I don't know why the font's different today. I don't know why it looks bold. I don't know why the image that I wanted to use today wouldn't post. I don't know why this one would.
I do know that I get off work 2 hours early today and that I have a 4 day weekend ahead of me.
The cauldron of Dibley-ish (thanks, monkeyfish) inanity that is WADDYA rarely amuses me much; however, the Grauniad's pet Welsh/Jewish/Muslim/Zoroastrian/Radical Lesbian/Transgendered/Eritrean/goat-herding guitar prodigy, MurrayInEaling is rapidly becoming something of a comedy goldmine:
"If you think you can libel me on Cif, without redress, then you have another thing coming.
Come on, put up, or shut up. I'm fine either way. My solicitor will be happy."(cue: Perry Mason Theme Tune)
"Remember when we used to agree with each other, before I went ATL, and before I knew of UT, or any of that stuff?
I didn't change. You did." (cue: very ancient and creaky violin playing 'Hearts and Flowers')
MarvinInEpping is a nasty, meretricious little kiss up-kick down sort; a pompous, sycophantic blowhard and posturing faux-left fantasist: he deserves everything he gets, the shifty, whining little scrub.
Don't give up, please. Enjoy the break and just watch the residents of Dribbly squabbling and spilling food down their fronts.
jack cade
Sorry, I'm finding it hard to catch your drift there.
Is MarionInEwell a coagulated clump of semi-dried sputum and snot or one of the finest minds the world has ever seen?
Don't feel you have to hold back. Just tell it like it is.
Meanwhile, in today's episode of Ask the Internet... we try to determine what it is about the Chezza Mini-Me, Cher Lloydd, which is so odd.
Is it the fact that Chezza-Me's name is the same as, er, Chezza's, if you slur it?
Is it the fact that her face seems to be divided into autonomous regions, which never agree with each other what to do, so it looks like a bag of squirming cats?
Is it the fact that she is so desperate to be famous that she is prepared to become the clone of someone else by proxy?
@atomboy- "Don't feel you have to hold back. Just tell it like it is."
Thanks for the encouragement. However, I don't really feel that it's my place to pass judgment on my moral and intellectual superiors like MobiusInEsterhazy...or penisthingy (who despite his endless self-puffery as an intellectual titan, has evidently never come to grips with the Argument From Authority Fallacy). ...sigh...duh...snigger...whateva...I'm off to the shops...byeeee).
bit traumatised by the footage of it trying to escape while being attacked by a giant hoover, but suppose you can't make a scientific-discovery-omelette without annoying some floaty-squid-thing-eggs...
Have to agree with Banksia on the thread below that article, where's the link to the peer-reviewed scientific article? I put the scientific name Teuthidodrilus samae into web of science and google scholar and got nothing! (which could just mean the article's so new it's not in their databases, but if that's the case, without knowing which journal, I can't find it!)
I don't really feel that it's my place to pass judgment on my moral and intellectual superiors...
Yes, I see what you mean but there is also some kind of need to trap the essence of some of these media moguls and titans.
Obviously, not using the glass-horn-hoover method which sucks in baletically-wriggly squid-worms from grazing on the dead sludge at the bottom of the sea.
It's just that we do get an impression of what people are like from the way they present themselves in the media, hence the question about Chezza-Me.
The international political analyst, SpecialBrut, for example, always makes me think of someone who read the edited highlights of the Ladybird Books series on the kings and queens of Europe, capital cities of Europe, opera and ballet in Europe etc and then forgot most of the salient points.
Since Montana mentions Kurt Vonnegut at the top of the page, it might be worth remembering his warning: "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be."
Note to self: eat more fish.
Actually, squid-worms have now taken over from cod and chips amongst the smart set.
Great picture Montana - that did make me smile when I saw that .
@ Spike:
I have a confession to make (Being an atheist, I don’t know if it is at all due to the religious banter on here lately),
I have gone back to the ‘Tiles’, and I am now a ‘Woman Beater’.
I know, I know…. But the force was too great; you know the ‘high’ resulting from the use of all seven letters to make ‘returned’ and the adrenalin rush that ensues with 60 points in the bag, then the ‘lows’ when your opponent puts the ‘Q’ on a triple letter and scores 56 with the adjoining word….. The ebb and flow, the tactics, trying to manipulate your opponent into leaving a half chance at a Triple Score.
The gamut of emotions you have to endure at the end when your adversary tells you: ‘You’ve lost by one point’.
It may not, however, be suggested that my opponent used to do the calculations for MP’s expenses….. An Audit ensued…. Hah, an error indeed found, with the resultant score….338 v 335.
At last I am back in the land of the winning...
Should I give up now, knowing my adversary is highly skilled in the use of the English/French vocabulary or plough on regardless?
I know you have other predilections on your mind at the mo. , my only meagre advise on that matter would be not to take sides, and be there if either friend is in need, as I have had to do in the same situation in the past.
LaRit - the rescue team's tests of the atmosphere suggests so - just hope that they were already dead (know that sounds horrible, just...to have survived, and been trapped, and been waiting, and hoping, only to then...). Horrible.
I must admit, I hoped so too... but I looked at the photos of their families..... that terrible, stumbling, immediate, grief that hits like a train and I just felt incredibly sad for them ;(
Have had a quick skim read of Prof Harrington's report on the ESA Atos/DWP/ Work Capability Assessment in practice.......
I don't read it as a complete White Wash - he gives credibility to many of the real complaints/concerns voiced by claimants.
True he doesn't (at first read) address the elephant in the room - where are the fucking jobs that are going to be so good for the long term health of those vast numbers refused ESA? (not in terms of reference of course but still worth a note in passing on a scheme that is costing 100's of millions)
A careful reading (of some parts) suggest he is clear that DWP civil servants ( decision makers) are under pressure to uncritically accept Atos recommendations as gospel. The deviance rate ie a DWP decsion maker not accepting the Atos "advice" is only 2%!!!
He's raised enough questions to probably see himself replaced by someone more pliable in due course - watch the space and read the report ( links on yesterdays UT from Paul/me and waddya Redminer)
Yes, deano, hard workers die working, while the jokers who think they do an important job in finance and banking get to make a bit less money in hard times.
All my thoughts and sorrow for the miners' families.
Would like to think and believe that there is a glimmer of hope for those miner's in NZ.
I got the impression the rescue attempt was deemed futile from the outset, but now with a second explosion ripping the guts out of the mines innards, and no direct ventilation route for spent gas. Haste will not be the word used in attempting a rescue, especially as those men rescuing will be in even more danger from further explosions !
You're playing bilingual - English AND French? I'd sneakily insist that the rules only cover one language at a time if that disadvantages your opponent.
* * *
So bitey's new ID seems to be Hyaline. Meaning "transparent" or "gristle"?
Y'know, @atomboy, I can't help feeling that my unseemly sneering at MolotovInEnfield bears the taint of jealousy. His latest wheeze...
"What about a peoples panel on "What time do you wake up".
...bears the stamp of genius. If only I could be so inspired. Perhaps if I took up the guitar? Or Judaism? Or goat-herding? Perhaps I too could be a contender, instead of the pitiful, seedy, shambling wreck of a man that you see today. Am I just a crazy dreamer?
I did a quick skim read through Prof Harrington's report - thank you (and Paul) - I do actually keep copies of all of that type of stuff - sad or what - definitely it makes me feel sad to spend too much time looking at that type of material.
The paper isn't too much of a cover up for sure, BUT exactly how much notice do we imagine anyone is going to take of it?
Seems like they sent a different paper to the Grayling, who I saw on the news at the same time declaring how it showed that what the DWP (through Atos) were doing was fit for purpose, and just needed a bit of improving - which probably means finding a way of making it even nastier.
It wouldn't matter what the report said - they'd still carry on with doing what they're doing.
How I wish I could wave a wand that would remove from them their health and wealth and security and make them reliant on the lies of someone like themselves, and maybe then they'd really understand what they're doing.
The thought of being trapped and dying underground is appalling - I hope that those unfortunate miners were able to die quickly.
The difficulty is, perhaps, that the Chilean mine rescue gave us a distorted picture of the likely outcome of such events.
Unfortunately, the likelihood of dying is much greater than being heroically, dramatically rescued.
jack cade
Am I just a crazy dreamer?
There is a scale and perspective in all things.
You will probably never bore the world shitless with 18 000 comments which squeal and grind and shudder with the noise of the writer's brain crunching and stripping its gears, like MiriamInMonrovia.
'What time do you wake up?' What a thrilling peoples panel that would be, to be followed by the exciting subject of 'Tea or Coffee, which do you prefer?' or even 'Tell us about your dreams'. ;)
Tragic news about the miners in NZ, mining has got to be one of the scariest jobs possible, I really wouldn't want anyone I knew to work below ground, so dangerous.
Sandhurst-trained officers leave the army to go and work for £25k in sink estate schools, rebuilding disciplne, respect and responsibility in communities previously shattered by, er unfettered capitalism of New Labour.
loveintheslammer - we prefer to call you trolls, petal.
Sandhurst-trained officers leave the army to go and work for £25k in sink estate schools, rebuilding disciplne, respect and responsibility...
Sounds like a job for the Brackenator, if the world of day-trading and Ponzi schemes ever collapses around his ears.
His army career was probably more to do with clip-boards and lecterns and PowerPoint displays than anything which made a bigger bang than a fused light-bulb.
It must be hard to take on the unruly internet when delivering your wisdom was previously a one-way conversation with acne-riddled youths who had to call you "Sir" as they filed out after another stultifying lecture.
As I'm at home and got a bit of time on my hands, I thought I would run through yesterdays thread to find:
90% of the posts there for some reason are directly and indirectly connected with this site This site being I suppose WTFyTA.
What I in fact found was that around 65 from 284 of yesterdays posts mentioned a site on the Guardian. Not all of those 65 were linked to WTFyTA, as some linked to other threads that may have been of interest to posters over here. I didn't include Bitey's regurgitations, as they are directed at posters on here.
@tascia Actually one of the founding tennets of the UT is to rip the piss out of that camp of lame, fawning and vague happy-clappys.
But as only a percentage here actually adhere to that tennet (preferring as they do for it to be a continuation of commentary on threads and the odd jibe at editorial policy), then it's probably even fewer who take the militant stance on it.
They clearly make an impression. I don't CiF anymore so rarely look at it, but the thickos over in Dibley really do seem to get in a bate about the UT even exisiting.
Hence the hilarous puffed up trolling over here.
Life's a cycle I guess. Dine at the UT. Shit at WTFyTA.
Hey chekhov, how's it going dahn sarf ??? Got a rough eta yet old buddy ?
A dinosaur would be good, but it’s actually a thesaurus of profanities. Originally penned by Roger Mellie (The Man on The Telly), but now compiled mostly from the submissions of ever-inventive (and foul-mouthed) Viz readers…
Ahhh! home at last and just had a quick squiz at Dribley. Not much sign of intelligent life as per. And as for us organising skirmishes and raiding parties? Why the hell would we do that? The raiding seems to be the other way round and bitey has actually moved in! think I'll give it a miss as I used, except for passing on Mr Selfmade's missives.
Turm - thanks for that folkie link - will check it out now.
I'm rather hoping that Roget's Tyrannosaurus eats the linen-draped, FSA-convicted, concrete-brained pride of the Catering Corp, P. Bracken, DSO, Bar and Restaurant.
"You're dead, deceased, fucked, hosed, knackered, screwed, meat, lunch, history, an ex-City fraudster, the late Che Guevara of Cheam, former Andreas Baader of Bond St., dished, done, filed, etc etc....chomp"
You've got to feel for the saurian...Blairite toadies always give me indigestion. Poor Bracken. Despite his signal gaucherie, I suspect the poor bastard Just Wants To Be Loved.
America is stomping around the moonscape of Afghanistan trying to do the right thing, but we can’t because we’re clueless about the culture to the point where we can be faked out by an imposter masquerading as Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, a high-level Taliban commander.
heh..heh..heh..Jack. i know what you mean - but he's actually quite passable IRL as others will testify and knows how to get a round in. However don't let that get in the way of your flow.
The DGs also employed a number of experts seconded from some aid-recipient countries or NGOs and many European experts used to working in the field.
I’ve also spent many years donating to various aid agencies and believe me, they know before any Western government when a humanitarian crisis is about to explode.
Later in a law firm my immediate boss was a man who is now one of the Deputy Directors-General of the WTO. We actually had a great deal of contact with that organisation at the time.
Of the four current WTO DDG's the following looks favourite:
Since 1995, Mr. Yerxa has been a practicing lawyer. He spent three years as a Brussels-based partner in a major U.S. law firm, where he represented U.S. clients on European regulatory matters and international trade
Careful Ms Brusselsexpats we are close to locating and naming you as timewaster of the year. Three more phone calls and four emails should do it.
Please don't let all this foolishness with the former UT ers now holding court on Waddya piss you off to the extent you want to close this place down.FWIW i was getting bemused to the point of beginning to question my own sanity.But no more.The problem is firmly with those wwho have a grievance with this place.And if a regular here is guilty of fanning the flames by feeding ammunition to the 'aggrieved' then try not to take it personally For that person-if s/he actually exists-is nothing more than a sad shitcunt who needs to seriously get themselves a life.:-)
Corporal Deano..I want you to take Privates Sheff, Chin and Bittweed down to B & Q and pick up 200 4 metre lengths of 2 x 4, 800 6ft fence panels and a big bag of nails
Sgt Wildhack..you, Turminder and Chekhov need to get hold of some scaffolding and find an old warehouse with a ceiling at least 80 ft high
Capt Atomboy..I want you to come up with some blueprints for a fuckin big horse with a compartment in its belly which can hold at least 20 deranged subversives...oh yeah...and some wheels
Here's the plan...we build the horse, climb inside...Deano tows us up to the gates of Waddya and delivers a letter which announces we've seen the error of our ways, surrender unconditionally and as a token of our regret and esteem, we have built a fuckin big horse to honour the integrity, indefatigably and sheer brilliance of all the Waddaya regulars...then..when they tow it inside...we wait until nightfall then, when they're celebrating their 'victory', we sneak out...kill every man woman and child and take over the thread...can't fail.
Once we're in charge we demand the immediate disbandment of the world-wide neo-con hegemony...declare CIF a socialist republic and demand free beer for life for the whole 'raiding party', an end to the smoking ban and demand Self Made Man gets poster of the year and a Nobel prize for Literature
OK...fall out...we'll meet back here at 2100...bring a torch
"And if a regular here is guilty of fanning the flames by feeding ammunition to the 'aggrieved' then try not to take it personally For that person-if s/he actually exists-is nothing more than a sad shitcunt who needs to seriously get themselves a life.:-)"
erm...feeding ammunition?..what's all this about? Can't deny I do like to fan the flames...even drop the occasional burning fag onto the odd convenient petrol 'spillage'...and sometimes I might have gone out after leaving all the gas on...then again I have openly stated that I'm on a mission to destroy the place by continually spreading discord...mind you, it's not exactly difficult..what with all the well-balanced, fiercely intelligent individuals who populate the thread.
Tip to all on Waddaya...if you wish all the bickering to stop, just apply the following principles:
a) ditch the paranoia b) accept that you're not remotely as smart, interesting or in control of your emotions as you think c) accept that just as long as you ignore the hypocrisy inherent to the place...there will always be people coming along (generally well-meaning and intentioned people) who will raise the matter...they're not class warriors with a chip on their shoulder...they're just principled and sick of the bullshit...and just maybe..the fact that so many of you instantly attack such people perhaps means you've become a bit too comfy, complacent and complicit...note the frequent use of 'intruders' (sic) or 'interlopers' (sic) or 'imposters' kinda indicates a proprietorial attitude which is totally out of place on a public thread...you seem to think you own the place d) lastly...just be cool, circumspect and in some notable cases less arrogant...and in one notable case...stop bullshitting about your background
Easy...shouldn't be a problem (duh)...so if you can all manage this...I'll look a right idiot...and will have wasted my time...fat fuckin chance
I'm afraid I have to keep shooting out and coming back, so I have only just seen the details of the cunning plan and do not have much time to knock up the blueprint.
Here's a quick one in case it will help to get things moving until I can find my pencil-case.
I may also be able to get hold of some upside-down cake and a bottle of lemonade, but that's not a promise.
...we'll meet back here at 2100...
Has anyone got a conversion chart to turn this back into old money?
That wasn't a swipe at you.Jim Press left a post for Montana on waddya stating that he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here.And Montana felt like she was being stabbed in the back.:-)
evening all! also got off work early as most of the US seems to be refusing to answer the phone in preparation for Thanksgiving. So i think it is only fair that i also pass on my gratitude to the turkey.
Paul "Jim Press left a post for Montana on waddya stating that he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here" because just coming here and reading it would be too difficult? we didn't relocate to a hollowed-out volcano when I wasn't looking, did we?
Why would someone be feeding JimPress info on what is happening here, is he unable to read?
The easy way to find out what those beasts on the UT are planning (I'm not planning anything by the way) is to bring up the page and read the words on it.
Montana..."he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here"
Met??..sorry Montana...oldest trick in the book..."yeah but we've got a sleeper inside your organisation"..pure fuckin invention...means of spreading paranoia...just like when I was pretending I wasn't meercat..
I know it sounds really far-fetched .I was involved in a spat with Andalusia's finest in the early hours and Jim Press left a message for Montana on waddya saying that he'd met a poster from here etc etc.Obviously it could be a wind up.Or maybe i've gone totally mad and imagined the whole thing.
Assumed that's what Montana was referring to when she told Leni she felt stabbed in the back and was thinking of packing this place in.
"It's a conundrum, when I've glanced at the UT it seems to be made up of overwhelmingly nice and decent people, but, for whatever reason, it also attracts a minority of people who are distinctly, ahem, troubled."
I'll leave you to argue over who's who. And who's the sneak.
Just seen the news. Lots of 15 year old kids are kettled in Whitehall in the freezing cold.
Makes me sort of glad I could not get down there. As it happens, the bloody volunteer who was supposed to be coming in for an interview this morning never turned up so I could have taken the morning off after all.
it seems to be made up of overwhelmingly nice and decent people, but, for whatever reason, it also attracts a minority of people who are distinctly, ahem, troubled."
Much like anywhere else then, so what's the fuss about?
@Sheff picking up titbits is how I started. "I can handle it" I said... now I'm a howling drunk bastard who loathes and mistrusts anyone to the right of Engels. Or something.
OK so you think you know the true horror of the impending Royal Nuptials?
Not unless you are me. I just realised today what I may be in for.
I got a phone message from a company that does shows for older people and they are already advertising one about Royal Weddings.
That is not the thing though. It just made me realise that the old people I work with are almost certain to demand that I organise a Royal Wedding celebration for them.
The timing is interesting. My project is funded until the end of March and we will be lucky to escape being slashed. So if we fall victim to the cuts this year we will probably finish at the end of March...
Just in time to save me from the horror.
So maybe there will turn out to be an upside to ConDem slash and burn after all!
I know, I know, I am being selfish. But can you imagine having to organise a Royal Wedding party? Union Jacks, pictures of Prince Watshisname and Whateverhernameis... Aaargh!
You realize those old timers will guilt trip you like crazy.'This could be the last Royal Wedding i'll be around to see..etc etc.' It's a pity 'Challenge Anneka' Or 'Jim'll Fix It' ain't still going cos you could have asked them to sort out the party for you.
Seriously though i hope you keep your job.And if it's any consolation those working with the elderly should in the long term see more employment opportunities arise as the post war baby boom generation reires.
Yeah, thauma, I might wriggle out of it. But if I did I would have a very bad conscience. It is my job and I have made a big deal about getting the elderly members to have a say in what we do.
See where fucking democracy can get you?
There is a possible out though, which is "the St Patrick's day gambit." We sometimes do a Burns Night and a couple of years ago we had a St George's day celebration. There are a fair few Irish people and some asked about St Paddy's. But I didn't do it because in our part of London there are literally dozens of St Patrick's day parties. You could not get a fiddledeedee band for a pot of leprechaun gold, though giant foam Guinness hats are everywhere.
So though I would be only too happy to organise a St Patrick's day do if we were somewhere else, it would be completely redundant here. There is even one specifically for older people in the area organised by the Irish equivalent of our scheme which covers our area.
And the Royal Wedding (I would fear, and possibly also hope) would be like St Patrick's day squared. If every sheltered housing unit, local church, community group and half the streets are organising parties it would just be silly for us to do one in competition with all the others.
That is going to be my line anyway... that might work... deep breaths... deep breaths...
Paul "if it's any consolation those working with the elderly should in the long term see more employment opportunities arise as the post war baby boom generation reires."
Thanks Paul, but it isn't really. I am fairly burnt out and was all ready to do something else before the job market curled up and died. The problem with working with the elderly is that the old buggers keep dying on you, often after you have got to know them and like them, and it is really starting to get to me.
People just don't get better form old age.
But I have worked with some of these people for 10 years and I really wanted to leave the project healthy and in good hands, not go because it was being wound up as a result of the cuts.
Kettling becomes containment, don't you just love the Met's PR department? I wonder what the next word is going to be, something sweeter, something nicer... erm...
Fact is, whatever they call it, they're abusing human rights (if you believe in any of us having any, that is).
Hmmm... however did I guess that you would have..?
I suspect that they are indistructable and as more get produced every year we will eventually be buried under an enormous pile of them. In this part of London, anyway.
Habib, what a sexist thing to say. I'm sure a small but significant portion of the Met are "unreal women".
Just wait until a selection of them and spike-hooved police mares 'cuddle' you when you next happen to become involved in a demo, voluntarily or involuntarily.
Apparently the Palin woman has said - "We must stand by our North Korean allies." You'd think someone would have briefed her properly but given the NYT piece earlier, I suppose one shouldn't be too surprised.
Spencer - what a bind to be in - you have my sympathy.
"Just wait until a selection of them and spike-hooved police mares 'cuddle' you when you next happen to become involved in a demo, voluntarily or involuntarily."
Careful, Thauma, you'll excite Bitey.
Paul, I do like "empathetic containment" - buddhist riot police?
Seriously it gets worse.According the the London Standard Michael Gove has announced that ex soldiers are to be drafted in to maintain discipline in the classroom.Just what any squaddie recovering from post traumatic stress needs.A spell in a 'problem' comprehensive with crap teachers,surly parents and out of control kids.
_____________________________ a message from Clare Solomon president of University of London Union "We're still illegally kettled in the freezing cold on Whitehall. No food, water or toilets despite what the lying police are telling the media. Thousands of young people needing to go home. Plz spread the word and make complaints to whoever u can. Not ...sure what else to say.."can folks call :New Scotland Yard on : 0300 123 1212
AB - definetely up for the horse job - have the saddle and bridle ready Sarge.
re kettling - I do sympathise as have been in similar situations myself but they might as well find out the reality of what they/we're up against. Kettling will seem like paradise in comparison with what we might be facing in the not to distant future. It's crap if you need a pee though
Phoned that number, Timboktutu, people are being released "bit by bit, for health and safety reasons" they don't have access to food, water or sanitation.
Made a point about how quickly Old Trafford can be emptied, but the poor fella on the line sounded awfully harassed.
It's going to radicalise some of them Sheffpixie - but also being an old dude with kids myself my normally cold and cynical heart had a beat or two at them being in the cold :)
In the UK I'll not forget the polltax "riots" in a hurry.... they were the days! ~gets zimmer frame out~
'So bitey's new ID seems to be Hyaline. Meaning "transparent" or "gristle"?'
No it doesn't it means Shallcross is a loud mouthed stool pigeon.
Here you were last night garnering sympathy about your best friends' separation and within hours your devastation is dispensed with for a late night session with Frankie Boyle.
Phone as well - told them it was a good job I couldn't get hold of a solicitor to formally brief me or I would be on the phone to the High Court duty judge right now to get a bloody emergency injunction even if I had to pay from my own pocket. I've also emailed the Beeb and the Evening Standard.
Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh - I really didn't mean to. I hope you're right and it does radicalise at least enough of them to make a difference. Its their future thats on the line.
"Are you really so stupid or fucked up that you can't see what everybody else can see about you from a mile away? Get some help, mate. Stop targeting women on obscure blogs. Stop archiving comments from years ago and producing them to try and hurt people. Stop pretending that you are a misunderstood defender of free speech. Stop being a complete cunt. It might even make you feel better, and alleviate your obvious self-loathing."
Everybody, or just a few fellow censors who gather on this site to share their prejudices and insult each other from time to time?
And are you suggesting that I start to practise discrimination by not responding to some posters because they're female?
The combination of the personal computer and the internet has produced a paradigm shift in the way we communicate and respond to each other and archiving is one aspect of that shift. To deny it would be rather like those post Newtonians trying to deny the force of gravity. Of course for a limited time they did and even Newton had some problems with it; but they were rowing against an inexorable tide.
And I notice that now, that everyone seems to be cut and pasting posts from WDYWTTA onto this site just in case they're deleted.
As for self-loathing and getting help, take it from me scherfig, you do sheer out of control anger like no one I know and as your coterie of admirers here so often tell you after one of your more abusive sessions, you really should try to be a little more friendly.
Whereas I am always polite, cheerful, and self-deprecating.
I've just been trapped in Brighton town centre for two hours because 'serious civil disorder' shut down the main through routes. Even the cops admit to 3,000 on the streets.
Sorry..but I think it's time we revealed the truth.
In 1993 I was part of a group of undergraduates on the University of Huddesrfield's "Social Identity and Media Representation with Interpretive Dance" BA sandwich course. We were becoming increasingly concerned at the ease with which neo-con fifth columnists were managing to undermine the message of progressive Left-Wing writers. "Monkeyfish" is the name that we gave to our "collective"...and as a sort of 'figurehead'...obviously my position was not a formal one...we oppose hierarchy of any form within the sphere of the interpretive arts, I got to use the moniker 'Monkeyfish"...also..my uncle Max was fairly high up in the Arts Council and so we were hopeful of securing some funding for our project.
We were attempting to get the message out to on-message Left-Wing writers we admired...like Martyn, Bru, Kizbot, Pen et al...that they should be wary of tactics of infiltration, ridicule or diversionary narratives from bogus posters.
The whole "Monkeyfish" project should be viewed as a situationist artwork which would serve as a warning of the probable difficulties they would face in staving off increasingly virulent attacks from the dark forces of the corporate state. Fortunately Uncle Max weighed in with a tasty couple of mil and the project was born. Obviously over the years there have been various artists at work on the Monkeyfish Narrative...some have even taken on identities of their own.
Rupert (GIYUS) had always had an interest in surrealist poetry and so he was perfect as the 'Mad-Dog Murdoch' of the team...Stella (meerkat) started out more on the interpretive dance side but gradually developed an interest in posting and eventually was granted her own persona..she's our 'Face'. Self-made-man (or Tarquin) was a obviously a shoo-in as our BA Baracus...and naturally I've always seen myself in the Hannibal role...cos I love it when a plan comes together..
I'm not up to speed on the rights of minors involved in demos but surely it's illegal to keep those under 16 out in the open on a freezing night like this.Wouldn't it automatically be seen as child abuse if anyone else other than the police did it?
Please correct me if i'm wrong someone but doesn't the law differentiate between children and adults.And whilst there may be grey areas with 16 and 17 year olds surely those under 16 are still unquestionably children(although many of them may hate to be called that).
Plus don't we still have a Childrens Czar in this country?And if so what the fuck is s/he doing about this totally unacceptable situation.
"I'm not up to speed on the rights of minors involved in demos but surely it's illegal to keep those under 16 out in the open on a freezing night like this.Wouldn't it automatically be seen as child abuse if anyone else other than the police did it?" Yeah, I thought that too, Paul. It really doesn't seem remotely right. I can't imagine it's legal. Perhaps someone will sue the bastards. If it was my girl out there, I'm pretty sure I would.
They have officially been reclassified from children to enemies of the state, they are lucky they are not being chased down by elite ex soldiers on 25 grand a year.
My eldest is in his early twenties, and I hope he is not kettled, and nice and warm some where, I daren't ask though - I'd be "that" parent. (he may even be tied up at work!)
I was asked why I wasn't there..... the irony of saying "cos I gotta teach" is not lost on me.
Jennifer, sadly both Tim and I have seen that kind of policing a little too up close and personal. I suspect that past experience is why I'm finding this so distressing. I don't want to live in another fascist state.
Funnily enough I have just been looking at the Austin case, which was the one on kettling that managed to get to the House of Lords. As usual lots of rattling on about proportionality and weighing up the competing rights of the kettled vs the greater needs of the community blah blah blah but that case was about an adult.
The bloke I spoke to at the Met just now - bless him, he did sound a bit cheesed off fielding all the calls - said that they were letting people out slowly and I said "Yes, because they will be taking their names and addresses one by one before letting them leave" and he said "yeah, well, I suppose that is what they need to do..."
No they don't. They don't need to have the name and address of someone exercising their lawful right to protest and free assembly before they can let them go home. How is that proportionate or a legitimate aim in protecting from the immediate threat when balanced against keeping kids in the freezing cold for hours? So I am thinking there has to be a case there. We just need someone with the cojones to take it on.
Right, I will stop geeking about the law now and go back to my usual inane ramblings.
And on another topic - from this day forth shall MF be known as The Monkeyfish Collective. :o)
"Two mothers with children stuck behind police lines said their children had contacted them earlier in the day to say they had been blocked in. Sara Tomlinson, 45, received a text message from her 16 year old daughter Katie at about 3pm. "I got here at 5pm. She sent me a text message at 3pm and said 'mum we have been kettled, and we have got to be here til 9pm'."
So police had determined at 3pm that they would kettle them til 9pm. That also doesn't sound like an emergency contingency but a planned operation. So that puts them outside of the scope of the Austin case as well, which was based on the very first kettling at the Mayday protest in 2001 where the police's argument was that they were "taken by surprise" and "had no choice" etc.
Timgoktutu - when I get a cob on about something I spend ages geeking about the law, but in my view the police are well and truly beyond the realms of proportionate.
I think it was ArecBalrin who was posting on the last student protest thread about how the police pick on easy targets like the Climate Camps, Kingsnorth and these kids, but let the really dangerous ones alone. When were the EDL last kettled for hours on end, eh?
Well, well, well. The kids are alright, aren't they? Country bumpkin kids in Iowa protest in support of transgender peers & British kids take to the streets to protest the crushing of their future.
It seems that protestors occupied a council building, Brighton University's Grand Parade HQ, a Vodafone shop, and... errr... a branch of Poundland. One large group kettled in the square at Bartholomews, by the Town Hall.
Hmmmmm . Kettling as punishment and supposedly a deterrent,then.
As Sheff said earlier it will radicalise some, shades of the Chalmers Johnson " Blowback", and also perhaps there are counter-measures to be invented. Legal à la BB , or tactical-- frog2.
Reading the Irish econ threads at the G, there are a lot of not only very angry but increasingly well-informed very angry people out there .
I hope you're right and it does radicalise at least enough of them to make a difference. It's their future that's on the line.
In more than one way it's their future. The more more of our young people realise what sort of government they really have, and how slight have become any available alternatives, the better - that is, the more likely a movement towards some hope of a change.
Glad to hear Sheffield uni are on board. Probably quite a few others then.
PeterJ
I've just been trapped in Brighton town centre for two hours because 'serious civil disorder' shut down the main through routes. Even the cops admit to 3,000 on the streets.
Which means it was probably rather more. What interesting times. Sounds fun.
Okay, except for being stuck there all of that time, but - 'you were there' (a part of history like) - and for quite a long time too.
Students occupying buildings - like the good old days. A bit of spirit at last.
Also good news about the poll results.
BB
...said that they were letting people out slowly and I said "Yes, because they will be taking their names and addresses one by one before letting them leave" and he said "yeah, well, I suppose that is what they need to do..."
Intimidation. I hope the youngsters had the sense to make up their details and to have fake IDs on them; but (sigh) probably not. That's the problem with our modern education system - always missing out instruction in the skills that matter.
So police had determined at 3pm that they would kettle them til 9pm.
Every parent should sue like crazy. Hopefully.
Jen
They have officially been reclassified from children to enemies of the state.
Revealing our (so called) leaders true character for all to see – if the country would only open their eyes.
And what happens when there’s more ‘enemies of the state’ than otherwise?
Send in the police? Considering how many of them they want to decrease, the police should consider more wisely where they focus their enthusiasm.
Send in the army? Haven’t they talked about cutting back on them too? Send them into the schools (or even colleges/unis)? That would be popular (that is to say - it wouldn’t be popular).
Is there left now any ordinary part of our society (that is, besides their own circles of financiers and business-player chums) whose security they aren’t threatening in one way or another?
The ConLibs thought that they were riding on a Dail Mail/Sun/Express etc. wave of support, as they aren't of the brightest and have seemed to have been swallowing all the misinformation sent their way; but that also means they can be fickle, and when they find their own situations being threatened, and not just those-people-over-there, they will turn like any worm that's found it's been using the wrong end.
"Is there left now any ordinary part of our society (that is, besides their own circles of financiers and business-player chums) whose security they aren’t threatening in one way or another?"
I swear that they have foreseen the riots even before the ConDems were in place. I swear that is why they have been putting in reinforced walls along the pavements in Whitehall for the past three years now.
All the legal framework is still in place to bang up as many people as they feel like for public order-related offences; all the email and cctv and ANPR tracking is in place, quite lawfully...
Thinking of the Vogon guard in Hitch-hiker's Guide: "Resistance Is Useless..."
BB "I swear that they have foreseen the riots even before the ConDems were in place. I swear that is why they have been putting in reinforced walls along the pavements in Whitehall for the past three years now."
Um, you don't think that might be something to do with paranoia (justified or otherwise) about Islamic terrorists with car bombs?
I complained to the beeb, then I added - The reporting by the BBC is very poor, and not worthy of being a British Broadcaster - the bias towards the Tories is positively sick making. And once again the odious little Nick Robinson shows almost orgasmic Tory pleasure at the handling of our children. He is a biased reporter, who ill behoves you, and it is about time you fired his very stupid arse!
I don't know why the font's different today. I don't know why it looks bold. I don't know why the image that I wanted to use today wouldn't post. I don't know why this one would.
ReplyDeleteI do know that I get off work 2 hours early today and that I have a 4 day weekend ahead of me.
Now I need to get to bed. Have fun, folks.
The cauldron of Dibley-ish (thanks, monkeyfish) inanity that is WADDYA rarely amuses me much; however, the Grauniad's pet Welsh/Jewish/Muslim/Zoroastrian/Radical Lesbian/Transgendered/Eritrean/goat-herding guitar prodigy, MurrayInEaling is rapidly becoming something of a comedy goldmine:
ReplyDelete"If you think you can libel me on Cif, without redress, then you have another thing coming.
Come on, put up, or shut up. I'm fine either way. My solicitor will be happy."(cue: Perry Mason Theme Tune)
"Remember when we used to agree with each other, before I went ATL, and before I knew of UT, or any of that stuff?
I didn't change. You did." (cue: very ancient and creaky violin playing 'Hearts and Flowers')
MarvinInEpping is a nasty, meretricious little kiss up-kick down sort; a pompous, sycophantic blowhard and posturing faux-left fantasist: he deserves everything he gets, the shifty, whining little scrub.
Short version of a very long joke:
ReplyDeleteBaby polar bear: "Mum are you absolutely sure I'm a polar bear?"
Mama polar bear: "Of course you're a polar bear, why do you keep asking?"
Baby polar bear: "Because I'm bloody freezing!"
Hello visitor from Greece
ReplyDeleteOoh, wedding at Westminster Abbey, nice one. My recollection of this has no hidden meaning, whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteMontana from yesterday evening.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up, please. Enjoy the break and just watch the residents of Dribbly squabbling and spilling food down their fronts.
jack cade
Sorry, I'm finding it hard to catch your drift there.
Is MarionInEwell a coagulated clump of semi-dried sputum and snot or one of the finest minds the world has ever seen?
Don't feel you have to hold back. Just tell it like it is.
Meanwhile, in today's episode of Ask the Internet... we try to determine what it is about the Chezza Mini-Me, Cher Lloydd, which is so odd.
Is it the fact that Chezza-Me's name is the same as, er, Chezza's, if you slur it?
Is it the fact that her face seems to be divided into autonomous regions, which never agree with each other what to do, so it looks like a bag of squirming cats?
Is it the fact that she is so desperate to be famous that she is prepared to become the clone of someone else by proxy?
...Let the Internet Decide...
Hi Kiz!
ReplyDeleteBye, Kiz!
ReplyDelete"Montana from yesterday evening.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up, please. Enjoy the break and just watch the residents of Dribbly squabbling and spilling food down their fronts."
(x2) seconded
Oh God. "No survivors" at the NZ mine, after another explosion.
ReplyDeleteDot - 'squid worm' found, floaty little thing.
ReplyDelete@atomboy- "Don't feel you have to hold back. Just tell it like it is."
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement. However, I don't really feel that it's my place to pass judgment on my moral and intellectual superiors like MobiusInEsterhazy...or penisthingy (who despite his endless self-puffery as an intellectual titan, has evidently never come to grips with the Argument From Authority Fallacy).
...sigh...duh...snigger...whateva...I'm off to the shops...byeeee).
Note to self: eat more fish.
squid worm
ReplyDeletebit traumatised by the footage of it trying to escape while being attacked by a giant hoover, but suppose you can't make a scientific-discovery-omelette without annoying some floaty-squid-thing-eggs...
Hi Philippa,
ReplyDeleteHave to agree with Banksia on the thread below that article, where's the link to the peer-reviewed scientific article? I put the scientific name Teuthidodrilus samae into web of science and google scholar and got nothing! (which could just mean the article's so new it's not in their databases, but if that's the case, without knowing which journal, I can't find it!)
Ok, just seen the link in the article, doh!
ReplyDeleteHi All..... bemused by MIE's bizarre 'fevers' last night.
ReplyDeleteBloody awful news about the men in that mine in NZ, but maybe they were already dead? It sounded like the mine was full of poisonous gas....
jack cade
ReplyDeleteI don't really feel that it's my place to pass judgment on my moral and intellectual superiors...
Yes, I see what you mean but there is also some kind of need to trap the essence of some of these media moguls and titans.
Obviously, not using the glass-horn-hoover method which sucks in baletically-wriggly squid-worms from grazing on the dead sludge at the bottom of the sea.
It's just that we do get an impression of what people are like from the way they present themselves in the media, hence the question about Chezza-Me.
The international political analyst, SpecialBrut, for example, always makes me think of someone who read the edited highlights of the Ladybird Books series on the kings and queens of Europe, capital cities of Europe, opera and ballet in Europe etc and then forgot most of the salient points.
Since Montana mentions Kurt Vonnegut at the top of the page, it might be worth remembering his warning: "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be."
Note to self: eat more fish.
Actually, squid-worms have now taken over from cod and chips amongst the smart set.
With guacamole.
Great picture Montana - that did make me smile when I saw that .
ReplyDelete@ Spike:
I have a confession to make (Being an atheist, I don’t know if it is at all due to the religious banter on here lately),
I have gone back to the ‘Tiles’, and I am now a ‘Woman Beater’.
I know, I know…. But the force was too great; you know the ‘high’ resulting from the use of all seven letters to make ‘returned’ and the adrenalin rush that ensues with 60 points in the bag, then the ‘lows’ when your opponent puts the ‘Q’ on a triple letter and scores 56 with the adjoining word….. The ebb and flow, the tactics, trying to manipulate your opponent into leaving a half chance at a Triple Score.
The gamut of emotions you have to endure at the end when your adversary tells you: ‘You’ve lost by one point’.
It may not, however, be suggested that my opponent used to do the calculations for MP’s expenses….. An Audit ensued…. Hah, an error indeed found, with the resultant score….338 v 335.
At last I am back in the land of the winning...
Should I give up now, knowing my adversary is highly skilled in the use of the English/French vocabulary or plough on regardless?
I know you have other predilections on your mind at the mo. , my only meagre advise on that matter would be not to take sides, and be there if either friend is in need, as I have had to do in the same situation in the past.
But I think I need help !!
LaRit - the rescue team's tests of the atmosphere suggests so - just hope that they were already dead (know that sounds horrible, just...to have survived, and been trapped, and been waiting, and hoping, only to then...). Horrible.
ReplyDeletePhilippa:
ReplyDeleteI must admit, I hoped so too... but I looked at the photos of their families..... that terrible, stumbling, immediate, grief that hits like a train and I just felt incredibly sad for them ;(
Sad about the miners.
ReplyDeleteHave had a quick skim read of Prof Harrington's report on the ESA Atos/DWP/ Work Capability Assessment in practice.......
I don't read it as a complete White Wash - he gives credibility to many of the real complaints/concerns voiced by claimants.
True he doesn't (at first read) address the elephant in the room - where are the fucking jobs that are going to be so good for the long term health of those vast numbers refused ESA? (not in terms of reference of course but still worth a note in passing on a scheme that is costing 100's of millions)
A careful reading (of some parts) suggest he is clear that DWP civil servants ( decision makers) are under pressure to uncritically accept Atos recommendations as gospel. The deviance rate ie a DWP decsion maker not accepting the Atos "advice" is only 2%!!!
He's raised enough questions to probably see himself replaced by someone more pliable in due course - watch the space and read the report ( links on yesterdays UT from Paul/me and waddya Redminer)
Yes, deano, hard workers die working, while the jokers who think they do an important job in finance and banking get to make a bit less money in hard times.
ReplyDeleteAll my thoughts and sorrow for the miners' families.
Waddya = Dibley.
ReplyDeleteI like the simplicity of this...
Would like to think and believe that there is a glimmer of hope for those miner's in NZ.
ReplyDeleteI got the impression the rescue attempt was deemed futile from the outset, but now with a second explosion ripping the guts out of the mines innards, and no direct ventilation route for spent gas. Haste will not be the word used in attempting a rescue, especially as those men rescuing will be in even more danger from further explosions !
Hi Tascia.
ReplyDeleteYou're playing bilingual - English AND French? I'd sneakily insist that the rules only cover one language at a time if that disadvantages your opponent.
* * *
So bitey's new ID seems to be Hyaline. Meaning "transparent" or "gristle"?
"Transparent Gristle"
ReplyDelete- avant-garde eighties subversive urban noise-guerillas ?
... or pesky man with bizarre agenda and big throbbing SQL server ?
ReplyDeleteY'know, @atomboy, I can't help feeling that my unseemly sneering at MolotovInEnfield bears the taint of jealousy. His latest wheeze...
ReplyDelete"What about a peoples panel on "What time do you wake up".
...bears the stamp of genius. If only I could be so inspired. Perhaps if I took up the guitar? Or Judaism? Or goat-herding? Perhaps I too could be a contender, instead of the pitiful, seedy, shambling wreck of a man that you see today. Am I just a crazy dreamer?
Deano
ReplyDeleteI did a quick skim read through Prof Harrington's report - thank you (and Paul) - I do actually keep copies of all of that type of stuff - sad or what - definitely it makes me feel sad to spend too much time looking at that type of material.
The paper isn't too much of a cover up for sure, BUT exactly how much notice do we imagine anyone is going to take of it?
Seems like they sent a different paper to the Grayling, who I saw on the news at the same time declaring how it showed that what the DWP (through Atos) were doing was fit for purpose, and just needed a bit of improving - which probably means finding a way of making it even nastier.
It wouldn't matter what the report said - they'd still carry on with doing what they're doing.
How I wish I could wave a wand that would remove from them their health and wealth and security and make them reliant on the lies of someone like themselves, and maybe then they'd really understand what they're doing.
The thought of being trapped and dying underground is appalling - I hope that those unfortunate miners were able to die quickly.
BW - Can't find a linky to that band - must have gone underground ! Great name though !
ReplyDeleteThat was Throbbing Gristle! (The band.... they had a wonderful moniker, not sure about the music though)
ReplyDeleteThe difficulty is, perhaps, that the Chilean mine rescue gave us a distorted picture of the likely outcome of such events.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the likelihood of dying is much greater than being heroically, dramatically rescued.
jack cade
Am I just a crazy dreamer?
There is a scale and perspective in all things.
You will probably never bore the world shitless with 18 000 comments which squeal and grind and shudder with the noise of the writer's brain crunching and stripping its gears, like MiriamInMonrovia.
However, would you really want to?
'What time do you wake up?' What a thrilling peoples panel that would be, to be followed by the exciting subject of 'Tea or Coffee, which do you prefer?' or even 'Tell us about your dreams'. ;)
ReplyDeleteTragic news about the miners in NZ, mining has got to be one of the scariest jobs possible, I really wouldn't want anyone I knew to work below ground, so dangerous.
As I cannot post on Dribbly any more, perhaps someone could follow up MartiniInEritrea's suggestion with:
ReplyDeleteWhat's your favourite colour.
That one could run and run.
@timboktutu
ReplyDeleteIndeed - they were more experimental than talented I fear...
@Atomboy
Or perhaps - exciting this one -
"what element are you ?" !
- MengelaInEsher
My goodness, this place is full of cif obsessed losers...
ReplyDeleteAnd an increasingly large number of people who drop by to tell us all that.
ReplyDeleteWhich is nice!!
Still, thanks for coming...
I see Gove is makeing a tit of himself again.
ReplyDelete-Hollywood Schools Reform #8
Sandhurst-trained officers leave the army to go and work for £25k in sink estate schools, rebuilding disciplne, respect and responsibility in communities previously shattered by, er unfettered capitalism of New Labour.
loveintheslammer - we prefer to call you trolls, petal.
@Loveintheslammer:
ReplyDeleteAre we bovvered?
Think you'll find there's a little more to the UT than a cursory glance at the last two threads would have you believe.
We like Polar bears see? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe cifreadrefugee.com site being full of people who talk about cif, what are the chances of that?
ReplyDeleteDon't go to football.com pet you will be positively shocked by the football talk.
Personally I am giving up cif for Christmas.
Still, at least our pop stars are still in touch:
ReplyDeleteThe story of a famous London cafe is to be told in a stage musical written by one of its most famous customers, Eurythmics star Dave Stewart.
Stewart is writing Bar Italia about the Soho cafe of the same name, which was one of London's first continental coffee shops when it opened in 1949.
Stewart said: "This coffee shop is very small but what goes on in there is as big as the world."
Loveley !
What's your favourite type of coffee ?
Bitterweed
ReplyDeleteSandhurst-trained officers leave the army to go and work for £25k in sink estate schools, rebuilding disciplne, respect and responsibility...
Sounds like a job for the Brackenator, if the world of day-trading and Ponzi schemes ever collapses around his ears.
His army career was probably more to do with clip-boards and lecterns and PowerPoint displays than anything which made a bigger bang than a fused light-bulb.
It must be hard to take on the unruly internet when delivering your wisdom was previously a one-way conversation with acne-riddled youths who had to call you "Sir" as they filed out after another stultifying lecture.
Bet he'd go down a bomb in a sink estate school.
What's your favourite type of coffee ?
ReplyDeleteOoh! I think I might know this one!
Is it Asbo's own-brand, made from ground up roasted acorns?
AB
ReplyDeleteHeh heh.
- "venti grande chai latté with forty grand, some extra bullshit and a weekly column".
Cheers !
stalkers anonymous, in other words...
ReplyDeleteShhh, you know the first rule of Stalkers anonymous.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteAs I'm at home and got a bit of time on my hands, I thought I would run through yesterdays thread to find:
90% of the posts there for some reason are directly and indirectly connected with this site This site being I suppose WTFyTA.
What I in fact found was that around 65 from 284 of yesterdays posts mentioned a site on the Guardian. Not all of those 65 were linked to WTFyTA, as some linked to other threads that may have been of interest to posters over here. I didn't include Bitey's regurgitations, as they are directed at posters on here.
So 65/284*100 = 22.89%, 90% ? Hmmmmm
Sandhurst-trained officers leave the army to go and work for £25k in sink estate schools, rebuilding disciplne, respect and responsibility...
ReplyDeleteSomething else for them to rebel against then.
Just a drive by..
ReplyDelete..anyone else see the face of Bagpus in that polar bear's butt?
Bitterweed:
ReplyDeleteWasn't our Dave suffering from that strange disorder where he had so much money he couldn't 'cope'?
I'm just saying like....
ReplyDeleteOoo...errr; anyone feel "tainted by association"?
ReplyDeletechekhov
ReplyDeleteI think it depends whether you are a taintee or a tainter. ;)
loveintheslammer said...
ReplyDelete"stalkers anonymous, in other words..."
Erm, unless you were christened in a similar fashion to that Beckham kid, isn't that a wee bit ironic.....??
Turm - That just made me larf !!
ReplyDeleteturminderxuss - that was bloody brilliant!
ReplyDelete@tascia
ReplyDeleteActually one of the founding tennets of the UT is to rip the piss out of that camp of lame, fawning and vague happy-clappys.
But as only a percentage here actually adhere to that tennet (preferring as they do for it to be a continuation of commentary on threads and the odd jibe at editorial policy), then it's probably even fewer who take the militant stance on it.
They clearly make an impression. I don't CiF anymore so rarely look at it, but the thickos over in Dibley really do seem to get in a bate about the UT even exisiting.
Hence the hilarous puffed up trolling over here.
Life's a cycle I guess. Dine at the UT. Shit at WTFyTA.
Hey chekhov, how's it going dahn sarf ??? Got a rough eta yet old buddy ?
turm !!! you have a rare and precious gift !!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletepeter bracken
ReplyDeleteBefore I can supply you with that information, I have to ask a simple question.
Are you interested in the ignorant cunt who knows he is ignorant - like Socrates?
Or the ignorant cunt who thinks he knows everything - like, er, you?
Obviously, it will not be worth your stocking up on one of these products, as you seem to be oversupplied already.
Can you guess which?
Definition of taint here
ReplyDeleteTaint batty nor punani...
ReplyDeleteturminderxuss
ReplyDeleteWell spotted!
Perhaps Bagpuss was trying to act out the old Australian expression:
If you can't see that [understand, appreciate etc] you may as well go and stick your head up a dead bear's bum.
Or maybe he was just bear-curious.
Bitterweed - That's class !!
ReplyDeleteA hairy taint is a blivet hazard
indeed tascia
ReplyDelete()*()
Or Pass me that cactus.... i have an itchy taint
ReplyDeleteTascia
ReplyDeleteLaw firm of dubious reputation ?
"Taint, Shiver and Gooch"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perineum
@BW:
ReplyDeleteOver half the Profanisaurus is dedicated to that particular piece of the anatomy, seemingly…
The “notcher”, “tinter”, “tintis”, “carse”, “barse”, “Humber Bridge” etc.
Given that it’s Christmas soon, I should add that the Profanisaurus makes a fine present for any elderly aunt or aged vicar you might know.
Cheers SB
ReplyDelete"Activity was brisk this morning in the Paris Barse"
Swifty
ReplyDeleteA Profanisaurus sounds like a disreputable dinosaur - difficult pet to keep in a pensioners flat or a vicarage.
I'd quite like on myself though.
@BW:
ReplyDelete”…there were high winds and a risk of skidding across the Humber Bridge this morning after last night's Real Ale Festival in Beverley…”
...and this.
ReplyDeleteThe Notcher - Bringing you the news that Slips through the Middle
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff. Got a meeting now, goddamn it !!!
ReplyDeleteCheers Rapid !
ReplyDelete@Leni:
ReplyDeleteA dinosaur would be good, but it’s actually a thesaurus of profanities. Originally penned by Roger Mellie (The Man on The Telly), but now compiled mostly from the submissions of ever-inventive (and foul-mouthed) Viz readers…
@BW:
ReplyDelete♫♪ You can tell by the way
I fan my arse
I’m a ladies’ man
With a sweaty barse ♫♪
One of Robin Gibb’s finest moments, that.
Enjoy your meeting!
Hello Bitters:
ReplyDelete"Got a rough eta yet old buddy ?"
Err, sorry, you'll have to translate that for me!
BTW: drop me an e-mail and let me know if your plans are running to schedule.
afk for a bit, all play nice now...
ReplyDeleteAny folkies might like my pals new album, available FREE here;
http://www.mikevass.com/
chekhov
ReplyDeleteWill do mate - all finished, the lads were in yesterday.
turminderxuss
Will check that out ...
SB
ReplyDeleteInspired.
afternoon comrades
ReplyDeleteAhhh! home at last and just had a quick squiz at Dribley. Not much sign of intelligent life as per. And as for us organising skirmishes and raiding parties? Why the hell would we do that? The raiding seems to be the other way round and bitey has actually moved in! think I'll give it a miss as I used, except for passing on Mr Selfmade's missives.
Turm - thanks for that folkie link - will check it out now.
I'm rather hoping that Roget's Tyrannosaurus eats the linen-draped, FSA-convicted, concrete-brained pride of the Catering Corp, P. Bracken, DSO, Bar and Restaurant.
ReplyDelete"You're dead, deceased, fucked, hosed, knackered, screwed, meat, lunch, history, an ex-City fraudster, the late Che Guevara of Cheam, former Andreas Baader of Bond St., dished, done, filed, etc etc....chomp"
You've got to feel for the saurian...Blairite toadies always give me indigestion. Poor Bracken. Despite his signal gaucherie, I suspect the poor bastard Just Wants To Be Loved.
An absolute classic from the NYT:
ReplyDeleteThe Great Game Imposter
America is stomping around the moonscape of Afghanistan trying to do the right thing, but we can’t because we’re clueless about the culture to the point where we can be faked out by an imposter masquerading as Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, a high-level Taliban commander.
heh..heh..heh..Jack. i know what you mean - but he's actually quite passable IRL as others will testify and knows how to get a round in. However don't let that get in the way of your flow.
ReplyDeleteBrusselsexpats
ReplyDelete24 November 2010 10:21AM
JimPress
_________
Yes I worked in the EU for three years, first in DG 1 then on the Lom̩ Task Force in DG 8 (which was at the time a spin-off from DG1). Lom̩ Рwhich has since been replaced Рwas essentially an aid and trade convention for the ACP countries. This meant we had regular personal contact with the ambassadors of these countries.
The DGs also employed a number of experts seconded from some aid-recipient countries or NGOs and many European experts used to working in the field.
I’ve also spent many years donating to various aid agencies and believe me, they know before any Western government when a humanitarian crisis is about to explode.
Later in a law firm my immediate boss was a man who is now one of the Deputy Directors-General of the WTO. We actually had a great deal of contact with that organisation at the time.
Of the four current WTO DDG's the following looks favourite:
Since 1995, Mr. Yerxa has been a practicing lawyer. He spent three years as a Brussels-based partner in a major U.S. law firm, where he represented U.S. clients on European regulatory matters and international trade
Careful Ms Brusselsexpats we are close to locating and naming you as timewaster of the year. Three more phone calls and four emails should do it.
Harry Windsor
London.
Afternoon all
ReplyDeleteMontana
Please don't let all this foolishness with the former UT ers now holding court on Waddya piss you off to the extent you want to close this place down.FWIW i was getting bemused to the point of beginning to question my own sanity.But no more.The problem is firmly with those wwho have a grievance with this place.And if a regular here is guilty of fanning the flames by feeding ammunition to the 'aggrieved' then try not to take it personally For that person-if s/he actually exists-is nothing more than a sad shitcunt who needs to seriously get themselves a life.:-)
@Anyways here's a golden oldie for everyone from
Sly and the Family Stone
Paul
ReplyDeletewhat's this about Montana closing the UT?
Right...listen up
ReplyDeleteCorporal Deano..I want you to take Privates Sheff, Chin and Bittweed down to B & Q and pick up 200 4 metre lengths of 2 x 4, 800 6ft fence panels and a big bag of nails
Sgt Wildhack..you, Turminder and Chekhov need to get hold of some scaffolding and find an old warehouse with a ceiling at least 80 ft high
Capt Atomboy..I want you to come up with some blueprints for a fuckin big horse with a compartment in its belly which can hold at least 20 deranged subversives...oh yeah...and some wheels
Here's the plan...we build the horse, climb inside...Deano tows us up to the gates of Waddya and delivers a letter which announces we've seen the error of our ways, surrender unconditionally and as a token of our regret and esteem, we have built a fuckin big horse to honour the integrity, indefatigably and sheer brilliance of all the Waddaya regulars...then..when they tow it inside...we wait until nightfall then, when they're celebrating their 'victory', we sneak out...kill every man woman and child and take over the thread...can't fail.
Once we're in charge we demand the immediate disbandment of the world-wide neo-con hegemony...declare CIF a socialist republic and demand free beer for life for the whole 'raiding party', an end to the smoking ban and demand Self Made Man gets poster of the year and a Nobel prize for Literature
OK...fall out...we'll meet back here at 2100...bring a torch
fall out
ReplyDeleteHey, we're old hands at that. This is going to be a breeze.
Can we have the free beer up front please? I am parched!
ReplyDeleteYou remind me of my five year old when she takes me on, jack c. What's your excuse?
ReplyDeleteBTW, you wear your language like a pig an overcoat. Get it tailored.
"And if a regular here is guilty of fanning the flames by feeding ammunition to the 'aggrieved' then try not to take it personally For that person-if s/he actually exists-is nothing more than a sad shitcunt who needs to seriously get themselves a life.:-)"
ReplyDeleteerm...feeding ammunition?..what's all this about? Can't deny I do like to fan the flames...even drop the occasional burning fag onto the odd convenient petrol 'spillage'...and sometimes I might have gone out after leaving all the gas on...then again I have openly stated that I'm on a mission to destroy the place by continually spreading discord...mind you, it's not exactly difficult..what with all the well-balanced, fiercely intelligent individuals who populate the thread.
Tip to all on Waddaya...if you wish all the bickering to stop, just apply the following principles:
a) ditch the paranoia
b) accept that you're not remotely as smart, interesting or in control of your emotions as you think
c) accept that just as long as you ignore the hypocrisy inherent to the place...there will always be people coming along (generally well-meaning and intentioned people) who will raise the matter...they're not class warriors with a chip on their shoulder...they're just principled and sick of the bullshit...and just maybe..the fact that so many of you instantly attack such people perhaps means you've become a bit too comfy, complacent and complicit...note the frequent use of 'intruders' (sic) or 'interlopers' (sic) or 'imposters' kinda indicates a proprietorial attitude which is totally out of place on a public thread...you seem to think you own the place
d) lastly...just be cool, circumspect and in some notable cases less arrogant...and in one notable case...stop bullshitting about your background
Easy...shouldn't be a problem (duh)...so if you can all manage this...I'll look a right idiot...and will have wasted my time...fat fuckin chance
Woo hoo! Finished work for the day 2 hours earlier than expected ... mostly because everything went to shit and there's no more to be done today.
ReplyDeleteLa bouteille, she is mon ami, to quote the great Daniel Lanois.
Linky to a mediocre live version.
ReplyDeletemonkeyfish
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I have to keep shooting out and coming back, so I have only just seen the details of the cunning plan and do not have much time to knock up the blueprint.
Here's a quick one in case it will help to get things moving until I can find my pencil-case.
I may also be able to get hold of some upside-down cake and a bottle of lemonade, but that's not a promise.
...we'll meet back here at 2100...
Has anyone got a conversion chart to turn this back into old money?
Is it tomorrow morning?
Atomboy - that one looks a bit hard to steer.
ReplyDeleteI say we go with this model.
There's one knocking around in the back garden.
Monkeyfish
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't a swipe at you.Jim Press left a post for Montana on waddya stating that he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here.And Montana felt like she was being stabbed in the back.:-)
evening all! also got off work early as most of the US seems to be refusing to answer the phone in preparation for Thanksgiving. So i think it is only fair that i also pass on my gratitude to the turkey.
ReplyDeletepie in oven. nice.
Paul
ReplyDelete"Jim Press left a post for Montana on waddya stating that he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here"
because just coming here and reading it would be too difficult? we didn't relocate to a hollowed-out volcano when I wasn't looking, did we?
puzzled by that there.
Paul - well, that clears something up.
ReplyDeleteAre we supposed to believe that Jim isn't capable of reading for himself? Why would someone else need to feed him information?
I don't understand this whole thing - I've always thought Jim was a pretty good poster.
Why would someone be feeding JimPress info on what is happening here, is he unable to read?
ReplyDeleteThe easy way to find out what those beasts on the UT are planning (I'm not planning anything by the way) is to bring up the page and read the words on it.
Snap, Philippa!
ReplyDeleteAnd Jen!
ReplyDeletephilippa and thauma
ReplyDeleteJinx. :)
Paul
ReplyDeleteOh right..I see
Montana..."he'd met someone from here who was feeding him info about what was being said here"
Met??..sorry Montana...oldest trick in the book..."yeah but we've got a sleeper inside your organisation"..pure fuckin invention...means of spreading paranoia...just like when I was pretending I wasn't meercat..
Atomboy
ReplyDeleteHorse??..is that your own work..or one of Tracey Emin's?
thauma
ReplyDeleteYeah, does that one have wheels and legs or not?
It actually looks like a head stuck on top of a gate.
Is it some mafia warning or sumfink?
monkeyfish
Look, all great artists borrow from our common cultural heritage and from other artists, OK?
It is my riff on Uffington White Horse and some cave paintings, with a bit of My Little Pony thrown in.
Otherwise, original in every way and ready to be pressed into service at a moment's notice.
Jim press said that Phillipa? I don't believe him. more like he comes over to the UT sinbin to lurk and pick up titbits himself. Plenty of others do.
ReplyDeleteI think some of the regulars on Whaddya have completely lost the plot.
ReplyDeleteShh, don't tell anyone I said that. If they haven't got the Internet, they may never find out.
Monkeyfish/Philipa/Thauma
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds really far-fetched .I was involved in a spat with Andalusia's finest in the early hours and Jim Press left a message for Montana on waddya saying that he'd met a poster from here etc etc.Obviously it could be a wind up.Or maybe i've gone totally mad and imagined the whole thing.
Assumed that's what Montana was referring to when she told Leni she felt stabbed in the back and was thinking of packing this place in.
"just like when I was pretending I wasn't meercat."
ReplyDeleteMy identity confusion knows no bounds.
surecate - not alone, pet, not alone...
ReplyDeletemy confusion more 'general', however...
Sheff
ReplyDeleteSorry i didn't get back earlier .Hope the above answers your question.
What Jimpress said:
ReplyDelete"It's a conundrum, when I've glanced at the UT it seems to be made up of overwhelmingly nice and decent people, but, for whatever reason, it also attracts a minority of people who are distinctly, ahem, troubled."
I'll leave you to argue over who's who. And who's the sneak.
Just seen the news. Lots of 15 year old kids are kettled in Whitehall in the freezing cold.
ReplyDeleteMakes me sort of glad I could not get down there. As it happens, the bloody volunteer who was supposed to be coming in for an interview this morning never turned up so I could have taken the morning off after all.
it seems to be made up of overwhelmingly nice and decent people, but, for whatever reason, it also attracts a minority of people who are distinctly, ahem, troubled."
ReplyDeleteMuch like anywhere else then, so what's the fuss about?
@Sheff
ReplyDeletepicking up titbits is how I started. "I can handle it" I said... now I'm a howling drunk bastard who loathes and mistrusts anyone to the right of Engels. Or something.
@MF
Have aquired the materials. See you at 2100.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOK so you think you know the true horror of the impending Royal Nuptials?
ReplyDeleteNot unless you are me. I just realised today what I may be in for.
I got a phone message from a company that does shows for older people and they are already advertising one about Royal Weddings.
That is not the thing though. It just made me realise that the old people I work with are almost certain to demand that I organise a Royal Wedding celebration for them.
The timing is interesting. My project is funded until the end of March and we will be lucky to escape being slashed. So if we fall victim to the cuts this year we will probably finish at the end of March...
Just in time to save me from the horror.
So maybe there will turn out to be an upside to ConDem slash and burn after all!
I know, I know, I am being selfish. But can you imagine having to organise a Royal Wedding party? Union Jacks, pictures of Prince Watshisname and Whateverhernameis... Aaargh!
"Much like anywhere else then, so what's the fuss about?"
ReplyDeleteTrue dat and it beats me. I think people in both places like the excitement.
Thauma It just hadn't dawned on me. Then I heard this phone message and thought... Oh Fuck! The hairs on the back my neck actually stood up.
ReplyDeleteThere might be a way out of it. But it is not worth worrying about until I find out if I will even have a job then.
Which in not going to stop the nightmares.
Spencer - er, are you the only one? Can you not pawn it off on some unsuspecting other person?
ReplyDeleteI hope you do keep your job, but ... eurgh ... under the circs ... it's almost not worth it.
Yippee! laptop up and running again and how refreshing to do business with someone who is not trying to rip you off.
ReplyDeleteI'm well chuffed; a highly impressive result for the sake of £80.
(Oh God, I hope I haven't spoken too soon!)
Spencer
ReplyDeleteYou realize those old timers will guilt trip you like crazy.'This could be the last Royal Wedding i'll be around to see..etc etc.' It's a pity 'Challenge Anneka' Or 'Jim'll Fix It' ain't still going cos you could have asked them to sort out the party for you.
Seriously though i hope you keep your job.And if it's any consolation those working with the elderly should in the long term see more employment opportunities arise as the post war baby boom generation reires.
Yeah, thauma, I might wriggle out of it. But if I did I would have a very bad conscience. It is my job and I have made a big deal about getting the elderly members to have a say in what we do.
ReplyDeleteSee where fucking democracy can get you?
There is a possible out though, which is "the St Patrick's day gambit." We sometimes do a Burns Night and a couple of years ago we had a St George's day celebration. There are a fair few Irish people and some asked about St Paddy's. But I didn't do it because in our part of London there are literally dozens of St Patrick's day parties. You could not get a fiddledeedee band for a pot of leprechaun gold, though giant foam Guinness hats are everywhere.
So though I would be only too happy to organise a St Patrick's day do if we were somewhere else, it would be completely redundant here. There is even one specifically for older people in the area organised by the Irish equivalent of our scheme which covers our area.
And the Royal Wedding (I would fear, and possibly also hope) would be like St Patrick's day squared. If every sheltered housing unit, local church, community group and half the streets are organising parties it would just be silly for us to do one in competition with all the others.
That is going to be my line anyway... that might work... deep breaths... deep breaths...
Spencer - just be glad you aren't in a Proddie area in Northern Ireland. Cannot imagine the excruciating pain of that.
ReplyDeletegiant foam Guinness hats
I have one of those! Only to be worn for really important Irish rugby matches, though.
Paul "if it's any consolation those working with the elderly should in the long term see more employment opportunities arise as the post war baby boom generation reires."
ReplyDeleteThanks Paul, but it isn't really. I am fairly burnt out and was all ready to do something else before the job market curled up and died. The problem with working with the elderly is that the old buggers keep dying on you, often after you have got to know them and like them, and it is really starting to get to me.
People just don't get better form old age.
But I have worked with some of these people for 10 years and I really wanted to leave the project healthy and in good hands, not go because it was being wound up as a result of the cuts.
Kettling becomes containment, don't you just love the Met's PR department? I wonder what the next word is going to be, something sweeter, something nicer... erm...
ReplyDeleteFact is, whatever they call it, they're abusing human rights (if you believe in any of us having any, that is).
thauma "I have one of those!"
ReplyDeleteHmmm... however did I guess that you would have..?
I suspect that they are indistructable and as more get produced every year we will eventually be buried under an enormous pile of them. In this part of London, anyway.
Heyhabib you don't mean "Help-Hugging" do you?
ReplyDeleteHabib/Spencer: "cuddling".
ReplyDeleteheyhabib
ReplyDeletewonder what the next word is going to be, something sweeter, something nicer... erm...
Soft play area?
Cheese and wine party?
Safe social networking?
thauma
ReplyDeleteHa! Got it in one!
Could be Spencer, but I don't think they've got to that stage yet. 3/10.
ReplyDeleteObviously, the new name will go hand in hand with calling the demonstrations "terrorism."
ReplyDeleteThauma 3/10, marks removed for believing the Met aren't "real men".
ReplyDeleteAtomboy 6/10
ReplyDeleteThat's the kind of forward, market-driven thinking, we need!
Atomboy
ReplyDeleteYep I reckon they will go the other way and instead of prettying up the name for kettling they will just demonise any protestors.
They will be using rubber bullets soon to protect civilisation from the revolt.
Shooting kids to protect Queen Kate.
The police today had to control-cuddle a large crowd of several dozen eleven year old terrorists.
ReplyDelete"Shooting kids to protect Queen Kate."
ReplyDeleteThat wins!
Habib, what a sexist thing to say. I'm sure a small but significant portion of the Met are "unreal women".
ReplyDeleteJust wait until a selection of them and spike-hooved police mares 'cuddle' you when you next happen to become involved in a demo, voluntarily or involuntarily.
@Habib
ReplyDeleteEmpathetic containment?
Apparently the Palin woman has said - "We must stand by our North Korean allies." You'd think someone would have briefed her properly but given the NYT piece earlier, I suppose one shouldn't be too surprised.
ReplyDeleteSpencer - what a bind to be in - you have my sympathy.
Btw, Turminder's comment about Bagpuss and the polar bear was genius. Cracks me up every time I refresh the page.
ReplyDelete"Just wait until a selection of them and spike-hooved police mares 'cuddle' you when you next happen to become involved in a demo, voluntarily or involuntarily."
ReplyDeleteCareful, Thauma, you'll excite Bitey.
Paul, I do like "empathetic containment" - buddhist riot police?
@Habib
ReplyDeleteSeriously it gets worse.According the the London Standard Michael Gove has announced that ex soldiers are to be drafted in to maintain discipline in the classroom.Just what any squaddie recovering from post traumatic stress needs.A spell in a 'problem' comprehensive with crap teachers,surly parents and out of control kids.
Gotta go.
ReplyDeleteMay be back later.
Are we all still on for the horse job?
When shall I tell Atomgirl to expect me back - or shall we leave it open-ended?
Should I wear thermal underwear and bring a book?
Sheff - did she really? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteKettling kids
ReplyDelete_____________________________
a message from Clare Solomon president of University of London Union "We're
still illegally kettled in the freezing cold on Whitehall. No food,
water or toilets despite what the lying police are telling the media.
Thousands of young people needing to go home. Plz spread the word and
make complaints to whoever u can. Not ...sure what else to say.."can folks call :New Scotland Yard on : 0300 123 1212
Paul
ReplyDeleteJust what any squaddie recovering from post traumatic stress needs.
Yeah, and just what the kids need too.
Win-win.
I think Crowd-Cuddle has to be a winner.
ReplyDeleteAB - definetely up for the horse job - have the saddle and bridle ready Sarge.
ReplyDeletere kettling - I do sympathise as have been in similar situations myself but they might as well find out the reality of what they/we're up against. Kettling will seem like paradise in comparison with what we might be facing in the not to distant future. It's crap if you need a pee though
Phoned that number, Timboktutu, people are being released "bit by bit, for health and safety reasons" they don't have access to food, water or sanitation.
ReplyDeleteMade a point about how quickly Old Trafford can be emptied, but the poor fella on the line sounded awfully harassed.
It's going to radicalise some of them Sheffpixie - but also being an old dude with kids myself my normally cold and cynical heart had a beat or two at them being in the cold :)
ReplyDeleteIn the UK I'll not forget the polltax "riots" in a hurry.... they were the days! ~gets zimmer frame out~
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Shallcross:
ReplyDelete'So bitey's new ID seems to be Hyaline. Meaning "transparent" or "gristle"?'
No it doesn't it means Shallcross is a loud mouthed stool pigeon.
Here you were last night garnering sympathy about your best friends' separation and within hours your devastation is dispensed with for a late night session with Frankie Boyle.
"I think Crowd-Cuddle has to be a winner."
ReplyDeleteNah...they'll stick with the kitchen utensil theme..."spooning"
Phone as well - told them it was a good job I couldn't get hold of a solicitor to formally brief me or I would be on the phone to the High Court duty judge right now to get a bloody emergency injunction even if I had to pay from my own pocket. I've also emailed the Beeb and the Evening Standard.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fucking disgrace.
And it's only going to get worse...
Tim
ReplyDeleteSorry if I sounded a bit harsh - I really didn't mean to. I hope you're right and it does radicalise at least enough of them to make a difference. Its their future thats on the line.
FOB and do something useful for a change.
ReplyDeleteSheff
ReplyDeleteI can only see this getting worse too. :(
scherfig
ReplyDeleteSorry I missed this gem of yours yesterday:
"Are you really so stupid or fucked up that you can't see what everybody else can see about you from a mile away? Get some help, mate. Stop targeting women on obscure blogs. Stop archiving comments from years ago and producing them to try and hurt people. Stop pretending that you are a misunderstood defender of free speech. Stop being a complete cunt. It might even make you feel better, and alleviate your obvious self-loathing."
Everybody, or just a few fellow censors who gather on this site to share their prejudices and insult each other from time to time?
And are you suggesting that I start to practise discrimination by not responding to some posters because they're female?
The combination of the personal computer and the internet has produced a paradigm shift in the way we communicate and respond to each other and archiving is one aspect of that shift. To deny it would be rather like those post Newtonians trying to deny the force of gravity. Of course for a limited time they did and even Newton had some problems with it; but they were rowing against an inexorable tide.
And I notice that now, that everyone seems to be cut and pasting posts from WDYWTTA onto this site just in case they're deleted.
As for self-loathing and getting help, take it from me scherfig, you do sheer out of control anger like no one I know and as your coterie of admirers here so often tell you after one of your more abusive sessions, you really should try to be a little more friendly.
Whereas I am always polite, cheerful, and self-deprecating.
Monkeyfish
ReplyDeleteWe won't be shooting Luke as a deserter, we will be restricting his breathing rights in order to protect the community. ;)
That was a joke Luke, I in no way condone the virtual shooting of anonymous members of fictional communities.
sheff
ReplyDeleteAccording to the twitter feed I'm glued to, Sheffield Uni has been occupied.
Big up the students!
FOB
ReplyDeleteI've just been trapped in Brighton town centre for two hours because 'serious civil disorder' shut down the main through routes. Even the cops admit to 3,000 on the streets.
ReplyDeletePeterJ - woo hoo!
ReplyDelete(It's easy for me to say that because I live in a village where the threat of serious civil disorder is practically nil.)
(We do have the occasional rumpus which I'm sure Selfmademan would understand, but it is very local.)
evening MsC
ReplyDeleteSheffield uni occupied - good heavens, must be at least 35 years since that last happened. perhaps there's hope after all!
Surecate
ReplyDelete"My identity confusion knows no bounds."
Sorry..but I think it's time we revealed the truth.
In 1993 I was part of a group of undergraduates on the University of Huddesrfield's "Social Identity and Media Representation with Interpretive Dance" BA sandwich course. We were becoming increasingly concerned at the ease with which neo-con fifth columnists were managing to undermine the message of progressive Left-Wing writers.
"Monkeyfish" is the name that we gave to our "collective"...and as a sort of 'figurehead'...obviously my position was not a formal one...we oppose hierarchy of any form within the sphere of the interpretive arts, I got to use the moniker 'Monkeyfish"...also..my uncle Max was fairly high up in the Arts Council and so we were hopeful of securing some funding for our project.
We were attempting to get the message out to on-message Left-Wing writers we admired...like Martyn, Bru, Kizbot, Pen et al...that they should be wary of tactics of infiltration, ridicule or diversionary narratives from bogus posters.
The whole "Monkeyfish" project should be viewed as a situationist artwork which would serve as a warning of the probable difficulties they would face in staving off increasingly virulent attacks from the dark forces of the corporate state. Fortunately Uncle Max weighed in with a tasty couple of mil and the project was born. Obviously over the years there have been various artists at work on the Monkeyfish Narrative...some have even taken on identities of their own.
Rupert (GIYUS) had always had an interest in surrealist poetry and so he was perfect as the 'Mad-Dog Murdoch' of the team...Stella (meerkat) started out more on the interpretive dance side but gradually developed an interest in posting and eventually was granted her own persona..she's our 'Face'. Self-made-man (or Tarquin) was a obviously a shoo-in as our BA Baracus...and naturally I've always seen myself in the Hannibal role...cos I love it when a plan comes together..
I'm not up to speed on the rights of minors involved in demos but surely it's illegal to keep those under 16 out in the open on a freezing night like this.Wouldn't it automatically be seen as child abuse if anyone else other than the police did it?
ReplyDeletePlease correct me if i'm wrong someone but doesn't the law differentiate between children and adults.And whilst there may be grey areas with 16 and 17 year olds surely those under 16 are still unquestionably children(although many of them may hate to be called that).
Plus don't we still have a Childrens Czar in this country?And if so what the fuck is s/he doing about this totally unacceptable situation.
"I'm not up to speed on the rights of minors involved in demos but surely it's illegal to keep those under 16 out in the open on a freezing night like this.Wouldn't it automatically be seen as child abuse if anyone else other than the police did it?"
ReplyDeleteYeah, I thought that too, Paul. It really doesn't seem remotely right. I can't imagine it's legal. Perhaps someone will sue the bastards. If it was my girl out there, I'm pretty sure I would.
Paul and Meerkate
ReplyDeleteThey have officially been reclassified from children to enemies of the state, they are lucky they are not being chased down by elite ex soldiers on 25 grand a year.
God no sheff - I was giggling as I read that!
ReplyDeleteMy eldest is in his early twenties, and I hope he is not kettled, and nice and warm some where, I daren't ask though - I'd be "that" parent. (he may even be tied up at work!)
I was asked why I wasn't there..... the irony of saying "cos I gotta teach" is not lost on me.
Jennifer, sadly both Tim and I have seen that kind of policing a little too up close and personal. I suspect that past experience is why I'm finding this so distressing. I don't want to live in another fascist state.
ReplyDeleteFunnily enough I have just been looking at the Austin case, which was the one on kettling that managed to get to the House of Lords. As usual lots of rattling on about proportionality and weighing up the competing rights of the kettled vs the greater needs of the community blah blah blah but that case was about an adult.
ReplyDeleteThe bloke I spoke to at the Met just now - bless him, he did sound a bit cheesed off fielding all the calls - said that they were letting people out slowly and I said "Yes, because they will be taking their names and addresses one by one before letting them leave" and he said "yeah, well, I suppose that is what they need to do..."
No they don't. They don't need to have the name and address of someone exercising their lawful right to protest and free assembly before they can let them go home. How is that proportionate or a legitimate aim in protecting from the immediate threat when balanced against keeping kids in the freezing cold for hours?
So I am thinking there has to be a case there. We just need someone with the cojones to take it on.
Right, I will stop geeking about the law now and go back to my usual inane ramblings.
And on another topic - from this day forth shall MF be known as The Monkeyfish Collective. :o)
PeterJ
ReplyDelete3000? You get 10 times as many as that on the streets for gay pride ffs. And they don't get kettled...
sheff
ReplyDeleteHicks Building is occupied. Messages of support to:
occupation.sheffield@gmail.com
Sheffield Occupation blog
ReplyDeleteJust got this off the Graun news blog
ReplyDelete"Two mothers with children stuck behind police lines said their children had contacted them earlier in the day to say they had been blocked in.
Sara Tomlinson, 45, received a text message from her 16 year old daughter Katie at about 3pm.
"I got here at 5pm. She sent me a text message at 3pm and said 'mum we have been kettled, and we have got to be here til 9pm'."
So police had determined at 3pm that they would kettle them til 9pm. That also doesn't sound like an emergency contingency but a planned operation. So that puts them outside of the scope of the Austin case as well, which was based on the very first kettling at the Mayday protest in 2001 where the police's argument was that they were "taken by surprise" and "had no choice" etc.
BB - 'Tomlinson'. FFS.
ReplyDeleteAm off to bed, fight the good fight, all.
BB - thankyou.
ReplyDeleteOh Thauma that name just brought it right down didn't it?
ReplyDeleteNot even slightly amusing any more.
Night Thaum
ReplyDeleteTimgoktutu - when I get a cob on about something I spend ages geeking about the law, but in my view the police are well and truly beyond the realms of proportionate.
I think it was ArecBalrin who was posting on the last student protest thread about how the police pick on easy targets like the Climate Camps, Kingsnorth and these kids, but let the really dangerous ones alone. When were the EDL last kettled for hours on end, eh?
Fuckers.
Claims of police horses charging kettles in Manchester & Whitehall, someone speculates that this may be a 'new tactic?'.
ReplyDeleteI've got news for them. It isn't a new tactic at all.
God, Jenn and Thaum, I didn't even click about the Tomlinson name... jeez. :(
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well. The kids are alright, aren't they? Country bumpkin kids in Iowa protest in support of transgender peers & British kids take to the streets to protest the crushing of their future.
ReplyDeleteFanfuckingtastic!
It seems that protestors occupied a council building, Brighton University's Grand Parade HQ, a Vodafone shop, and... errr... a branch of Poundland. One large group kettled in the square at Bartholomews, by the Town Hall.
ReplyDelete"I've got news for them. It isn't a new tactic at all. "
ReplyDeleteI keep saying "Fuckers" because I can't think of any other word to use.
Brighton Argus is running an online poll about the protest - it's currently running at 70-30 in favour of the students.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm . Kettling as punishment and supposedly a deterrent,then.
ReplyDeleteAs Sheff said earlier it will radicalise some, shades of the Chalmers Johnson " Blowback", and also perhaps there are counter-measures to be invented. Legal à la BB , or tactical-- frog2.
Reading the Irish econ threads at the G, there are a lot of not only very angry but increasingly well-informed very angry people out there .
Good .
Vincent Browne programme last night on Irish TV3 .
Some very straight talking :
"Our System of Governance is up in the air .."
"We are in Default Territory ..."
No schadenfreude --- it's coming all our ways too ...
Connards, fils de putes ?
ReplyDeleteSheff
ReplyDeleteI hope you're right and it does radicalise at least enough of them to make a difference. It's their future that's on the line.
In more than one way it's their future. The more more of our young people realise what sort of government they really have, and how slight have become any available alternatives, the better - that is, the more likely a movement towards some hope of a change.
Glad to hear Sheffield uni are on board. Probably quite a few others then.
PeterJ
I've just been trapped in Brighton town centre for two hours because 'serious civil disorder' shut down the main through routes. Even the cops admit to 3,000 on the streets.
Which means it was probably rather more. What interesting times. Sounds fun.
Okay, except for being stuck there all of that time, but - 'you were there' (a part of history like) - and for quite a long time too.
Students occupying buildings - like the good old days. A bit of spirit at last.
Also good news about the poll results.
BB
...said that they were letting people out slowly and I said "Yes, because they will be taking their names and addresses one by one before letting them leave" and he said "yeah, well, I suppose that is what they need to do..."
Intimidation. I hope the youngsters had the sense to make up their details and to have fake IDs on them; but (sigh) probably not. That's the problem with our modern education system - always missing out instruction in the skills that matter.
So police had determined at 3pm that they would kettle them til 9pm.
Every parent should sue like crazy. Hopefully.
Jen
They have officially been reclassified from children to enemies of the state.
Revealing our (so called) leaders true character for all to see – if the country would only open their eyes.
And what happens when there’s more ‘enemies of the state’ than otherwise?
Send in the police? Considering how many of them they want to decrease, the police should consider more wisely where they focus their enthusiasm.
Send in the army? Haven’t they talked about cutting back on them too? Send them into the schools (or even colleges/unis)? That would be popular (that is to say - it wouldn’t be popular).
Is there left now any ordinary part of our society (that is, besides their own circles of financiers and business-player chums) whose security they aren’t threatening in one way or another?
The ConLibs thought that they were riding on a Dail Mail/Sun/Express etc. wave of support, as they aren't of the brightest and have seemed to have been swallowing all the misinformation sent their way; but that also means they can be fickle, and when they find their own situations being threatened, and not just those-people-over-there, they will turn like any worm that's found it's been using the wrong end.
"Serious Civil Disorder" for those exaggerating tossers means mild disruption for the Silent Majority's shopping habits.
ReplyDeleteDown t"pub! "Buy Two Get One Free" nite ?
XX
Fils de putes will do for now, Frog2 ;o)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I was thinking more "CRS-SS"
Moonwave
"Is there left now any ordinary part of our society (that is, besides their own circles of financiers and business-player chums) whose security they aren’t threatening in one way or another?"
I swear that they have foreseen the riots even before the ConDems were in place. I swear that is why they have been putting in reinforced walls along the pavements in Whitehall for the past three years now.
All the legal framework is still in place to bang up as many people as they feel like for public order-related offences; all the email and cctv and ANPR tracking is in place, quite lawfully...
Thinking of the Vogon guard in Hitch-hiker's Guide: "Resistance Is Useless..."
BB "I swear that they have foreseen the riots even before the ConDems were in place. I swear that is why they have been putting in reinforced walls along the pavements in Whitehall for the past three years now."
ReplyDeleteUm, you don't think that might be something to do with paranoia (justified or otherwise) about Islamic terrorists with car bombs?
Meerkatjie
ReplyDeleteBBC Newsnight is apparently tweeting for 6th formers still in the kettle to get in touch with them.
I complained to the beeb, then I added - The reporting by the BBC is very poor, and not worthy of being a British Broadcaster - the bias towards the Tories is positively sick making. And once again the odious little Nick Robinson shows almost orgasmic Tory pleasure at the handling of our children. He is a biased reporter, who ill behoves you, and it is about time you fired his very stupid arse!
ReplyDeleteDo you think they might get my point?
Tim
ReplyDeleteErm, maybe!
Nice one, Tim
ReplyDeleteI have complained to them as well. Asking them what they thought they were doing, etc.