Clegg is to reform the libel laws, we are told. In the extremely unlikely event of this ever happening, that is probably one of the few things that could recapture him a small slither of respect. Or rather a microscopic slither, but a slither all the same.
And MPs have criticised the quango slashing as "naive" and likely to cost more than it saves. It isnt naive though, is it, look at what they are cutting and what they are keeping - anything that restricts or regulates business goes, and vice versa.
As for costing more, this is the hallmark of ideological policy. If it were "pragmatic", as the idiot Perkins claimed at the Graun, then cost saving measures would... reduce costs. These *increase* costs - but almost everywhere they reshape the nature of the state into a marketised entity that someone can profit from.
That horrible sort of "round table" thing where Perkins made the "pragmatic" comment also had the parasite Warsi, the unelected homophobe, and in full seriousness she said the most clear message of the budget was "we're all in this together". What contempt you must have for the public to write that in a national broadsheet.
There'll be a self serving agenda to that libel law thing Jay, just like the quango slashing - I'd put money on it.
And the the banks...the bloody banks!! According to the beeb news this morning bankers salaries are rising between 20 - 40% to allow for a reduction in their bonuses. HMG just shrugging their shoulders saying there's nothing they can do about it. 'Course not!!
MsChin That article isn't helped by the wilfully slippery terminology - one minute "Asian", the next "Muslem", as if they are automatically interchangeable, and Brooks is as guilty as the Times with this, disappointing... it leads the argument all over the place and doesn't help anyone.
Besides the fact is there simply isn't enough data to do any analysis; it's a pretty pointless debate to begin with... As ever though eh ?
In case you're reading Luke, that's my major problem with CiF (there are others). Spurious inflamatory bullshit from posturing "opinion formers" replaces analysis, obfuscates data, weakens dissent.
That site could be everything that's great about publications like Private Eye, New Left Review, but instead we get lifestyle pieces and neo-liberal conformity, trading as a load of single-issue special pleading.
The odd decent, informed and well evidenced article by the likes of Prem Sika or Allyson Pollock hardly redresses the balance.
Given the unprecedented post-war strife about to rain down on a significant proportion of this country, what a criminally wasted opportunity.
That Brooks piece is very poor, and the racists and the anti-Muslim bigots have been out in force. But there are more reasoned criticisms of the piece too, concerning the way it seems to minimise real crimes because the BNP publicises them, and blurs what could be a genuine cultural problem behind hints of racism.
It is also true that any suggestion that the Guardian cover the original stories now appearing in the TImes was not only ignored, but deleted. I remember several such requests over the last few years.
There is some justice in the accusation that Guardian writers often work by taking an argument made by people they don't like and then arguing the opposite, no matter how weird that makes them look. Look at Naomi Wolf rewriting the history of feminism and rape trials, for instance.
PeterJ, I noticed a few minor errors in your post above and took the liberty of correcting them:
I feel SICK after reading the hateful, ignorant, fascist, Islamophobic bile being spouted by the right wing trolls, tory trolls, BNP trolls, EDL trolls, daily heil reading trolls and times paywall dodging trolls on the Libby Brooks thread.
PeterJ There are demographic patterns to many crimes, from so-called "honour killings" to the organised theft of caravans.
Siphoning off, out of context, and with no real data / evidence, the "identity politics" bit and then arguing any case is par for the course on CiF.
My argument with CiF is why does so much this crap get ATL, and we're left to filter out the few reasonable points BTL, the well targeted correctives that are lost in all the noise ? (Let alone to then often get deleted by a fuckwit intern for being way too on-the-money)
Perhaps you are more patient with me; I find it intellectually dishonest of CiF eds to do this as a modus operandi - then when you realise the calibre of Joseph Harker are deputy comment editors the penny drops. It's not an accident. This is the product they want.
It's no better an agent of social change, and as much an agent of conformity, as the Daily Mail really. Tragic, non ?
Sorry Peter, what I meant was I agree with your post, and I was facetiously implying that it's a bit more nuanced than some other contributions I have read on this site.
Ah, right. I thought for a minute it was a disclaimer I should put on all my comments with the appropriate writer's name added, like the ones corporate dorks have stuck on the end of their emails.
We all have our moments and mine was more mundane than most. But having only the other day decided to retire from Cif, I was put in premod this morning. Not one to seek explanations for anything (life's too short) I merely asked Cif to delete my account and homepage (as distinct from my posts, which the Guardian, apparently, has rights over). This came back - unprompted, I promise - from the moderation team and I want it nailed to my headstone:
"Dear Peter,
Your account has recently been placed under premoderation due to your recent posting of several abusive messages to other community members, such as:
"Surpassing, dangerous stupidity from Cif''s resident cretin."
"Don't be a cock"
"And I wanna puke. STFU, EnglishHermit."
Please note that, as your account has been subject to premoderation several times in the past, any further contravention on the community standards will result in your posting rights being permanently withdrawn.
Best,
Cif Moderation Team"
Anyhow, you'll be pleased to know that I'm taking indefinite leave of absence from this den of iniquity, too. But just wanted to say thanks and adieux to a few sterling characters: Leni, MF, BW, Ms Chin, the Duke Spencer, Jay and more besides.
That's a shame P-Brax. If I see a Cif piece called 'The western hegemony is solely to blame for all instances of Islamic terrorism' then I'll throw a few barbs at Berchmanns on your behalf.
Stick around, Bracken, the mods have killed off enough characters as it is (something the place is increasingly bereft of as a result). And you've got no excuse for not popping in this place for a row every now and again.
Look I agree P-Brax will be missed, but it's a bit crazy to blame this on 'teh mods'. Above he's quoted a selection of the random personal abuse he's posted lately, so he's hardly Mandela here.
Hardly Mandela, no, but nothing that is going to cause anyone lost sleep is it, we're all adults. YOu have to take the rough with the smooth with posters, otherwise you end up with a board full of completely vacuous morons who never offend but never entertain or challenge either.
Thats the option CiF decided to go for. Perhaps they think its more "inclusive" and will draw in more "lurkers" - it wont, it will just make the quality of debate much lower. Which is exactly what has happened - i'd be amazed if a single long term poster disagreed that debate at CiF has got much worse.
I've only been knocking around for a year or so, so I missed the good ol' days. But - while you've convinced me in the past that some specific mod decision was inconsistent (although I've never understood why you care so much), I'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar.
"I'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar."
Because in practice a substantial chunk of CiFs best posters have been liable to the odd bit of abuse and stiff language. Removing them has certainly lowered the bar.
The increased number of reasonable posts removed for no apparent reason also means longer posts arent worth the effort - so you now mainly get little 2 or 3 line efforts, that hurts debate massively.
I care to a degree because its the paper i read and the site i get my news/debate from. And rank stupidity always grates on principle.
I can state quite genuinely that Peter B's treatment is a pile of bollocks...I know I've maybe mentioned this before occasionally, but CIF has set set itself on a quasi-political course which can only result in a confederation of the terminally fuckin innocuous.
I can't say I ever agreed with much that he said but he was always good value and entertaining...could say the same about PikeBishop, WML, self-made and plenty of others.
However, it's not just 'political'. I think that anybody remotely 'colourful' just doesn't suit their aesthetic palette...not sure why this is, but it's always been the case with the average bourgeois liberal set...plays straight to their professed sensibilities in terms of 'fairness', inclusivity and their absolute horror at potential offence-taking.
What it produces, of course, is a vapid and entirely predictable set of 'comment-by-number' responses...offset by the supposedly finely-honed, crafted and subtly humorous offerings of the usual suspects, who've been lauded beyond all reasonable limits because they happen to chime with the preferences of Guardian staff and the mind-numbingly bland tastes of the spam. Seriously, there are one or two supposed 'cards' on there who leave me either cold or homicidal.
...also, as long as the 'debate' (sic) remains low-key, respectful, non-challenging and deferential it's all too easy to influence the outcome in the editorial favour. Appeals to good manners, conviviality and respect for other posters may seem entirely reasonable but speak more of intellectual temerity, lowered horizons and containment.
Seems to me, it's a policy decision...as evinced by the hordes of sock-lurkers who piled onto the recent thread to speak of their abject horror at the sight of the 'abuse' hurled at ATL contributors and the unsightly spats BTL. They've looked at the constant complaints about moderation and decided the solution is obviously more moderation...simply remove the complaints...if that doesn't work, remove the complainers...fuck the illness, we'll mask the symptoms with a coat of beige paint...brilliant!
The whole place grows more sick by the day...and with every intervention by CIFs own staff...they're killing the place through their own self-regard and stupidity.
Afternoon all. Can heave a sigh of relief and put a bottle of white in the fridge later for a much deserved drink. Just got back from the cardiac unit with my beloved, who had a quadruple bypass many years ago and was beginning to show signs of problems again. Fortunately three of the four grafts are doing fine and dandy and they reckon the fourth dodgy one won't warrant opening him up again and can be treated with meds.
Words cannot express how much I feel like crying with relief right now (which I won't, cos he's here in the room with me and would be upset to see me upset) but I just had to get it off my chest.
Phew. 2011 will be a better year for us than first feared. \o/
(Only my hypochondriac Dad to deal with now...)
I haven't heard what Clegg was supposed to announce about security measures or whatever it was, and call me a cynic, but as soon as I heard them say on the radio this morning that the threat level had been raised from "substantial" to "severe", I immediately thought that there would be some serious back-pedalling on all the civil liberties manifesto promises from the ConDems on the back of it.
Still, at least they didn't get the Met Commissioner to go on the Today programme and spout nonsense about the Wart on Error like Blair used to every time he had something dodgy to do with Iraq or Belmarsh detention without trial etc that he wanted to push through...
You drive me up the bloody wall half the time, mister, but I am really going to miss you if you stop posting. Please reconsider. You are one of the "characters".
Dont worry about blandness at CiF, MF - Rowan Davies is organising a "cif trespass" on Monday to cause crazy havoc by inviting some normal people to go and post there, people who arent "trolls". The troll to BTLs is generally a giant twat posting intentionally to irritate. For ATLs like Davies a "troll" is simply anyone who either a) disagrees with her or b) makes her look stupid.
Here - http://rowandavies.co.uk/2011/01/01/mass-cif-trespass-a-proposal/
I remember her "blokeosphere" article, i'm pretty sure I'm a "troll" who colludes to silence women on the net with SHOUTING (terrifying, arent they, every time i see a capital letter a little shriek of terror just sneaks out, very embarrassing in the office..).
Jay, fair enough - again, since I wasn't around, I'll take it at face value that the place has gotten worse.
I wonder though, and this is just speculation, how much of the exodus was to do with the moderation policy and how much is to do with posters reaching saturation point and acting up on purpose, or just flouncing off.
P-Brax was ready to jack it in just before this, and it showed the other day when the offending posts were made. Lots of other interesting posters have committed Cif suicide in the past 12 months, often after getting increasingly cranky (olching, stevehill, to name two).
I think maybe there's only so many things you can debate before it all gets a bit groundhog day, but because it's addictive you just keep going back and annoying yourself. I find myself doing this about once a week, so I make myself turn the laptop off and do something else.
Just a thought though, I can't really presume to know why people come and go.
I remember when they dramatised Huck Finn on radio 4 a few years back. Prior to the show itself, they had a half-hour piece (I think it might well have been done by Bonnie Greer? Can't really remember though) explaining the historicity of the word, its social context at the time and the context today. It then let the listeners hear the story.
That is the way to approach it. Not to fucking Bowdlerise a piece of art.
Or are we now going to have Hamlet talking about "rural matters" instead of "Country matters" because it is a play on the word "Cunt"?
I'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar.
Viz, it's an unfortunate fact of life that some people are cretins and should be told to shut the fuck up by Bracken and/or others. Jay's fears of Cif becoming a board of vacuous morons are justified - it's almost there already. Bring on the 'lurkers' that Hanman so passionately wants, and the place will implode in a white-hot starburst of medicrity and tedium.
On a lighter note, former Cif star and 2009 Commenter of the Year nominee, Imogen Black was on the telly last night explaining why she smoked several large skunk spliffs every day after work. I believe it was the stress of posting on Cif 50 times a day without her boss catching her. I always felt that her posts had a certain stoned hallucinatory feel to them, and now I know why. If she's still unemployed and totally stress-free, I suppose she has now just said No! to drugs. Or maybe not.
"Or are we now going to have Hamlet talking about "rural matters" instead of "Country matters" because it is a play on the word "Cunt"?"
Shhh. Someone might realise. As for Huck, if they're trying to save a few white teachers the embarrassment of having to use the word 'nigger' when teaching a mixed-race class, they probably need to read the book a little more carefully.
BB - So sorry to hear about your man and do hope everything will be ok. A quadruple bypass is serious bananas.
So Brakkers, you're finally bailing out and joining the ex-ciffers club. Is there another place where you'll be dispensing your wisdom? I should hate to miss it.
An example has been made - Chaytor gets 18 months - well he can't go to Ford open prison as they've burnt most of it down - so its likely to be some ancient Victorian nick with slopping out for him...heh..heh.. Elliot Morley et al will be bricking it now - others, I suspect have got away with it, protected by their masters.
It’s a thought… but no, dammit, I look awful in linen, I’ve not been on the back of a bike since 1999 (and that didn’t end well), and (most importantly) I imagine the “post rut” pillow talk would be unendurably turgid…
Sheff - I thought Chayter would do bird, but I was quite suprised at the length of the sentence.
Of course they had to make an example of him because he was in a position of public trust and abused that position horribly, but I would have expected a 12 month tariff at the most. Enough to make the point.
Can't say I am crying too many tears over it though...
"It's not hard to feel a bit sorry for David Chaytor"?
Aye, that's been put up for traffic reasons, and possibly to cull another couple of dozen posters when people start being 'expressive'.
happy birthday Jay! sorry if late - bit of a week...it's mine on Monday (bleah, monday) so am having a get-together tomorrow night, have to work out how to make macaroons at some point...
"Jay's fears of Cif becoming a board of vacuous morons are justified - it's almost there already. Bring on the 'lurkers' that Hanman so passionately wants, and the place will implode in a white-hot starburst of mediocrity and tedium."
almost?..there already
it used to be genuinely funny and entertaining and the quality of posts were much higher
...and that sort of thing doesn't get used 'used up', or presumably humour and conversation would have dried up some time around the middle ages...it's the moderation that's done it...and getting rid of anybody who was/is remotely controversial / challenging.
the supposed 'characters' around these days are very much of the officially sanctioned variety...and I'm not having a pop at hermione here but s/he used to be regarded as a bit of a joke by most people, although, admittedly s/he had the odd decent one-liner but was mainly notable for the goal-hanging..now s/he's a veritable comedy institution...and that hasn't come about through much more than the depletion of the opposition...and as for some of the other waddaya 'wags'...don't get me fuckin started.
BB - Can't say I'll worry too much about Chaytor either. What pisses me off though is that there are others who'll get away with it because they have some very senior protection.
There was a point made on the Mark Thomas programme the other night that MPs - because they have legislative power and decide, for example where the 'cuts' will be made, should all have to use public services - ie, send their kids to state schools, use public transport and the NHS - no bailing out and going private. Things might be a bit different then.
If you're interested in wonderful street photography shot in Chicago from the 50's to the 90s this is worth a watch - it was posted on waddya - so it can be good for something after all. Its fabulous work of mainly ordinary people going about their business
BB Glad that your other half is OK. It must have been very worrying.
The 18 month term for Chaytor, I thought it was about right but what about the Margaret Moran who also took the piss. She made a handsome profit from all that house 'flipping'.
Just a rant coming up: BBC 6 News, spent a good portion of the prog talking about cricket. It drives me mad the way the BBC news is so 'lightweight'. I made a formal complaint about the Breakfast show which is a parody of 'Broken News' where the presenters share the lines. So one says '...and a 74' next one then says '7 plane...' etc. It is like a TV version of Woman's Own
Thanks everyone for the kind wishes about me fella - I will pass them on. Just raising a glass of New Zealand white to whichever of the forces in the universe are protecting him. :o)
Meerkatjie - I know! He is a great sparring partner.
Hey gandolfo! Just in time for my really bad joke.
God I'm glad it's Friday, even though I have some work to do this weekend. Friday nights used to be about clubbing til the sun came up. Now they are about a bottle of wine, feet up and cheesy telly. Old age is a marvellous thing.
I like the idea of the early morning parties they have in places like Barcelona though. People come home from work, go to bed, then get up about 4 or 5, get dolled up to the nines and go out clubbing at dawn. What a brilliant idea for tired old women like me :o)
Imogen......in short no don't think it could be argued BB, sorry the evidence is stacked against her big time...also i could counter argue that skunk or whatever, normally makes people incoherently coherent...simogen was just bland, i mean can you seriously be that bland after smoking half your body weight daily yet still be capable of typing....?? the sums aren't adding up are they....
coulda my arse...I was heavyweight champion of the universe...only Seaton, the Don King of CIF, nobbled me...got the Nevada State Commission to revoke my license on trumped up charges of spam abuse, brought in his own slap-happy puppets, matched them up with a bunch of southpaw poodles and called it a boxing match.
I can't even type this stuff drunk any more...the merest sniff of a bevvy has me gagging for a smoke...I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to drink again if I stay off the fags...not to mention the mound of flapjacks I've had to make to use up the last of the weed. Not smoking is seriously fuckin boring...and even if I did go back to the pub I'd never be able to make my excuses and nip outside for a quick drag when things were getting tedious...how the hell do people manage without cigarettes? I thought it was just a couple of months of self-denial and willpower etc...it's more like a fuckin personality change...being lobotomised is probably a safer option.
They really don't like it on CiF when you post something about Marina Hyde's past doin' the jiggy with Piers Morgan. Like they're circling wagons or something.
The Hanman Five Year Plan is now becoming apparent. She's re-introduced a measure of Seaton's Provoke-Them-To-Post strategy (see: Biddy's Will-This-Do? For The Day and the return of Tanya Gold for commenters to sharpen their teeth on) and at the same time is turning BTL into a more inviting place.
It's not coincidental that Jay and The Major have been sin-binned in quick succession. Nor that they generally seem inordinately fond of the naughty step for even the most minor of offences. The idea seems to be to dumb it down, calm it down and create an environment where the lurkers don't feel intimidated and feel freer to post. Out go the bruisers and the polemicists, those who rip contributors down and those who liven the place up. In come the agreers and the Mike Gigglers. If you've got nothing to say, say it here.
It's also not coincidental that as the nature of the place has come to resemble that of a Home Counties basket weaving group, Waddya has turned into a monster. If there's nothing worth responding to in the articles, let's just shoot the shit on the one regular thread.
I wonder how the long the likes of Red Miner will hang around when he realizes it's just one big middle-class circle jerk?
Stop all the adverbs, cut off the traders phone, Prevent Islamic terrorists from entering his demilitarized zone, Silence Roxy Music and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the deluded left come.
Let NATO planes circle moaning overhead Cluster bombing on the sky, P-Brax- his CiF account is dead Put black crepe bows round the exhausts of powerful motorbikes, Equivocate Islamic fascism with the Third Reich.
He was his own North, own South, own East and own West, His trading week and his linen suited Sunday best His noon, his midnight, his talk, his Bryan Ferry song I thought muscular liberalist abuse would last forever: I was wrong
Liberal Intervention is not wanted now; stop every one Pack up the troops and dismantle the fun Pour away the chateau lafite and sweep up the abuse No longer will he enrage and completely bemuse.
Hi to martillo, Benulek, Duke and anyone else that we've not seen for a while.
monkeyfish
I've only cut down to 2 or 3 a day due to the flu; the other half has stopped smoking "cold pigeon" style, and has been pretty fucking objectionable ever since. I'm thinking of taking to drink ...
I would say welcome back your Grace, but this is the UT. So chew on my big cheesy chopper (not to be confused with The Brackenator's chrome-and-burgundy-leather Fat Boy). And welcome back.
Tried the patches right at the beginning, gandolfo, but - no sniggering at the back now - I really missed having something to do with my mouth, which is why I ended up with the lozenges.
I think I might try just getting some small mints or something similar that takes a long time to dissolve, and see if I can wean myself off altogether without killing anyone... :o)
"I thought muscular liberalist abuse would last forever: I was wrong"
That was my favourite line.
I think it's interesting, the people who are determinedly *not* commenting on the Bracken demise. It does make you wonder who's been hitting that report button....
The comment they removed was the one in which I criticised the use of PREMOD. I believe i said that we were all grown ups and didn't need to be pre-modded.
"I would very much appreciate a coherent explanation as to why I am now in premod.
To my knowledge I have not violated the terms and conditions. If you have placed me in premod simply for pointing out that I thought premod was an unnecessary aspect of moderation, then I believe this decision is beyond childish.
Incidentally, I've had next to no posts removed since joining the site, so to accelarate straight to premod for something so ridiculously trivial is, I believe, quite preposterous.
Personally, I am gutted that Bracken has been banned from CiF. It might mean that the fucker posts here more often. Some may think he offers a refreshingly different viewpoint, a new angle on things.
He doesn't, he just says "I'm fantastic and you're all scum". It's all he does.
Honest to god, I've posted stuff where I've thought 'if they remove this, I guess that's ok'... But that was probably one of the most anodyne things I've ever posted. And I just had a quick look over my posting history - it's been weeks since I've had something removed. So basically, I've gone from 'no offences' to 'premod' simply for saying 'I don't think premod's a useful moderation too'.
No, it's on everything. The post above was on whaddya (submitted to premod) and I've just posted on the toynbee thread (same response).
If they don't get back to me pretty soon, I'm just walking. I can't be arsed with this kind of silliness. I'm not going to have silly children putting me in premod for the crime of questioning the value of premod. I didn't even criticise moderation per se, ffs.
Meerk - if I may make so informal - Jay is in pre-mod just for complaining about deletions and one of CiF's finest, the late Lord Summerisle, was outright banned for arguing deletions on a Bidisha thread (which, as I've mentioned, is tantamount in CiF terms to skullfucking Bambi's dead eye sockets).
Lord Summerisle was reinstated after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but then he wandered off anyway, probably fed up with all the bullshit that went with just trying to express an opinion. I've seen some very mild-mannered posters bludgeoned out of there with bans and pre-mod.
Pre-mod is the current weapon of choice. Just imagine moderators as Cartman screaming 'repect my authoritah!' and you'll get the general idea.
Oh and following on from Habib's advice, don't smile at them either as they interpret it as baring your teeth and are liable to attack.
I'm fascinated by bru's stalwart non-engagement with all things moderation. It's like the conversation's going on around her, but she just can't hear it...
Isn't that how we ended up changing the name here to The Untrusted? Was it Brian Whitt or Seaton someone who wrote to someone about people being "untrusted" - lovely bit of Orwellian newspeak if ever I heard it...
If you do end up leaving CiF (and who would blame you, what a stupid thing for them to have done), drop us a line if you feel like it. Email on my faculty page http://tinyurl.com/39dq7y4. Would really value your opinion on the porn piece, if you're still interested in reading it.
there is definitely something going on round CiF towers. I think the skinny rib t-shirt, hoxton haircut SS death's head mod squad have been sent in on a mopping up mission.
Couple of interesting recent Dutch news items.
1. The Amsterdam chief of police has been under fire from Wilders and the PVV for remarks he made about the upcoming burqa ban. Bernard Welten said that his officers would not necessarily arrest women wearing the burqa adding that it is a waste of police time.
Sad state of affairs when its the coppers making sense.
2. Tax inspectors have been visiting prostitutes in Amsterdam's red light district this week to assess which income tax bracket they should be erm, inserted into.
This is the first year that prostitutes have had to pay income tax, previously paying other forms of tax.
The tax office have classed prostitutes for tax purposes as...wait for it..."hardworking freelancers".
Chekhov, the whole pre-mod thing is an attempt to nudge and cajole CiF into what Hanman would doubtless characterize as more civilized discourse. Problem is, it's nothing of the kind.
One of the joys of CiF when I joined - just two short years ago - was to read a BTL poster's tour de force dismantling of an ATL contributor. It was those 'Fuck yeah!' moments that made it all worthwhile as you read someone, passionately or forensically, ripping apart every piece of nonsense and hypocrisy in the latest Tablet of Islington Stone to be laid before us. Those days are gone.
Hanman's logic probably goes like this. If someone posts, they will refresh and return to the page much more often than if they just read through, if only to see if they've been responded to or affected the flow of the argument. Therefore if we widen the base of posters, we vastly increase the number of page hits. So anything that stops the bewitched, bollixed and bewildered lurker from joining the fray - vehemently argued opinion, a sound grasp of the subject etc., from other posters - has to go.
Meerk's sin was to point out the people behind the curtain pulling the levers.
@Meerkatjie; you don't have to say anything exciting. One sentence of common sense is enough to get you in "pre-mod"! That's the reason why it is such a sham.
However be careful what you say on here, you could get locked up in "Bitterweed's" loft for three days;-)
Evenin' all... swift drive-by as I feel like absolute shite, 5 days into being on the wagon and I feel like I've been run over :(
Having decided there is no alcohol content in curry, it has not filled the wineglass shaped hole for which my soul yearns!!! Am pretty sure I've never felt this rough abstaining for a bit before? Curious.
Had a long day...
Just wanted to say BB - by the time you read this I reckon you'll be on the 3rd glass by now - you'll be getting fuzzy E face with the relief of it all in a minute if you don't watch it Missus.. heheheh. Truly, am very glad to hear all is well. xxxxx
As for CiF, it really is an absolute bloody bore. The only decent thing is Martin Rowson's and Steve Bell's cartoons.... threads are so swarmed with trolls and flamers, BTL and ATL - has anyone actually read the Simon Jenkins thread? It is fucking, fucking unbelievably fucking insulting and offensive.... I loathe that man.
OK - Peter Bracken - I'm really sorry to hear about the pompous piece of pre-modding... it's like being told off by the Head Girl in the 6th form.....farcical. I do hope you don't stop posting here either, even if I have had a go at you, unfairly at times, you've never ripped me to shreds, I thank you for that.... you are still a decent fella underneath all the bluster methinks....
Am thinking of throwing in the towel there too... being a poster in the olden days was like being a bi-polar sufferer on a dramatic high... now it's all just a bloody miserable low as the Moderators and thought-police administer the Lithium conforming, tablets....the only thing that's stopping me, is the thought of having to go through my entire archive and copy it into something else, including all my clippings....it's as bad as my email inbox.
They are magic, thanks for that I hadn't come across them before. They just reek of Dutch Golden age opulence don’t they? On the Leiden ones, I live to the north west of the city boundary on the map, other side of today’s railway station.
Rembrandt was from Leiden which reminds me of one of my all time favourite Viz top tips:
Dutch Masters. Try a little more light in your paintings. It's often difficult to see what's happening in the corners.
Re being on the wagon - I have decided to be kind to myself and allow myself a couple of bevvies when it isn't a school night, which gives me another reason to look forward to the weekend. But I am off the sauce during the week - after the Christmas and New Year shenanigans I don't think my liver could take much more anyway...
...although tbh, I feel for Peter B...CIf really was his 'heimat' and indeed was mine for similar though crucially different reasons.
For him it afforded a space to vent his brand of abrasive certainty...I'm sure there are plenty who read Hitchens or Cohen (especially 'What's Left')...I'm assuming he has btw; wouldn't believe him if he denied it... and regarded their, admittedly persuasive, 'demolition' of the po-mo/ relativist/ 'Cultural Studies' Left as not only a call to arms, but a watershed which left a palimpsest that spontaneously abnegated not only cultural and moral relativism, but also, and significantly, any serious claim that there was an alternative to ongoing global capitalism...that collectivism, solidarity and class consciousness were deluded anachronisms.
He might well have been a small (OK medium) fish if he'd swum in the Telegraph pond...and, let's be honest about it..it's certainly where I feel a certain kinship with the guy, baiting middle class liberals is a fucking good laugh...although, baiting from the left is even more funnier.
That said, and this is why I sympathise with Hank, I always thought...was told from an early age, in fact, that liberals were as much the enemy as the right.
I can't honestly say I hate Tories. OK...I do, but not in the way I feel about the likes of, say, Toynbee and Blair. Tories are Tories; basically, they do what it says on the tin. I feel about Tories the way I'd feel about a pack of hyenas...obviously I'd want to exterminate them if they got too close or started fucking me about...and I certainly want to blast away at the moment, but it's not as though I bear them any personal animus...they're unthinking, rapacious scavengers.
They want the fuckin lot...imagine what the Savannah would look like if anyone ever gave the hyenas shotguns. The daft bastards wouldn't stop shooting till every living thing was meat, decaying, putrefying and stinking out the whole place...they'd be fat as fuck; not a thought for tomorrow or any other poor creature's feelings, and when they'd scooped the lot...what next? Kings of a fuckin charnel house...nice move. That's what NuLabour should have said; "every Tory vote hands a shotgun to a hyena"...only they didn't, cos they were a bunch of jackals who had their eyes on the Uzis.
The liberals, though...they're a different matter entirely...and I suspect deep down they know themselves for the appalling hypocrites they are...want it both ways...all the spoils of neo-liberalism..the nannies, the kids' cello lessons.. AND they can remain the good guys..side of the angels...and still get to snipe at the Tories for their crass individualism while sneering at the working classes for their tacky aspirations and anti-intellectualism...but they're entirely complicit, it was the Liberals who denied them a political voice by co-opting their party to the great cause of useful idiocy...driven by their consternation at the thought of sharing power with representatives of the great unwashed. Fuck em...and frankly fuck CIF...and now it seems everybody is getting banned, premodded etc, perhaps I can finally nail the myth that I was banned for persistant abusive behaviour...I wasn't...I was banned because I was one of a number of little boys and girls who kept screaming "that fat bastard emperor's got nothing on".
So if Chekhov is right and "they were only about two years too late with that post....maybe they'll turn up on here quite soon!"...I'm not gonna feel too self-indulgent in telling some of them just what I think; especially the ones who waited until I was banned to launch their grandstanding limp-wristed comebacks after I called them on their cap-doffing servility to the sentinels of their CCTV infested gated-utopia.
Fuck me, I want a cigarette and a drink and a spliff...and a job.
BB - ;) as someone posh said to me the other day... I think my liver has actually turned into Fois Gras....
Don't think I can take much more of this... there is a bottle of Brandy on the sideboard with a couple of snifters in.... no, no, no. NOOOOOOOOOO>..... I must resist!
I can see why Hanman wants lurkers, mind...if they were ever gonna cause her any trouble, let's face it, they wouldn't be lurkers...they'd have said something by now...can't believe anybody can consistently 'lurk' and not have had their piss boiled at some point.
"That's what NuLabour should have said; "every Tory vote hands a shotgun to a hyena"...only they didn't, cos they were a bunch of jackals who had their eyes on the Uzis."
A few quick observation's on tonight's CiF clusterfuck and CiF generally.
There seem to be more articles recently leaving CiF with fewer than one hundred comments under their belts. CiF Europe in particular seems to be tanking. Ditto specialist pieces on small countries in Africa and on the public transportation travails of minor Egyptian cities. The general consensus seems to be 'meh'.
Paywall dodgers are now a largely unmoderated force to be reckoned with. They post early and often, as it doesn't take much time to rehearse an argument that's been unchanged in your mind for 40 years and has been trotted out countless times at the golf club towards the end of the night.
CiF seems to like the paywall dodgers, as they're post whores and fond of the sound of their own clicks. Let their rants stand and they'll come again tomorrow. They might even bring their mates.
MF - re lurking, I think I lurked for about a year before posting, then posted one or two things and ran away again. Took me a while to get the confidence to post regularly.
I imagine that it might be like that for a lot of people. They either think that it is very cliquey and are worried they will be viewed like a hair turning up on their bowl of soup, or are a bit overawed by some of the more visceral rebuttals - not to mention the downright fruit-loops.
I think that is probably an age thing, though. People in their 20s have, frankly, as adults never known any different. Oldies in their late 40s like me still think that the intarwebz is something to be taken v e r y s e r i o u s l y and it takes a while to understand how it functions, and how to interact online in a normal way.
Did you get the latest software update MsC? Usually it's a few tweaks under the hood, but this time it installed an App Store icon in the dock. I'd remove it only there are actually a few interesting bits of kit in there. Knowing Jobs you still have to give them your credit card number just to download the freeware.
That and the current Rapid Other has promised me an iPhone4 for my birthday and I find myself strangely fascinated by absolutely pointless apps. It's all fiendishly mind-warping. Just as well I'm broke.
!"...I'm not gonna feel too self-indulgent in telling some of them just what I think; especially the ones who waited until I was banned to launch their grandstanding limp-wristed comebacks after I called them on their cap-doffing servility to the sentinels of their CCTV infested gated-utopia.
Bring it on "Monkeyfish".
It's a bit of a stretch to make the transition from CIF to this site; I "ummed and ahhed" about it for a while but I'm so glad I made the switch.
Regardless of the posts..good or bad.. they aren't censored which is just another term for "MODERATION"and that is what stinks about CIF.
Oh the crocodile tears being shed hear tonight for Peter Bracken and Meerkatjie are really both pathetic and hypocritical to the extreme.
Here is the list of those who post here who have at some time exposed posters to the CiF moderators, in the full knowledge that this would lead to a banning and more importantly a strengthening of the moderators' position.
Can I just fix this bit for you? Just a sec, nearly there, stand still and don't fidget. Here we go -
perhaps I can finally nail the myth that I was banned for persistant abusive behaviour...I wasn't...I was banned because they found out that I was a fat Scouse git who used to sell the Socialist Worker in Deptford.
I'll bet that that particular revelation sent shudders of distaste and revulsion round the dinner tables of Islington like a tsunami in a well-stocked Smeg fridge. Your card was marked then, mate. Nothing to do with what you said. You were just collateral damage in the Cif editorial war against informed opinion, interestingness and a sense of humour.
btw, I'd love to love wishy-washy liberals. I wish I could be one. But I can't.
You know, bitey, I'm a bit hacked off at being put in premod, but basically it's because it's such a stupid overreaction to a completely innocuous post.
But realistically, in 12 months time, I won't still be hanging around whining about it.
Can you see the difference between you and I? Indeed between you and Peter? It's that pesky perspective thing. You should try it. It's liberating.
You're not thick! Away with you! @BB; that's your opinion. Anyway whether I'm a bit thick or not is not really the issue.
I just find adopting the position of not knowing anything gets a better response, whereas telling everyone you are an expert on everything gets a totally different traffic!
Top left, MsC. Click on the Apple icon and go to "Software Update" on the drop down menu. Click on it. It will install the latest fixes (about 200MB in size).
Then it tells you to restart. When you do, this time - instead of getting things running a bit more smoothly as is usual after a software update - it's installed a new icon in your dock at the bottom of the screen. It's probably second from the left, just next to your 'Finder' icon.
Click on the App Store icon and there are oodles of software programs for you to buy - for your Mac, your iPod Touch, iPhone etc. Like most things Apple do, the App Store is annoyingly seductive. Fuck you Steve Jobs, haven't you got enough of my money? The plan I think is to have just about every piece of Mac software in one place. You can read it as damned handy for users or control freakery by Apple. Probably a bit of both.
You can skip the current software update I suppose, but I suspect they'll just sneak it in the next time.
The liberals, though...they're a different matter entirely...and I suspect deep down they know themselves for the appalling hypocrites they are...want it both ways...all the spoils of neo-liberalism..the nannies, the kids' cello lessons.. AND they can remain the good guys..side of the angels...and still get to snipe at the Tories for their crass individualism while sneering at the working classes for their tacky aspirations and anti-intellectualism...but they're entirely complicit, it was the Liberals who denied them a political voice by co-opting their party to the great cause of useful idiocy...driven by their consternation at the thought of sharing power with representatives of the great unwashed.
Amen. You've hit the truth more relentlessly the last 6 months than Phil Taylor has hit treble twenties.
I don't want to come across as some kind of saddo fanboy here but seriously, you should at the very least have some kind of blog going. Pure gold.
Lord Summerisle was reinstated after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but then he wandered off anyway, probably fed up with all the bullshit that went with just trying to express an opinion. I've seen some very mild-mannered posters bludgeoned out of there with bans and pre-mod.
Doubless having crawled back to acceptance and out of pre-mod, he realised he had more self-respect than Jay, (who adopted the same strategy), and accepted that living with a tainted reputation was mistake.
"Here is the list of those who post here who have at some time exposed posters to the CiF moderators, ..."
No Bitey. It's a list of those who post here who have, at some time, exposed YOU to the CiF moderaters, either directly or obliquely, because you are a tosser.
MF, I have always thought 'liberal' was a dirty word, an insult. And as for the likes of Blair, the libdems ... well, they're wolves in sheep's clothing, aren't they?
I've already started the 'how will I vote' crisis. This usually only really starts to prick about a year before a general election.
BW - I am a tad TELPed* mesself now. Just glad they won't have to cut through my beloved's sternum with a fucking saw and stick his heart in a bucket again. Not sure how he would have coped with that the second time around...
"Doubless having crawled back to acceptance and out of pre-mod, he realised he had more self-respect than Jay, (who adopted the same strategy), and accepted that living with a tainted reputation was mistake. "
Tainted reputation? You really are out there where the buses don't run, aren't you Bitey? Twat.
Hi mschin. Regarding old bitey not having a sense of humour - well, he makes me laugh anyway. (As did the galloping Major). I really like BTH's unshakeable belief that he is a sea-green incorruptible who dares to speak truth to power, and his tireless insistence that he is always right. He's quite similar to Peter in that respect, and indeed he has defended Peter several times when all others were calling the sweet-natured, always polite, and frequently misunderstood Major B seventeen shades of despicable scum.
"Oh no tears being shed hear(sic) tonight for Bitey"
Morning all, thanks for birthday messages!
ReplyDeleteThe mornings news:
Clegg is to reform the libel laws, we are told. In the extremely unlikely event of this ever happening, that is probably one of the few things that could recapture him a small slither of respect. Or rather a microscopic slither, but a slither all the same.
And MPs have criticised the quango slashing as "naive" and likely to cost more than it saves. It isnt naive though, is it, look at what they are cutting and what they are keeping - anything that restricts or regulates business goes, and vice versa.
As for costing more, this is the hallmark of ideological policy. If it were "pragmatic", as the idiot Perkins claimed at the Graun, then cost saving measures would... reduce costs. These *increase* costs - but almost everywhere they reshape the nature of the state into a marketised entity that someone can profit from.
That horrible sort of "round table" thing where Perkins made the "pragmatic" comment also had the parasite Warsi, the unelected homophobe, and in full seriousness she said the most clear message of the budget was "we're all in this together". What contempt you must have for the public to write that in a national broadsheet.
There'll be a self serving agenda to that libel law thing Jay, just like the quango slashing - I'd put money on it.
ReplyDeleteAnd the the banks...the bloody banks!! According to the beeb news this morning bankers salaries are rising between 20 - 40% to allow for a reduction in their bonuses. HMG just shrugging their shoulders saying there's nothing they can do about it. 'Course not!!
Right, off to dentist - ugh!
The internet is eerily quiet. Did the rapture happen? Did I get left behind?
ReplyDeleteMany Happy returns Jay! I like a slither of respect for Cleggyweggy. Freudian or yer ain?
ReplyDeleteMsChin
ReplyDeleteThat article isn't helped by the wilfully slippery terminology - one minute "Asian", the next "Muslem", as if they are automatically interchangeable, and Brooks is as guilty as the Times with this, disappointing... it leads the argument all over the place and doesn't help anyone.
Besides the fact is there simply isn't enough data to do any analysis; it's a pretty pointless debate to begin with... As ever though eh ?
Comment my arse.
The Rapture's here!? Finally!!
ReplyDeleteI'll bid you all farewell now! You know, just in case they don't have WiFi in the promised land.
You lot enjoy your rivers of lava and that.....
Bitters
ReplyDeleteExactly. Not seen The Times piece (paywall), but can imagine the content is equally spurious.
Jay & Turm
A slither of anything does not match a glob of spittle @ Clegg imho.
@MsC... It's good to know he's gettin dog shit through his letterbox...
ReplyDeleteIn case you're reading Luke, that's my major problem with CiF (there are others). Spurious inflamatory bullshit from posturing "opinion formers" replaces analysis, obfuscates data, weakens dissent.
ReplyDeleteThat site could be everything that's great about publications like Private Eye, New Left Review, but instead we get lifestyle pieces and neo-liberal conformity, trading as a load of single-issue special pleading.
The odd decent, informed and well evidenced article by the likes of Prem Sika or Allyson Pollock hardly redresses the balance.
Given the unprecedented post-war strife about to rain down on a significant proportion of this country, what a criminally wasted opportunity.
Christ MsChin - CJCJC set to top 500 recommends with that?
ReplyDeleteOK, back to work...
BW
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments entirely. And back to work for me too ...
Sorry, Turm, and yes - a new form of spray painting of his hallway would be good, no?
ReplyDeleteThat Brooks piece is very poor, and the racists and the anti-Muslim bigots have been out in force. But there are more reasoned criticisms of the piece too, concerning the way it seems to minimise real crimes because the BNP publicises them, and blurs what could be a genuine cultural problem behind hints of racism.
ReplyDeleteIt is also true that any suggestion that the Guardian cover the original stories now appearing in the TImes was not only ignored, but deleted. I remember several such requests over the last few years.
There is some justice in the accusation that Guardian writers often work by taking an argument made by people they don't like and then arguing the opposite, no matter how weird that makes them look. Look at Naomi Wolf rewriting the history of feminism and rape trials, for instance.
PeterJ, I noticed a few minor errors in your post above and took the liberty of correcting them:
ReplyDeleteI feel SICK after reading the hateful, ignorant, fascist, Islamophobic bile being spouted by the right wing trolls, tory trolls, BNP trolls, EDL trolls, daily heil reading trolls and times paywall dodging trolls on the Libby Brooks thread.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand you, Vizzo.
ReplyDeletePeterJ
ReplyDeleteThere are demographic patterns to many crimes, from so-called "honour killings" to the organised theft of caravans.
Siphoning off, out of context, and with no real data / evidence, the "identity politics" bit and then arguing any case is par for the course on CiF.
My argument with CiF is why does so much this crap get ATL, and we're left to filter out the few reasonable points BTL, the well targeted correctives that are lost in all the noise ? (Let alone to then often get deleted by a fuckwit intern for being way too on-the-money)
Perhaps you are more patient with me; I find it intellectually dishonest of CiF eds to do this as a modus operandi - then when you realise the calibre of Joseph Harker are deputy comment editors the penny drops. It's not an accident. This is the product they want.
It's no better an agent of social change, and as much an agent of conformity, as the Daily Mail really. Tragic, non ?
Sorry Peter, what I meant was I agree with your post, and I was facetiously implying that it's a bit more nuanced than some other contributions I have read on this site.
ReplyDelete@Vizzo
ReplyDeleteAh, right. I thought for a minute it was a disclaimer I should put on all my comments with the appropriate writer's name added, like the ones corporate dorks have stuck on the end of their emails.
We all have our moments and mine was more mundane than most. But having only the other day decided to retire from Cif, I was put in premod this morning. Not one to seek explanations for anything (life's too short) I merely asked Cif to delete my account and homepage (as distinct from my posts, which the Guardian, apparently, has rights over). This came back - unprompted, I promise - from the moderation team and I want it nailed to my headstone:
ReplyDelete"Dear Peter,
Your account has recently been placed under premoderation due to your recent posting of several abusive messages to other community members, such as:
"Surpassing, dangerous stupidity from Cif''s resident cretin."
"Don't be a cock"
"And I wanna puke. STFU, EnglishHermit."
Please note that, as your account has been subject to premoderation several times in the past, any further contravention on the community standards will result in your posting rights being permanently withdrawn.
Best,
Cif Moderation Team"
Anyhow, you'll be pleased to know that I'm taking indefinite leave of absence from this den of iniquity, too. But just wanted to say thanks and adieux to a few sterling characters: Leni, MF, BW, Ms Chin, the Duke Spencer, Jay and more besides.
Peter
That's a bit rough. Didn't you immediately apologise to English Hermit?
ReplyDeleteAll the best Peter and don't be a stranger here!
ReplyDeleteStocks to be short traded, landscapes to unzip, prose to enmangulate. He shall be missed. But eventually our aim will improve.
ReplyDeleteRIP P-Brax
That's a shame P-Brax. If I see a Cif piece called 'The western hegemony is solely to blame for all instances of Islamic terrorism' then I'll throw a few barbs at Berchmanns on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteSorry, that should have read 'When I see a Cif piece...'
ReplyDeletePeterB
ReplyDeleteWTF? That's just ridiculous.
Stick around, Bracken, the mods have killed off enough characters as it is (something the place is increasingly bereft of as a result). And you've got no excuse for not popping in this place for a row every now and again.
ReplyDeleteLook I agree P-Brax will be missed, but it's a bit crazy to blame this on 'teh mods'. Above he's quoted a selection of the random personal abuse he's posted lately, so he's hardly Mandela here.
ReplyDeleteHardly Mandela, no, but nothing that is going to cause anyone lost sleep is it, we're all adults. YOu have to take the rough with the smooth with posters, otherwise you end up with a board full of completely vacuous morons who never offend but never entertain or challenge either.
ReplyDeleteThats the option CiF decided to go for. Perhaps they think its more "inclusive" and will draw in more "lurkers" - it wont, it will just make the quality of debate much lower. Which is exactly what has happened - i'd be amazed if a single long term poster disagreed that debate at CiF has got much worse.
Bracks in pre mod????
ReplyDeleteNo fuckin' way!
Another One Bites The Dust!
ReplyDeleteOf all the things Peter has ever said to other users, those were about 3 tamest.
ReplyDeleteChayter gets 18 months for fiddling £18K, but Osborne legally avoids tax to the tune of £1.6m. A case of you don't get justice, you get law.
ReplyDeleteI've only been knocking around for a year or so, so I missed the good ol' days. But - while you've convinced me in the past that some specific mod decision was inconsistent (although I've never understood why you care so much), I'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar.
ReplyDeleteMsChin
ReplyDeleteOld MervynInEcuador'son holiday at the moment.
LOL, Paul! Or puke ...
ReplyDelete"I'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar."
ReplyDeleteBecause in practice a substantial chunk of CiFs best posters have been liable to the odd bit of abuse and stiff language. Removing them has certainly lowered the bar.
The increased number of reasonable posts removed for no apparent reason also means longer posts arent worth the effort - so you now mainly get little 2 or 3 line efforts, that hurts debate massively.
I care to a degree because its the paper i read and the site i get my news/debate from. And rank stupidity always grates on principle.
I can state quite genuinely that Peter B's treatment is a pile of bollocks...I know I've maybe mentioned this before occasionally, but CIF has set set itself on a quasi-political course which can only result in a confederation of the terminally fuckin innocuous.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I ever agreed with much that he said but he was always good value and entertaining...could say the same about PikeBishop, WML, self-made and plenty of others.
However, it's not just 'political'. I think that anybody remotely 'colourful' just doesn't suit their aesthetic palette...not sure why this is, but it's always been the case with the average bourgeois liberal set...plays straight to their professed sensibilities in terms of 'fairness', inclusivity and their absolute horror at potential offence-taking.
What it produces, of course, is a vapid and entirely predictable set of 'comment-by-number' responses...offset by the supposedly finely-honed, crafted and subtly humorous offerings of the usual suspects, who've been lauded beyond all reasonable limits because they happen to chime with the preferences of Guardian staff and the mind-numbingly bland tastes of the spam. Seriously, there are one or two supposed 'cards' on there who leave me either cold or homicidal.
...also, as long as the 'debate' (sic) remains low-key, respectful, non-challenging and deferential it's all too easy to influence the outcome in the editorial favour. Appeals to good manners, conviviality and respect for other posters may seem entirely reasonable but speak more of intellectual temerity, lowered horizons and containment.
Seems to me, it's a policy decision...as evinced by the hordes of sock-lurkers who piled onto the recent thread to speak of their abject horror at the sight of the 'abuse' hurled at ATL contributors and the unsightly spats BTL. They've looked at the constant complaints about moderation and decided the solution is obviously more moderation...simply remove the complaints...if that doesn't work, remove the complainers...fuck the illness, we'll mask the symptoms with a coat of beige paint...brilliant!
The whole place grows more sick by the day...and with every intervention by CIFs own staff...they're killing the place through their own self-regard and stupidity.
Afternoon all. Can heave a sigh of relief and put a bottle of white in the fridge later for a much deserved drink. Just got back from the cardiac unit with my beloved, who had a quadruple bypass many years ago and was beginning to show signs of problems again. Fortunately three of the four grafts are doing fine and dandy and they reckon the fourth dodgy one won't warrant opening him up again and can be treated with meds.
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express how much I feel like crying with relief right now (which I won't, cos he's here in the room with me and would be upset to see me upset) but I just had to get it off my chest.
Phew. 2011 will be a better year for us than first feared. \o/
(Only my hypochondriac Dad to deal with now...)
I haven't heard what Clegg was supposed to announce about security measures or whatever it was, and call me a cynic, but as soon as I heard them say on the radio this morning that the threat level had been raised from "substantial" to "severe", I immediately thought that there would be some serious back-pedalling on all the civil liberties manifesto promises from the ConDems on the back of it.
Still, at least they didn't get the Met Commissioner to go on the Today programme and spout nonsense about the Wart on Error like Blair used to every time he had something dodgy to do with Iraq or Belmarsh detention without trial etc that he wanted to push through...
Ode on the passing of the Major
ReplyDeleteI wandered o’er to CiF one day
And noticed something lackin’
A gloomy pall was on the place
At the demise of Bracken
The roar of mighty engines gone
For something sadly beiger
I looked through teary eyes and mourned
The passing of the Major
His red face to be seen no more
Was bitter gall to me
I’ll raise a claret glass one day
To good old Peter B
But did a wise man not once say
“Old soldiers never die”?
And so with them, shall yet it be
With Bracken, R.I…
…P
Sorry - couldn’t quite get that last bit to work properly.
Bad news about P-Brax
ReplyDeleteYou drive me up the bloody wall half the time, mister, but I am really going to miss you if you stop posting. Please reconsider. You are one of the "characters".
Good news, BB, glad went ok.
ReplyDeleteDont worry about blandness at CiF, MF - Rowan Davies is organising a "cif trespass" on Monday to cause crazy havoc by inviting some normal people to go and post there, people who arent "trolls". The troll to BTLs is generally a giant twat posting intentionally to irritate. For ATLs like Davies a "troll" is simply anyone who either a) disagrees with her or b) makes her look stupid.
Here -
http://rowandavies.co.uk/2011/01/01/mass-cif-trespass-a-proposal/
I remember her "blokeosphere" article, i'm pretty sure I'm a "troll" who colludes to silence women on the net with SHOUTING (terrifying, arent they, every time i see a capital letter a little shriek of terror just sneaks out, very embarrassing in the office..).
Jay, fair enough - again, since I wasn't around, I'll take it at face value that the place has gotten worse.
ReplyDeleteI wonder though, and this is just speculation, how much of the exodus was to do with the moderation policy and how much is to do with posters reaching saturation point and acting up on purpose, or just flouncing off.
P-Brax was ready to jack it in just before this, and it showed the other day when the offending posts were made. Lots of other interesting posters have committed Cif suicide in the past 12 months, often after getting increasingly cranky (olching, stevehill, to name two).
I think maybe there's only so many things you can debate before it all gets a bit groundhog day, but because it's addictive you just keep going back and annoying yourself. I find myself doing this about once a week, so I make myself turn the laptop off and do something else.
Just a thought though, I can't really presume to know why people come and go.
Quality poem, Swift - but i hope you're not making a late move for the pillion?
ReplyDeleteBenulek
ReplyDeleteI remember when they dramatised Huck Finn on radio 4 a few years back. Prior to the show itself, they had a half-hour piece (I think it might well have been done by Bonnie Greer? Can't really remember though) explaining the historicity of the word, its social context at the time and the context today. It then let the listeners hear the story.
That is the way to approach it. Not to fucking Bowdlerise a piece of art.
Or are we now going to have Hamlet talking about "rural matters" instead of "Country matters" because it is a play on the word "Cunt"?
"For ATLs like Davies a "troll" is simply anyone who either a) disagrees with her or b) makes her look stupid."
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, this is a definition I can see a fair few BTLers subscribing to.
BeautifulBurnout, glad the news was good. Cry with relief, it's good for you. As is the wine.
Superb poem, Swifty. Nice one. :o)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sold that the freedom to call people cretins and tell them to STFU would exactly raise the bar.
ReplyDeleteViz, it's an unfortunate fact of life that some people are cretins and should be told to shut the fuck up by Bracken and/or others. Jay's fears of Cif becoming a board of vacuous morons are justified - it's almost there already. Bring on the 'lurkers' that Hanman so passionately wants, and the place will implode in a white-hot starburst of medicrity and tedium.
On a lighter note, former Cif star and 2009 Commenter of the Year nominee, Imogen Black was on the telly last night explaining why she smoked several large skunk spliffs every day after work. I believe it was the stress of posting on Cif 50 times a day without her boss catching her. I always felt that her posts had a certain stoned hallucinatory feel to them, and now I know why. If she's still unemployed and totally stress-free, I suppose she has now just said No! to drugs. Or maybe not.
How Drugs Work
"Or are we now going to have Hamlet talking about "rural matters" instead of "Country matters" because it is a play on the word "Cunt"?"
ReplyDeleteShhh. Someone might realise. As for Huck, if they're trying to save a few white teachers the embarrassment of having to use the word 'nigger' when teaching a mixed-race class, they probably need to read the book a little more carefully.
evening all
ReplyDeleteLe weekend - thank christ...!
BB - So sorry to hear about your man and do hope everything will be ok. A quadruple bypass is serious bananas.
So Brakkers, you're finally bailing out and joining the ex-ciffers club. Is there another place where you'll be dispensing your wisdom? I should hate to miss it.
An example has been made - Chaytor gets 18 months - well he can't go to Ford open prison as they've burnt most of it down - so its likely to be some ancient Victorian nick with slopping out for him...heh..heh.. Elliot Morley et al will be bricking it now - others, I suspect have got away with it, protected by their masters.
@Jay:
ReplyDeleteIt’s a thought… but no, dammit, I look awful in linen, I’ve not been on the back of a bike since 1999 (and that didn’t end well), and (most importantly) I imagine the “post rut” pillow talk would be unendurably turgid…
Christ I'm keeping away from that Brooks thread. I can feel my blood pressure rising already...
ReplyDeleteSheff - I thought Chayter would do bird, but I was quite suprised at the length of the sentence.
ReplyDeleteOf course they had to make an example of him because he was in a position of public trust and abused that position horribly, but I would have expected a 12 month tariff at the most. Enough to make the point.
Can't say I am crying too many tears over it though...
"Christ I'm keeping away from that Brooks thread. I can feel my blood pressure rising already..."
ReplyDeleteI'd better not mention the Michael White thread on Chaytor, then...
Oooh. Might take a look at that one, Benulek. :o)
ReplyDelete"It's not hard to feel a bit sorry for David Chaytor"?
ReplyDeleteAye, that's been put up for traffic reasons, and possibly to cull another couple of dozen posters when people start being 'expressive'.
happy birthday Jay! sorry if late - bit of a week...it's mine on Monday (bleah, monday) so am having a get-together tomorrow night, have to work out how to make macaroons at some point...
BB - glad to hear the mari is ok.
plus - that is a lovely robin at the top of the thread. needed that.
ReplyDelete"Jay's fears of Cif becoming a board of vacuous morons are justified - it's almost there already. Bring on the 'lurkers' that Hanman so passionately wants, and the place will implode in a white-hot starburst of mediocrity and tedium."
ReplyDeletealmost?..there already
it used to be genuinely funny and entertaining and the quality of posts were much higher
...and that sort of thing doesn't get used 'used up', or presumably humour and conversation would have dried up some time around the middle ages...it's the moderation that's done it...and getting rid of anybody who was/is remotely controversial / challenging.
the supposed 'characters' around these days are very much of the officially sanctioned variety...and I'm not having a pop at hermione here but s/he used to be regarded as a bit of a joke by most people, although, admittedly s/he had the odd decent one-liner but was mainly notable for the goal-hanging..now s/he's a veritable comedy institution...and that hasn't come about through much more than the depletion of the opposition...and as for some of the other waddaya 'wags'...don't get me fuckin started.
white's thesis seems to imply that nobody should be banged for anything ever unless absolutely everybody who ever did that anything is also banged up.
ReplyDeletewhich would make police clear-up targets a bit of a binary issue...
Great poem swifty...
ReplyDeleteBB - Can't say I'll worry too much about Chaytor either. What pisses me off though is that there are others who'll get away with it because they have some very senior protection.
There was a point made on the Mark Thomas programme the other night that MPs - because they have legislative power and decide, for example where the 'cuts' will be made, should all have to use public services - ie, send their kids to state schools, use public transport and the NHS - no bailing out and going private. Things might be a bit different then.
now [Hermione]'s a veritable comedy institution...and that hasn't come about through much more than the depletion of the opposition
ReplyDelete'I coulda had class...I coulda been a contender'
Brush yourself off mate, she's My Family to your The Thick of It. Ratings don't equal quality.
If you're interested in wonderful street photography shot in Chicago from the 50's to the 90s this is worth a watch - it was posted on waddya - so it can be good for something after all. Its fabulous work of mainly ordinary people going about their business
ReplyDeleteVivian Maier, street photographer and nanny
Lovely vid of her pictures here
BB Glad that your other half is OK. It must have been very worrying.
ReplyDeleteThe 18 month term for Chaytor, I thought it was about right but what about the Margaret Moran who also took the piss. She made a handsome profit from all that house 'flipping'.
Just a rant coming up: BBC 6 News, spent a good portion of the prog talking about cricket. It drives me mad the way the BBC news is so 'lightweight'. I made a formal complaint about the Breakfast show which is a parody of 'Broken News' where the presenters share the lines. So one says '...and a 74' next one then says '7 plane...' etc. It is like a TV version of Woman's Own
Thanks everyone for the kind wishes about me fella - I will pass them on. Just raising a glass of New Zealand white to whichever of the forces in the universe are protecting him. :o)
ReplyDeleteMeerkatjie - I know! He is a great sparring partner.
BB, glad to hear your partner is ok - that must have been really scary!
ReplyDeleteJust heard this track from The Chakachas for the first time.Like it!Apologies in advance for the video.
ReplyDelete@BB-i'm glad your partner's on the mend.
"Someone else will now have to volunteer for the role of telling me I have a pole stuck up my arse now."
ReplyDeleteI'd have thought that was the kind of thing one would notice unaided, Meerkatje.
And yet, he felt the need for the almost daily reminder, martillo.
ReplyDeleteevening all
ReplyDeleteBB
glad the man is ok must be a relief for him, you and the lad........
Re simogen black and weed
what she smoked and posted that trite...? jesus imagine what she'd be like if she hadn't........
michael white should really retire......along with quite a few others
I'd rather have a czech up my arse than a pole.
ReplyDeletePreferably a big one.
Hmm...
Not as funny when I type it out...
Reminds me of when my boy says "things are never as good when they happen as you imagined them to be in your head..."
Hey gandolfo! Just in time for my really bad joke.
ReplyDeleteGod I'm glad it's Friday, even though I have some work to do this weekend. Friday nights used to be about clubbing til the sun came up. Now they are about a bottle of wine, feet up and cheesy telly. Old age is a marvellous thing.
I like the idea of the early morning parties they have in places like Barcelona though. People come home from work, go to bed, then get up about 4 or 5, get dolled up to the nines and go out clubbing at dawn. What a brilliant idea for tired old women like me :o)
gandolfo
ReplyDeleteOr, it could be argued that Imogen was as erudite as PeterGuillam and it was the skunk that made her post like that? :o)
Doesn't see, to have worked that way for others amongst us though...
BB
ReplyDeletehehe....
Imogen......in short no don't think it could be argued BB, sorry the evidence is stacked against her big time...also i could counter argue that skunk or whatever, normally makes people incoherently coherent...simogen was just bland, i mean can you seriously be that bland after smoking half your body weight daily yet still be capable of typing....?? the sums aren't adding up are they....
BB - Glad your other half is OK, enjoy the wine you deserve it! t must have been very scary.
ReplyDelete(Don't cry into it though - ruins the taste!)
'I coulda had class...I coulda been a contender'
ReplyDeletecoulda my arse...I was heavyweight champion of the universe...only Seaton, the Don King of CIF, nobbled me...got the Nevada State Commission to revoke my license on trumped up charges of spam abuse, brought in his own slap-happy puppets, matched them up with a bunch of southpaw poodles and called it a boxing match.
I can't even type this stuff drunk any more...the merest sniff of a bevvy has me gagging for a smoke...I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to drink again if I stay off the fags...not to mention the mound of flapjacks I've had to make to use up the last of the weed. Not smoking is seriously fuckin boring...and even if I did go back to the pub I'd never be able to make my excuses and nip outside for a quick drag when things were getting tedious...how the hell do people manage without cigarettes? I thought it was just a couple of months of self-denial and willpower etc...it's more like a fuckin personality change...being lobotomised is probably a safer option.
Thanks Anne
ReplyDeleteNo blubbing! :o)
gandolfo - tru dat.
They really don't like it on CiF when you post something about Marina Hyde's past doin' the jiggy with Piers Morgan. Like they're circling wagons or something.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call an Australian with a good bat?
ReplyDeleteA vet!
*badumching*
There, that was a bit better than my appalling play on words earlier, wasn't it?
The Hanman Five Year Plan is now becoming apparent. She's re-introduced a measure of Seaton's Provoke-Them-To-Post strategy (see: Biddy's Will-This-Do? For The Day and the return of Tanya Gold for commenters to sharpen their teeth on) and at the same time is turning BTL into a more inviting place.
ReplyDeleteIt's not coincidental that Jay and The Major have been sin-binned in quick succession. Nor that they generally seem inordinately fond of the naughty step for even the most minor of offences. The idea seems to be to dumb it down, calm it down and create an environment where the lurkers don't feel intimidated and feel freer to post. Out go the bruisers and the polemicists, those who rip contributors down and those who liven the place up. In come the agreers and the Mike Gigglers. If you've got nothing to say, say it here.
It's also not coincidental that as the nature of the place has come to resemble that of a Home Counties basket weaving group, Waddya has turned into a monster. If there's nothing worth responding to in the articles, let's just shoot the shit on the one regular thread.
I wonder how the long the likes of Red Miner will hang around when he realizes it's just one big middle-class circle jerk?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFuneral (Military) Blues
ReplyDeleteStop all the adverbs, cut off the traders phone,
Prevent Islamic terrorists from entering his demilitarized zone,
Silence Roxy Music and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the deluded left come.
Let NATO planes circle moaning overhead
Cluster bombing on the sky, P-Brax- his CiF account is dead
Put black crepe bows round the exhausts of powerful motorbikes,
Equivocate Islamic fascism with the Third Reich.
He was his own North, own South, own East and own West,
His trading week and his linen suited Sunday best
His noon, his midnight, his talk, his Bryan Ferry song
I thought muscular liberalist abuse would last forever: I was wrong
Liberal Intervention is not wanted now; stop every one
Pack up the troops and dismantle the fun
Pour away the chateau lafite and sweep up the abuse
No longer will he enrage and completely bemuse.
Ah, Peter Bracken. Sorry meerkatje, I'm catching up and that comment looked kind of strange...
ReplyDeleteGlad your partner's ok, BB.
And Happy New Year everyone. Back from a hectic festive season and household chore gubbins.
ReplyDeleteHi to martillo, Benulek, Duke and anyone else that we've not seen for a while.
ReplyDeletemonkeyfish
I've only cut down to 2 or 3 a day due to the flu; the other half has stopped smoking "cold pigeon" style, and has been pretty fucking objectionable ever since. I'm thinking of taking to drink ...
Gelukkig nieuw jaar, Your Grace.
ReplyDeleteThat and "dankuwel" makes up 80% of the words I know in Dutch. :o)
I would say welcome back your Grace, but this is the UT. So chew on my big cheesy chopper (not to be confused with The Brackenator's chrome-and-burgundy-leather Fat Boy). And welcome back.
ReplyDeleteBut they are not killing me
ReplyDeleteEr, they could be - aren't they linked to mouth or throat cancer?
Feck... are they?!
ReplyDeleteI better go and consult the great god Wikipedia about that, MsChin. :O
Oh dear...
ReplyDeleteTobacco Replacement Products Linked to Mouth Cancer
Right.
I'm f00ked then...
We're all f00ked together then, BB!
ReplyDeleteJij ook BB. And glad to hear your other half is fine.
ReplyDeleteCheers Eddie, nice to be back although I am disappointed Major B is offski.
patches...........???
ReplyDeleteLovin' the Patrick Blower livedraw - Coalition Cricket.
ReplyDeleteoh hope you had a good break duke and hi martillo..
ReplyDeleteRE
Thik you're right about the CiF cleansing of natters harmen......
Cifnic Cleansing? :o)
ReplyDeleteTried the patches right at the beginning, gandolfo, but - no sniggering at the back now - I really missed having something to do with my mouth, which is why I ended up with the lozenges.
ReplyDeletemmmmmmm........freud eh?!!!!?
ReplyDeletehow about this: werther's originals in the mouth...just you're teeth'll fall out but hey there's always falsies ......and a strategic patch;o)
cifnic cleansing.....like it
you're....what the f !!??
ReplyDeleteyour....
I think I might try just getting some small mints or something similar that takes a long time to dissolve, and see if I can wean myself off altogether without killing anyone... :o)
ReplyDelete"I thought muscular liberalist abuse would last forever: I was wrong"
ReplyDeleteThat was my favourite line.
I think it's interesting, the people who are determinedly *not* commenting on the Bracken demise. It does make you wonder who's been hitting that report button....
Unfknbelievable. I'm in PREMOD?
ReplyDeleteFOR WHAT?
The comment they removed was the one in which I criticised the use of PREMOD. I believe i said that we were all grown ups and didn't need to be pre-modded.
ReplyDeleteMeerkat? Premod? WTF?
ReplyDeleteMessage to mods.
ReplyDelete"I would very much appreciate a coherent explanation as to why I am now in premod.
To my knowledge I have not violated the terms and conditions. If you have placed me in premod simply for pointing out that I thought premod was an unnecessary aspect of moderation, then I believe this decision is beyond childish.
Incidentally, I've had next to no posts removed since joining the site, so to accelarate straight to premod for something so ridiculously trivial is, I believe, quite preposterous.
Regards"
Grr, and I was so cross my dyslexia's showing!
ReplyDeleteblimey meerkatjie..who did you upset!!??? cifnic pogrom
ReplyDeleteLooks like a repeat of the First CiF Cull which, in part, led to this site being set up ...
ReplyDeleteDefinite cifnic atrocities going on right now. WTF!
ReplyDeletedidn't see your post meerkatjie.........they're just being puerile now.......
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am gutted that Bracken has been banned from CiF. It might mean that the fucker posts here more often. Some may think he offers a refreshingly different viewpoint, a new angle on things.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't, he just says "I'm fantastic and you're all scum". It's all he does.
Honest to god, I've posted stuff where I've thought 'if they remove this, I guess that's ok'... But that was probably one of the most anodyne things I've ever posted. And I just had a quick look over my posting history - it's been weeks since I've had something removed. So basically, I've gone from 'no offences' to 'premod' simply for saying 'I don't think premod's a useful moderation too'.
ReplyDeleteMeerkatjie, whatever you, don't blink.
ReplyDeleteMind you my first post-premod post might have been ill advised:
ReplyDelete"I love moderation. I love moderators. I am a docile CIF user."
I guess that might not go down *very* well.
I wonder if Julian Glover's mother is on mod duties again?
Meerkatjie
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you are in general premod and it wasn't just on a thread where they are premodding every post? That sometimes happens.
Wotcha Habib.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best recent episodes of Dr Who evah, that "Blink!" one.
And re P-Brax - that's what makes him so entertaining!
No, it's on everything. The post above was on whaddya (submitted to premod) and I've just posted on the toynbee thread (same response).
ReplyDeleteIf they don't get back to me pretty soon, I'm just walking. I can't be arsed with this kind of silliness. I'm not going to have silly children putting me in premod for the crime of questioning the value of premod. I didn't even criticise moderation per se, ffs.
Meerk - if I may make so informal - Jay is in pre-mod just for complaining about deletions and one of CiF's finest, the late Lord Summerisle, was outright banned for arguing deletions on a Bidisha thread (which, as I've mentioned, is tantamount in CiF terms to skullfucking Bambi's dead eye sockets).
ReplyDeleteLord Summerisle was reinstated after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but then he wandered off anyway, probably fed up with all the bullshit that went with just trying to express an opinion. I've seen some very mild-mannered posters bludgeoned out of there with bans and pre-mod.
Pre-mod is the current weapon of choice. Just imagine moderators as Cartman screaming 'repect my authoritah!' and you'll get the general idea.
Oh and following on from Habib's advice, don't smile at them either as they interpret it as baring your teeth and are liable to attack.
I think Bitterweed holds the premod record - he's been in premod since October 2009, IIRC.
ReplyDeleteHello everyone; BB, glad to hear your other half is OK.
ReplyDeleteMeerkatjie: re moderation on CIF; why do you think so many of us jumped ship to this site?
Some one on "wadya" said earlier: "This site is going down the pan."
Well they were only about two years too late with that post....maybe they'll turn up on here quite soon!
That is so out of order, Meerkatjie. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteYou could go down the Jay route of asking them how long you are likely to be in the pokey - he is on a month's ban I think - and see what they say.
it looks like a deliberate cull doesn't it?
ReplyDeletePS Happy Birthday Jay.
PPS Happy not-found-anything-wrong-day BB's fella
Ha ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteWelcome to premod people. Last episode of mine started September 09. Still in operation apparently, despite mani emails. Glorious.
tim & meerkatjie
ReplyDeleteThe CiF cull is an annual event. Trust me, meerkat, you're in good company.
Hiya Bitters
ReplyDeleteOK, so I was a month out but you are the Champ when it comes to the premod endurance record!
I probably wouldn't mind if I'd said something exciting. At least I'd have the pleasure of notoriety. But this is a bit like Capone and tax evasion.
ReplyDeleteRemember the Free Woolly campaign?
ReplyDeleteI'm fascinated by bru's stalwart non-engagement with all things moderation. It's like the conversation's going on around her, but she just can't hear it...
ReplyDeleteI remember the Free Woolly campaign!
ReplyDeleteIsn't that how we ended up changing the name here to The Untrusted? Was it Brian Whitt or Seaton someone who wrote to someone about people being "untrusted" - lovely bit of Orwellian newspeak if ever I heard it...
Meerkatjie
ReplyDeleteWhat conversation about moderation is that? Is it operatic? Or fashion?
Here's Matt Seaton's view on why Jay was banned, courtesy of The Heresiarch
ReplyDeleteMeerkatjie -
ReplyDeleteIf you do end up leaving CiF (and who would blame you, what a stupid thing for them to have done), drop us a line if you feel like it. Email on my faculty page http://tinyurl.com/39dq7y4. Would really value your opinion on the porn piece, if you're still interested in reading it.
Meerkatjie,
ReplyDeletethere is definitely something going on round CiF towers. I think the skinny rib t-shirt, hoxton haircut SS death's head mod squad have been sent in on a mopping up mission.
Couple of interesting recent Dutch news items.
1. The Amsterdam chief of police has been under fire from Wilders and the PVV for remarks he made about the upcoming burqa ban. Bernard Welten said that his officers would not necessarily arrest women wearing the burqa adding that it is a waste of police time.
Sad state of affairs when its the coppers making sense.
2. Tax inspectors have been visiting prostitutes in Amsterdam's red light district this week to assess which income tax bracket they should be erm, inserted into.
This is the first year that prostitutes have had to pay income tax, previously paying other forms of tax.
The tax office have classed prostitutes for tax purposes as...wait for it..."hardworking freelancers".
Brilliant.
I am finding this very difficult.
ReplyDeleteI have so much sympathy with Meerkatjie, the mods acted like complete prats, and, I so want to PMSL - hopefully she wont see this post!
Chekhov, the whole pre-mod thing is an attempt to nudge and cajole CiF into what Hanman would doubtless characterize as more civilized discourse. Problem is, it's nothing of the kind.
ReplyDeleteOne of the joys of CiF when I joined - just two short years ago - was to read a BTL poster's tour de force dismantling of an ATL contributor. It was those 'Fuck yeah!' moments that made it all worthwhile as you read someone, passionately or forensically, ripping apart every piece of nonsense and hypocrisy in the latest Tablet of Islington Stone to be laid before us. Those days are gone.
Hanman's logic probably goes like this. If someone posts, they will refresh and return to the page much more often than if they just read through, if only to see if they've been responded to or affected the flow of the argument. Therefore if we widen the base of posters, we vastly increase the number of page hits. So anything that stops the bewitched, bollixed and bewildered lurker from joining the fray - vehemently argued opinion, a sound grasp of the subject etc., from other posters - has to go.
Meerk's sin was to point out the people behind the curtain pulling the levers.
@Meerkatjie; you don't have to say anything exciting. One sentence of common sense is enough to get you in "pre-mod"! That's the reason why it is such a sham.
ReplyDeleteHowever be careful what you say on here, you could get locked up in "Bitterweed's" loft for three days;-)
oops, she gave me the bird, I think she saw
ReplyDeleteHi Oroklini - I'd really like to read that piece, thank you. I'll drop you an email anyway.
ReplyDeleteSimmons, stop being smug, or you'll be sleeping in the dog crate tonight.
"hard-working freelancers" brilliant......
ReplyDeleteMeerk's sin was to point out the people behind the curtain pulling the levers
ReplyDeleteYep, Eddie, that just about sums it up!
the dogs would like that! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat interests me is how so many people try to intellectualize their arguments on CIF.
ReplyDeleteOne of the benefits of being a thick, like me, is that I can spot someone trying to pull the wool over my eyes from a hundred paces!
Pathetic stuff about Peter B and Meerkatjie. Just pathetic. But it's no surprise for a cull to follow another 'stop lurking' piece by Hanman.
ReplyDelete@Duke
I was saving this link for you when you got back; thought you might be interested if you haven't come across it before.
Timbo
ReplyDelete"I am finding this very difficult.
I have so much sympathy with Meerkatjie, the mods acted like complete prats, and, I so want to PMSL - hopefully she wont see this post! "
Do you actually like your testicles the way they are?
Only asking...
:p
chekhov
ReplyDeleteYou're not thick! Away with you!
Cor, Simon Hughes finally shows his principles
ReplyDeleteEvenin' all... swift drive-by as I feel like absolute shite, 5 days into being on the wagon and I feel like I've been run over :(
ReplyDeleteHaving decided there is no alcohol content in curry, it has not filled the wineglass shaped hole for which my soul yearns!!! Am pretty sure I've never felt this rough abstaining for a bit before? Curious.
Had a long day...
Just wanted to say BB - by the time you read this I reckon you'll be on the 3rd glass by now - you'll be getting fuzzy E face with the relief of it all in a minute if you don't watch it Missus.. heheheh. Truly, am very glad to hear all is well. xxxxx
As for CiF, it really is an absolute bloody bore. The only decent thing is Martin Rowson's and Steve Bell's cartoons.... threads are so swarmed with trolls and flamers, BTL and ATL - has anyone actually read the Simon Jenkins thread? It is fucking, fucking unbelievably fucking insulting and offensive.... I loathe that man.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSS>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now, calmer....
OK - Peter Bracken - I'm really sorry to hear about the pompous piece of pre-modding... it's like being told off by the Head Girl in the 6th form.....farcical. I do hope you don't stop posting here either, even if I have had a go at you, unfairly at times, you've never ripped me to shreds, I thank you for that.... you are still a decent fella underneath all the bluster methinks....
Am thinking of throwing in the towel there too... being a poster in the olden days was like being a bi-polar sufferer on a dramatic high... now it's all just a bloody miserable low as the Moderators and thought-police administer the Lithium conforming, tablets....the only thing that's stopping me, is the thought of having to go through my entire archive and copy it into something else, including all my clippings....it's as bad as my email inbox.
BB, if she doesn't corner me, I can run faster! :)
ReplyDeleteMeerkatjie:
ReplyDeleteAnd you as well???? Unblievable....
As Eddie pointed out so succinctly... it really is a middle class cricle jerk..... no proper personalities allowed.
Peter,
ReplyDeleteThey are magic, thanks for that I hadn't come across them before. They just reek of Dutch Golden age opulence don’t they? On the Leiden ones, I live to the north west of the city boundary on the map, other side of today’s railway station.
Rembrandt was from Leiden which reminds me of one of my all time favourite Viz top tips:
Dutch Masters. Try a little more light in your paintings. It's often difficult to see what's happening in the corners.
LaRit
ReplyDeleteThanks mate. x
Re being on the wagon - I have decided to be kind to myself and allow myself a couple of bevvies when it isn't a school night, which gives me another reason to look forward to the weekend. But I am off the sauce during the week - after the Christmas and New Year shenanigans I don't think my liver could take much more anyway...
Duke
ReplyDeletebrilliant..righteous stuff
...although tbh, I feel for Peter B...CIf really was his 'heimat' and indeed was mine for similar though crucially different reasons.
For him it afforded a space to vent his brand of abrasive certainty...I'm sure there are plenty who read Hitchens or Cohen (especially 'What's Left')...I'm assuming he has btw; wouldn't believe him if he denied it... and regarded their, admittedly persuasive, 'demolition' of the po-mo/ relativist/ 'Cultural Studies' Left as not only a call to arms, but a watershed which left a palimpsest that spontaneously abnegated not only cultural and moral relativism, but also, and significantly, any serious claim that there was an alternative to ongoing global capitalism...that collectivism, solidarity and class consciousness were deluded anachronisms.
He might well have been a small (OK medium) fish if he'd swum in the Telegraph pond...and, let's be honest about it..it's certainly where I feel a certain kinship with the guy, baiting middle class liberals is a fucking good laugh...although, baiting from the left is even more funnier.
That said, and this is why I sympathise with Hank, I always thought...was told from an early age, in fact, that liberals were as much the enemy as the right.
I can't honestly say I hate Tories. OK...I do, but not in the way I feel about the likes of, say, Toynbee and Blair. Tories are Tories; basically, they do what it says on the tin. I feel about Tories the way I'd feel about a pack of hyenas...obviously I'd want to exterminate them if they got too close or started fucking me about...and I certainly want to blast away at the moment, but it's not as though I bear them any personal animus...they're unthinking, rapacious scavengers.
They want the fuckin lot...imagine what the Savannah would look like if anyone ever gave the hyenas shotguns. The daft bastards wouldn't stop shooting till every living thing was meat, decaying, putrefying and stinking out the whole place...they'd be fat as fuck; not a thought for tomorrow or any other poor creature's feelings, and when they'd scooped the lot...what next? Kings of a fuckin charnel house...nice move. That's what NuLabour should have said; "every Tory vote hands a shotgun to a hyena"...only they didn't, cos they were a bunch of jackals who had their eyes on the Uzis.
The liberals, though...they're a different matter entirely...and I suspect deep down they know themselves for the appalling hypocrites they are...want it both ways...all the spoils of neo-liberalism..the nannies, the kids' cello lessons.. AND they can remain the good guys..side of the angels...and still get to snipe at the Tories for their crass individualism while sneering at the working classes for their tacky aspirations and anti-intellectualism...but they're entirely complicit, it was the Liberals who denied them a political voice by co-opting their party to the great cause of useful idiocy...driven by their consternation at the thought of sharing power with representatives of the great unwashed. Fuck em...and frankly fuck CIF...and now it seems everybody is getting banned, premodded etc, perhaps I can finally nail the myth that I was banned for persistant abusive behaviour...I wasn't...I was banned because I was one of a number of little boys and girls who kept screaming "that fat bastard emperor's got nothing on".
So if Chekhov is right and "they were only about two years too late with that post....maybe they'll turn up on here quite soon!"...I'm not gonna feel too self-indulgent in telling some of them just what I think; especially the ones who waited until I was banned to launch their grandstanding limp-wristed comebacks after I called them on their cap-doffing servility to the sentinels of their CCTV infested gated-utopia.
Fuck me, I want a cigarette and a drink and a spliff...and a job.
Glad you like them, Duke. I found it interesting that the long legacy of war had turned even small towns into forts surrounded by Vauban ramparts.
ReplyDeleteTimboktu
ReplyDelete"BB, if she doesn't corner me, I can run faster! :) "
♪ She sees you when you're sleeping
She knows when you're awake
She knows if you've been bad or good
So you better be good for goodness sake...♪
Muahahahahahah! *Vincent Price laugh*
Monkey:
ReplyDeleteWill a cyber cig, drink, spliff and a job do?
Can you pour me one too? I'm off the fags next.....
BB - ;) as someone posh said to me the other day... I think my liver has actually turned into Fois Gras....
ReplyDeleteDon't think I can take much more of this... there is a bottle of Brandy on the sideboard with a couple of snifters in.... no, no, no. NOOOOOOOOOO>..... I must resist!
I can see why Hanman wants lurkers, mind...if they were ever gonna cause her any trouble, let's face it, they wouldn't be lurkers...they'd have said something by now...can't believe anybody can consistently 'lurk' and not have had their piss boiled at some point.
ReplyDelete"That's what NuLabour should have said; "every Tory vote hands a shotgun to a hyena"...only they didn't, cos they were a bunch of jackals who had their eyes on the Uzis."
ReplyDeleteBloody brilliant. Seriously.
A few quick observation's on tonight's CiF clusterfuck and CiF generally.
ReplyDeleteThere seem to be more articles recently leaving CiF with fewer than one hundred comments under their belts. CiF Europe in particular seems to be tanking. Ditto specialist pieces on small countries in Africa and on the public transportation travails of minor Egyptian cities. The general consensus seems to be 'meh'.
Paywall dodgers are now a largely unmoderated force to be reckoned with. They post early and often, as it doesn't take much time to rehearse an argument that's been unchanged in your mind for 40 years and has been trotted out countless times at the golf club towards the end of the night.
CiF seems to like the paywall dodgers, as they're post whores and fond of the sound of their own clicks. Let their rants stand and they'll come again tomorrow. They might even bring their mates.
Rapid
ReplyDeleteQuick but good ... the paywall dodgers are inning the asylum now.
Bloody Mac - inning? I wrote RUNNING.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I see smellthecoffee is leaving CIF. What a shame. I'm not sure quite how it will get its usual quotient of utter banality midweek.
ReplyDeleteOh... wait....
MF - re lurking, I think I lurked for about a year before posting, then posted one or two things and ran away again. Took me a while to get the confidence to post regularly.
ReplyDeleteI imagine that it might be like that for a lot of people. They either think that it is very cliquey and are worried they will be viewed like a hair turning up on their bowl of soup, or are a bit overawed by some of the more visceral rebuttals - not to mention the downright fruit-loops.
I think that is probably an age thing, though. People in their 20s have, frankly, as adults never known any different. Oldies in their late 40s like me still think that the intarwebz is something to be taken v e r y s e r i o u s l y and it takes a while to understand how it functions, and how to interact online in a normal way.
Laters all my luvvers.... my head is about to pop!
ReplyDeleteWorking all weekend, but will try to get into the swing if I can xx
Did you get the latest software update MsC? Usually it's a few tweaks under the hood, but this time it installed an App Store icon in the dock. I'd remove it only there are actually a few interesting bits of kit in there. Knowing Jobs you still have to give them your credit card number just to download the freeware.
ReplyDeleteThat and the current Rapid Other has promised me an iPhone4 for my birthday and I find myself strangely fascinated by absolutely pointless apps. It's all fiendishly mind-warping. Just as well I'm broke.
!"...I'm not gonna feel too self-indulgent in telling some of them just what I think; especially the ones who waited until I was banned to launch their grandstanding limp-wristed comebacks after I called them on their cap-doffing servility to the sentinels of their CCTV infested gated-utopia.
ReplyDeleteBring it on "Monkeyfish".
It's a bit of a stretch to make the transition from CIF to this site; I "ummed and ahhed" about it for a while but I'm so glad I made the switch.
Regardless of the posts..good or bad.. they aren't censored which is just another term for "MODERATION"and that is what stinks about CIF.
Rapid
ReplyDeleteTechnophobe that I am, you're gonna have to explain ... please, I beg you!
Oh the crocodile tears being shed hear tonight for Peter Bracken and Meerkatjie are really both pathetic and hypocritical to the extreme.
ReplyDeleteHere is the list of those who post here who have at some time exposed posters to the CiF moderators, in the full knowledge that this would lead to a banning and more importantly a strengthening of the moderators' position.
JayReilly, BeautifulBurnout, thaumaturge, MontanaWildhack, turminderxuss, RapidEddie, Gigolo, sheffpixie, shazthewombat, NormanHadley, backtothepoint, heyhabib, PhilippaB, LaRitournelle.
I'd like to say a hall of infamy, but that would be crediting them with more importance than they deserve.
@MsChin
ReplyDeleteDo you have 'check spelling while typing' and 'correct spelling automatically' turned on? Look in the Edit menu, under Spelling and Grammar.
Nice one, monkeyfish, I enjoyed that.
ReplyDeleteCan I just fix this bit for you? Just a sec, nearly there, stand still and don't fidget. Here we go -
perhaps I can finally nail the myth that I was banned for persistant abusive behaviour...I wasn't...I was banned because they found out that I was a fat Scouse git who used to sell the Socialist Worker in Deptford.
I'll bet that that particular revelation sent shudders of distaste and revulsion round the dinner tables of Islington like a tsunami in a well-stocked Smeg fridge. Your card was marked then, mate. Nothing to do with what you said. You were just collateral damage in the Cif editorial war against informed opinion, interestingness and a sense of humour.
btw, I'd love to love wishy-washy liberals. I wish I could be one. But I can't.
PS here's one for absent friends taxman
PeterJ
ReplyDeleteAh, cheers - have turned them both off now.
You know, bitey, I'm a bit hacked off at being put in premod, but basically it's because it's such a stupid overreaction to a completely innocuous post.
ReplyDeleteBut realistically, in 12 months time, I won't still be hanging around whining about it.
Can you see the difference between you and I? Indeed between you and Peter? It's that pesky perspective thing. You should try it. It's liberating.
scherfig
ReplyDelete"You were just collateral damage in the Cif editorial war against informed opinion, interestingness and a sense of humour".
Brilliant, as ever. And the final point is exactly why BTH doesn't cut the mustard.
Now where's hank?
You're not thick! Away with you!
ReplyDelete@BB; that's your opinion. Anyway whether I'm a bit thick or not is not really the issue.
I just find adopting the position of not knowing anything gets a better response, whereas telling everyone you are an expert on everything gets a totally different traffic!
"But realistically, in 12 months time, I won't still be hanging around whining about it.".
ReplyDeleteOh ho. Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho.... oh ha ha ha ha ha ha .... ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HAHHAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!
HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!
Chekhov, you are to thick what montserrat caballe is to kate moss.
ReplyDeleteCHECKHOV
ReplyDeleteshut the fuck up about the loft thing. ok.
Oh no tears being shed hear(sic) tonight for Bitey
ReplyDeleteHeresiarch - if you're watching from a safe distance:
ReplyDeleteWe couldn't interest you in Bitethehand, could we? He's an uber-troll of the rank order and would be good company for WML.
Could you throw something in as a sweetener, Ms Chin? What about a poster sized glossy of Bracken on his bike?
ReplyDeleteBW
ReplyDeleteWhat l*ft? I only have a cellar ...
Meerkatjie
ReplyDeleteHave to think about that, very carefully. And v e r y s l o w l y.
And please don't put Tim in the dog house. I quite like the old git.
Top left, MsC. Click on the Apple icon and go to "Software Update" on the drop down menu. Click on it. It will install the latest fixes (about 200MB in size).
ReplyDeleteThen it tells you to restart. When you do, this time - instead of getting things running a bit more smoothly as is usual after a software update - it's installed a new icon in your dock at the bottom of the screen. It's probably second from the left, just next to your 'Finder' icon.
Click on the App Store icon and there are oodles of software programs for you to buy - for your Mac, your iPod Touch, iPhone etc. Like most things Apple do, the App Store is annoyingly seductive. Fuck you Steve Jobs, haven't you got enough of my money? The plan I think is to have just about every piece of Mac software in one place. You can read it as damned handy for users or control freakery by Apple. Probably a bit of both.
You can skip the current software update I suppose, but I suspect they'll just sneak it in the next time.
One for the Untrusted
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB42I5PO5_4
monkeyfish,
ReplyDeleteThe liberals, though...they're a different matter entirely...and I suspect deep down they know themselves for the appalling hypocrites they are...want it both ways...all the spoils of neo-liberalism..the nannies, the kids' cello lessons.. AND they can remain the good guys..side of the angels...and still get to snipe at the Tories for their crass individualism while sneering at the working classes for their tacky aspirations and anti-intellectualism...but they're entirely complicit, it was the Liberals who denied them a political voice by co-opting their party to the great cause of useful idiocy...driven by their consternation at the thought of sharing power with representatives of the great unwashed.
Amen. You've hit the truth more relentlessly the last 6 months than Phil Taylor has hit treble twenties.
I don't want to come across as some kind of saddo fanboy here but seriously, you should at the very least have some kind of blog going. Pure gold.
It's a cellar's market I guess...
ReplyDeleteSorry. Bit pished.
ReplyDeleteLord Summerisle was reinstated after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but then he wandered off anyway, probably fed up with all the bullshit that went with just trying to express an opinion. I've seen some very mild-mannered posters bludgeoned out of there with bans and pre-mod.
ReplyDeleteDoubless having crawled back to acceptance and out of pre-mod, he realised he had more self-respect than Jay, (who adopted the same strategy), and accepted that living with a tainted reputation was mistake.
"Here is the list of those who post here who have at some time exposed posters to the CiF moderators, ..."
ReplyDeleteNo Bitey. It's a list of those who post here who have, at some time, exposed YOU to the CiF moderaters, either directly or obliquely, because you are a tosser.
Ciao for now. Looozah!
Chekhov, you are to thick what montserrat caballe is to kate moss.
ReplyDeleteIs that a compliment?
Ok Bitters.. time to call an end to the "loft" gag...it wasn't really that funny anyway!
Duke, don't hide yer light under a bushel. You've matched those easily yerself boyo. As has Hank. The bastard.
ReplyDelete@chekhov
ReplyDeleteFair enough...
Anyone seen Bitey ?
Hey, Bitty! I made it into your list of people you don't like? Most honoured, Bitty :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, it's definitely a compliment, Chekhov.
ReplyDeleteMF, I have always thought 'liberal' was a dirty word, an insult. And as for the likes of Blair, the libdems ... well, they're wolves in sheep's clothing, aren't they?
I've already started the 'how will I vote' crisis. This usually only really starts to prick about a year before a general election.
Cheers, Rapid! I'll do that tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteGood job I don't have a credit card ...
Duke
Seconded.
Bitters
Bit stoned here, but I like your sense of humour.
Chekhov
A compliment, you daft tw*t
BB - NN.
Wotcha Scherfig. Long time no see. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteChekhov - I took that to be a compliment to you.
BW - I am a tad TELPed* mesself now. Just glad they won't have to cut through my beloved's sternum with a fucking saw and stick his heart in a bucket again. Not sure how he would have coped with that the second time around...
"Doubless having crawled back to acceptance and out of pre-mod, he realised he had more self-respect than Jay, (who adopted the same strategy), and accepted that living with a tainted reputation was mistake. "
Tainted reputation? You really are out there where the buses don't run, aren't you Bitey? Twat.
*Tired and Emotional, Lost the Plot
"can't believe anybody can consistently 'lurk' and not have had their piss boiled at some point. "
ReplyDeleteYou should meet my old keyboard player. He went to certain London clubs for this specific reason.
This might interest some of you.
ReplyDelete{a href="http://www.edu-factory.org/wp/for-a-new-europe-university-struggles-against-austerity/"}Edufactory{/a}
habib
ReplyDeleteThe roll of the honoured, eh. Are you a Big Cheese now?
Hi mschin. Regarding old bitey not having a sense of humour - well, he makes me laugh anyway. (As did the galloping Major). I really like BTH's unshakeable belief that he is a sea-green incorruptible who dares to speak truth to power, and his tireless insistence that he is always right. He's quite similar to Peter in that respect, and indeed he has defended Peter several times when all others were calling the sweet-natured, always polite, and frequently misunderstood Major B seventeen shades of despicable scum.
ReplyDelete"Oh no tears being shed hear(sic) tonight for Bitey"
OK, timbuktuto, I'll step up to the plate for bitey (creepy stalking excepted) and also Peter. Strange as it may seem to some here, both of them have actually been right about things occasionally when most everyone conveniently chose the path of the 'deluded' (©BrackenTradingBermudaplc). Why should they be actively or passively silenced for not toeing the 'party line'? That's what happened to monkeyfish and others on Cif. Do you want it here as well?
But my link didn't work. Sorry about that.
ReplyDelete