The magician's nephew, Aslan, and Mr Soames.

  92. LaRit/BB/thauma,

    With Balls as shadow chancellor I imagine Parliamentary questions will go something like:

    Ed Balls: “Can I ask the chancellor if today’s quarterly ONS figures on unemployment are an absolute embarrassment considering this Government’s stated policy of allowing the private sector to take up the employment slack?”

    George Osborne: “In terms of embarrassment I refer the right honorable gentleman to the time he was caught trousers down being smacked on the bare arse with a leatherbound copy of Rudyard Kipling’s collected poems by the Trinity college head porter screaming ‘give me it Mummy I’m a bad Balls!’

    Balls: “Does the right honourable Gentleman really want me to divulge the time he lost the bet with Nigel-Squiffington -St John -Wotsits as to who could make the biggest “HANG MANDELA!!!” banner and subsequently had a greased punting pole rammed so hard up his poo chute that he gagged on the punting shoe?”

    Osborne: “Oh God, I did forget about that, how is old Squiffy Wotsits anyway?”

    Balls: “Peachy Georgie, peachy, he’s one of Labour’s biggest donors…..”

  93. Your Grace

    You have a wicked imagination, but i like it!

  94. Duke - fantastic!

    Medve - dear me no, The Magician's Nephew had innocent little coloured rings and pools to jump into; no sinister wardrobes.

  95. thauma

    Would it be The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe perchance? (i presume it takes the Oxford comma)

  96. There *was* a creepy "uncle", mind you, and then the wardrobe that caused all the trouble was made from the wood of the magical tree that grew from the fruit that saved Mother's life ... or something like that, as best I can recall!

  97. Medve - dear me no, The Magician's Nephew had innocent little coloured rings and pools to jump into; no sinister wardrobes.

    and a guinea-pig.

  98. Medve - yes, that's the one! I believe TLTWATW was the first book written, but that TMN was subsequently written as a prequel. (Hate that word, but it makes sense.)

  99. And if Soames is the wardrobe, who the fuck are the lion and the witch? Christine O'Donnell?

  100. Oh yes, I forgot about the guinea-pig! Poor little bastard. Still, he was better off away from Uncle

  101. Dunno, Medve, but Johnson seems to be making the running for Uncle Andrew (if Berlusconi hasn't pipped him to the post).

  102. ...and who started the David Mellor toe-sucking conversation? You're revolting, all of you...

  103. The sad truth is that we don't have a lion. Sarah Palin might be the witch, though.

  104. shaz

    I thought Mellor could't get his key to shape up unless he was wearing a Chelsea jersey?

  105. Uncle Andrew was a deeply nasty man... possibly the nastiest in the entire Narnia series...

  106. (missed out 'character'after 'nastiest'. Long week, sorry!)

  107. shaz

    Sorry, but that is how i recollect it.

  108. Medve - Now you come to mention it, I think you may be right...

  109. Keep thinking of 'Mellors' from Lady Chatterley - also a deeply nasty man, in my humble.

    I have it worked out. We still don't have a lion, but the White Witch is clearly representative of neo-liberalism: always winter and never xmas, turn your enemies to stone, fuck the poor, try to get decent people to turn informers, bribe, torture, etc.

    Mr Tumnus is (hopefully) the British public, cowed into acceptance for a while but rebelling when it goes too far.

    Puddleglum is the UT. Pondering a Reepicheep.


  110. I wish you lot would stop freaking me out with stories about Mellor that are going to give me nightmares here... I am trying to watch a documentary about Jack the Ripper on Five!

  111. BB

    Your wish is my command. Off to the pub. Nighty-night all

  112. Mr Tumnus is (hopefully) the British public, cowed into acceptance for a while but rebelling when it goes too far.

    Not a great lookout for the British public then - unless a lion turns up to breathe on them - faun-napped by Maugrim and turned into a statue in Neo-Liberalism's courtyard...

    BB - I'm watching that too...

  113. Interesting, wasn't it Shaz? "From Hell" with the divine Mr Depp is on now. Not seen that, although the other day someone on here was saying it was shite...

  114. Is it time for a tune? I woke up at first light this morning, with a riff going round my head for no apparent reason. And after some digging around, I found that it was this one.

  115. From what I remember, it is shite, yes... even with Mr Depp. Am trying to stay awake long enough for Question Time, but not sure I'll make it...

  116. ooh. It's got Hagrid in it, though...

  117. Has everyone jumped ship to Word Press or Intense Debate?
    What's going on?
    Over an hour without a single post: that can't be right can it?

  118. chekhov

    i am wasting time arguing on waddya. Is it a waste of time - who knows?

    Anyway you are off my Christmas card list since you chose footie over political violence.

  119. Hi chekhov.

    I've been working on someone else's PowerPoint presentation, using information apparently produced by lower lifeforms with Earth language a long way down their list of linguistic skills.

    How are you doing?

  120. i am wasting time arguing on waddya. Is it a waste of time - who knows?

    That depends on whether you can push it forward from where we just left it...:)

  121. Awww Leni: I didn't know I was on your "Christmas Card List" in the first place!

    You did know I was just kidding didn't you?

    Hello Peter J: I was doing just fine until that cunt Alistair Campbell spouted his usual shit on Question Time tonight!

  122. Ivo

    Still trying to push it forward - have replied to your last.

  123. I know irony doesn't translate well on internet blogs but a "smiley" ;-)...or an exclamation mark usually does the trick!

  124. aaah Chekhov

    you know I love you really.

  125. Love you too Leni, been watching your posts on "Wdaya"...keep up the good work, we need more people like you!

  126. BTW: did anyone see "Hattie"? That was some "menage a trois" wasn't it?

  127. And further more why did his his wife refer to her husband as "John Le Measurer" rather than the obvious pronunciation of his which should be "Measurier" as in phonetically; "mesurereay"
    OK I'm being pedantic but the "Le Measurier" and the "Le Measurer" are obviously different and one is French or maybe not! I don't know but if anyone is interested in following my train of thought feel free to contribute or ignore as suits your will!